Title: The Closet Monster
Author: Delilah (divadelilah@aol.com)
Description: Series started by an invitation to Two and Tracy's party. Pretty
much a round robin.
Disclaimer: In short, Spike's not ours and thanks goddess, neither is Riley.
Joss/Fox/SandDollar/Mutant Enemy/UPN own them. However, we all own our respective
bots and clones.
Distribution: Fanfiction.net, my yahoogroups (spuffy_fics and delirobins), DivaDelilah's
Domain, any sites I've okayed, including award sites and various lists. Hell,
just tell me where it's going.
Feedback: Come on baby, light my fire…
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Deli stood looking into her closet like it held all the answers in the world. She reached for a hanger, then shook her head and moved to something else. Sighing, she rubbed her temples, trying to remember why in the hell she was in here in the first damn place. Oh right, the party. I promised I'd think about it. Which definately involves wardrobe selection. She stared at the dress section of her closet again, vainly searching for something in which she didn't feel like a circus elephant caught in the tent.
"I give up!" she growled, flopping down on the floor and staring at the ceiling of her closet. "I don't even want to go to this stupid thing anyways!" A stray shoe caught her eye, and she grinned. Loth loved those shoes, especially with that sundress. Oh yes. The one the baby threw up on and ruined. Who knew that spit didn't come out of spun silk?
She put her hands over her face and wondered if anyone would notice if she simply took a nap in the closet. "They'd be looking for me in a ten minutes flat," she decided, rolling her eyes and propping an arm under her head. "So what am I going to do?"
The door swung open and Trouble stalked in, giving his lounging mistress a look. "What're you doing, luv?" he asked kneeling down and giving her his patented puzzled look.
"Picking out an outfit, can't you tell?" she replied drolly.
"You don't seem to be getting very far," he replied, noting the lack of possible selections on the bed.
"Yeah, well, you try having a baby and see what does to your wardrobe options."
"Luv, there's nothing wrong with--"
"I know, I know. I've heard it before. And while it's wonderful that you love me for who I am, it still doesn't help me fit into anything that doesn't have an elastic waistband or a goofy logo on the front. Not to mention finding something that's pristine and unstained to boot," she said, her eyes raking the full closet.
"Dammit, Deli, there's a hundred bloody outfits in here that fit you! And none of them contain denim, sweatshirt material OR baby leftovers. You're just being stubborn!"
She looked at him, raised her eyebrow, and asked coolly, "Is that you'r way of trying to convince I want to go to this silly ass party? Cause if so, it needs some work."
He give her a sibilant glare, and stalked out the door, muttering to his about women and parties and 'bloody PMS', to which Deli called, "I AM NOT having PMS, you-you jackass!"
She promptly flopped back on the floor, trying to ignore the whispering going on outside her room. Every person in my house right now is conspriing against me. And they wonder why I'm paranoid.... She heaved herself up and moved to the skirts section of the closet. Maybe something calf length... One look at her legs and she discarded that notion immediately. I'll look like one of those elementary school librarians.
She let out an exasperated breath and picked up some shoe boxes, hoping to see something that would spark her interest and give her some ideas. Not that finding an outfit meant she was going, but it would certainly help her decide.
Fifteen minutes later, she was surrounded by half opened boxes with shoes hanging out of them, muttering about fat feet when Fangy peeked in. "Whatcha doin, pet?"
"Trying to find some bloody shoes! I have nothing to wear!" she cried.
Fangy looked at the four tiers of shelves running all the way around the closet, each one stuffed with labelled shoe boxes. On the floor at least twenty boxes were open, falling victim to her shoe finding frenzy. "I don't think that's an accurate statement. There're more shoes here than Imelda Marcos'. Why not this pair?" he asked, holding up a delicate low heeled sandal in silver. "It's kind of pretty."
She smirked at him knowingly. "Why wanna see how hard it is to walk in those?"
He gave her death stare, and she turned back to her boxes. "No, I just think they's look nice is all. Especially with your hair up."
"Now what does that have to do with my sh-- Oh I get it. You just want my hair up so everyone sees your handiwork. I see your plan, Mister," she crowed, standing up to find another stack of boxes to root through.
He sighed and rubbed his eyes. She certainly wasn't going to make this easy. Then again, there was very little that Deli actually made easy. "Everyone wants you to come, luv. You're the life of the party."
She snorted in a most unladylike manner, and plopped back on the floor. "Everyone wants me to go cause I get drunk and funny. It's not the same thing."
"Now that's not true. You know Lin and Di and Shelby enjoy palling around with you. And it gives Loth and trouble a chance to mingle and show you off. You'll have fun," he said, his eyes sparkling.
"I just don't know," she muttered. "I can't go naked. And if I can't find anything to wear, I'm not going!"
Fangy sighed, studying the floor for a moment. then something occured to him. Maybe Loth can talk some sense into her. He's just about as moody as her sometimes; maybe he understands. He left to retrieve the bot, only to find him deep in conversation with Loki. Bollocks, he thought. Now what?
"What's up with her?" Raj asked curiously. "She seems like she's normally so fun and outgoing.
"She's...complex, mate. Ask her bots. Got a lot going at once, pretty much all the time. Get used to it. It seems to be fairly common in women," he said, smirking.
"Hmmmm. She got Trouble pretty upset and he's kinda hard to push, unlike Loth."
"True. But I think it's more casue he's worried than anything. Wonder if something's gotten into the water with these women lately. Been a rash of strange behaviour," he mused.
"Well, maybe I can go talk some sense into her," Raj offered.
Fangy looked at him incredulously. "Are you kidding? You barely know her. She'll eat you alive.You haven't seen what this woman can do when she gets stubborn like this. We had to break down a bloody door once!"
Raj shrugged and grinned. "What a way to go. Hurricane Deli. Let me at her," he said, striding toward the bedroom cockily.
Fangy watched him go, smiling to himself. This is going to be interesting...
*********
Raj stepped into the huge walk in closet tentatively, wondering why in the hell
he'd decided to take on this particular problem. Deli was sitting on the floor,
her head on her knees, with mounds of boxes and clothes thrown haphazardly around
her. And it sounded like... she was crying? This was the spitfire they'd
had to drag out of a basement by her hair?
He approached cautiously, not wanting to scare her, since she was obviously very absorbed in her problem. Whatever it was. "Deli?" he asked softly.
She whipped her head up, staring at him with a blank look. Her eyes were red and swollen and her lip was bleeding where she'd chewed it to pieces.
She couldn't've looked like when Fangy left, or he'd have sounded the alarms, Raj reasoned with himself. So she must have done this in that little space of time. And that means she's an awful lot more upset than anyone realizes. He sat down amongst the boxes and put his hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she replied miserably, swiping at her eyes. "I'm fine."
"I might be new, but I'm not stupid," he chided. "Obviously, you're pretty upset about something. Tell me about it. It's not like I have an opinion on anything yet. I can't judge you."
She looked at him for a moment, and contemplated. She spoke softly, and he almost couldn't hear her. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Oh come now, pet. You have to have a little idea of what's got you hysterical on your closet floor. Is it the party?" She nodded slowly, and he sighed. "If it makes you this upset, don't go. To hell with it. Not worth getting all weepy over," he said, wiping a tear from her cheek with his thumb.
"I don't know why I don't want to go. It's not like I'm worried about what they think or I'm mad about something, I just...I guess I feel out of place or something. Maybe that's it," she muttered, her hands twisting a piece of tissue from the shoe boxes.
"Is that why you're tearing through your clothes like a hurricane? Because you're afraid you won't fit in?"
"No," she said, her face crumpling in confusion. "I don't know. I keep telling people that I don't know and they don't believe me. I'm just...I feel... oh hell."
He smiled to himself. The heart of it was that she wanted to go very badly. But something had stung her pride, and she was reluctant to allow herself to be subjected to that again. He offered her his hand and pulled her to her feet. "Look, pet. I haven't know you that long, but you're great to spend time with, adorable, and very sweet to boot. Every one of those guys out there adores you and there has to be a reason. Come out with us tonight and have fun; some em what you're made of."
Deli looked at him, still unsure, and hedged, "I don't have anything to wear... and the baby... and I should stay home and do so homew--"
He put his finger to her lips and looked her in the eyes. "We'll find something in here, you and I. You'll look gorgeous, and we'll all hop in the car and go to the party. Would I lie?" he asked, tweaking her nose playfully.
"I don't know you that w--"
He pulled her to him and gave her a small kiss. For the second time in two minutes, he shut her up effectively with very lttle effort. "Trust me," he replied. He swatted her on the butt, surveyed the room critically.
He was so busy trying to figure out her closet system he almost missed her soft reply. "I do." He turned and gave her another devestating grin, then went back to flipping through her dresses.
Fangy peeked in the door way, watching Deli pick up boxes and stuff their occupants into them, slowly cleaning up the mess she'd made during her tantrum. "Guess this means you're going pet?" he asked teasingly.
She sent a soft smile at Raj's back, then nodded.
"I'll be damned," he said, walking out to the living room, shaking his head. When the bots and Di looked at him curiously, he grinned. "I think I just witnessed a miracle."
The Beginning.......