Ann Chovi's Camp Journal



Day One


Another group of campers have come to learn and have fun at Camp Milk and Cookies. I’ll I’ve got to say is they’d better stay out of the “Counselor’s Only” room. After what happened with last year’s campers...well, that’s best left forgotten. That journal somehow found its way into the fire. Anyway, Roses added that nice sign to that room, and I’ve strengthened the traps. It’s not going to happen again.

The three new campers we have this year are Holli, Tails, and Tyrael. Holli and Tails seem suitably evil, but Tyrael is a little dim upstairs. They should manage quite well.

This year, I was put in charge of the mess hall. Now I can easily try out my new cookie formula! Well, as soon as Vic delivers the last ingredient. I’ll have to meet him in the woods somewhere. Roses banned him from the mess hall. He’s been sulking in the lumberyard ever since.

Roseidous has been chosen as the cabin counselor. He lost the coin toss.

~later~

Somebody drank all my cans of Root Beer laxative. I’ve been working for weeks on that!

Note to self: Get revenge on the person who messed with my Root Beer.


Day 2


All the supermodel clones have been successfully waterproofed. Well, except for that one, but she dissolved into a mass of colored bubbles, so no harm done.

Roseidous has been “drowning” all day. As soon as Stan reported Roseidous’ leopard-print Speedo was off, we stole his towel. He was having much too much fun with the clones, so I told them there was a sale at the camp store. Silly clones, there is no camp store!

Anyway, Roseidous wanted to get out of the water, but since his towel had mysteriously disappeared, he had to cover himself with the bush of Poison oak I planted by the lake last night. That will teach him not to drink other people’s experiments!

Note to self: Give Stan a day off after seeing Roseidous without his Speedo.


~Later~


Vinnie’s taken the campers for a wilderness hike. Sometimes I don’t know about that man. He ran out into the woods after the seduction lesson, and when he came back, he sheepishly asked me for a pair of nylons. Apparently he lost my fishnets somewhere in the woods. I don’t know what he wants to use the nylons for, since Roses explained to him if he needed to do another demonstration in Seduction, he can borrow one of the clones. Now that I think of it, I really don’t want to know what he’s going to do with the nylons. Maybe he needs them to rob the store. Hopefully.

Roseidous refuses to sleep in the same cabin as the campers tonight, so Roses volunteered to supervise them. Unfortunately, it’s going to be my turn tomorrow night. I need a way to keep those campers quiet the whole night.

Note: Put tranquilizers into snack tonight.


Day Three


~morning~

The good news is that the tranquilizers worked perfectly. The bad news is that Roseidous was the only one who ate the snack last night. I had just finished baking them, and he snuck into my kitchen and ate the whole batch! He didn’t even leave one! When the campers came in for their snack, I had to give them some old apples I found in the back of the fridge. They complained, of course, but I told them the green fuzzy stuff was good for them.

I finished cleaning up my kitchen and went to the counselor’s cabin which I would have to share with Roseidous. I commando-rolled into the cabin, fully expecting a trap to spring out at me. There was nothing except for loud snores coming from the back room. I glanced at the couch Roseidous was supposed to sleep on. It was empty.

With trepidation, I walked into my room and confronted a scene of horror. Roseidous lay sprawled on my bed, drooling on my pillow, wearing my green silky pajamas, cuddling with my stuffed bunny. I could not let him stay like that all night. I picked up my stick from the corner and sought to get him out of my bed.

After I broke my stick, I decided to get Vinnie to haul him to the infirmary. Roseidous did have that nasty rash to look over, after all. The rash that was touching my sheets. I suppose it was my fault for making those cookies but he didn’t have to eat them all! Though my bed was free, I slept on the couch. Hopefully tonight with the campers will be better.

Look at the time. I had better start making breakfast now.

Note: Make some stronger detergent to wash everything in my room.


~later~

Today I got my fishnet stockings back! Yay! They are a very nice spaghetti strainer. The campers want on an exciting scavenger hunt to locate them. They found Roses shoes, too.

Roses and I discussed activities for later this week, and we decided on a dance with the camp across the lake. We would have asked Roseidous’ opinion, but he was strangely gone. Camp Porkchops and Applesauce has a special ingredient in their applesauce. No matter how nicely I’ve asked for it before, they’ve refused to give it up, saying I would use it for evil purposes. You try and take over the world once and it haunts you forever. The campers are going on a secret mission to practice their skills and borrow the ingredient.

Vinnie’s going to follow them and make sure they put their skills to good use. He’s wearing the nylons right now.

Note: Give Tails the dart gun in case they run into trouble.


~later~

Their mission was a complete success, and they were out of the camp long enough for Roses and me to check all the traps in the computer room. The traps should be foolproof, but I’m going to set Stan as guard just in case. He’s a mean ferret when provoked. I just hope the campers don’t find out about his fondness for cheez crackers.

It’s time for the evening snack now. Delicious cookies, one of the staple foods that give Camp Milk and Cookies it’s name.

Note: Don’t forget to activate all the traps.


Day Four


I’m writing this by moonlight. It’s the middle of the night, and Holli and Tails are gone. Tyrael is sleeping soundly, of course. He had his fill of cookies last night. Perhaps the girls went for a late night swim.


~in the morning~

Last night, my lab was broken in to. This morning, Tails and Holli are looking very smug. I asked Stan what happened last night, but all he did was sigh with his cheez breath. Then I gave him some crackers and he told me everything.

With the help of Stan, they managed to get past the traps. All they seem to have done is to make an Anti-Tri-Leader Secret Resistance webpage. Roses thinks it’s one of Vinnie’s training exercises, but I am not so optimistic. I had better ready my flame-thrower.

They also broke into Roseidous’ lockbox last night. Lockbox. What a word. Whenever I hear the word lockbox I think of the word strategery. I don’t know why. Both are funny words, I suppose.

When I saw the campers huddled in a corner, giggling, I immediately went over and took away what amused them. They had a video which featured the talents of our compatriot Roseidous. It’s a good thing I intercepted it before it could permanently scar the young camper’s minds.

Note: Wash hands very, very well.