Title: Inside the Den of Iniquity (aka The OGD Clone School)
Author: DivaDelilah (divadelilah@aol.com)
Description: Answer to OGD Winter challenge to describe the goings on at the clone school.
Disclaimer: In short, not mine. Joss/Fox/SandDollar/Mutant Enemy/UPN own all.
Distribution: Fanfiction.net, Heat.Desire, my yahoogroup (spuffy_fics), anything else I okay, including award sites and various lists. Hell, just tell me where it's going.
Special Thanks: To Licious, for beating, I mean, beta'ing my story.
Feedback: Well, duh. Wouldn't you want someone to stroke your…ego?
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"We're here live with an undisclosed source, taking a BEHIND THE SCENES tour of the infamous One Good Day clone school. This is the first time anyone other than the clones, instructors and a chosen few has been inside its walls. The members of this news crew were brought here in a windowless van, and blindfolded so we could not get an idea of its location; that's how secret it is."

The camera pans around a plush room, zooming in on the thick, red velvet curtains and furniture upholstered in crimson and black brocade. A large grand piano sits on one corner, while the walls opposite the piano are filled with books, presumably first editions. The long wall nearest to the doorway is taken up by a large wet/dry bar, stocked to brim with top shelf liquors and crystal barware.

"I've been told the room we are in is the waiting room. This is the room where clones that have been given out to Mistresses wait in comfort to be picked up and taken home. Except for those lucky few ladies, we are the first visitors to darken the hallways here. Our inside source, an actual graduate of the school, will be taking us on a guided tour showing the kind of rigorous training a clone must survive to be deemed a graduate. For his own protection, we have blurred out the face of our guide, allowing him the freedom to speak without inhibition or fear of reprisal. Let's just call him…DeepThroat."

"Hey! I'm not a POOF; take it back, you nosy little-"

"Alright, let's call him…MysteryVamp."

"Right. That's sounds a bit more manly. I think I can handle that. Now, if you ladies want to follow me through these double doors, we'll start in the room where we first wake up."

The camera rolls along a long, wood paneled hallways lined with silk runners. The door at the ends opens to reveal a steel reinforced door with a keypad and fingerprint code security system. The handsome clone, seen from behind, is typing in numbers and pressing his fingers into the gelled surface of the fingerprint scanner. The door swings out, and he pulls it wide open so the camera crew can get in. Panning left and right, we can see that the hallway looks like the inside of a very nice private school, with lots of rooms behind heavy wood doors with bevelled glass windows. A big door at one end is marked 'Dormitories' and one at the other is marked 'New Recruits'.

"We are now headed towards the 'new recruits' area of the school. This is where the clones begin their journey towards graduation and eventually, finding a Mistress. Our source has told us he has fond memories of waking up here, and of the learning process he went through his first hours at the school."

The door opens and the crew enters. It is a large, hospital-styled room, with a long curtain hiding two-thirds of the room from view. It seems to be modeled after birthing rooms; sterile yet quiet, dim and comfortable. Classical music plays in the background and a hint of jasmine oil infuses the room with serenity.

"Now, here is where we wake up, usually in the beds there. Nice ones, too, covered in satin comforters and silk sheets. The back half of the room is where the tests are run, making sure we're in good shape. Most of the new recruits who are occupants of this room are probably down in the learning center underneath this room, and yes, that's on purpose. They might have let me sneak you in here, but they'd never let you see untrained clones. Bad publicity, you know," he smiles, a perfect replica of the trademark smirk with just little of his own attitude thrown in.

"It's simply amazing to see how pampered you guys are. It isn't this, I hate to say easy, but easy on you the whole way through school, is it?"

He flashes a grin. "Of course not or everyone would graduate and no one would ever get sent the Head Mum's office. And certain clones wouldn't be bullies or cut classes, etcetera. But they gotta start you out soft, or it's a bit traumatic, I'm afraid. Let's move on to the classrooms. We can peek in just a bit, since we all look slightly alike from afar," he says mischievously, obviously knowing he was breaking a rule and not caring.

He winks as he holds the door for the crew, and then speeds up to lead. The first door he opens reveals a very prim looking teacher and a class of clones repeating phrases back to her.

"Ah, yes, my favorite class: Diction. It's not easy to have a cockney accent that doesn't go out and in, especially when you sing. And some of the Mistresses are bound to want a singer. So we train two hours a day on speaking, singing, and perfecting our accent in many different ways. A lot of clones hate this class, especially since the professor is…less than interesting compared to others," he confides, another sly smile on his face.

"Are we going to visit the classrooms of some of the more interesting ones, for comparison's sake?"
"Of course. We'll pass most of the rooms on the way to the Dorms, where we can peek in a bit since everyone is either in class or below in the gym area. We can probably sneak in there, too, but all in good time."

The next door he opens is a classroom full of clones reading quietly. One clone in the corner appears to be up to some mischief, but the professor has obviously noted this as well. She stands up, revealing that she is a tall, leggy blonde with bodacious curves and full lips. As she admonishes the misbehaving clone, she comes out from behind the desk, giving the crew an eyeful of her short skirt and oxford shirt, unbuttoned almost to the waist and tied above her belly button. Every clone is listening to her raptly.

"Her twin sister teaches writing. They're like dark and light, complete opposites. But their assets, both physical and mental," he adds, smirking, "tend to keep even the most troublesome of the lot focused. And it makes for these two classes being everyone's favorites."

"You've shown us the most interesting instructors, obviously. What about the most interesting subject? What did you excel in?"
His grin widens and a mischievous glint sparks in his eyes. "Well, I'm not sure they'll let you film that class. Much less show it on TV, luv."

"And that subject would be?"

"L'art d'amour, luv. And that's putting it nicely. They don't show things on Skinemax that even come close to what goes in the 'bedroom' classes."

"So there are actually classes on…how do I put it? Bedroom etiquette and technique?"

"Of course, luv," he replies, flashing a smile that would melt the knees of any woman within ten feet. "How do you think we get such a good reputation? Those ladies in the Gutter wouldn't've been so excited with Puck had he not been trained so well."

"You do realize that narrows down the list people are going through in their minds?"

"What bloody list?"

"The list of known clones that the viewers may be going through, trying to figure out who you are. And obviously, you're not Puck."

"Bollocks. Look, it doesn't matter which clone I am. It only matters that I'm taking you on a tour of this school, something I could still get a mighty ass-chewing for, alright?" he growls in frustration, then stomps towards the next door, pausing before opening it.

"Is this a room we'll have to edit?"

"No. It's just…keep you eyes peeled for flying objects and such. We're about to enter the self-defense room. It's not the gym…that's downstairs, and we'll probably pass by there. But it's just as dangerous," he said, grinning.

The door opens to reveal is a mini workout area. The walls are padded or mirrored depending on which end of the room they are on. Punching bags, ballet barres, boxing gloves, and a small balance beam are all being used by different clones. Three short Korean girls, obviously instructors, are walking around the room, observing the progress each clone is making with their specific task.

"Is it usually so scattered? Or do you have class then work on personal training?"

"We have classes all together. These are people working out on their own time, perfecting things or working on trouble spots. This equipment is only out during one on one sessions, so to speak. But no one ever works in here without the Geisha girls watching over them," he waves to the girls, who giggle and wave back. "That's their nickname here at the school. And I'll bet none of you can guess why," he adds.

"I'm sure we can. Is that a typical happening at the school? Teachers and students…"

"Training together? Of course. Got to have people to practice with in some classes; they're a bit pointless without two people."

The view switches to the room again, providing a close-up of the small woman flipping a clone over her head and into the opposite wall. She smiles at him, and he chuckles, resuming his fighting position on the mat. The self-defense instructors are noticeably well- trained, and professional.

"Ready to see the next room? We're visiting one more room up here, then the dorms, then the bottom floor, which is rated strictly 18 and over so be ready to edit later. You'll have to," he says grimly.

The camera follows him to what seems to be the last room on this floor, and stops in front of a large oak door. In gold letters, the words 'Principal's Office' stand out, and the crew stops to peek in the door. Three clones sit on a bench in front of dour looking secretary who looks up over her typing to glare, then goes back to work. One of the clones waiting to see the Principal sticks his tongue out and waggles it, smirking all the while. Our guide pops in, dragging the crew out the door.

"Oh, hey, Liam. Long time no see. Gotta run," he calls, heading out before the wayward clone can reply, pulling the cameraman with him.

"Why aren't we seeing the Principal? It would make a great interview."

"Because I had my fill of the Head Mum while I was there. And like I said, already in enough trouble for bringing you in."

"Did you know one of the guys in there?"

"Yep. Name is Liam. Was one of the members of my…band of merry men, you might say," he replies, watching us follow to the last room to make sure we're with him.

"You had a band of some sort?"

"A coupla guys who liked to rabble rouse a bit. Nothing serious like some former students **cough** Puck and Two **cough**. Just a bunch of pranksters. You know, like hiding the teacher's clothes while she showers after gym. Guess Liam took over after I left," he shrugs. "Always knew he'd make a great leader."

"So where are we going next?"

"The last class on this floor is Home Economics. Now don't laugh, but most ladies like their clones to be able to do chores and cook and such. Due to the demand, this class was created. Not that clones are supposed to be simply housekeepers, because trust me, we're much more than that," he clarifies, sliding his tongue behind his teeth.

"And the clones are okay with doing what's traditionally seen as woman's work?"

"Woman's work! Bollocks. Idea invented by lazy men. The Mistresses of OGD clones have many important things to do; their clones want nothing but to make their lives better. And if that's by vacuuming naked, most of us are glad to do it. Usually leads to more exciting activities anyways."

He opens the door, revealing a huge room divided into sections. One section sports a fully functional kitchen; the next has a laundry room setup; the corner across from it, a baby's nursery; the last, several different household appliances and cleaning supplies. The instructor is small woman who resembles Audrey Hepburn, dressed in a very fifties looking housedress. Despite her 'Leave It To Beaver' look, she readily embraces one of the clones when he holds up a perfectly ironed blouse. He pinches her butt and she giggles.

"You'd think she'd be the only prude in the place, right?"

"Well, yes. She looks very prim and proper."

"She's the absolute favorite test subject in the bedroom classes. Not a teacher here can touch her when it comes to passion, pet. She outpaces them all."

Her eye drifts to the doorway, and she smiles at the guide. He turns to us, grins, then turns back and winks at her. She blows him a kiss, a sparkle in her eyes. He shrugs at the crew.

"See what I mean?" he leers. "Are you gits ready for the good stuff?"

"Of course. The public is simply begging to know what the more…visceral aspects of the clone school entail."

"Well, then we'll hit the gym first. Then the bed chamber," he says, glancing at his watch surreptitiously.

The camera follows him through the door at the end of the hallway. The crew passes through the dormitories on the way to the staircase to the inner sanctum. Several clones in various states of dress wave at our guide, and one approaches him, only to be shooed away. He leads them through the door in the back and into a small elevator, which also requires a security code.

"Wouldn't be a secret if we didn't keep it so well guarded," he remarks.

The doors open and he leads the crew down a very institutional looking hallway. He opens one of the two sets of large sliding wooden doors. It reveals an enormous gymnasium containing a pool, basketball court, gymnastic equipment, and a weight room setup. There are clones everywhere, barely covered in small swim trunks or gym shorts. The dark haired sister of the literature teacher is conducting a gymnastics lesson on the beam. A tall red-headed woman in a skimpy swimsuit is diving off the board, doing an amazing Triple Gainer. The clones in pool clap politely, whispering amongst themselves as she swims up to them.

"That's the Head Mum. She used to be a pro."

"A professional diver?"

"Among other things," he responds, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"Do…does everyone usually run around so scantily dressed in the gym?"

He laughs. "Of course. Strictly speaking, clothes are optional on this floor. Most people wear enough not to hurt themselves on gym equipment. But in the next class, well, usually there's little need. Shall we?"

He shuts the doors to the gym and turns to the doors on the opposite side of the hallway. Before he slides them open, he turns to the crew.

"I specifically picked a time when I knew it was likely that no demonstrations would be taking place. You certainly couldn't show that on network TV. So be warned that this may look very tame to start with."

He slides open the doors to reveal clones lounging against beanbags with a book in hand, clad only in bath towels. Some were reading conventional books like romance novels and others perused books like The Story of O or Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns. A few were reading books on sex tips and tricks, like Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man. One or two look up occasionally, nodding at the guide, but mostly they remained engaged in their reading.

"Looks pretty boring, eh?"

"Yes, it looks fairly tame."

"Give it about two minutes here," he says, looking at his watch again.

A cell phone rings and he answers, responding in hushed tones. He's clearly pleading with someone and begins speaking slightly louder.

"No, luv, I won't go visit someone else tonight. It's been forever since I've been home! I visited all those chits doing round robins and ones with headaches, I feel like a bloody library book. I want to come home and stay with you, not that those ladies weren't wonderful companionship…no, of course not better than you, pet. I'm almost done. Okay. Love you, too."

He turns back to us. "Sorry. Mistress calls, so we'll have tow rap this up quickly," he states firmly, tapping his foot and looking at the door a behind the huge four-poster bed in the middle of the room.

A tall, bronzed woman walks in. She is wearing a silk bathrobe and a sultry smile. The Mystery Vamp blows her a kiss and she catches it, stuffing it in her pocket with a grin. She walks around the bed to the end closest to the clones and hops up on it, dangling her long legs off the end and revealing a great deal of thigh as well.

"Okay, study hour's over. Who has some techniques they'd like to demonstrate?" she asks throatily. Every hand in the room shoots up and she grins again. "Typical. Who wants to demonstrate something that won't leave marks? I have to do some public stuff later today," she explains.

A chorus of groans can be heard from the clones who are obviously into the more 'advanced studies', and the others keep their hands up. She picks one, who eagerly gets up and moves toward the bed. She begins untying her robe as he approaches, asking what he plans to demonstrate today. The camera shuts off and turns back on when the crew is in the hallway with the door shut.

"Are they really going to--?"

"Of course, luv. How do you know if you're doing it right if you've no one to practice with?"

"And the other teachers…participate? That's what you meant by being guinea pigs of a sort?"

"Of course. Everyone has different tastes. For specific lessons, different teachers are called in to be test subjects. Only for exams, you understand. The instructor you just saw is the usual guinea pig, but for examinations, especially senior levels, we bring in other people to get their opinions."

"I take it this was the grand finale?"

"Do you really think this is the most shocking thing going on here? Not a chance. But the torture room is something no one outside of the instructors and students are allowed to see. Something to do with the hideous Fish Boy clones that sometimes run about inside that hellhole."

He motions for the crew to follow and they do. When the doors open, they progress out through the dorms again, and the clone that had tried to stop the guide before approaches again.

"Hey, Randy," he says. "What are you doing here?"

The so-called Mystery Vamp sighs heavily and turns to him. "Well, that just about tears it, mate. I was supposed to be a mystery informer! How the bloody hell can I be a mystery informer if you just said my name!" he growls and turns to the crew. "Might as well lift the blur, mates. It's too late now."

"I suppose that concludes our interview."

He nods. "I might as well go home to my girl. She's eagerly awaiting me."

The camera focuses on the tall, dark-haired interviewer. She smiles at the clone, whispers in his ear, and turns back to the camera.

"This has been a SPECIAL REPORT from the OGD Clone School. Tune in next week for our in depth report on Barb's sex life. Good night."

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