TITLE: Too Much Talking
AUTHOR: Mad ( marksandspence@yahoo.com )
SETTING: Buffy Season 6. Between Doublemeat Palace and Dead Things
RATING: soft NC-17
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters. They are exclusively the property of Mutant Enemy. Too bad, too, because boy did ME screw us all!
I wrote this back during Season 6 in response to a request from a friend. She wanted to see scenes in which 1) the scoobies found out about Spuffy 2) Angel found out about Spuffy and 3) Buffy tells Spike how she really feels about him. We were so UNBELIEVABLY naïve. It's almost embarrassing. Still, it's worth it for the shower scene at the end <grin>. Also, it was my first attempt at fanfic, so be kind....
*****
Scene: Buffy's house. Giggling/laughter intermixed with smooching sounds from her bedroom. Enter bedroom. Buffy & Spike naked, under the covers. They've been there a while.
Buffy: "Well, that was different. We managed to NOT break anything. And I think my clothes might even be completely intact. [noticing Spike's shredded shirt draped across the chair]. Oh, [guilty smile] can't exactly say the same for your shirt."
Spike: "Not really my color anyway." [Glancing at the chair...nuzzling her neck.]
Buffy: "I didn't even hit you once. I think I deserve a prize for that...[naughty smile]. Hey, what WAS with the lack of pre-jumping-of-bones-JackieChanage?"
Spike: "Oh, I don't know. [smirking] Maybe it was you saying "we can't break anything...you can't come over unless you PROMISE not to break anything. I MEAN it." about a million times before we got here."
Buffy: "oh THAT. [Awkward laugh].
Spike: "So where is everyone anyway? I assume you wouldn't have invited me over unless the house was cleared for the night."
Buffy: [a bit sheepish] "Dawn's staying at a friends and Willow's over at Xander and Anya's. She's been depressed about the whole no Tara and no magic thing, so they decided to have an all-night-mystery-science-theatre-fest to get her mind off things. Apparently, making fun of poorly costumed aliens and bad dialog can temporarily change your whole outlook on life--brings on the happy."
Spike: "How'd you get out of it?"
Buffy: "I told them I needed to patrol and have an early night; not sleeping well lately--grown-up/caretaker thing getting me down."
Spike: "Oh, so that's why you haven't been sleeping." [v. naughty, knowledgeable look]
Buffy: "hey" [hits him playfully]
Spike: "ha! You hit me...no prize for you, little lady."
Buffy: "no fair! I didn't hit you hard "
Spike: "I'm just going to let that one go. So, since fighting isn't an option, what do you say we do something a bit different?"
Buffy: [curious, but slightly worried look]. "And what sort of 'different' would that BE, exactly?"
Spike: "Hm. I have an idea, but I may need some props. What've you got in your fridge?"
Buffy: [concerned] "Why?"
Spike: "Not much for food myself, but I've heard there are other things one can use it for other than nutrition. Might be good for a laugh." [He gets up; starts to head out the door.]
Buffy: "Put something on, will you? Just take my robe or something."
Spike: "You really have a bit of a thing about nudity, don't you? We need to work on that...[seeing her expression] Alright. [putting her robe on; playfully 'tries' to look at himself in the mirror] Do you think this makes me look fat? Damn vampire thing, I can never tell." [Smirking, he walks out the door]
[Scene ends with a shot of Buffy smiling as she lays back with the sheet over her.]
**
[Spike is now in the kitchen, fishing through fridge; Suddenly, voices outside and the door swings open. It's Willow, Anya and Xander; They're chattering about some impending disaster/problem/doom.]
Xander: "Do we really need to bother Buffy with this right now? She sounded pretty tired and stressed on the phone earlier and she really seemed to want a little 'Buffy alone time' tonight."
Anya: "Yes, she really could use an orgasm."
Xander: "What?"
Anya: "I assumed that's what you meant by "alone-time". You know, personally I don't see why she needs to have the house empty do to it. I mean..."
Xander: "Hold it right there. What? I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."
Willow: "This is important! I'm not just over-reacting because I can't stand being in the presence of a happy couple. Am I? No, really, we need to tell Buffy."
Xander: "Got anything to drink? That movie popcorn sure sucks the juices out of a guy....I mean...sure makes a guy....anyone....thirsty...I'll just stop right there."
[They head to the kitchen; They see Spike in Buffy's robe, hiding behind the fridge door. He closes the door, surprised. Anya's eyes widen; Spike realizes the robe is open and quickly ties it.]
Xander: "Spike?!? What are you doing here...naked...in a woman's robe? Wait do I want to know the answer? Probably not, but somehow I can't stop myself from asking."
[Anya is smiling, knowingly.]
Spike: "Um. Yeah. Right. [straightening]. Yeah, well, Buffy and I were patrolling, right, when a _____ demon (insert something slimy ) jumped us and, well, there were three of them and before we killed them all, I got all covered in slime, you see, and, well, I was wearing my favorite shirt...and pants...and I don't have a laundry at the crypt and all, so Buffy said I could wash them here and so, here I am..."
[Skeptical looks from all]
Spike: "...and I was just feeling a bit peckish while I was waiting and thought I'd see if the slayer had any raw meat or something in the fridge...you know...while I wait for my things to dry."
[Buffy appears at the top of the stairs in just a t-shirt]
Buffy: [speaking playfully...hasn't noticed X, W & A] "What's going on? Find something fun in the fridge?"
[Sees the scoobies. Looks suddenly uncomfortable--starts stuttering.]
Spike: [looking up at Buffy] "I was just telling them about the ______ demons and how they were all slimy and got on our clothes and stuff and how you thought we should wash them RIGHT AWAY so the stains wouldn't set."
Buffy: "Right. The ______ demons. Stains, laundry...you know me--been reading that Martha Stewart magazine. That woman sure knows her stains...and...um...." [looking V. uncomfortable AND guilty]
Willow: [oblivious] "Ok, Buffy. Whatever you say. We've got some things to talk about."
Anya: "Since when does Buffy read Martha Stewart? Now that woman has a head for business!"
Xander: "Not now, Anya."
Buffy: "Spike, why don't you just borrow some sweats and I'll drop off your clothes in the morning."
Spike: [walking up stairs] "Yeah, alright. Show me which ones to take."
[They go into her bedroom; scoobies look puzzled, but head into the livingroom to wait.]
[In her room]
Spike: [looking hurt] "ok, luv. Know the drill...grab my clothes and head out the window, so you can make goody-good with your friends."
Buffy: [looking honestly confused] "Why did you cover for me like that? This would have been the perfect opportunity for you to "out" us. Isn't that what you want?"
Spike: [putting on his pants] "Honestly, slayer, you don't have the faintest idea what I want. Or maybe you do...Yeah, I do want you're friends to know. I hate all this sneaking around. But not because I give a bloody rat's ass what they think--they don't even see me anyway. No, I want them to know because I want YOU to have told them. Admitting how you feel to them means that you've admitted how you feel to yourself...and that's what I want. [looks at her face; looks away hurt, disgusted]. But, I can see that you're obviously not ready for that, so..."
Buffy: "Spike, I..."
Spike: "So I'll bloody well wait. I have no choice and you know it. You know how I feel...I don't have a choice. You do. NO matter how you look at it, Buffy--and I hope this eats away at your goody-goody-two-shoes-bloody-hero-girl conscience--when it comes to our relationship--you and me--YOU are the big bad. You pretend that it's Ok to treat me like this because I'm not human...I'm an evil THING. And maybe you're right. But remember, this evil thing would lay down its LIFE for you...and Dawn and any one of your bloody-ass-STUPID friends. You know, Buffy, I see how you are when we're together and I think I know how you feel. [voice cracking a bit] You do care for me and you would maybe very well even shed a tear if I got staked tomorrow. But I'm just running out of ideas...I don't know what I can do to make you see."
[Distressed, he moves to grab his torn shirt and head out the window.]
[Buffy's countenance changes from guilty irritation to calm softness.]
Buffy: "Spike, wait [grabbing his arm]...I want you to stay."
[She takes his shirt and throws it over her shoulder...she takes his hand.]
Buffy: "Come on." [She starts leading him out of the room.]
Spike: [obviously moved; then smirking] "um, don't you think you should put on some pants first? I mean, I know what I said about the whole nudity thing, but...."
[She smiles, puts on some pants and they go downstairs.]
Xander: "Spike. You're still not fully clothed. What, afraid to look like a big poof in one of Buffy's tee's?"
Buffy: "Yeah, guys, there's something you should know...."
Anya: "What, that you two just had SEX? That you're orgasm buddies? SO obvious!"
Xander: "What? Anya, sometimes...."
Willow: "Yeah, right. [nervous laugh] haha very funny. What do you want to tell us Buffy?"
Anya: "Great, now Spike can be an usher! I mean, screwing a bridesmaid surely qualifies him and it's not like you have many, or ANY, male friends, Xander."
Xander: "What? Who? What are you TALKING about?"
Anya: "And actually, come to think of it, I think he'd look pretty good in a tuxedo."
Spike: "I am NOT wearing a bloody penguin suit."
Xander: "What? Who? Can we start again?"
Buffy: "Guys? Um Spike and I are sort of a thing "
Xander: "Don't you mean that Spike is a thing and you just kinda-sorta tolerate his 'thingness' because he's got that strong kick-ass vampire thing but with a chip to make him harmless thing going on?"
Willow: [hopefully] "Or do you mean thing as in a 'we've decided to be friends and amicable co-workers so-as-to better fight evil' kind of thing ?"
Anya: "Oh, COME ON, people. Open your eyes. She means 'making the beast-with-two-backs', knockin' boots on a regular basis, boinking the hours away, he's-quite-well-endowed kind of thing "
[Spike gives a rather smirking, eyebrow raised look to Anya.]
Xander: "Anya!?"
Anya: "Well, the robe was UNTIED...it's not like I intentionally looked."
Willow: "Let's just let Buffy talk a minute, hey guys?"
Spike: [curious himself] "Yes, let's let Buffy explain EXACTLY what she means by 'thing'"
Buffy: "well, I....Uh...Ok. Best get it right out there in the open...um....[takes a deep breath]. Spike and I...well....Spike...uh....Spike should by all accounts be considered my....um...boyfriend...ooooh...wow...quite a relief to jut get that out in the open."
[Shocked silence. Uncomfortable eye shifting. Except Anya, who is smirking, knowingly.]
Xander: "Boyfriend. Huh. So 'thing' equals boyfriend...as in undead-evil-doesn't-even-have-a-soul-as-an-excuse BOYFRIEND. Oh this is fun. Wasn't even fond of the first vampire boyfriend WITH a soul."
[Buffy shrugs her shoulders...doesn't let go of Spike's hand.]
Willow: "Spike--newly anointed 'boyfriend'--would you mind giving us a few minutes alone with Buffy?"
[Buffy looks at Spike.]
Buffy: "It's Ok...wait for me upstairs [indicating her bedroom]. This may take a while."
Spike: "Alright, pet. I'll grab a magazine."
[Spike leaves.]
Buffy: "Really guys, it's OK."
Willow: "How long has this been going on?"
Buffy: "A few weeks. Actually, we've had a kind of connection since...well...since you brought me back."
Willow: "Oh."
Xander: "So it's just a sex thing, right? You're a bit lonely and vulnerable. No human suitors immediately in the vicinity...Buffy slayer hormones at full throttle. Spike is there...convenient...compact/well-muscled body as we've previously established..."
Anya: "Xander!"
Xander: "I'm just saying that we could understand that certain needs might be fulfilled by a certain undead enthusiastic, lovestruck...."
Willow: "Buffy?"
Buffy: "It's more than that. Sure, maybe that's where it started. I did need something....someone. But I don't know...it's more now."
Xander: "You can't actually CARE for the guy? Let's not forget he's a soulless monster..."
Anya: "Who is quite well endowed."
[Look of death from Xander]
Anya: "I'm just saying...."
Buffy: "I don't know. I like being with him. Things have been so hard and it seems lately that the only time I feel free--feel anything--is when I'm with him. And you know, he's actually been good to me..."
Xander: "Lately. He's been good to you lately ."
Willow: "And we haven't been? I know I've been kinda self-absorbed lately what with Tara leaving and all, but we're always here for you Buffy."
Anya: "But not in that way. You know, the sex part. Just so we're clear. Not that we don't find you attractive..."
Buffy: [ignoring Anya] "I know. But it's different. He understands things sometimes--things you guys can't. I don't know. I guess I..."
Willow: [Interrupting. Hurt.] "Don't say it, Buffy. We're not ready to hear it. Please do some thinking. We'll do our best to understand whatever you choose to do." [Shoots a look to Xander...v. distressed].
Anya; "So can I count him in as an usher or what?"
[Buffy goes upstairs]
End scene.
******
Scene: Sunnydale graveyard ( doesn't matter which one) . Angel is lurking about, undirected. He mumbles to himself "What am I DOING here?"
Flashback. LA. The Hotel. Angel et al. are pouring over books, gathering weapons--the usual. Phone rings (in the background).
Cordy (picking up the phone): "Angel Investigations. Oh, Hi Willow. How's the witch thing working out for you? Oh, sorry to hear that. Hey, guess, what? I'm part demon now...no, but I can levitate, sort of. I'll get him."
Cordy: "Angel, Willow's on the phone. Something's up."
Angel: [on the phone] "What is it?
Willow: "Do you think you might be able to stop by Sunnydale sometime soon?"
Angel: "Is Buffy in trouble? I'll leave right away." [Starts putting the phone down; we hear Willow shout on the other end; he puts the phone back to his ear.]
Willow: "Wait, Angel. It's not exactly THAT kind of 'hop-on-the-next-train' kind of trouble. More like a 'if-you're-not-too-busy,-take-care-of-business-first-and-then-take-the-NEXT-train' kind of thing.
Angel: "What?"
Willow: "It's just that...Well, I think Buffy really needs to see you right now. I think seeing you will make her see...make her snap out of it."
Angel: "See what? Snap out of what? I'm really not getting what you're trying to get at here, Will"
Willow: "She's just...well...something's got into her...(mumbles to herself: ooh, not the best choice of words)...I mean she's doing things that are not...she's not acting like herself. Will you come?"
Angel: "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"
Willow: "No. I mean, I think you need to see for yourself. Just come when you can."
Angel [confused] "Ok, but I'd rather have SOME idea...Willow? [looking up at the gang] She hung up."
[Flashforward. Back in the graveyard. We hear fighting, it's obviously Buffy. Angel ducks behind a crypt]
Angel: [to himself] "Why am I hiding? (irritated) Right, Willow said to 'see for myself'. Fine."
[We see Buffy and Spike walking this way, but still out of earshot/sight of Angel]
Spike: (playfully) "Not bad, luv, but you're a bit slow on the rebound--that second one nearly had you. Good job you happened to toss him my way."
Buffy: (smiling, but trying to look incredulous) "uh huh. You are so full of yourself...I tossed him your way because he was so slow and clumsy, I knew you could handle it and I needed to take care of three and four myself and didn't want you getting in my way."
Spike: "Is that right? Well, what's that then?" [pointing to a tear in her shirt and a small scratch on the side of her stomach]
Buffy: "Ok, so I got a little scratch. No big deal."
Spike: "I think your timing is a bit off, is all. Since that watcher of yours left, you haven't been doing much in the way of training, have you?"
Buffy: "Great. So now your critiquing my fighting style? I know you're trying to help, but lets not forget exactly who's the slayer around here."
Spike: "Right. I'm just saying that maybe we could work on that...you know...together. I mean, we do tend to throw a lot of punches at each other anyway [naughty smile], why not introduce a bit of method to the mayhem?"
Buffy: (skeptical) "What, like you mean turn our warped style of foreplay into training sessions ? Sounds a bit dangerous to me...(intrigued) Keep talking."
Spike: "Not exactly what I meant, but you get the idea. Face it, I'm the only one around here that could seriously give you a run for your money....and..."
Buffy: "Oh you think so, do you? (with a smile) Twenty bucks says I can pin you in less than 5 minutes."
Spike: "Take your best shot."
[They start "fighting"; They are now in view of Angel, but they don't see him--he remains hidden.]
Angel: [to himself again] "Spike?! He's STILL in Sunnydale? He's got some serious issues... But why isn't he dust yet? Surely Buffy would have taken him out by now."
Spike: "I'm not much for cash, what do you say we up the wager to something more.... tangible ?"
Buffy: [breathing heavy now from all the fighting] "Less talk, more fighting...we'll save the negotiations for the end."
[Lots more fighting; each almost pinning the other multiple times. Buffy has the upper hand most of the time, but at the last minute, Spike appears to pin her against a crypt (not far from where Angel is hiding). Angel, thinking that they are actually fighting is just about to intervene when Spike kisses Buffy. Angel freezes in shocked disbelief.]
Spike: [in between smooches] "So I guess you owe me 20 bucks, or..."
Buffy: "I SO let you win...still, I get your point about the whole training business."
Spike: [Laughs; let's go of his grip on her. Runs his fingers tenderly through her hair] "Ok, slayer, so is it your place or mine tonight?"
Buffy: "Um. Dawn's home and I'm not sure what Willow's plans are...so"
Spike: "But you won't let me smoke at your place; let's stay at the crypt tonight...Willow's not going anywhere. And now that she knows about us...."
Buffy: "Uh, no running water in the crypt...not EXACTLY my idea of comfort. Besides, you don't have to smoke every minute, do you? And just because they know we're together doesn't mean they're quite on board with the idea. Although I think it's going reasonably well."
Spike: "So, what, you're suggesting is a quick shag somewhere and we go our separate ways for the night?"
Buffy: [v. naughty face] "Hey. I didn't say ANYTHING about QUICK..." [back to smooching]
[Angel is still frozen in disbelief, a look of horror on his face. Spike picks Buffy up and throws her over his shoulder and starts to walk off "off to my place, then..."; Buffy giggles and looks relaxed and happy. Angel steps out in front of them.]
Angel: "Buffy?" [Absolute look of confusion/torture on his face]
[Angel is facing Spike; Buffy is over his shoulder and facing the wrong way so she doesn't know at first that it's Angel]
Buffy: "Who's there?"
[Spike puts Buffy down; Has an "oh fuck" look on his face.]
Spike: "Well if it isn't Mr. Righteous, come to pay us a cautionary visit."
Buffy: "Angel?" [Obviously uncomfortable; She inadvertently steps slightly away from Spike.]
[Angel is still dumb-struck; we see him trying to figure out what's going on. He stares at her neck, presumably looking for signs of a bite and/or the presence of her cross.]
Spike: "Have you forgot your manners down in LA? It's not polite to stare at a girl's neck when you're talking to her...they can ALWAYS tell. In answer to your obvious question, no, I didn't bite her. [smirk] Not yet, anyway."
Angel: "You obviously did SOMETHING to her, because there is no way that this is really happening."
Spike: "Well, I don't like to brag, but..."
Buffy: "Spike! [cautionary look] Angel, what are you doing here?"
Angel: "Willow called. She said something was up--didn't give me the details."
Buffy: [Looking at Spike] "So much for 'reasonably well'."
[Angel lunges at Spike, grabs him by the shirt]
Angel: "What did you do to her, you animal." [Much vehemence]
Spike: "Take your hands off me, you bloody poof." [Struggles--hits his hands away; Angel grabs hold again]
Angel: [Growls] "WHAT DID YOU DO ?"
Spike: [v. annoyed] "Would you like me to draw you a picture? I mean, it's been so long since you had a girlfriend, you might not remember what goes on...Oh that's right. You were rather limited in that capacity anyway if memory serves."
Angel: "I can kill you before or after you tell me what's happening... your choice."
Buffy: "Angel! Let go of him."
[At this point, Spike has wriggled out of Angel's grip anyway; they throw a few punches at each other]
Buffy: "Stop it. [speaking softly at first...then louder] STOP IT."
[Spike glances over at Buffy and sees that she's on the verge of tears and looking very disturbed; He puts his hands up as a signal to stop fighting.]
Spike: "alright, alright."
Angel: [Not letting up; taking advantage of Spike's attempt at 'peace'] "I don't see that there's much to talk about. Buffy has a problem, you're the cause of it, so I kill you. [looking around] Where's a stake when you need one?"
[Buffy pulls Angel off of Spike]
Buffy: [Very upset; glaring at Angel] "Just stop it."
Angel: "What's going on with you, Buffy? This is Spike!!?? You remember, kidnapper of your friends, plotter of your death, slayer-killer bleach blonde soul-less monster, Spike. Hello?"
Buffy: "You've been away a long time, Angel. Things have changed."
Angel: [staring harshly at Buffy] "Things could not have changed THAT MUCH." [He grabs her by the shoulders as if to shake her; looks her dead in they eyes] "What's wrong?"
Spike: [voice oozing with hatred; he calmly and deliberately says] "Back-off, old....friend. [obviously trying hard to restrain himself, he glances at Buffy; she's still looking disoriented and upset; the word 'wrong' touching a nerve] Let's give Buffy a minute."
Angel: "So you're looking out for her best interests now?"
Spike: "Yeah, that's right. And the only thing wrong with her is self-righteous bastards like you giving her a hard time."
[Spike exchanges a look with Buffy; she seems relieved (i.e., that he didn't spill the beans about her coming back 'wrong')]
Angel: "No, something's going on here. Buffy would NEVER be with you."
Spike: "And why's that then, Peaches? Seems to me I'm the first to give her what she needs."
Angel: "You're dirt, Spike. You're nothing. Always have been, always will be. I've known you a hell of a lot longer than she has and I know you can't be trusted."
Spike: "Oh, and you're mister stability? I seem to remember a time not so long ago when you were much more keen to take her out than I ever was...I just wanted to kill her...you were all bent on the whole 'torment' thing. [anticipating the response] Right, but that was Angelus and now you're Angel...[rolls his eyes] heard that record already. So the choices seem to be sadistic-heartless-hell-bent-on-destroying-the-world demon or big broody girl's blouse. You know, I'm not quite sure which one I hate more....[is about to continue with more ranting insults, but sees Buffy and stops]...you know, we could go on trading insults all night, so..."
[Angel and Spike are facing off; Buffy is off to the side still looking rather disoriented.]
Angel: [Interrupts] "Or I could just stake you and end it right now."
Buffy: "Could you two please just stop for a minute. I...can't...we need to ....I..."
Spike: [Threateningly back to Angel] "You could try . Go on then. Give it your best shot. We'll see who's left standing in the end . [He glances over to Buffy--seeing her freaked out look, he tries to restrain himself again] No. [deep breath, then to Buffy] On second thought, why don't I go to your place, luv, and sit with Dawn for a bit while you have a chat with the big....with Angel...your friend [knowing glance to Angel] . I'll wait for you there."
Buffy: [nods her head] "Thanks" [She touches his hand tenderly]
[Spike backs away, glaring/smirking at Angel]
Angel: "You're just going to let him go to your house and be alone with your sister. Are you nuts? Is this some kind of alternate universe thing, cause I'm just not getting it."
Buffy: [getting annoyed] "Will you just shut up a minute. I get it, you don't approve. [She seems to be snapping out of it now/pulling herself together; she's reasoning something out] You would have just killed him, wouldn't you? If you had a stake in your pocket, you would have dusted him right there."
Angel: "Well, yeah. It's Spike...and he's obviously affecting you somehow."
Buffy: [Angrier] "Let me get this straight, because I want to be absolutely sure. After what you saw...after seeing us together , you would have simply killed him in front of me, no questions asked."
Angel: "I'm thinking the "right" answer to that question is 'no', but I'd have to go with my original answer, which would be 'yes'. Let's review, shall we? Spike. Soul-less vampire obsessed with killing slayers, particularly YOU. I think it's pretty much a no-brainer."
[In response, we see Buffy close her eyes and wince in pain (presumably as she imagines what that would have been like); pain turns to fury and she punches Angel hard on the chin.]
Buffy: "How dare you. How dare you assume that there's something wrong with me...that I'm not in control of my actions."
Angel: [confused] "Buffy, I just..."
Buffy: "You JUST almost killed my boyfriend. Yes, that's right. MY BOYFRIEND, SPIKE."
Angel: [exacerbated] "Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"
Buffy: "So Willow summoned you here thinking that one look at you and I'd go all soft and gooey and realize what REAL love is or was, blah blah blah and somehow the fog will lift and Buffy will come to her senses, stake Spike and life will get back to normal. SO NOT going to happen."
Angel: "I don't really know what her plan was...maybe she thought I'd just take him out."
Buffy: "Oh, that's real evolved."
Angel: "Or maybe just talk some sense into you or find out what kind of mojo he's got working..."
Buffy: "I'll have you know that I am full of sense...and as for the 'mojo', he's got it, but it's not the kind YOU'RE thinking. You know, I think this little encounter has had the opposite effect. It's true, initially, I started to fall into the 'gooey', but now I just see everything more clearly. I don't HAVE to justify myself to you or anyone else. I'm not going to sit here and fill you in on the 'nitty-gritties' of the past couple of years. I shouldn't have to. You should trust my judgement. You guys all live in such a black and white world with 'good guys' and 'bad guys' and the roles don't change...well, except in your case when it's an all-or-nothing kind a deal. It's usually not that simple. Ok, Spike's not Mr. Guy-in-white-hat or Night-in-shining-armor or even you...but he loves me...enough to help me, my family, my friends. He's not the Spike you remember....well, he is in some ways...ways that I like. He sees me. Funny, I guess he always has...even when he wanted to kill me. I don't have to pretend around him. He makes me happy."
[Angel listens to her, frowning]
Angel: "But it's SPIKE, Buffy. [hopefully] A puppy might make you happy....or a kitten?"
Buffy: "Have you heard a word I said? I don't want a puppy. I don't want you. Things are different now. I..."
Angel: "Let me guess. [rolling his eyes/dismissively] You want Spike"
[A look comes over Buffy's face...she looks from side to side; looks up in astonishment and says]
Buffy: "I...I love him"
[A look of pain crosses Angels face...then turns to anger (he refuses to believe it--easier that way). He turns around and walks quickly away.]
Buffy: [to herself] "Holy Fucking Shit."
End scene.
*****
[Buffy's house. Spike is there with Dawn. Something is afoot such that someone needs to stay with Dawn and Willow is out. Spike is pacing and smoking, looking agitated.]
Dawn: "Is everything OK? That's like your 10th cigarette in10 minutes. Any more and there's no WAY we're going to be able to hide the smoke from Buffy. Plus you're going to wear a hole in the floor....[looking freaked out] Is it something really bad? What did Willow say on the phone? Is Buffy OK? Is something on its way here? Is...."
Spike: "It's nothing, Little Bit. Nothing for you to worry about. Just put the telly back on and watch your soaps. I'll just, uh..."
Dawn: "You look kind of pale, Spike. Well, I mean you're a vampire, so you're always pale, but you look kinda strange....[looking at him more intently] maybe it's that you're NOT so pale...flushed or something. Do vampires get flushed?"
Spike: "Aren't you the inquisitive one tonight? [a bit sternly] I said everything's OK...now just get on with it."
Dawn [looking a bit hurt] "Fine. You know you don't have to stay here. If there really is no bad on the way, why don't you just leave. I am 15; I don't NEED a babysitter."
[Spike is frowning, almost grimacing as he stares out the window. He's obviously distracted and didn't hear a word Dawn said]
Dawn: [seeing his distressed look and following his gaze out the window] "Oh, God, there IS something on its way here...should we hide in the basement or something? Where's Buffy?"
Spike: [the mention of Buffy's name brings him back, he looks at Dawn, softening] "No need to get your knickers in a twist, Bit, there isn't any trouble. Well, not really. Willow just wants to check something out to be sure."
Dawn: "So what's with the damaged look then? You haven't looked this out-of-it since..." [her voice trails off]
Spike: [resigned] "Oh, just everyone's favorite vampire, Mr. soulful, has decided to pay Sunnydale a little visit and your big sis is off chatting him up." [long drag on his cigarette]
Dawn: "Angel? [a slight nod from Spike] He's not MY favorite vampire [quick little acknowledging smile from Spike]. I mean he's so serious and broody...I don't think he's ever said more than three words to me...and then there's the way Buffy acts whenever she talks to him...she gets all soppy and distant."
Spike [had been looking mildly pleased until the last bit] "She talks to him a lot, does she? [more smoking] You got anything to drink around here?"
Dawn: [seeing Spike's obvious displeasure] "oh, well not a lot. Just sometimes. I think there's a bottle of something in that cabinet over there."
Spike: "Well, what do you say we have ourselves a little drink, shall we? You're old enough, right? 15? Sounds about right."
[Walks over to the cabinet, gets the bottle. Pours a small glass, passes it to Dawn and then swigs hard from the bottle. Dawn looking slightly bewildered, but enjoying the attention picks up the glass, sniffs it, makes a face, plugs her nose and drinks it,]
Dawn: "Tastes like bug spray; you LIKE to drink that?"
Spike: [shrugs] "You've tasted bug spray? hm. It does the job. [takes another swig] How long have I been here? When did Willow say she'd be back?"
Dawn: "I don't know. An hour, maybe. [knowingly]. Listen, it's not like anything going to happen...you know, with them. I mean, they're just friends now."
Spike: [laughs] "Right. Friends. Just the thought...[He accidentally crushes the bottle in his hand]...bloody...I shouldn't have left them alone." [starts walking towards the door]
Dawn: "You're bleeding. Hang on a minute..." [She goes to grab his arm]
Spike: "I need to go, I..." [He pushes her back onto the couch rather violently; she looks at him with a 'deer in the headlights' kind of look] "Sorry...Dawn...are you ok? It's just I can't..."
Dawn: [looking a bit PO'd] "I'm alright. And go if you want...I'll clean up the mess...but, I wouldn't if I were you."
Spike: "Wouldn't what?"
Dawn: "Do what it is I think you think you want to do. I don't know much, but even in this freaky slayerworld we all live in, killing the ex is really not the way to a girl's heart. Here, let me get a band-aid for your hand before you bleed all over the couch...I've got enough to clean up." [looking at the broken bottle on the floor]
Spike: [Big sigh. Lets his head fall forward into the door.] "Yeah, alright. I'll help with the mess."
[Flash forward. Dawn is asleep on the couch. Spike is sitting next to her, not-really watching the t.v. Another nearly empty bottle is in his hand. He looks wrecked. Willow comes home, looking pretty tired; sees them in the livingroom. Spike looks up, obviously disappointed that it's not Buffy. Looks back at the t.v.]
Willow: "Everything checked out. Nothing to worry about. Sorry it took so long. Where's Buffy? Anyway, you can head out now, Spike. I'll put Dawny to bed."
Spike: "I need to talk to Buffy...I'm just going out back for a fag."
[Willow sees the bottle, and sees Spike stumble as he gets up from the couch. It's obvious he isn't in the best shape...Still, she doesn't say anything and proceeds to wake Dawn up and they head up to bed. We see Spike sitting on the step, smoking. Buffy walks up in front of him. He doesn't look at her, but stares at the ground.]
Buffy: [lightheartedly] "Well, doesn't someone smell like a bar."
Spike: [hoarse voice; nearly cracking] "4 hours, 37 minutes."
Buffy: "Sorry about that. Everything alright with Dawn? You two have any rousing games of crazy 8s?" [another lame attempt at lightheartedness]
Spike: "I suppose I should be flattered that it took so long. Put up a good argument, then, didya' luv, before giving in?"
Buffy: [more serious now] "What are you talking about?"
Spike: [looks up and around, but never directly at her. His eyes are wet and bloodshot.] "I reckoned 20 minutes, maybe, if all you did was tell him off; an hour if you decided to listen to what he had to say about it; Not that he's much of a talker, o' course, but still maybe an hour and a half to be the 'good ex' and hear him out before telling him to bugger off and mind is own bloody business. But after two hours--that's more than being polite. You must be listening. So what was it in the end, then, that made the difference? What could he have said?....or done. [wince, then loudly] Four bloody hours and 37 bloody minutes." [Takes the bottle and smashes it against a tree.]
Buffy: "You're drunk, Spike. Maybe we should talk about this later."
Spike: [he gets up; wobbles a bit and leans back against the tree; he IS obviously drunk] "No. Lets just get this over with now, because I don't know how much more of this I can take. God, look at me. Pathetic. Who would have thought 3 years ago that you of all people could reduce me to a blubbering idiot...[little laugh]...on second thought, don't answer that. It was so much easier when I wanted to kill you, you know? Somehow, I didn't find it so hard to deal with failure. So you'd still be alive and you'd kick my ass and I'd get up and we'd start all over again. But this--when I think of you listening to him--even simply being near him... NO, when I think what you might be about to say to me right now, it's like someone is taking a blunt stake and driving into my heart. And not in a quick vampire-instantly-turn-to-dust kind of way, but as if I were human and I can feel the life slowly draining out of me... ach, bugger this. [rolls his eyes, obviously disgusted with himself]. Just get on with it."
Buffy: [She walks over to the tree and leans back against the side next to Spike] "You were actually off a bit in your timing...it only took 5 minutes to tell him off. Not one for long speeches, me. If you can say it with a quick punch to the face, why waste a lot of wordage?"
[Confused look on S's face; turns his head towards her.]
Spike: "But...where've you been, then? Why didn't you...?"
Buffy: "I took a walk. I needed to work things out for myself. This is really hard for me. I know you hate him, but just understand that there was a time when he was my world. I couldn't imagine ever feeling that way again. And I won't...it's never the same as the first. But that's not the point. Seeing him made me see things for what they are. I've been hiding everything for too long. Things have to change, Spike. It can't go on like this. I'm being pulled in too many directions already."
Spike: [interrupting; the temporary optimism now gone] "Dammit, slayer, just SAY IT. Enough with the 'Lifetime-television-for-women' moment, luv. Some of us have to be inside by daybreak."
Buffy: [a bit incredulous] "A little patience for the usual girl-of-few-words, LUV. I'm TRYING to make a speech here."
[Spike lets out a little drunken laugh.]
Buffy: "What?"
Spike: "I don't think I've ever heard you say 'luv' before. Sounds kinda funny with your American accent. Hey, wait a minute. You called ME 'luv'."
Buffy: "I was mocking you."
Spike: "Oh. Back to the speech, then? Should I sit down; maybe get a tarp?"
Buffy: [laughs, then frowns] "This is serious."
Spike: [wave of seriousness/sadness sweeps over is face. Leans his head back against the tree. Voice soft/pained] "I know."
[They aren't looking at each other. Each is leaning back against the tree, but next to each other.]
Buffy: "Things have to change. I need to spend more time with my friends, with Dawn. You need to stop trying to pull me away from them. All your talk about my place being in the dark and how I don't belong with them anymore...it's not right. Not entirely. It is hard being with them and most of the time I feel I don't belong anymore, but it can't stay like that. I have to be here. I have to live here. This is my place. So what it comes down to is...well...you don't need to say those things anymore, Spike. You make such a big thing of something that is only partly true and I know you do it because you think it's the only way I'll stay with you. I guess what I'm saying is that I can't live entirely in your world, so if we're going to make this thing work, you're going to need to get comfortable spending some time in my world, or...or...get used to not seeing me. [Her eyes are tearing up now, she's looking all around--SMG's "upset" look]. The thing is...well...I never intended...I mean...this was all supposed to be just fun and a distraction from my life...and then...I...never wanted to...I mean, it's ridiculous, really...I didn't mean to..."
[We get the impression that Spike's only been half listening...waiting for a particular set of words (e.g., "I'm breaking up with you..."). He's desperately fighting back tears.]
Spike: [interrupting] "Yeah, yeah, you never meant to hurt me. Great. Brilliant. Please just say the bloody words. I left 90% of my self-respect at the bottom of the last bottle of scotch and pretty soon the rest will follow suit and I really don't want to find out what happens when it's gone. Just SAY IT."
B [weakly] "I love you"
[A few awkward seconds pass]
Spike: [turning to face her] "What did you just say?"
Buffy: [tears streaming down her face] "I didn't mean for this to happen. I really didn't. I meant what I said before, about things having to change. It's just that now everything is so complicated because...[looks straight into his eyes] I love you. I want you in my life. You don't need to say those things because you don't have to."
[He stares at her for a minute; scanning her face. He brushes away her tears gently with his hand. You get the impression that he's trying to figure out if this is really happening.]
Spike: [he whispers] "Say it again"
Buffy: "I love you"
[Upon hearing the words, he closes his eyes and touches his forehead to hers; his countenance is suddenly calm. A tear streaks down his face. He runs his hand over her hair.]
Spike: [to himself? He breathes "So this is what it feels like"]
Buffy: "What?"
Spike: "Nevermind. It's all Ok now. Nothing else matters."
[He kisses her.]
Buffy: "Actually, that's the problem. It doesn't all just go away..."
Spike: "shh, luv. It does for tonight. Tonight is perfect. Tonight is everything."
[They go inside, head upstairs. They both look content and calm. In Buffy's room.]
Buffy: "I may love you, but you still smell like a bar. What do you say to the prospect of a shower?"
Spike: "Showers and vampires usually don't mix, but I'm willing to make an exception if you'll be joining me."
Buffy: "I'll be in in a minute. I want to talk to Dawn. Um. Put your clothes in a plastic bag or something...maybe we should burn them."
[In Dawn's room; Buffy sits on the bed and wakes Dawn]
Dawn: "You're home. What's up?"
Buffy: "I just wanted to warn you that Spike is staying the night--it's almost daylight. Didn't want you to be freaked out in the morning if bumped into him."
Dawn: "I wouldn't be freaked out. You know, it's not a big deal for him to be here. I mean, if it would mean you'd be around more, I wouldn't mind for you to hang out here...with Spike. It's not a big deal."
Buffy: "We'll see. You're pretty cool, for a bratty little sister."
*****
[Buffy walks back toward her room. She hears the shower come on and at the sound her heart skips a beat. Her head swirls as she nears the door of the bathroom. The thought of him--knowing he's just a few steps away--knowing he'll be there, with her, for the night--sends a shiver of calm excitement through her. She catches herself, thinking: "Wait a minute. It's just Spike. The same guy you've been sleeping with for the past month" but even as she thinks these words, she finds herself holding her breath. "Breathe. BREATHE." She thinks to herself. She forces herself to slow her steps and calm her racing heart. She stops outside the door for a minute, enjoying the anticipation. She's jolted out of her dream-like state by a voice through the door.]
Spike: "You comin' in or what? Can't bloody figure out these knobs."
Buffy: "Shhh. Dawn's sleeping."
Spike: "Well if you'd come inside instead of standing at the door, I wouldn't have to shout now, would I?"
[Buffy smiles. Ah, this is the Spike I know--I can handle this. She strolls confidently into the bathroom. She quickly notices that his clothes are not on the floor and thinks "oh god, he didn't walk from my room to the bathroom naked...with Dawn in the house? Could he PLEASE get some modesty? I'm going to HAVE to...". She's suddenly distracted by the thought of his lack of modesty and her eyes are drawn to the partial opening of the shower curtain. Just then his head pops around]
Spike: "I can't seem to get it to go much hotter than room temperature--s'there a trick to it?"
Buffy: [looking confused and slightly disappointed] "You're dressed. Why are you wearing your clothes in the shower?"
Spike: "Don't have quite the closet full of clothes that you've got, pet, so burning 'em would knock my selection down a bit--thought this'd do a good enough job getting the smoke out."
Buffy: "There is something known as a washing machine--works remarkably well with the cleaning of the clothes. Just throw them over the top and I'll take them downstairs."
[As he starts to undress, Buffy works the knobs of the shower to make the water hot and steamy. She steps back and watches him undress. He wrings each item out slightly and puts it over the top of the curtain, not even noticing Buffy watching. Once he's naked, he closes his eyes and moves his face to the stream of water, letting it wash over him. He then turns to see Buffy staring at him through the narrow opening of the curtain and smiles a wry smile.]
Spike: "There's going to be a puddle."
Buffy: [She is totally and utterly distracted by the sight of him--her eyes are washing over his body--she is transfixed. Snapping out of it at the sound of his voice] "What?"
Spike: "The clothes--they're dripping."
Buffy: "Oh, right. [nervous laugh] I'll just put 'em in a basket for now."
[He turns back into the water stream and she pulls the t-shirt and jeans off the rod and puts them in a plastic basket in the corner. As she does this, he pulls the curtain closed--he wants her to come into the shower with him, instead of just gawking from outside. Buffy slowly begins to undress. When she's down to her underwear, she stops undressing for a moment and looks at the shower curtain. Although she appears to be studying it, she's looking past it, her mind racing again. Moments of unexplained panic mixed with excitement flush through her. She thinks to herself "What is this feeling? Why does everything seem so different? [once again trying to get hold of herself] It's Spike--soul-less, arrogant, annoying, chain smoking, pig-headed,....forceful, focused, caring, sweet, beautiful, Spike. [getting a lump in her throat] Wait. I left something out. Right, VAMPIRE. Oh God, what have I done? How could I have told him that . There's no taking it back now. Did I mean it? Oh god, this is impossible. I should've kept it to myself. How could I...."]
Spike: "I hear thinking out there--too much thinking and not enough undressing. Dangerous stuff. I forbid you to think for at least the next 8 hours. Personally, I try to limit my thinking to no more than two or three hours a day."
[She smiles, pleased to be broken out of her little panic attack. He always gets there just in time. Perhaps just this once, she'll do as she's told. She pulls back the curtain and steps tentatively into the shower, still feeling that unfamiliar nervousness that struck her before. Did I mean it? Then she looks up to his face and seeing his clear blue eyes she unhesitatingly answers herself "yes". She is again transfixed, studying his face as though she'd never seen it before. She hears herself whisper "beautiful". This snaps her out of it.]
Buffy: [suddenly embarrassed] "Did I just say that out loud?"
Spike: [a small laugh and eyebrow raised shallow grin.] "You did. [Drinking in her obvious lack of composure. He toys with the idea of saying something snarky about her choice of compliment--'beautiful' not being the most manly of adjectives, but decides against it. This actually may be the first unprompted compliment he's gotten from his slayer--best to just leave it.] And I'd assumed that my 'not thinking' mandate came after the undressing, but I can see I was a bit premature."
[She looks down, noticing that she'd forgotten to remove her bra and panties before stepping in the shower. She smiles at herself as she tries to think of something clever to say.]
Buffy: "Uh, maybe I'm just bashful (?)"
Spike: "Yeah. Kind of a strange time to regain one's inhibitions. [He grabs hold of her arm and gently pulls her to him and then reaches behind her back to unlatch her bra. As he is undressing her, she says.]
Buffy: "How did you know before--that I was thinking?"
Spike: "I know the normal rhythm of your breathing--I can tell when it changes. [smirking] And if I'm not actually touching you when it happens, I know something is going on in that little head of yours--you actually stopped breathing altogether for about 20 seconds just then. [tossing her undergarments over the shower curtain rod, he pushes her back from him slightly so he can look at her] That's better. And now, your heart is beating all over the place. Is it possible my little slayer is just a bit put off by the events of this evening?"
Buffy: [She doesn't know whether to be infuriated or grateful for his ability to read her so accurately. Is there anyone who has ever known her so well?] "I wouldn't know. No more thinking, remember? Just feeling ."
[As she says this last word, she looks back up into his eyes. As they stare at each other, she wonders if she can summon all the love she has in her and push it out through her eyes and into his and if this would make him happy. She remembers his words from before: "Nothing else matters." "Tonight is everything". Something else reverberates in her thoughts. "Happy. I want him to be happy. Nothing else matters but that ." She wonders if she'd ever considered that before. All this time, it's been all about her--how she felt, what she did, what she said. Occasionally, once in a while, maybe there had been a thought to 'we' or 'us', but never just him. Now it doesn't matter. He matters. No more thinking. She leans forward to kiss him gently--a tear streaks quickly down her cheek, but it simply blends into water from the shower. But she knows. She runs her hands down his wet chest and follows the path with her lips. Again, she is feeling his body as if it were the first time. He can detect a change in her--in how she's touching him. He lets her explore him leisurely, remaining rather passive to her, only running his fingers gently through her wet hair--he's still tired and a bit drunk. He occasionally wonders if this could all be a dream. Who cares? No thinking. Not tonight. But has she ever touched him so gently? Has she every really felt him before now? Tonight he's not her punching bag, her comfort, her crowbar, her relief. In fact, he's not her anything. He is simply William and he is being touched as if his skin were not dead; as if he was still new to this world; as if his skin could be as easily bruised as his heart. Tonight is everything. She has turned him around, so that the water from the shower is running through is hair and down his back between his shoulder blades. She has her arms around him and is kissing every inch of his beautifully crafted shoulders and slender, chiseled back. She runs her hands down the back of his neck and then down his spine--as she reaches his waist, she slips her hands around front to feel the muscles of his stomach. She lets out a small giggle as she feels his erection touch the back of her hand as she strokes the skin beneath his belly button--even standing up, his erections are always nearly perpendicular to the floor. She kneels down and moving her hands to his hips, she admires his perfectly sculpted ass. She kisses each cheek from top to bottom and then runs her tongue down the middle. He lets out a small moan as her tongue passes his opening--hearing this, she is filled with a subtly different kind of satisfaction than she'd known before. For once, she wasn't thinking about how he'd reciprocate--how he'd make her feel later--how she'd be rewarded . Those thoughts didn't enter her head. She needed to hear more sounds of his pleasure. She reached around and took hold of his erection, as she continued to move her tongue over his lower body. After a minute of glorious unnecessary inhalations and exhalations from him as she moved her hands and tongue together, she pulls back and turns him toward her. She looks straight ahead for just a moment before smiling up at him. She's almost tempted to vocalize how beautiful his body is, but instead, she just looks back greedily and begins to kiss down the length of him. He watches her intently, still shocked at the softness of her touch. He whimpers as she takes the tip into her mouth, tasting his arousal. As she takes more of him in, he can't help but call her name "Buffy. Oh, Buffy." She takes him in as deeply as she can, but still needs her hand to grip the rest of him. His reaction to her every move is intoxicating to her--had he always been so appreciative? Had she just never noticed? Every twirl of her tongue, every move of her hand, every tightened suck was met with such exquisite sounds from him intermixed with the whispered chanting of her name. She wanted to taste him so badly--of course she was aroused; swollen and aching; he must be able to tell--but that's not what she wanted. Just this once, she wanted only to taste him--to feel the pulsing spasms as he released into her mouth. Happy. She wanted him to be happy. She pulled her hands away and with them pulled his hips to force him more deeply inside her. In between moans, he tries to pull away Spike: "What about you? I can't hold off much longer". She just glances up at him and he sees her determination. With a smirk/snarl, he breathes: Spike: "Later, then", closes his eyes and puts his hands loosely on her head as the moment approaches. She feels him harden and knows it won't be much longer. God, she wants this. She pulls him in as deeply as she can stand and tightens her mouth around him. He can't help but let out a low, almost sorrowful moan as he instinctively thrusts delicately into her mouth as he feels the pressure become unbearable. She hears herself moan with him as he explodes into her mouth and she feels the spasms move up the length of his erection. The spasms continue for a while (longer than usual? she hopes) and she keeps her mouth wrapped tightly around him until he's completely done. His knees bend and he slides down the tub and sits, pulling her toward him. She turns off the water and then turns so that he can pull her back between his legs--he wraps his arms around her and she leans back into him so that their faces are next to each other (they're both facing the same way). Still dizzy from the orgasm, he can't stop himself from whispering in her ear.]
Spike: "Is this real? Wait. Don't answer that. I don't care."
[Buffy just turns her head and kisses him gently on the cheek. Then she gets up and grabs towels for them both. She hands him one and he gets up after a minute.]
Buffy: "Go on in and get in bed. I'm just going to dry my hair."
Spike: "Don't be too long. I think maybe I owe you a little something. [smirking] or maybe a BIG something" [she just smiles as he leaves the bathroom.]
******
[a few minutes later, she goes into her room]
Buffy: "I'm pretty tired, Spike. Maybe we should just [she notices that S is fast asleep in her bed] go to sleep. OK, talking to myself."
[Buffy crawls into bed with Spike. She looks at him sleeping and brushes her hand gently across his face. Her hand stops briefly at the scar on his eyebrow, then down his cheek. His eyes open for just a second. He moves his arm to let her in. She puts her head on his shoulder and rests her arm across his chest.]
End scene.