| "The Tri-Leader Theme Song" |
| Note: Original lyrics are by Ray Stevens, and Clyattville is a real town, I live there. -Roses |
| Ann: Yeah, they come down Main Street, drums a flailing, Sirens a-wailin', what a roar. Bands are a-playin' and flags are a-wavin', And the vanguard's a motorcycle corps. Clones are a-roamin' through the crowd and tiein' up Every purty girl who dares to smile. It's a glorious mess, everybody wears a fez The parade stretches out for miles. (Chorus) Roseidous: It's a typical American phenomenon Where all three members have a fine old time. It's the forty-third, annual convention Of the Grand Mystic Royal Order of the Nobles of the Tri-Leader Temple of the Shrine ~Meanwhile back at the Motel~ Roses: Operator? Give me room 321, please....Hello? Noble Lumpkin? This here's the 'Lustr'ous Potentate....I said it's the 'Lustr'ous Potentate....The Illustr'ous....Rosey? Dad-blame it, this here's Roses... Rosey, why ain't you at the parade?...What?...Well how'd you get that big Harley up there in your room?...What?...I cain't hear you Rosey, quit revvin' it up, boy. Turn that thing off....I just want you to know one thing. You have embarr'ssed us all, the whole Clyattville delegation. Now, I'll see you at the banquet, son, and you be there Rosey, you hear me? Black tie, seven o'clock....Be there Rosey....And Rosey? Don't answer the phone 'Uddn'uddn" Ann: Well, it was all arranged by the ladies' auxiliary In the downtown convention hall. Cold roast beef, oreos, mashed potatoes And nine boring speeches in all. And the table looked good with its milk glasses full And chrysanthemums on each side. And the two female leaders in their gowns and sequins Made Vinnie's heart swell with pride. (Chorus) ~Meanwhile back at the Motel~ Roses: Operator? 321, please. Thank you....Hello, Rosey?...What are you doin'?...Whaddaya mean, who is this? This is Roses. Why wasn't you at the banquet?...Whaddaya mean, all you had to wear was a Ha-waiian flowerdy shirt?...Well, you may think you're foolin' some people, but I know what's going on. Everybody's seen the little red-head...'At's right, ever'body. Why, she come runnin' through the dinner, right in the middle of the pineapple sherbert. Didn't have nothing on but yer fez, Rosey.....Rosey, you the only one's got a fez with bunny ears on top...Yeah, and she's yellin' out the secret code, too, Rosey. We goin' to have to change it now. Dad blame it, Rosey, we going' have to have a special meetin' when we get back to Clyattville, about yer conduct at this here convention... Embarr'ssing. Now Rosey, you be at the secret conclave tonight, you hear me? And keep it a secret. Ann: Well, it was a secret meeting in the dead of the night With mysterious sanctimony. In accordance with prescribed rituals, A time-honored ceremony. Matters of grave concerned were raised with dedicated caution Like whether or not to throw the shoes, Or draw, or spit in the ocean (Chorus) ~Meanwhile back at the Motel~ Roses: Operator? Room 32...H-how'd you know? Oh....Hello, Rosey? Where have you been?...Nooooo, you wasn't at the meeting....Well. I found out that at 3:00 this morning, you's out there in yer Fruit-of-the-Looms in the Motel swimming pool, with a bunch of them waitresses from the cocktail hour...Huh. I just hope no one else finds out about this, Rosey...What? Well, how'd you get that big motorsickle up there on the high dive, Rosey?...Now Rosey, dad burnit, that ain't no way to act. We s'posed to be leaders of the community...When we get back to Clyattville, you can turn in your milk, and your baseball hat. Cause Rosey, you are. Out. Of. The. Shrine. You goin' to be blackballed, Rosey...'At's right. You may have to pack yer bags and leave town...Whaddaya mean, you might join The Anti-Tri-Leader movement?...Rosey!...Don't you hang up on me!...No, don't you crank that motorsickle... Who's that gigglin' in the background, Rosey?...Hello?....Hello?...Operator, we was cut off. Yeah, room 321... ROSEY!!!!!!!! |