Not all Tears are Evil
"You have benn baptized by blood now, as we all are, the first los of innocence...... but do not fear, for not all tears are evil... It is not shamful to cry... It takes a far strounger man to let one see his tears, than to hid them deep inside." I touched my young page's shoulder gently, "Stand tall now, do not kneel down before this stone any longer. It is not shamful to cry at the death of your parents, but do not lull yourself into a depression so deep that you can nolonger see."
He stood befor me and looked into my eyes,"You are wise, master. Thanak you for alowing me a moment to mourn. But you are right, we should not linger, whail we must go. Valeron still lurks."
I took Eldar's hands in mine and spoak softly, "It is a great loss to the order, the death of your parents shall be felt by many. And as you know your father was my master when I was a young Page. I think my pain will be close to yours. "
"Thank you, master," Eldar said looking away,"I will take my time to morn latter. Alistreena, Your words are kind, and you have helped me to find my focus once again. I shall not give into fear and doubt, master, I shall be stroung. I choos now not to waist all that you have tought me."
"You pleas me Eldar," I said relesing his hands, "We go to the council soon. It will be three days hard wriding from here."
"We should take time to pray before we leave, for we may not have anouther chance untill we reach the Temple."
"Yes, master."
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The two kneeled befor their camp-fire and artfually remover their swards. Alistreena had a butiflly etched Scimetar, covered in the runs of her formothers, and her faithful apprentice and servent had a well crafted long sward. Now on boath knees they offered their swards on open palms to the flams. Holding them in untill the heat of the blades began to burn their palms. Then they slowly bring their swards close to their chests.
Now Astreena spoak, "Our Lord Kord, God of Strength and Purity we ask you for strngth of mind and sperit, that you make us stroung of will so we do not fall to the hands of draknes on this task to withch we ride.
"Our Lord Kord, God of Strength and Purity we ask you for strngth of body, and blade so our dark enimy may never take us, even if we are defited.
"Our Lord Kord, God of Strength and Puritywe ask you for your blesswing as we go forth to the Councle of The Order of Richous Strength, to do good in your name."
Now boath spoak,"My Lord Kord, Bless me and Guid me, Teach me to be Good in all I do; give me the Strength of mind, soul, body, and blade that will let me do all good and justice in your name.
"Blessed may I be by your name."
Now boath stood and whispered privet prayers as they shiethed their swards.
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Eldar made all ready as he thought of the words to use to honor his parents memorie.
"Is all packed?" Astreena asked as she looked to her horses saddle.
"Yes, master," Eldar answered, "all is redy."
"Then we're off," Astreena said mounting her horse, and they raced off at top speed.
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They road fast and hard for three days, stopping only once a night to eat, seep, and let the horses rest.
Finally they arived at the temple of The Order of Richous Strength. Here they kneeled on the steps befor the anciend doors.
They where met at once by the temple guard,"State your names and purpous."
"My name is Astreena, I am a holly Knight of this order, and this is my apprentace and survent, Eldar, a page to this order. We come with eurgent news for the Councle of Elders."
The guard inconspicuasly looked them over, they boor the mark of the richous "I shall anonuce your arival to the Councal. Wait here."
"As you wish Richous Gardian of our Lodr Kord's Temple," Astreena answered still on bent knee.
The guard returned moments latter, "Stand and be embraced by our Lord's Might."
Astreena and Eldar stood. The guard embpaced each of them,"The councle awaits you."
The guard quickly ushered them throught the temple, and to the councle's discution room. "I present to you Astreena and Eldar," the gaurd said befor quickly leaving.
Astreena spoak, "I wish we could have met on happier turms, but I bring you news of Valron: He lives, he has escapped us, but not befor he slew Eldar's parents. I will let him speak of it."
Eldar took a step forward and spoak solomly, "My soul was full of woe as I lay there upon the ground tiyed and bound. Uslisly I lay there as I watch my parent's slaughter, at the hand of the most beautifual and angelic man I have ever layed my eyes on. But this man, this Demon, his beauty is stained forever now with the blood of my parents. He wood have gone to me next but Alistreena came to free me in time. Then we lept upon our fow, but he eluded us, and in my greef I was unable to follow. I went strait to digging their graves."
Eldar took a step back behind his master and spoak no more.
"Your sotry is grrave indeed," Master Danamiy said sympathetickly, "it pains us all, your parents where long members of this order, and much beloved by all in the order, and they even say Kord himself, blessed them."
Your words are kind, Master Danamoiy," Eldar bowed his head sightly as the greef took him. No!He thought to himself, this is not the time to greev.
"Masters," Astreena spoak again, "it is our belief that Valron has fled to the north. He has many friends in the kindome of Logress. The monachark, however, does not suport him. I do believe they will offer what help they can."
"This is the wise course of action," Master Migovar agreeded, "it is the descition of this council that you should leave for Logress, tomorrow morining. For now, Astreena, you should rest and orginize what supplys you need.
"Eldar, you should take the day for mourning. We do not wish to send you out so distrought."
"Thank you, Masters," Astreena and Eldar said in unison. They bowed slightly and turned and left the room.
Your words are kind, Master Danamoiy," Eldar bowed his head sightly as the greef took him. No!He thought to himself, this is not the time to greev.
"Masters," Astreena spoak again, "it is our belief that Valron has fled to the north. He has many friends in the kindome of Logress. The monachark, however, does not suport him. I do believe they will offer what help they can."
"This is the wise course of action," Master Migovar agreeded, "it is the descition of this council that you should leave for Logress, tomorrow morining. For now, Astreena, you should rest and orginize what supplys you need.
"Eldar, you should take the day for mourning. We do not wish to send you out so distrought."
"Thank you, Masters," Astreena and Eldar said in unison. They bowed slightly and turned and left the room.
"Master?" Eldar asked.
"Yes, my young apprentace?" she answered softly.
"Would you meditate with me?" he asked a bit embarassed, "I've been having trouble concentrating...I..."
"Yes, of course," Astreena answered, "I will help you Eldar."
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The two sat on the floor in a bare quiet room. The room had only two beds, a table with two chairs, writing supplys, and a fireplace.
The two sat on bent knees, breethed deeply.
Astreena spoak in a soft warm voice, "Breath deep. Clear your mind, empty your soul, become one with the power of Kord, embrace him wholly. Clear you mind, there is nothing, nothing but the life-force of Kord. Be soly for Kord, not for me, not for this moment, not for your parent's sperits, be only for Kord."
Eldar followed Astreena's breathing patturn, it was very familyer to him, he'd been tought the calming breath when he was first taken to the tymple. Three years old, he thinks... maby younger.
Eldar whispered so softly that Astreena besid him could not make out the words, though she guesed what he said, "There is nothing but Kord's life-force; I am nothing without Kord. The will of Kord is my future and my life. I live only for Kords's will."
After a long period of silent meditation Eldar broak the silence, "Thank you, my master; your presance here has helped to calm my soul."
"I'm glad to have been such a help to you, my young Page,"Astreena said with a happy lightness to her voice, "I am glad you can have a relative peace in your heart. Do not try to end you pain prematurly though, for repression of emotion leads to anger, and anger leads to fear, and fear leads to darkness and lonlyness. So you my young apprentace, take all the time you need to put this behind you."
"Now you should take time for your thoughts," Astreena said rising to her feet, "I must go and make all arangments for our mition. It's at least three weeks, weather permiting, ride to Logress. And for such a long ride we can not ride as hard as we have the last few days or the horses will mutany."
Boath stiffled a supressed laugh, and Astreena ruffled his hair before she left the room.
Good, he can laugh, Astreena thought, even if it is only a fake laugh, he is healing well.
Eldar sat alone on the floor trying to quell his racing mind's ferocity.
---Suddently Eldar felt alone, very alone. Not even the thought of his master's kind words could calm his heart.
"Master!" he whispered with a start, standing up quickly.
Astreena had felt Eldar's startled mind from the other room. She entered quickly to find Eldar standing, sweat dripping over his worried expression. She raced across the room to him, took him in her arms as if to protect him from some unknown menace. "My young Page, What has happened. I've never felt ..." her words trailed off, she couldn't explaine it, this bond. Astreena alwasy kenw when Eldar was it trouble or upset.
"Master, I... I, I don't know. I just was so lonly, so afraid..." Prefict, Eldar thought, fear, this is not good. And you admit it so freely.
Astreena did not speak, she was good at inturperting silences, and knew Eldar was working up the nerv to say more.
"Maste, I felt like... Like all the universe was slipping away from me. There was no one ells, no enimies, not even your memorie.... I was... so scard. There was nothing, not the earth, only some menacing evil, but even that, I wasn't shure it lived." Eldar trembaled terrably as he spoak.
Astreena could feel his paine, feel his fear... And when she tryed to go into his mind, into his soul to find it's sourse... When he touched this paine, this fear, it burned her, left scars. Who... No, what, could have done this. I can get into my Page's mind, but that is becaues of the special bond we shair... I've never known of any other circumstance...She searched her mind for anything she had ever known that was veaguly familuyr. Yes, I know people who can read thoughts, but few who could send messages or feelings. but they where always so vague. Whoever had gotten into Eldar's head has some strange powers...
"Master," Eldar whispered again, fear still etched his voice, "Do you know what... What was it? I... can still feel it its leaving now, reciding slowly. I think... I think it's afraid of you." Damn it Eldar! Think! His mind screamed, when did you first notice it was it when she was gone or... no I felt it comming even as my master was sending me her kindness. "Master it was here all along... I think it came after we finished meditating, somewhere around then. It waited, waited in a corner of my mind where I wouldn't notice. It waited for you to leave me." Smart, BASTARD, he thought to himself, I should have paied more attention.
Astreena was very disturbed at this new fact, it waited for me to go, waited for him to be vonarbul? She let no sign of her disrubance show in her appearance. Eldar needs me stroung now. She tightened her grip on Eldar, "I will let no harm come to you; my young apprentance, my beloved Page. I will keep you safe. You have to trust that Eldar, hopless as you feel."
Eldar spoak, his words still shacky, "I trust you master. I trust you Astreena, with my life and with my death. I... I'm just so scard. I've never... such power... More powerful than I, more than you, more even than Master Migovar..." How can that be? I've never been in the presance of power more than Master Migovar... But this thing, this presance, it had an aswome, uncomprehensibul power.
"You have told me all you know, Eldar; do not dwell on this terrebul experiance. Eldar I know it is hard, but now you must be stroung. Let us hope this evil presance never returns, but you must be prepaired if it does. Is it gone? Or still hidding in a corner of your mind?"
Eldar thought for a moment searching every corner of his mind, No, it is gone at last, "No master, it is gone, but I feel it still."
"I know... It will be along time before the burn on your mind goes away," Astreena loosened her grip on Eldar so she could look him in the face. I wish I could offer you more comfurt, but I'd rather leave you frightened by what I don't know than tell you a liy that could put you in more danger.
Slowly astreena released her grip on Eldar, "We should tell The Councle."
"Yes," Eldar agreed, "Just promis you will not leave my side. I fear... I fear it will come back..." Eldar looked at his boots, what shame... I feel like a baby... so afraid.
"Eldar," Astreena spoak with soft suthing tones, "I will not leave your side untill we have resolved this evil.
Astreena wanted to chastise Eldar for his feeling of shame, No shame in it, she thought. But she held it back, Eldar did not need this now... My disaproval would distroy him. He was so vernabul... I've never seen him so openly hurt, it scars me.
"Eldar," Astreena whispered softly, "will you be ok if we go to The Councle now?"
"Yes Master, I am ready to speak with the councle," Eldar's speach was still labored, "It seems vitally important to tell them."
"Then we should go now, I trust your instinct," Astreena led Eldar slowly out of the room, not shure how well he'd be able to walk.
As they walked down the coradors, Eldar, slowly moved to his normal walking position, two steps behind and one step to the right of his master. He felt safe, as if his master's presance shielded him from all harm. Astreena wished to reach out to her young Page, and hold him close, but she knew it would be inapropriat... She knew that it would only embaras him.
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Astreena and Eldar walked into the Councle's Discuttion Room unanounced.
"Masters," Astreena said, and all turned to her.
Master Danamoiy stood outraged, "What is the meaning of this intrution? And you sit in our presance, youg Page!"
Eldar had assumed the meditating position, kneeling on boath knees, arms folded, head bowed. Eldar felt the heavy weight of this evil, even in it's absence.
Astreena moved quickly befor the councle. I will not let that poor child take the blame for this. "Masters," she spoak with an air of athoritiy she didn't really command, "you must exscuse Eldar, he has been through somthing terrabul... Eldar, are you ok to speak?"
"Yes, master..." his words trailed off, just thinking about it burned his soul.
"Masters, please forgive my rudness... It's so painful to bring it back," Eldar sighed, "I felt it first when My master went with me to help me pray. I should have paied more attention to it, but I didn't... It hid, this menace, it hid in a corner of my mind where I would pay it no mind. And there it liy in wait, hiding untill my master left me to my thoughts...." Eldar pused a moment. Why must I recall it. This infernal damnation.
"When it came it was like all the universe was slipping away from me. There was no one ells, no enimies, not even the memorie of my Master.... I was... so scard. There was nothing, not the earth, only this menacing eveil, but even that, I wasn't shure it lived. It had such great power... More even than you Master Danamiy."
All eyebows raised as Eldar continued, "I know not what it was, only that it overwhelmed and overpowered me. And it was evil... The moast evil I've ever felt concentratied in one spot. The moast I've ever felt..." Eldar's words ended in a whisper and he spoak no more. Eldar could bairly breath, the pain seared his mind.
All where silent for a long time...................
Finally Master Danamiy spoak, "Please, except my apologies, Eldar. I did not realize your distress. As for this presance, we have no way to know what it is and we have no way to track it. So, it is the destion of this councle that you continue as planned, but take extra caution. Because of this, Master Misellion and his page Rygar shall acompany you on this jurney.
"Thank you Masters," Astreena said bowing her head slightly, "I request that Eldar and I leave now, he needs his rest."
"Yes we agree. Go with peace, and my Kord bless you with the strength to come out of this challenge with all wholness."
"Thank you Masters," Astreena said as Eldar came to his feet, "May the Strength of Kord bless you." Eldar and Astreena bowed their heads and left.
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Astreena and Eldar sat at the small table in their room. Thye sat silent and still, contemplating recent events.
Shortly a temple guard came. He knocked on the door three times and opened it, "I present to you Master Misellion and his page Rygar." Then he left quickly.
"Welcome," Astreena and Eldar said in unison. The four of them embraced breefly, then sat upon the floor.
"I wish you strength and prosperity," Master Misellion adressed Eldar.
"I thank you, Master Misellion," Eldar answered politly.
"Rygar, my young apprentace," Misellion said, "Make all preprations for tomorrows departure. Be shure to get two pack horses and enough supplys for at lest two weeks, more if you are aloud."
"Yes Master," the boy said obediently, he turned to face them and bowded his head befor exiting the room.
"Your news of late," Misellion said when he was shure his page was out of hearing range, "brings me great fear. Such things, I have never heard of." He looked from Eldar to Astreena, and back to Eldar.
"It is unwise, however, to dwell on such thigs, when they are so unclear. Let us hope that with time... Our Lord Kord will reveal to us a defence against this evil."
"You are correct," Astreena agreeded, "there is no point in dwelling on things witch we can not affect."
"Thank you Masters, your words are kind and reashuring, but I am exausted. If you will alow Master, I woudl like to meditate and go to bed."
"Yes of course," Astreena answered him, "we shall speak with you tomorrow, Misellion. May Kord bless you with his strength."
"Goodnight, and may Kord bless you with strength," Misellion bowed his head and then left, closing the door quietly behind him.
Astreena and Eldar took the meditation position: kneeling, boath knees on the floor, arms folded, and heds bowed.
"Master?" Eldar asked.
"Yes, my young page?" Astreena inquired.
"Can we have silent meditation tonight?"
"Yes, my young Page, I know you have much on your mind," Astreena said aprovingly, "we will have silent meditation tonight."
After twenty minouts of silent prayer Astreena and Eldar said in unison, "My Lord Kord, Bless me and Guid me, Teach me to be Good in all I do; give me the Strength of mind, soul, body, and blade that will let me do all good and justice in your name."
Then they said simple good-nights, and Astreena triyed to reashur Eldar, that it was not to dark. Then they went into an uneasy sleep.
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Two hours after dawn Astreena and Eldar awoak, as always, and they whent to the fresher, toliteries and fresh cloths on hand. Eldar was mindful to keep close to his mater, and Astreena was very awair of this, but tried to act as if she didn't notice.
Eldar must still be shacken, he follows me like a new Page fresh from the temple, Astreena walked briskly to the fresher. I musen't let him think I can tell.
A few short minouts latter they where in the fresher. Here they baithed, in the "public" temple pools (one for men; one for women). As they steped out of the pools Astreena chanced her question, "So, Eldar, how are you feeling today?"
"It's amaizing, Master," he answered faining glee, "what a hot bath and clean cloths can do for your sperit."
Astreena laughed openly, "Yes, I know... It can feel at times that you wash away the grime from your soul as the dirt falls off your body."
Eldar returned her laugh as he brushed his teeth. They boath woar simple tunicks and breechers that tiyed up the frount, and abelt about the waist over the tunick. He pulled his shoulder length hair back in a 1/2 poneytail and tiyed it in a knot.
"Master, when are we to leave?"
"We are to leave in three hours. Just after morning meditation and breakfast."
After they frinished in the fresher, Astreena and Eldar maid their way back to their room for morning meditation.
Kneeling on the floor Astreena spoak, "Our Lord Kord, God of Strength and Purity we ask you for strngth of mind and sperit, that you make us stroung of will so we do not fall to the hands of draknes on this task to withch we ride.
"Our Lord Kord, God of Strength and Purity we ask you for strngth of body, and blade so our dark enimy may never take us, even if we are defited.
"Our Lord Kord, God of Strength and Puritywe ask you for your blesswing as we go forth to the Councle of The Order of Richous Strength, to do good in your name."
Now boath spoak,"My Lord Kord, Bless me and Guid me, Teach me to be Good in all I do; give me the Strength of mind, soul, body, and blade that will let me do all good and justice in your name.
"Blessed may I be by your name."
Now boath sat in silent meditation. Severial minouts latter, boath stood.
"We have time this morning," Astreena said, "for a little sparing. Eldar get the training swards."
"Yes Master," Eldar said rushing off to a corner of the room. The training swards where exact replica's of their swards, save that they where only blunt edged and undecoraited.
Eldar handed Astreena her training sward. The two bowed their heads and took the ready stance.
Astreena spoak concicly, "I want to teach you a few new disarming techneeks. Go several steps back and come at me as you would at a full cahrge, but come slow, at a walking pace, so you can see what I do." ... The lesson went on for an hour ...
Astreena and Eldar now walked tward the cmmon room. Eldar was very much looking forward to breakfast. He had been too upset to eat last night, and he certinly hadn't expected a work-out befor breakfast this morning.
Eldar sat besid his master gulping down his breakfast, he payed no mind to the distastful glances from the others in the common room.
Astreena sighrd with dissa proval, Eldar!, I know you mised dinner, but show some restraint. She placed her hand on his shoulder and whispered, "Eldar, you act as if I never feed you."
Eldar flushed a bright shade of crimson, and pased a long moment befor he continued eating, slowly.
"For give me master, I forget my place."
"It's quite alright, my young apprentace," Astreena said with a kind smile, "just remember to be respectful, especially in the temple."
Eldar bowed his head slightly, still mortifiyed, "Yes master."
Misellion had whitnessed Eldar's little embarasment, and he stayed off by the food bar with his page, untill he had recovered a bit.
"Good morning Astreeena, Eldar," Misellion said taking a seat at their table.
Rydar bowed his head slightly, "Good morning," he said and sat besid his master.
"How fair you this morning, Astreena?" Misellion asked with a brightness in his voice that brought a little ease to Eldar.
"We fair well," Astreena answered, There
To be continued...