Remember when a guy named "Bush" ran the country? His sidekick, Dan Quayle, commented on the then popular television show Murphy Brown, saying the show represented poor family values because the lead character decided to raise a child out of wedlock. His comments outraged many, but opened our eyes to the reality we still live with - our government does not understand what a real family is. In their eyes, a family consists of a husband and wife that occupy and populate their household with 2.5 children. Cudos if the wife stays home to raise the children and extra points if you vote Republican. Time for a REALITY CHECK. This thought process worked well in the '50's, before society grew ahead of government expectations. Eventually they'll catch up. In the interim, we offer this new definition of family as it relates to the new Millennium:
Since your entire family may consist of 20 foster children and a cat --> to a single parent raising three children --> to a grandmother raising her great-grandchildren --> to an alcoholic raising a ferret --> to a couple (hetero or homosexual) raising 2.5 children in the 'burbs, all are families, all live, learn and love together, and all want what's best for our children --> this definition applies to everyone trying to succeed in the new Millennium. No matter how you slice it - we're all family.
What about your biological family?
Often times we take our biological family for granted. I know that over the years I've personally asked the world of my family, as I just expected they would comply. I mean, we're all family, right? In reality, your biological family can be a part of your real family if they share life experiences, learn, grow and sacrafice for each other.
Sometimes we're ripped away from our biological family without our knowledge or consent, and sometimes this process gets lost in the melee of work, raising children, and the enormous amount of just plain bullshit it takes to make a living. In the latter instance, the breakdown is sequential - and often times deliberate. It goes like this:
First the family only meets for holidays and special occaisions. Next, the weekly phone calls to share life experiences become bi-monthly and then monthly calls. Soon after, you're not invited to certain special occasions, like your niece or nephew's birthday party, and before you know it, biological family members are mere ships that pass in the night. The conversation eventually becomes only small talk and voilla --> the breakdown occurs. Large families that live moments apart become strangers until Thanksgiving or winter holidays come around.
This breakdown is sometimes deliberate in that either family member can choose to sacrafice to keep in touch and stay close, but most do not. The overwhelming demands of raising a family ultimately win out, and biological family members are seen as overwhelming burdens, especially if they have troubles. It's often easier to relegate them to small talk and the "yearly party" just to make life easier.
Enter the new people you meet and bring into your life. People that you share similar experiences with, lean on, help out and receive help from. These people become your new family as described in our previous definition.
Eventually the government will figure this out, but not before the new Millennium begins. So come back real soon for articles that relate to living and raising your family in the new Millennium.