10-30-03
MARILYN: 7:33pm. I saw a depressing movie today with kirst. it was really depressing. we had school. and despite what they say, lots of stuff is due all over the fucking place. grr. oh well. mr. brown is a poo and if i don't get an A+ for being the best ever (despite what will be my poor poor attempt at a journalism journal) then i will be upset. i have done SO much work. like far more atricles than everyone else put together. hmph. oh well i'm going to go do some english thing and then decide what i need for this journal (all the stuff i haven't been holding onto).
10-29-03
MARILYN: 9:21pm. The air has been shitty since sunday. we had the last few days off. tomorrow we go back. only high school to do that, i might add. i guess we are paying 15000 dollars more than most people though. i hate san diego and southern california as a whole. at least right now i do. tomorrow i'll be skipping down a path thinking about the wonders of the world like every other normal so cal brat. its times like these i reallt hate my life. i just think that this whole earthquake ridden, fire prone, armpit of the counrty should be declared uninhabitable and everyone should be forced to leave. stupid san diego, stupid everything.
10-26-03
MARILYN: Theres some sort of large fire covering large parts of the county. i woke up and it was yellow outside from the ash andsmoke and stuff. freaky shit. i don't really want to apply to college. mostly cause of my mother. oh well, i'll just get a job at arby's.
10-15-03
MARILYN: 8:16pm. I still have my dad's b-day present. oops... we had a UC app thing after school at like 6 today. it was lame. i've been eating out a lot. life is good except when i'm here. my parents just hate me i think.
10-8-03
MARILYN: 8:31pm. I'm gonna be gone all weekend, so i thought i'd throw in a rant before i left. dot dots. some would say the best part of the yearbook. some would not. right now i'm on the fence. you people. oh my goodness how to start. i guess just don't involve me in your complicated shit. and don't let the conflict of the moment detract from some friendship you've had for 6 years. and don't involve me in your complexities. i guess i have a plea though, don't turn this into another room choice problem. remember junior year?? and the immaturity that surfaced when we had to choose roomies for a night in LA?? well all i can say is that i can already see it beginning to happen, and i hope for your sakes that it doesn't go through. best of luck, have a good weekend.
10-7-03 HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANCHO!!!
MARILYN: 10:40pm. governor s. woo fucking hoo. oh well i won't go political, it'll only alienate people who already look down on me. i really do hate my life at this moment, because of me and because of the things i do and mostly because of the things i don't. i want you all to know this: DO EVERYTHING. most of you already do, as captain of some varsity all state team and 4 clubs and an active member in most everything else. you are all ivy bound. and thats fine. but by doing that, you're forgetting who you really are. yale seems attractive to everyone, even me to some degree, but is it really whats best for you? they have some good academic programs. they have some GREAT academic programs. whats your major? they have it. but look at the little school. look at the ones that are like super safties for you. i guess what i'm saying is that one of those schools almost certainly has a better program.
My other thing. this one i know is beyond a long shot. so i don't know why i'm even bothering. i mean this is more just so you know how i feel than that i expect you to do anything. because none of you ever will. i know it. but my point. college is the most important decision we have made so far in our lives. its going to shape the rest of our lives, or maybe even lack there of depending on how you look at it. but college choices should be made on an individual level. even choosing your final list, thats your business. its hard not to let at least your "range" out of the box, but i don't want to hear about your chances at ever single school you're applying to. i don't want to hear that your caftest safty is my reach. we all know its true. but here i am, speaking for the under 4.0 GPA minority. sure i'll tell you if you ask. and when i ask, you can tell me. but i think that many of you are "flaunting" (i know thats not spelled right, maybe thats the difference) your status. i think if we expect to make it through this year without killing each other, we should try NOT braggin about our college list at every turn. i have been belittled so very much because of this, and i really don't think i deserve it. the colleges i'm looking at are GOOD schools. people go onto law, med and grad school from them. there are nothing wrong with these schools!! i wish everyone would stop making me feel like there is.
I may have just said too much. I may have bared my soul to be trod upon one more time. but i can deal this time, becuase for once i feel this strongly about something. who cares about the rest if you're unhappy with the main picture.
10-1-03
MARILYN: 7:11pm. I dunno what to talk about. just letting you know i'm alive i guess. i'm way far behind the college thing. i have math homework. and i have to finish my dad's birthday present (his birthday was yesterday). i need to shower. i made a total of $1158.23 at the grocery store job. i thought that was cool, even though i've already spent most of it on my extravagant lifestyle. i buy food. and gas. and that makes me poor, its very sad. though, it is the first of the month so i just got my allowance, WOO! so life is good again, now that i can buy gas, so i can attend school, so i can go to many years of college, so i can get a good job that i really enjoy doing and live happily ever after. ok so i'm gonna go and live the dream!