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“Where did they go?” “Where the leaves go in autumn.” ~Susan Cooper, Silver on the Tree, The Dark is Rising Sequence Terry Pratchett: “Susan . . . it wasn't a good name, was it? It wasn't a truly bad name, it wasn't like poor Iodine in the fourth form, or Nigella, a name which meant "oops, we wanted a boy." ~Soul Music "Glod Glodsson," said the dwarf. "You just play the harp?" "Anything with strings on it," said Imp. "But the harp is the queen of instruments, see." “I can blow anything," said Glod. “Realllly?" said Imp. He sought for some polite comment. "That must make you very popular." ~Soul Music "But--" Granny hesitated, groping her way across unfamiliar territory--"she never talked about what you might call the previous." "Sorry?" "You know," said Granny, with an edge of desperation in her voice. "Men and such." Magrat looked as if she were about to panic. "What about them?" Granny Weatherwax had done many unusual things in her time, and it took a lot to make her refuse a challenge. But this time she gave in. "I think," she said helplessly, "that it might be a good idea if you have a quiet word with Nanny Ogg one of these days. Fairly soon." There was a cackle of laughter from the window behind them, a chink of glasses, and a thin voice raised in song: "--with a giraffe, if you stand on a stool. But the hedgehog--" Granny stopped listening. "Only not just now," she added. ~Wyrd Sisters "What're we going to give him, then?" said Nanny. "We was just discussing it," said Granny. "I know what he'll want," said Nanny. She made a suggestion, which was received in frozen silence. "I don't see what use that would be," said Magrat, eventually. "Wouldn't it be rather uncomfortable?" “He'll thank us when he grows up, you mark my words," said Nanny. "My first husband, he always said—“ "Something a bit less physical is generally the style of things," interrupted Granny, glaring at Nanny Ogg. ~Wyrd Sisters "Is this a dagger I see before me?" he mumbled. "Um. No, my lord. It's my handkerchief, you see. You can sort of tell the difference if you look closely. It doesn't have as many sharp edges." ~Wyrd Sisters Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck. ~Lords and Ladies Shawn picked up the book very, very carefully and turned a few pages. “Hey, look at this one! He’s doing it with his feet!” I didn’t know you could do it with your feet!” He nudged Ponder Stibbons. “Look, sir!” Ridcully peered at the king. “You all right, your majesty?” he said. Verence squirmed. “Um…” “And, look, here’s one where both chaps are doing it with sticks…” “What?” said Verence. “Wow,” said Shawn. “Thank you, sire. This is going to really come in handy, I can tell you. I mean, I’ve picked up bits and pieces here and there, but—“ Verence snatched the book from Shawn’s hands and looked at the title page. “’Martial Arts’? Martial Arts. But I’m sure I wrote Marit—“ “Sire?” There was one exquisite moment while Verence fought for mental balance, but he won. “Ah. Yes. Right. Uh. Well, yes. Uh. Of course. Yes. Well, you see, a well-trained army is…is essential to the security of any kingdom. That’s right. Yes. Fine. Magrat and me, we thought…yes. It’s for you, Shawn.” “I’ll start practicing right away, sire!” “Um. Good.” ~Lords and Ladies And there’d be dancing bears and comic jugglers and the greasy pole competition which for some reason Nanny Ogg always won. And bowling-with-a-pig. And the bran tub, which Nanny Ogg usually ran; it was a brave man who plunged his hand into a bran tub stocked by a witch with a broad sense of humor. ~Lords and Ladies “And I thought Magrat was very surprised when you recited that poem at the reception.” “Poem?” “The one where you did the gestures.” “Oh, that poem.” “I saw Verence making notes on his napkin.” ~Lords and Ladies Through red eyes in a mask of slime and duckweed he peered at the blurred form above him, and shouted, “Why did you have to save me?” The answer worried him…As he lay shivering in bed it settled in his dreams like an iceberg. In the midst of his fever he muttered, “What did he mean, ‘FOR LATER’?” ~Mort "What ho, b'zugda-hiara,"* he said cheerfully. *A killing insult in Dwarfish, but here used as a term of endearment. It means "lawn ornament." ~Wyrd Sisters Finally, Granny drew herself up, surveyed her dark reflection in the glass, gave a thin smile of approval, and left via the back door. The air of menace was only slightly dispelled by the sound of her running up and down outside, trying to get her broomstick started. ~Wyrd Sisters Binky was not challenged by the high stairs. In wasn’t that he flew. It was simply that he walked on a ground level of his own devising. ~Hogfather “Have you any idea how hard it is to be normal? The things you have to remember? How to go to sleep? How to forget things? What doorknobs are for?” ~Hogfather WASN’T THAT NICE? said Death, as the hogs accelerated. “Oh, yes,” said Albert, shaking his head. “Poor old devil. Beans at Hogswatch? Unlucky, that. Not a night for a man to find a bean in his bowl.” I FEEL I WAS CUT OUT FOR THIS SORT OF THING, YOU KNOW. “Really, master?” IT’S NICE TO DO A JOB WHERE PEOPLE LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU. “Ah,” said Albert, glumly. THEY DON’T NORMALLY LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING ME. “Yes, I expect so.” EXCEPT IN RATHER UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCES. “Right, right.” AND THEY SELDOM LEAVE A GLASS OF SHERRY OUT. “I expect they don’t, no.” ~Hogfather She pulled him up beside her. “Just hang on,” she said. And then she said, “Hang on somewhere differently, I mean.” “I’m sorry, was that a problem?” said the oh god, shifting his grip. “It might take too long to explain and you probably don’t know all the words. Around the waist, please.” ~Hogfather “Yes, sir, but the Librarian likes bananas, sir.” “Very nourishin’ fruit, Mr. Stibbons.” “Yes, sir. Although, funnily enough it’s not actually a fruit, sir.” “Really?” “Yes, sir. Botanically, it’s a type of fish, sir. According to my theory, it’s cladistically associated with the Krullian pipefish, sir, which of course is also yellow and goes around in bunches or shoals.” “And lives in trees?” “Well, not usually, sir. The banana is obviously exploiting a new niche.” “Good heavens, really? It’s a funny thing, but I’ve never much liked bananas and I’ve always been a bit suspicious of fish, too. That’d explain it.” “Yes, sir.” “Do they attack swimmers?” “Not that I’ve heard, sir. Of course, they may be clever enough only to attack swimmers who’re far from land.” “What, you mean sort of…high up? In the trees, as it were?” “Possibly, sir.” “Cunning, eh?” “Yes, sir.” ~Hogfather "I likes flying." "And I'm telling you it's too draughty on broomsticks this time of year, Esme. The breeze gets into places I wouldn't dream of talking about." "Really? Can't imagine where those'd be, then." ~Maskerade "I don't understand! Is this man mad?" Salzella put an arm around his shoulders and led him away from the crowd. "Well, now," he said, as kindly as he could. "A man who wears evening dress all the time, lurks in the shadows and occasionally kills people. Then he sends little notes, writing maniacal laughter. Five exclamation marks again, I notice. We have to ask ourselves: is this the career of a sane man?" "But why is he doing it?" wailed Bucket. "That is only a relevant question if he is sane," said Salzella calmly. "He may be doing it because the little yellow pixies tell him to." ~Maskerade "Elm Street?" he stuttered. "But...respectable ladies shouldn't go there..." Nanny patted him on the shoulder. "That's good," she said. "That way we won't run into anyone we know." ~Maskerade "Well, I'm not much good at the language, but I suppose the opening could be sung something like this: This damn door sticks This damn door sticks It sticks no matter what the hell I do It's marked 'Pull' and indeed I am pulling Perhaps it should be marked 'Push'?" Agnes blinked "That it?" "Yes." "But I thought it was supposed to be very moving and romantic!" "It is," said Andre. "It was. This isn't real life, this is opera. It doesn't matter what the words mean..." ~Maskerade "Er, excuse me," said the man as Nanny Ogg turned away, "but what is that on your shoulders?" "It's...a fur collar," said Nanny. "Excuse me, but I just saw it flick its tail." "Yes. I happen to believe in beauty without cruelty." ~Maskerade Altogether Andrews was one man with considerably more than one mind. In a rest state, when he had no particular problem to confront, there was no sign of this except a sort of background twitch and flicker as his features passed randomly under the control of, variously, Jossi, Lady Hermione, Little Sydney, Mr. Viddle, Curly, the Judge, and Tinker; there was also Burke, but the crew had only ever seen Burke once and never wanted to again, so the other seven personalities kept him buried. Nobody in the body answered to the name of Andrews. ~The Truth "But there's not a shoe shop in Wixon's Alley." "I never mentioned shoes." "In fact the only shop that is even, er, remotely connected with leather is--" "That's the one," said Vimes. "But that sells--" "Comes under the heading of leatherwork," said Vimes, picking up his truncheon. "Well, yes...and rubber work, and...feathers...and whips...and...little jiggly things..." ~The Truth "You can see he's trying to fight it! And he did lay down his life for us!" "Yes, but then he picked it up again." ~The Truth In reluctant but marvelous harmony, because no one could sing like a group of dwarfs, even if the song was "May I Suck of Water Pure,"* the dwarfs seemed to be calming Otto down. *In other circumstances it would have been as likely as cows singing "Let Me Be Covered in Rapturous Gravy." ~The Truth WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEARTS OF MEN? The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of the potato. SQUEAK, he said. Death waved a hand dismissively. WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME, he said. I JUST WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE. ~The Truth “…and I see the trees and the leaves and the stacks of books on stoops, and I think about waiting. Drew’s waiting for peace and Tory’s waiting for being grown and Keisha’s mama’s waiting for a baby and Keisha’s waiting to come home and I’m waiting to be still, and waiting is everything because when you’re done waiting, there’s either more or nothing and because it’s like the second before someone laughs when you know it will be good and it is, and when they’re done, you get to wait some more to hear it again.” ~E.R. Frank, Life is Funny “Time is tricky. You have whole months, even years, when nothing changes a speck, when you don’t go anywhere or do anything or think one new thought. And then you can get hit with a day, or an hour, or half a second, when so much happens it’s almost like you got born all over again into some brand-new person you for damn sure never expected to meet.” ~E.R. Frank, Life is Funny “When we first started, I asked why he laughed so much, and he said, like it ought to be plain as day, Because life is funny, and maybe that’s when I for real started to fall in love. ~E.R. Frank, Life is Funny "I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by." ~Douglas Adams xxxx |