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This just in!! Marilyn is a moron. This is still a breaking story so stay with us as we learn more. Right now we know that Marilyn thinks that she does ok but in reality does very badly. Resons for this performance have been attributed to several things including her indifference towards going to Harvard, her annoying parents, and her almost too cute dog. Marilyn's indifference towards Harvard as well as other Ivy League schools is unpresidented at a school of Bishop's IQ ratings. Many people think she is just an underachiever, but others, including Marilyn herself beg to differ. "Fuck Harvard. Fuck America. Fuck everything. Fuck you." Although Marilyn may have seemed to be in a foul mood, her parents say we caught her in a rare moment of literacy. "Normally she just sleeps alot. We were happy to see her get so much exercise while talking to you." Experts say this is among the reasons for her recent cow-like appearance. "Shes just putting on her, uh, summer padding," said one confused scientist, "We think she will remain comatose until school, whn she will be prodded into sleeping is 6 or 7 classes a day instead of her comfy bed." As we saying, this story is still breaking so expect to hear more in the near future. Another thing, Kirsten and I (Marilyn) are starting a newspaper. We have yet to decide on a name but She is writing stuff on vacation in Colorado while I try to write stuff here in, uh, the city in which we live. Yes, exellent. Taco Bell was stupid to get rid of the Dog. He rocked my world. Such a sexy Dog. Mmmmmmmm... Dog. So very tasty, just like Taco Bell. Wait a minute...	It has been recently reported that Kirsten's scanner is described as "taking a nap". Another technologist said the unruly peice of machinery was "hibernating" A more knowledgable nerd pointed out that, "in actuality it is the computer that is screwing Kirsten over, this is not the first time a computer has taken a disliking to this webdesigner." Kirsten commented "COmputers and I have a delicate love/hate relationship, computers are tricky little devils, you have to be careful what you say around them, they can always hear." This unfortunate event will keep Kirsten from adding graphic decoration to the website known around the world as a "crapbucket" Well Kirsten says she is very sorry for any inconvenience and assures everyone that her cofounder Marilyn feels the same way. Parent's ZUCK!!!! I have never met a person who has not been scarred or ruined in some way by their parents, just another reason why the system should be chewed and barfed up onto another planet where life doesn't exist (hint: all of them)	Reporter's Wanted!! E-mail Marilyn at marmarwood@yahoo.com for more information. We pay a penny a paragraph. No professionals please, novices looking to make it in the business only. Thank you. Also, if you want to place an ad on our site, prices will be negotiated upon placement of add. You can make the ad or we can ad-lib something. Think long and hard, a bunch of teenaged girls will be seeing it... I like ponies and rainbows and pretty things. How about you?? Do you love every cute tiny little thing?? I just love babies and fuzzies and cuties and oozies. Not the gun that is. hehehhehehehehe.
	In other news, Marilyn signed up for to many classes, making Dr. Hennessy's life a hard one. In the end, Marilyn had to give up journalism, in order to fit in her math class. Were it not for The Bishop's School and its irreverence towards journalistic feats, Marilyn feels that this situation could have been avoided. She stated "I wanted to take journalism, not math. Now I guess I'll have to do freelance. There go my chances of ever being an editor." Although we have yet to talk to Mr. Brown, the journalism teacher, we hope that he will be reasonable and allow Marilyn to be an editor even if she can't be on the staff full time. Marilyn also needs to tell her boyfriend that she will not be on the staff because he was taking the class to be with her. Oops.	Oh my gosh!! What ever could have happened here??? Do you guys know?? What happened to this poor guy?? Find out when we do...
A recent study has shown that over working a computer mouse can lead to, among other things, death. More on this as it happens, because I have to go study for a test.	Marilyn, a high school junior, has a 4.0, IN COLLEGE!!! See if this trend continues after she takes her next test.	Kirsten was unavailable for comment today after proclaiming that summer school is only for losers. When we talk to her, more will appear in this space.
	Marilyn has recently been proclaimed a loser because she's taking math instead of journalism, leaving me with several undesirable people, including you know who. I might drop journalism too when school starts, she couldn't even mention me in her article. Kirsten was taking it to hang out with Marilyn partly too. Well maybe we'll have fun being freelancers, i didn't really want to hang out with those people anyway and we're not even editors so poo!! couldn't u drop something else, u stupid head!! I mean I'm taking everything required and i still have time, u could do a sport or something!! U ZUCK!!! yes ZUCK!!!!!!	Wow so I don't know what to say here. Why don't you say something Kirst?? (If you need help with the tables, let me know.) So, um also, I'd like to say that Red necks are weird. I, personally, am not a red neck, so in the act of observing their behaviors i have come to the conclusion I just stated. Yup, this is all I've got right now. Charmed is not as good as usual. And King of the Hill is even worse. Oh help me please!!!! Yay, band camp is tomorrow!!
SURVEY!! there are two surveys today. FIRST OF ALL:Describe your best and worst Christmas memory SECOND: describe the most important day of your life so far. you could be printed so we reserve rights to anything u send us. SEND US YOUR SURVEY COMMENTS	Bizaar hair trends sweeping the nation. Take for example, these two young ladies. One of them with black hair, the other with orangey hair. And its not even Halloween!!!	Marilyn recently decided that she resents the being proclaimed a loser. She would like to point out that she was an idiot to take women's history last year instead of old testicle and now she is screwed. Also, Dr. Hennessy didn't give this poor girl a chance to decide between Journalism and Math. Marilyn would have choosen journalism, but unfortunatly, math is required. Oh, does Kirsten still have her algebra book from last year?? Would you like to sell it to Marilyn??