My Day In County General
Rated: R (For Language and sex references)
Top Ten ER Characters I would totally have sex with (In Order),,,
10. John Carter
9. Abby Lockhart
8. Amanda Lee
7. Lucy Knight
6. Luka Kovach
5. Carol Hathaway
4. Jing Mei
3. Elizabeth Corday
2. Kerry Weaver
1. Robert Romano
Monica: Oh My god…I can’t believe I’m really here!
Monica’s Friend Rocky: Just don’t go crazy, it’s not like County General is actually filled with the ER Characters.
[They step into the hospital in Chicago, they came all the way from Ohio to see this place, yes boring Cleveland Ohio] [Monica whips out her camera and starts taking pictures of everything]
Dr. Weaver: Some one tell that weirdo to stop taking pictures!
Rocky: Some one tell that bitch to shut up! [He looks over and sees that it’s actually Dr. Weaver] What the…[Monica turns but he steps in front of her and blocks her view]
Monica: What are you doing? Who was just yelling at me to stop taking pictures? I’ll totally bitch her out!
Rocky: Ever get the feeling we might have stumbled into a parallel universe?
Monica: Not really
Dr. Weaver: Either put the Camera away or I’ll have security escort you out of here. [Rocky is still blocking Monica so she can’t see who is talking]
Monica: Don’t I know that voice from somewhere?
Rocky: Remember when we talked about how to behave if you ever met Laura Innes?
Monica: Yeah…what does that have to do with anything? [Rocky side steps and Monica lays her eyes on Kerry Weaver she then screams]
Rocky: Don’t scream! That was rule number one…
Monica: Screw the rules! [She runs over to Weaver and licks her lips] Hey there…how you doing?
Dr. Weaver: Excuse me?
Monica: Um why do you have that crutch…I mean…you don’t really have a limp right?
Dr. Weaver: Excuse me?
Monica: Uh never mind, you must be shooting right now I get it, Can I have your autograph?
Dr. Weaver: What the hell for?
Monica: You’re Laura Innes, DUH.
Dr. Weaver: Who? I Know you aren’t comparing me with the slut from that lifetime movie…
Rocky: Wait a minute, [He walks over to them] So are you saying that you are really Kerry Weaver.
Dr. Weaver: Yes [Looking at them like they are crazy]
Monica: Oh MY GOD! We did stumble onto a parallel universe! Quick take a picture! [Monica shoves the Camera into Rocky’s hands and pulls Weaver into a kiss, and he takes a picture of that] [Weaver pulls back and slaps Monica]
Monica: Oh yeah baby!
Dr. Weaver: GET OUT OF HERE!
Rocky: Did she slip you the tongue?
Monica: A little
Dr. Weaver: I DID NOT!
Monica: Call me! [Rocky slaps himself in the forehead] Anyway, I’m actually here to see Luka I think I’m pregnant with his baby.
Rocky: WHAT?
Monica: Just play along [She whispers to him]
Dr. Weaver: That I can believe, I’ll go get him for you [She looks at Monica and Rocky really funny and then walks away]
Monica: SWEET!
Rocky: Why did you say that?
Monica: So we could meet some more of the County General staff! Duh! [She starts to walk around and then she sees Carter]
Carter: What’s with the camera?
Monica: OH MY GOD! [She grabs Carter and pulls him into a kiss and Rocky takes a picture]
Rocky: Why did you do that? I thought you hated him!
Carter: Do I know any of you people?
Monica: I do hate him but that doesn’t mean I don’t think he’s sexy.
Rocky: I hate to see what you are going to do to Romano
Monica: Oh My god…is he here? Oh god I hope he’s here! [pulls out a compact and starts to fix her hair in the mirror] Do you think he’ll go for a 20 year old?
Rocky: Well if I know Romano like I think I do…[Watches her put on some lipstick] Yeah probably.
Monica: YES!
Carter: Wait just a minute [He steps in between them] You want Romano?
Monica: Who doesn’t?
Carter: Um…everyone who works here…
Monica: Well then I don’t have any competition, hey is Corday here?
Carter: Yes…are you going to kiss her too?
Monica: Probably…
Rocky: Hey I have dibs on Corday
Monica: Fine, fine just give me the camera so I can take your picture
Carter: What the hell is wrong with you people?
Monica: Are you secretly Batman?
Carter: WHAT?
Monica: And for crying out loud make the Carbies happy and dump Kem.
Carter: Carbies? What the hell is a Carby?
Rocky: She’s delusional…don’t pay any attention to her…
Monica: A Carby is a person who wants you and Abby to get it on, don’t you have the internet?
Carter: Yes and I’ve never heard of a Carby
Rocky: This is a parallel universe remember? He doesn’t know about the Carbies.
Monica: Well then, I’m glad I informed him.
Carter: Right, I have people to see
Monica: DO ABBY! FUCK HER BRAINS OUT!
Abby: What?
Monica: Oh god…[Rolls her eyes] Of all the people I didn’t want to see here…[Holds the Camera out to Rocky and pulls Abby into a kiss, he snaps a picture of them and then gives the Camera back, Abby slaps Monica]
Rocky: Nice to meet you
Abby: Who are you?
Monica: It doesn’t matter, we don’t like you.
Abby: What?
Rocky: Pardon her, she forgot to take her medication today
Monica: I heard that…[Turns her head] Uh oh, here comes Weaver and Luka
Luka: I’ve never seen you before in my life!
Weaver: She said she’s pregnant with your child
Monica: That’s crazy! I’m such a lesbian
Rocky: She really is.
Weaver: That would explain the kiss
Monica: Is Romano here?
Weaver: I think I’m going to have to ask you to leave…
Monica: Just let me see Romano and I’ll die a happy woman
Luka: Aren’t you a lesbian?
Monica: Romano is so sexy I would have sex with him anyway.
Rocky: Weird huh?
Weaver: It’s a little more then weird…
Monica: Oh shut up, you were married once remember?
Weaver: How did you know that?
Monica: Oh yeah and I’m sorry about Sandy but she was a bitch
Weaver: WHAT?! [Luka holds her back so she won’t totally kick Monica’s ass]
Monica: You totally should have stayed with Kim…but don’t worry In the spoilers I read that you get Henry back
Weaver: I’LL KILL YOU! [She pauses] I get Henry back?
Monica: Yep
Rocky: That’s not what the spoilers s…[Monica elbows him in the stomach] OOF
Weaver: I didn’t like Sandy too much anyway she sucked [All of the staff looks at Weaver like she’s crazy] What? Do I have something in my teeth?
Romano: Alight Kerry you have three seconds to give me those reports or I’ll…[He pauses and looks at Monica] Hey there…how you doing?
Monica: How you doing? [They jump on each other and start making out]
Weaver: That was one hell of an odd pickup line. [Rocky takes pictures of them making out]
Rocky: Is Dr. Corday here?
Corday: Yes right here [She steps up to him] Do I even know you?
Rocky: How you doing? [He pulls her into a kiss and Monica stops making out with Romano just long enough to take a picture of them] [Corday slaps Rocky]
Rocky: I’ll never wash my face or lips again
Corday: EWWW
Rocky: Of course I’ll wash it if you go out with me…
Corday: Why the hell not, it’s not like I’m tied down to anyone
Rocky: Sweet.
The End…Or Is it?