Title: Coming Home
Author: DivaDelilah (divadelilah@aol.com)
Description: Set after Buffy's return. Spoilers Season 6.
Disclaimer: In short, not mine. Joss/Fox/SandDollar/Mutant Enemy/UPN own all.
Lyrics belong to the artist/songwriter/label.
Distribution: FFN, anything I okay and various lists.
Feedback: Mmmmmmmm…feedback. @dr00l@
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Buffy's mind was wandering as she and her friends were walking to the Bronze.
Since Willow brought her back, it did that a lot. Between the horrificness of
waking up buried alive, readjusting to life outside Heaven, and the enormous
pressure on her to take care of Dawn, she felt a little escapism was justified.
Apparently, she was the only one, though, because Willow and Xander insisted
on dragging her out places "to cheer her up" all the time. Like she
didn't have any reason to be out of it right now.
The only person who seemed to accept her need to simply be and nothing else,
was Spike. He would come see her every day and just be there, listening to her
talk, or just sit there in silence while she drifted off. He was the only one
she told that she hadn't been stuck in a Hell dimension; she'd been in Heaven.
And they'd ripped her away from it, reinforcing her belief that she didn't belong
there. Death is my gift. Humph. Indian givers, she thought.
"Hey, Buff? What planet you on now?" Xander joked, cutting into her
thoughts as he did constantly anymore. Buffy had never been one to well, brood,
like this. When she did, it reminded him of Angel, which made him feel ambiguous
to the new Buffy. So he tried to bring her out of the shell she was hiding in
as often as possible.
"Oh just thinking, Xand. No big. So who's playing the Bronze tonight?"
she asked, forcing herself to be cheerful and chatty Buffy. Does it really
matter in the end? When I died, it didn't matter who was playing here that night.
She stopped, realizing how awful that sounded, even in her head. She just
couldn't shake this morbidness, this feeling of all encompassing unhappiness.
And no one understood. Of course not, she thought, none of them have ever
died. I have twice now.
"It's just a cover band, but I heard they're pretty good. We can dance.
It'll be fun, right, Tara?" Willow said excitedly. She was trying so hard
to make Buffy comfortable with being alive again, and it was so hard when Buffy
seemed to withdraw further into herself every day. Not even Dawn was reaching
her anymore. Buffy disappeared all the time, and would come back to give non
committal answers about were she was. It worried her, but it always seemed like
Buffy was happier when she returned than when she left. Maybe she was going
to see her Mom's grave.
"Yeah. They play great covers of Latin music someone said on campus,"
she said. Her gaze washed over Buffy and the witch could feel the pain radiating
from her aura. She knew where Buffy was going when she disappeared. Willow had
been so worried the first time that Tara had done a small locator spell, targeting
the Slayer and any nearby demons, hoping to make sure she was safe. When it
showed Buffy in different places around her house and the shop and the graveyard
in the company of one demon, Tara had known what was going on. Buffy was hanging
out with Spike. I know the others hate that he loves Buffy, well except Dawn,
but I think he really cares. And I know he'll keep her safe. So she had
kept it to herself. She'd always thought Buffy was fooling herself about how
she felt about Spike anyway. Maybe dying had given her a new view on life.
Buffy smiled weakly, trying desperately to look excited about dancing to Ricky
Martin covers all night. Although…it might be amusing to watch Xander do
the Snoopy Dance Latin Style. A real smile broke through, and she chuckled a
little bit.
Willow and Xander whipped their heads around to look at her happily. Buffy
was laughing! She hardly ever laughed now, and anything that made Buffy look
even remotely happy was okay with them.
"Where's Anya at?" Buffy questioned. Normally she wouldn't care where
the sometimes annoying ex demon was, but it filled the silence and kept her
from drifting off.
"She's closing the shop and meeting us there. Some new inventory came
in and she felt she had to stock it immediately so she could make money on it
tomorrow," he chuckled. "But don't worry Buffster, she'll be there
to live the la vida loca with us."
Buffy smiled again, then wondered where Spike was. It was nice to have him
around; he was always cracking jokes and keeping people from watching her like
she was under glass. I think he understands that I can't take people constantly
acting like I'm going to break all the time. It was worse than being a kid again.
Shrugging, she followed the gang into the Bronze. At least I know Dawn is
at a friends house and there's no Hellbitch after her. I can try to relax and
have some fun.
Xander lead them to a table in the corner, and they all sat down. Once he sure
they were all settled, he gazed about the room. Seeing one of his work buddies
at the pool tables, he turned to the girls. "Care if I go shoot with the
guys until Anya gets here?"
Willow shook her head. "Go ahead, we don't need no stinkin boys anyway,"
she joked.
"But we do need the bathroom," Tara said suddenly. "Wanna come
too, Willow? Safety in numbers; there's always vampires in the Bronze."
She giggled inwardly, knowing that Spike was hanging out in the corner, watching
their table. If we leave, maybe he'll come ask Buffy to dance…
"Okay, baby. Buffy, will you be okay here for a few minutes?" Buffy
gave her a look that clearly said what she thought of that question and Willow
frowned. She doesn't have to be mean about it; I'm only watching out for
her. She shrugged and took Tara's hand, walking toward the back of the Bronze
with her girlfriend.
Buffy sat at the table, clasping and unclasping her hands. Maybe this was
a mistake to come here so soon. I'm not sure I even want to be around all these
people, even the gang. I'd rather be drinking cocoa and watching Star Wars
on my couch. She looked around, preparing to get up and leave, hoping
they'd all understand. She scooted to outside of the booth, getting up and running
into a wall of muscle. "Ow," she muttered, looking up to see who was
blocking her in.
Her breath caught when she saw Spike looking down at her with more tenderness
than she ever could thought he could feel. His eyes were soft, and he had his
hair in that sweet curly style he'd taken to wearing lately. She preferred it
to the hard, slicked back 'Big Bad' look he'd always favored. This hair begged
her to run her fingers through it… What the hell am I thinking? she
chided herself. Running my fingers through Spike's hair? Sheesh.
"You okay pet? I saw you start looking panicky and thought I'd come keep
you company till your mates got back." He ran his eyes over her. Same skimpy
clothes, same intoxicating scent…but something was missing from this Buffy.
She never seemed present, kind of like she was always miles away in her mind.
He wished he knew how to help her, but he didn't so he simply let her decide
what she needed from him. It kept him content to know that when she needed to
escape, she came to him.
"That was nice of you," she whispered. She watched him look her over,
wondering what he saw. Did he know that she felt like she'd left something behind
when they called her back? Like she was incomplete forever? He probably does,
she decided. Spike always knew things about her that she wasn't even aware of.
Her eyes traveled up his body, surprised to see that he had on chinos and brown
Docs with a black mock turtleneck, and of course, his duster. He looks positively
yummy, she thought. Ooh! No bad Buffy! Not yummy…he looks…lickable.
Now where the hell did that come from? Shaking her head, she met his eyes,
and every argument for him to leave fell out of her brain. "Want to sit
down?" she whispered hoarsely.
He watched her fidget for a second, feeling how fast her heart was beating.
Is it possible? he thought incredulously. Spike contemplated, then shook his
head. "I don't think your mates would want me here when they get back.
How about a dance instead?" he asked, his eyes alight with hope.
When he asked, Buffy could see William in his eyes, asking Cecily to dance
and being shot down. "Yeah," she answered before her mind could interfere.
She tugged on his duster and he took it of, laying it in her seat, then he offered
his arm. She giggles and took it, a smile taking over her face before she even
realized it.
Spike's heart sang when he saw his Slayer smile in a way she hadn't since before
Glory came to town. He could almost feel her fire starting to kindle inside
and he was glad. He had missed Buffy's spirit, her witty retorts, and her gorgeous
smile. At this point, he'd stand on his head and spit nickels if it would make
her happy again.
He turned to her awkwardly when they reached the dance floor, and suddenly,
a slow song came over the speakers. Spike's eyes scanned the crowd and saw the
blond Witch waving, a hint of a grin forming on her face. She wiggled her nose
and he knew they had been set up. Sighing with happiness that at least someone
knew how much he loved the Slayer, he put his arms around her waist loosely
and started to move.
Would you dance, if I asked you to dance
would you run, and never look back
would you cry, if you saw me crying
would you save my soul tonight
Buffy looked up at Spike in amazement. The words to this song seemed to be
written for him. He shrugged, and cocked his head towards Tara, who had rejoined
Willow at their table. The red headed Witch was obviously agitated about something,
but Tara was talking her down calmly. Buffy smiled, knowing the blond Witch
was very intuitive. She probably knows who I've been visiting when life at home
gets to be too much. She turned back to Spike and smiled at him gently, closing
her arms around his neck and pulling him a little closer.
Would you tremble if I touched your lips
would you laugh, o please tell me this
now would you die, for the one you love
hold me in your arms tonight
Spike was sure he'd died and gone to Heaven. Buffy was wrapped around him,
dancing with him, of her own free will. She was here because she wanted to be.
And she was smiling and happy. He breathed in her scent, the vanilla lotion,
the powerful blood, and her girly smelling perfume. I never knew what love
was until I met Buffy. And I failed her. I let her die, and here she is, dancing
with me as if it never happened. He tightened his grip on her unconsciously,
pulling her close enough to lay her head on his chest.
I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
you can take my breath away
would you swear, that you'll always be mine
would you lie, would you remain mine
am I in too deep, have I lost my mind
I don't care you're here tonight
Buffy's mind was reeling as she listened to the words of the song Tara had
chosen for them to dance to. Is that really how he feels about me? He can't
still feel responsible for Glory. He did everything he could, including staying
and taking care of Dawn when I died. Her heart sped up like a jackrabbit when
he pulled her closer. She could smell his unique blend of scents: leather, tobacco,
and that earthy musk. She sighed, a ripple of pleasure washing through her at
right this felt. Finally, she gave in and laid her head on his hard chest, reveling
in how sculpted he felt without that heavy coat on.
I can be your hero baby,
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
you can take my breath away
o, I just wanna hold you
I just wanna hold you, o yea
am I in too deep, have I lost my mind,
I don't care, you're hear tonight
Her head snuggled into his chest, and Spike almost moaned. If he died right
now, he'd be a happy vampire. Never would he have imagined when he asked her
to dance that he'd be so lucky. Hell, I didn't even think she'd say yes,
much curl up against me like a kitten. A hot, curvy, sexy kitten… He
stopped that trail of thought immediately, knowing if he continued down that
path, he would find a stake in his heart for sure. Even thinking about the Slayer
got him aroused, and he was hardly in the position to keep that under wraps.
His mind took a vacation from his brain, though apparently, because images of
the Slayer naked began flashing through his head in rapid succession.
I can be your hero baby,
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
you can take my breath away
I can be your hero baby,
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
you can take my breath away
you can take my breath away
I can be you're hero.
Buffy gasped when she felt a bulge pressing against her stomach, instinctively
realigning her hips with Spike's. She heard him take in a sharp breath, and
felt his body tense. Slowly, she raised her eyes to his, drowning in the intensity
she found there. Her head tilted up, and her lips parted slightly, knowing he
was going to kiss her. His lips met hers tenderly, softly, then began to coax
hers apart. When his tongue brushed her lower lip, she sighed, allowing him
access to her mouth. Her body seemed to melt against his, and she felt a heat
forming in her that she knew she hadn't felt since…since Angel. Riley had
never been able to turn her on this much with just a kiss.
Spike was lost. From the moment his lips touched Buffy's, he had lost all sense
of the world around him. Only he and Buffy existed, and she was letting him
kiss her, really kiss her. He bumped hips with her, unconsciously striving to
be closer to the heat her body was emanating. He could feel her pulse racing,
and it egged him on, making him shudder with need. He didn't know if she loved
him or even if she thought she ever could. All he knew was this felt right.
Nothing had ever felt as right as having Buffy is his arms like this.
Buffy broke the kiss off, needing to breathe, and cupped his cool cheek in
her hand. Her thumb stroked his amazingly soft lips, and she gazed into his
eyes. She swore she could see his soul gazing back at her. Wrapping her arms
around him, she pressed herself against him until she couldn't tell where he
ended and she began. And for the first time since she was brought back, Buffy
felt complete. She felt everything she had felt in Heaven and more. The world
was no longer cold, violent and ugly, but warm, safe and loving. She knew that
is was where she belonged, no matter what anyone else thought.
Buffy Summers had finally come home.