Sometime later. Spike is walking down a city street, smoking a cigarette. It’s dark. He doesn’t seem particularly purposeful—more like a leisurely stroll. He peers in some of the shop windows, but most everything is closed. After walking down a couple of streets, he starts to look a bit irritated and dives into a phone booth. He flips through the yellow pages until he finds what he’s looking for and rips the page out. He finishes his cigarette, drops and steps on the butt and heads off, after glancing again at the page. We see him arrive at the corner he’s looking for only to find the shop closed. Just as he is lighting up again, he notices a lit doorway up the street—he heads towards it. As he gets closer he sees that it’s a record shop.
Spike: [to himself] “Got a bit of time to kill.”
He strolls inside. It’s small, but packed full of CD’s. The room is long and thin, with a booth at the front with the cash register. There’s no one in the shop, except a sales girl behind the counter who is flipping the pages of a magazine. She’s cute—young, maybe 19. She looks the sort who would work in a record shop—she has a ‘modern goth’ look to her. Her hair is brown, but she’s dyed some of the tips blue—her ears are pierced multiple times and she’s wearing a diversity of rings and jewelry. Spike doesn’t look at the girl, but heads straight back for the record stacks. Without noticeably looking up from her magazine, she watches him. He browses for a while, casually. After a few minutes, the girl steps out from behind the counter and walks towards him.
Shop Girl: [in a Scottish accent (no, I’m not going to try to write it that way)] “Can I help you find something?”
Spike: [He gives her a quick once-over before responding.] “Yeah, maybe. There’s this song I’m trying to find. Don’t know the name. Don’t know who sings it. Don’t know how old it is.”
Shop Girl: “You English?”
Spike: “That a problem?”
Shop Girl: [shaking her head] “My boyfriend’s English.”
Spike: “Good for him.”
Shop Girl: “Makes my dad crazy—lots a people ‘round here get pissy about the English. All seems a bit silly to me.”
Spike: “Uh, you think you can help me with the song, or do you just work here?’
Shop Girl: “Right. I know most of what we got here in the shop. You gonna sing it for me, or what?”
Spike: [smiles] “Sorry, I’m much too sober to sing. The bird who sings it s’got a very distinctive voice—loud and wailing, sort of. The chorus is something about “violently happy”."
Shop Girl: [Thinks about it for a moment and then, finishing the chorus] “...because I love you. Yeah, I know it. Bjork. [she starts to walk over to look for the CD] Wouldn’t’ve thought you’d be shy about singing—thought maybe you were in a band or something from the look of you.”
Spike: “I like to listen.”
Shop Girl: [handing him the CD] “It’s a good song.”
Spike: “Don’t really remember it much—heard it once in a club. My girlfriend liked it. We just got back together, so thought I’d pick up a copy.” [Thinks to himself: Why did I just say that?]
Shop Girl: “That’s brilliant. S’good to be romantic—get more action that way, dontcha?”
Spike: [smiles] “I do OK.”
Shop Girl: “No doubt.”
Spike: “So does it work for you?”
Shop Girl: “Hm, I don’t need a reason. He’s pretty sweet, though—my Jim. Got him a present when I was on holiday.”
Spike: “Did he give you a good seeing to after?”
Shop Girl: “Haven’t given ‘him yet. Just got back last night. Think he’ll like it?” [She flashes her new tongue piercing, suggestively.]
Spike: “Depends on what you plan on doing with it.”
Shop Girl: “Supposed to be good for certain things. [She lets her eyes flash downwards] Ever tried it?”
Spike: “Not yet. [Then, deciding to scale back the flirtation a bit.] Do I have to buy the whole CD, or do you have the single?”
Shop Girl: “Don’t have the single—you can listen to the rest if you like back in the corner there. You might like it.”
He walks to the back of the store where there is a listening station. He fumbles with it for a bit, but can’t get it to work. He waves her over and she pushes in a code to get it working.
Shop Girl: [handing him a couple of other CDs] “I brought a couple of others—new stuff you might like if you want to take a listen.”
Spike: “Quiet night?”
Shop Girl: [laughs] “You’re the first customer I’ve had. No one’s out.”
Spike: “Yeah, it seemed sort of deserted.”
Shop Girl: “Heard something about gangs come up from London causing trouble—thrown the city into a bit of a tizzy. Most of the shops close after dark—I need the money, so I came in anyway. Slowest work day of my life—Jim’s comin’ to pick me up at 11.”
Spike: [taking the CDs] “I’ve got no place to be—I’ll give ‘em a listen.”
She hangs in the back with him for a bit—giving him some trivia on various bands and things. They chat and laugh a bit. In a few minutes, just as she starts to wander up to the front of the store, a group of four guys come in the front—they have the look of gang members. They start throwing stuff around and making a mess. She comes tearing up to the front, yelling at them. She threatens to call the police. They continue to grab what they want, ignoring her for the moment. One of them pushes her roughly into one of the display cases, causing it to fall over with a big crash.
Shop Girl: [suddenly afraid] “Go ahead and take what’s in the till and then sod off.”
Gang guy (GG#1): “Money’s not what we’re after, ya’ silly bint.” [He walks towards her, menacingly.]
Hearing the crash, Spike shuts off his headphones and notices what’s happening at the front of the shop. He hesitates for a moment—he could just pocket the CDs and push off. It’s not his business anyway. Then he shrugs, takes off the headphones, shoves the CD in his pocket and strolls up to the front of the store just as the GG is cornering the shop girl.
Spike: “Dibs.”
They all turn to look at him.
GG#1: “What?”
Spike: “Dibs. I was here first, I got dibs on ‘er”
GG#1: “You can’t just call ‘dibs’ like that. [turning to the others] Can he?”
GG#2: “Nah, man. She’s ours.”
GG#3: “Yeah, you left her alone at the front of the shop—finder’s keepers.”
Spike: “I was just taking my time. Don’t you newbie nitwits know how to savor a kill?” [Thinking to himself—god, I sound like bloody Angelus.]
At this, SG looks over at S in shock and then darts behind the counter to hide.
GG#1: “And who the hell do you think you are, mate, talking to us like that?”
Spike: “Someone who’s quite ready to dust the lot of you if you don’t run along home to your nancy-boy sire, whoever he or she may be. It’s rather obvious that none of you lot are heading up the local “gang”. [He makes the quotation marks with his hands in a particularly condescending way] And while your at it, be sure to tell him or her that William the Bloody’s in town and they’d better take care to stay out of my way.”
GG#2: [mocking] “oooh, I’m pissin’ my pants in fear, William.”
Spike: “Geez, you leave Europe for a few years and suddenly you’re a nobody again. Lucky for me, this is the part I like best.”
With that, he punches the one closest to him hard enough to send him flying across the room. Soon, he’s beating the crap out of the four of them (they’re all in vamp face now). They get a few punches in and it’s not easy, but he manages to dust three out of the four and then pummels the last one a while before kicking him out the door. As he does so he adds...
Spike: “And for future reference, I tend to get cranky when idiots like you use my given name, so if you want your head to continue to be attached to your body, call me Spike.”
The vamp practically crawls out the door and then limps away. Spike wipes the blood from his mouth and changes back to his human face. He looks around and the trashed shop and can’t help but smile a bit. Then he sees the shop girl peek up from behind the counter, timidly.
Spike: “It’s Ok, they’re gone.”
She stands up slowly, looking terrified. She’s starting to cry and her black mascara is running down her cheek. She wipes it off with her hand and tries to get a hold of herself. He’s walked over to where she’s standing.
Shop Girl: [voice shaking] “Listen, I’ll do anything you want. The thing is, my boyfriend needs me. He’s a bit of a mess and he’d go off his head if anything happened to me. Please, can you just take what you want without killing me? [trying to look seductive] I’d make it worth your while. Promise.”
Spike: [Perplexed for a moment. Then tempted—I wonder what that little bob on her tongue would feel like. Shaking it off—Nah.] “Oh, right—that was all show. Tried to get the wankers to just shove off without trashing the place. Suppose you’ll be out of a job for a bit ‘till they fix the place up again—hope your boss has insurance.”
Shop Girl: “You’re not going to kill me, then?”
Spike: “Nah—not my thing anymore.”
She is so relieved that she flops back down on the floor (sitting) and catches her breath a moment.
Spike: “You Ok? Think you might be bleeding a bit somewhere.”
She looks up at him and then gets to her knees and moves toward him, reaching her hand out for his belt buckle.
Spike: [a bit surprised, steps back] “No need for that, love. Tempting, I’ll admit, but uh, save it for your boyfriend. I’m not going to kill you, full stop—never was.”
Sitting back on her ankles, she takes a deep breath and smiles.
Shop Girl: “You saved me, then.”
Spike: “Yeah, well, don’t make a big thing about it—didn’t have anything better to do.”
She gets to her feet and hugs him—he’s a bit taken aback.
Shop Girl: “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” [She kisses him on the cheek repeatedly.]
Spike: “Ok, this would be making a big thing.” [He gently pushes her back.] “I think it’s probably time to close up shop for the night. You live nearby?”
Shop Girl: [sniffling] “I stay with my gran when I’m working. It’s just about a mile across town.”
Spike: “I’d better walk you home—those four weren’t the end of it.”
Shop Girl: “What about Jim?”
Spike: “Leave ‘im a note.”
She nods and gathers her things. They leave and she locks the door behind her and leaves a little note taped to the door.
Shop Girl: “So are you...uh...they, vampires?”
Spike: “Good guess for a first try—spot on.”
Shop Girl: “There’ve been stories floating about—everyone says it’s bollocks—just kids dressing up, trying to be scary. A gang initiation thing.”
Spike: “They aren’t just kids. Best to stay inside after dark ‘til things calm down.”
Shop Girl: “But if you’re a vampire, why did you fight them?”
Spike: [shrugs—a bit defensive] “It’s not a club—we’re not all pals and best friends.”
Shop Girl: “Oh.”
You can tell she wants to ask more questions, but his demeanor convinces her not to push it. They walk in silence for a while. They get to her apartment building—he walks her to her door. Just as she’s opening it, he says.
Spike: “One more thing. This is very important. Don’t invite any strangers in to your flat. Ever.”
Shop Girl: “Hey Gran, I’m home—I’ve brought a friend with me.”
Gran: “Come in, come in.”
Spike: [shaking his head] “No, that’s what I mean. Don’t do that. Even if you think you know them.” [to himself: it’s amazing there’s any of ‘em left.]
Shop Girl: [dismissive] “Alright, alright. The only one we’ll be expecting is Jim anyway tonight. No one else comes in.” [He nods.]
Spike: “I’m off, then.”
Shop Girl: “No, wait. Gran, this man saved my life tonight.”
Gran: “Oh, bless. [suddenly animated, waving him in] Break out the sherry—we must drink to that.”
Spike: [to SG, annoyed] “I thought we’d covered this.” [But he’s kind of liking the attention—that bothers him more than anything.]
30 minutes or so later, we see Spike leave—he’s got a shopping bag. Once she found out he was headed to the shops (he’d tried using that as an excuse to leave), the old lady made sure he took every bit of food she had in the house. Whatever—will save him futzing about looking for a convenience store. About half way back the hotel, he realizes that he’s missing his lighter. Must have fallen out during the fight. He goes back to the shop, breaks open the door and quickly finds it. He gets a few steps away and he sees someone step up to the shop and pull off the note attached to the door. He stops—he can sense it’s another vampire. He sighs, puts the bag down and walks toward the vamp—he grabs the hand holding the note.
Spike: “I don’t think that belongs to you. What’re you, five minutes old?”
Vamp: “Back off, blondie. It is for me, see?” [with that, he pulls out an ID card.] “Yep, me and Shelly are gonna have ourselves a good time tonight—‘least I know I will.” [manic laugh]
Spike looks a little sad as he watches the vamp/Jim walk away. He reaches into the rubble of the shop and pulls out a piece of wood.
Spike: “Sorry, mate. Not gonna let that happen.”
He comes up behind and dusts him. He tosses the piece of wood to the side and then lights a cigarette.
Spike: “Waste of a perfectly good tongue piercing.”
He strolls over and picks up the bag of goodies and heads back down the street towards the hotel.
**
Back at the hotel (Scotland)
Miranda is up and pacing the room. She managed to order some room service and so has a bit more energy. She looks worried. She hears the key in the lock and lights up. It’s Spike. As soon as he appears in the door, she runs up to him and jumps on him, wrapping her legs and arms around him.
Miranda: [manic stream of consciousness] “You came back! I was so sure you were going to leave me. I woke up and you hadn’t done what I’d asked—naughty boy—and then I waited and waited and saw the money was gone and I started to think that you’d decided to leave me and get your revenge, which would be totally justified, of course. But then I talked myself out of it and couldn’t decide whether to shower in preparation for the make-up sex or if I should wait so we could shower together and then I decided to wait, but then I kept thinking you might not come back and I’d be waiting and waiting and I’d be like Miss Havisham, except instead of a rotting wedding dress, I’d just get smellier and smellier until they threw me out of the hotel and...I’m just so glad you came back.” [She’s kissing his face.]
Spike: [laughing] “You been drinking coffee again? Watch the champagne bottles.” [In one of the bags he’s holding.]
Miranda: [getting down] “Right. Sorry. [eyes brighten] You got champagne?”
Spike: [duh] “Now how would we have a sexathon without champagne?”
Miranda: “What’ve you been doing? Besides buying me goodies.”
Spike: [Pause while he considers whether or not to tell her about the shop girl. Shrugs.] “Whooping it up, just like you said.”
She smiles broadly and hugs him again.
**
Many hours later. Empty bottles and half-filled glasses everywhere, along with food of various kinds scattered about. Some chairs are knocked over. Pan to the bed, where Miranda is naked under a sheet. She’s got the remote control for the TV in one hand and is sleepily flipping through the channels—she’s looking very satisfied. Spike comes in from the bathroom, naked, holding a piece of fabric.
Spike: “I think I got most of the blood out of the curtain—don’t see why it matters.”
Miranda: “I’d like to be able to stay in this hotel again someday.”
Spike slips under the sheet next to her and spoons her from behind. He runs his hands over her shoulder and down her arm, nibbling on her neck. She laughs.
Miranda: “That tickles.”
Spike: “Do we still have ice?”
Miranda: “Yeah, in the champagne bucket. Why?”
Spike: “Just like to be familiar with all my options.”
Miranda: “OH MY GOD.”
Spike: “What?”
Miranda: “That can’t possibly be what I think it is. [Spike just nestles up tighter and smiles a very naughty little smile] Tell me you’ve brought a banana into the bed.”
Spike: [he purrs] “Just pleased to see you, love”
Miranda: “It’s not possible. I simply do not understand vampire circulation. Where does it all come from?”
Spike: “I’ve been saving it up”
Miranda: “I seem to remember your mentioning something about leaving quite a lot of it in Rio.”
Spike: “Maybe I exaggerated just a tad.”
Miranda: “Well, the answer is no. Absolutely not. I thought we were going to watch the Vicar of Dibley.”
Spike: “Come on, pet. Just once more.”
Miranda: “Spike, my parts are about ready to pack up and leave town—they have been pummeled from every conceivable angle. The room smells like a brothel. [Flash to her remembering all their naughty deeds in the room—in the chair, over the couch, in the closet, on the coffee table. Ooh, and lets not forget the shower.] It’s going to take a couple of hours before I can even take a wee without having to have a drink first to ease the pain. No, I’m sorry but my bits are done for the night.”
Spike: “I’m sore too, love, but we’re just so close to the record.”
Miranda: “There’s a record?”
Spike: “Well, I’m sure there must be and we’ve got to be near it. [She rolls her eyes.] And there are certain bits that have yet to be explored.” [As he says this, he runs his index finger down the center of her back, stopping just short of her butt cheeks.]
Miranda: [Weakening. She lets out a slight moan/sigh] “I suppose it’s not beyond the realm of possibility. For the record. Just take it easy, alright?”
Spike: [he smiles] “I won’t twist your arm too hard. [he whispers] Close your eyes.”
He pulls the sheet back, revealing her naked body. He runs his fingers over her birthmarks, tracing the outside edge. He leans in closer and does the same with his tongue—flicking it lightly across the bottom edge and out to the tip. He pulls back an inch or two.]
Spike: “Ever consider getting a tattoo there? They could make ‘em look more like real wings. Hang on a minute. [He reaches on the table for a black marker, which he then uses to draw on her back—she giggles at the touch of it. He draws two wings extending out from her birthmarks, complete with squiggles made to look like feathers] That’s better. ‘Course we’ll have to find a place for the ‘SPIKE’—maybe right here in the middle” [He writes his name between her shoulder blades—she laughs.]
He traces the rest of her spine with his fingers like before and again, follows his fingers with his tongue, occasionally stopping to plant kisses here and there. She lets out a pleased sigh. He stops just at her top of her ass. He reaches for something and then is back giving her his full attention. He pulls apart her butt cheeks slightly—just enough to allow the passage of his tongue. She inhales noticeably when he glides over her puckered entrance. He goes past and then works his tongue back in that direction. He puts one of his hands between her thighs, which she lifts slightly to accommodate. [They’re still spooning with her on the inside] He moves his hand up to her swollen lips and touches them softly—she lets out a concerned whimper.
Spike: “poor parts”
He shifts his hands and she gasps sharply as he pushes a piece of ice up against her inner lips. She tenses up and squirms.
Miranda: “too cold”
Spike: “Shhhh. Relax. It’s good”
She relaxes and he moves the quickly melting ice up towards her clit and back down to her opening, letting his fingers gently touch the sides. Soon the ice is gone, leaving his fingers to gently stroke her. His tongue is stroking her ass in time with his fingers. She starts to moan and breath more erratically. He lets his tongue move a bit further down to near where his fingers are and then pulls back a moment to speak.
Spike: “See, just takes the right touch. God I love the taste of your pussy when it’s wet. But its job is done.”
He moves back to her cheeks and pulls them apart again—this time he probes the entrance with his tongue, just pushing the tip in slightly. He pulls back again.
Spike: “That all right, love?”
Miranda: “Yeah—it feels good.”
He moves his fingers back to her now drenched pussy and once he’s coated them with her juices, brings them up to replace his tongue. He works just the tip of one finger into her hole and she whimpers slightly.
Spike: [he coos] “Just relax, love.”
She does and in a few moments, she starts moving against his finger—pushing it in deeper. This makes him moan, as he feels himself get even harder—he looks down to see his cock jerk—desperate for friction. Not yet—she has to be ready. He pulls his finger out of her and moves his hand back towards her clit to get more moisture—this makes her gasp. She quickly reaches down to stop his hands from retreating and presses his fingers to her as she grinds into them—it’s almost enough to make her come.
Spike: “Not too sore, then? Patience, love”
He pulls his hand from beneath her and still delicately pushes just the tips of both fingers into her ass. Same as before—she lets out and soft, muffled shriek, tensing slightly, but then relaxes and accepts them. After a few moments,
Miranda: “hmmmm...deeper.”
He obliges, pushing them in as far as they’ll go and then slowly pulling them out. Before he starts to slide them back in, she arches her back and pushes back against him, driving them deep inside. That is too much for him. He pulls his fingers out and kneels on the bed, pulling her hips up so she’s now on her hands and knees before him. He moves up behind her, sliding his aching dick between her legs, just sliding over the top of her wet center. She’s panting now. He reaches around with one hand and takes hold of her breast. With the other, he presses his cock against her lips and starts thrusting across the length of her. Each time his tip brushes past her clit, she moans with delight. He lets go of her breast and stands more up upright behind her as he continues to slide across the outside of her pussy, coating himself with her juices.
Miranda: “Oh, god Spike. You’re gonna make me come—you feel so good. Oh, fuck.”
She shrieks as she jerks beneath him, clenching the pillow tightly as her orgasm washes over her. When he’s sure she’s finished, he pulls back and with his hand laps up even more moisture from her and uses it to coat his tip.
Spike: “You ready?”
Miranda: “Yes, please baby.”
He snarls and puts one hand on her shoulder and uses the other to grip himself as pushes gently at the entrance to her ass. It takes every ounce of self-control he has to not slam into her, cause that’s what his body wants more than anything. Instead, he pushes in an inch at time, letting her relax in between and get used to his size (a bit bigger than two fingers. Ahem). Once he’s deep inside her ass, he checks with her again—he can tell from her breathing that it must hurt her a bit.
Spike: [now he’s breathless] “You alright?”
She takes a deep breath and in a somewhat hoarse voice responds “Uh-huh.” He slowly thrusts into her, feeling her relax a bit more with every stroke.
Spike: “It’s fucking fantastic. Uuhghhg.”
Soon she’s moaning with him, coaxing him on. He picks up the pace slightly, until he feels her start to tense. But the tightness is too much for him and he feels himself about to come. He can’t stop himself from ramming deep into her one time as he’s coming—she screams in pain (and pleasure). He echoes with is own loud wail. He pulls out slowly.
Spike: “Baby, every bit of you is more fuckable than the last. Christ.”
He flops down on his back and she moves over to rest her head on his chest.
Spike: “Sorry about that last bit—hope I didn’t hurt you too much.”
Miranda: “It’s like being a bloody virgin again—but in a good way.”
Spike: “And I’m spent.”
End smut.
End Part V