Title: Secrets Don't Make Friends (Pt 22-Confessions)
Author: DivaDelilah (divadelilah@aol.com)
Description: Set in late Season 4, after Faith has body switched and is in prison.
Adam isn't in play, Spike is working with the Scoobies reluctantly.
Disclaimer: They're not mine, but at least I treat 'em right. Joss, Mutant Enemy,
and Fox own all…I'm just daydreaming.
Distribution: Fanfiction.net, my site that'll be done soon, assorted lists and
sites, and anything I okay. Just let me know where it's going…
Feedback: Feed my addiction…pretty pleeeeeeeease with Spike on top?
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Willow and the girls rushed in, flushed and excited. Cordelia's eyes raked over
Angel, trying to ascertain whether there was any change in him that she could
see. When she couldn't tell, she looked at Willow helplessly. Tara and Anya
whispered to each furtively, never once taking their eyes off Angel.
Giles studied Willow in puzzlement. How had they known something was wrong
with Angel? Maybe Buffy had found out how to…No. That wasn't it. "Willow,
what's wrong? Did something happen at the museum?" he asked carefully.
"What? Oh no. We were just hurrying back. Um, Tara said-she said she felt
something in the air. Like a powerful magick. So we came straight back here.
You know, to check on…things," she fumbled.
"Is this true, Tara?" Wesley asked, also suspicious of the redhead's
answer. As weird as things had been in the past few days, he wasn't sure this
was a coincidence he believed in. Especially since Cordy was biting her nails
and staring at Angel like he was going to disappear.
Tara's eyes flew open, and she looked around nervously. "Y-yeah. I-I thought…W-Willow's
r-right," she stuttered, trying to look innocent.
Cordelia leaned over and whispered in Willow's ear, and the redhead shrugged.
A reverse whisper was initiated and Cordelia snickered. When the men looked
at her, she frowned. "Sheesh. There was a cute guy at the library place
checking me out. Willow wanted to know if I got his number."
A low pitiful growl emerged from Angel, and the blondes opposite him chuckled.
He glared at them, then perked his head up, as if listening to something.
'Angel, Spike says you always were a baby. Just cuz you had a seizure is
no excuse to turn into a eunich,' Buffy relayed.
Angel sighed mentally. 'Buffy, tell Spike to go fuck himself. Now is not
the time to bait me. I feel like someone ripped off my…Well, I don't feel
very good,' he said tiredly.
Buffy giggled. 'Angel, are you afraid to say 'nuts' to me? I hate to say
this, but a bit has changed since we were dating. I'm a lil bit more worldly,
and I can assure Spike says worse things when he…shut up, Spike! I can't
think straight if you're yammering in the background.' Angel snickered,
and she growled. 'And you. Do you know the things I had to see diving into
your head? Why the hell haven't you shared some of the stuff I saw you and Sp-you
do?'
"Excuse us?" Cordelia interrupted. "But I thought we were going
to all talk outside of our heads when in a group?"
The three of them looked at each other then the group guiltily. Angel's eyes
skittered to Buffy's and she grinned, flashing yellow eyes at him mischievously.
Giles gasped, and everyone turned to look at him. "Well, it's bloody freakish!
How many Watchers get to see their Slayer play with a vampire face like it's
a ruddy Halloween mask?"
Buffy looked hurt and her lower lip began to tremble. She began picking at
her nails, staring at her hands as if they held all the answers to life's questions.
A set of matching growls filled the air, and a pair of bumpy faces glared at
the elder Watcher malevolently. Spike felt a small tear hit his hand, and though
stunned to note that it was pinkish, he reacted angrily.
"That's fucking terrible thing to say, Watcher! Not only is insulting
to me an the Poof, but do you really think a teenage girl with enough things
setting her apart needed to hear that?" he asked in a low threatening voice.
"Yes, maybe I do! I have put up with Buffy doing a lot of things that
were not good for her, as a person and as the Slayer. I respect her right to
do as she pleases, but I question her judgment sometimes. I'm very glad she
is happy..dating…you, Spike, but this claim business continues to worry
and frighten me. Buffy is not just my Slayer, but she has become like a daughter
to me, and when she starts flashing vampire fangs at me, it freaks me out!"
Giles replied sharply.
Buffy raised her head, her eyes reflecting a whirling tempest of emotions.
She closed them for a second, and when they opened, they were yellow. Her forehead
ridged and her fangs slid into place, and she looked at Giles. "Look at
me. This is who I am now. I'm not a full-fledged vampire, nor will I ever be.
I'm not dying inside. I would know and what's more, they would know it. I have
powers no Slayer has ever dreamed of Giles. I can hunt better than I ever could
as a plain Slayer. The things I can hear, see, and smell are…I can't describe
it to you. It's amazing." She stood and began pacing, a move very much
reminiscent of the blonde vampire she was mated to.
"Giles, I can smell the tea you had for breakfast on your shirt where
you must have spilled it. I can smell the incense Willow and Tara burned last
night. I can smell, well, you don't want to know what Xander smells like or
that I can hear whispers in the house next door. I can people talking down the
street. I can feel every person in this room and sense things before they happen.
I sense Willow and the gang before they came in. It won't make me invincible,
not that I need to worry about that anymore, but it'll really come in handy
when I don't want to get skewered," she said with a half smile.
"Buffy, I don't mean to make you feel…out of place. But I will caution
you that I'm not sure this claim business is such a good idea. There has to
be a reason it isn't done very often," he replied.
Angel looked up. "Because humans die too easily. A Slayer…well, a
Slayer getting claimed is a once in a millennia happening. It's obvious that
with their healing and a vampire's immortality, they become completely unkillable.
Drawback is, they share pain, they share loss, they share…everything. And
lose only their weaknesses for it. It's about trust and love, Giles. Something
most vampires can't earn, nor give."
"Besides, aren't we more concerned with what just zapped the poof?"
Spike asked, raising an eyebrow. "Personally, I have no desire to greet
the prick anytime soon."
Buffy shuddered and turned away from them. Putting her hands over her eyes,
she tried to block out the memories of Angel without his soul. Her intense concentration
only led to both Angel and Spike managing to worm their way into her mind, whispering
soothing things that no one else could hear. Her whole body filled with a warmth
and peace that calmed her fears, and she thanked them just as silently. When
she turned back around, she was puzzled to see tears on Cordelia's face. She
was just about to say something when the ex-cheerleader moved to the stairs,
silently exiting the room.
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The brunette slipped away from the crowd easily, locking herself in the upstairs
bathroom. She'd known this would happen when she asked Willow to do the spell.
But maybe it would work itself out. She couldn't see Spike letting Angel horn
in on his woman, and the three of them couldn't form some weird couple for very
long. Perhaps she should do what she planned in the first place. Let Angel do
what he needed to, and love him, hoping he'd eventually come back to her.
A knock on the door startled her out of her musings, and she sniffled, then
called, "Just a minute." She looked in the mirror, happy to see that
no makeup had run, and her eyes weren't puffy from crying. Maybe no one will
be able to tell, she thought. She opened the door and cocked her head to
the side in confusion.
Spike smiled at her gently, a look she'd only ever seen him give Buffy. "Look,
pet, I know this is hurting you. And I wish it didn't. But Angelus, Angel, has
a long history with Buffy and I, quite possibly the only two people he'd ever
loved until you. This claim, the thought sharing…it has made him feel freer
than he's ever felt with a soul. And we're trying hard not to succumb and endanger
us all. But he needs your help, because Buffy and I, well we don't have very
much luck with restraint."
Cordy smiled, and closed her eyes, praying she was doing the right thing. "You
don't have to," she whispered. Clearing her throat, she continued, "You
don't have to show any restraint. Angel was having those seizures because Willow
found a spell from Jenny Calendar, you know the gypsy he killed that dated Giles?
And it anchors his soul permanently. He's safe…for everyone."
The blond vampire stared at her gaping. "Y-You mean?" he stuttered.
She nodded. "And I'm telling you because I had Willow do it, knowing…knowing
that he'd go to you and Buffy. I can't deny him that, Spike. I just can't. Just
make sure he doesn't forget about me, okay?" she asked, a slight smile
crossing her features.
Spike blinked his eyes, still dumbfounded. "Pet, I don't know how to-You've
just- Has anyone ever told you that you are quite possibly one of the most generous
people on the planet?"
She shook her head. "Not in those words, no."
"Then I'm glad I did. But I have to know, why even tell me? You know what
he'll do…where he'll go. Wouldn't you be better off taking him home and
showing him yourself?"
"Because I want him to be happy. Unfortunately, I know this is what will
make him happy right now. Maybe forever, but I doubt that. I think he'll come
back to me, and when he does, I'll be waiting," she sighed.
Spike nodded, still in awe of the size of this seemingly selfish girl's heart.
"He will come back, pet. I can guarantee that. But I can't guarantee when
or for how long. A Sire's pull is… well, kind of like a shoe sale to a
woman. Irresistible," he said grinning.
"Who am I to argue with that?" she laughed. "I know he'll need
to do his thing once in awhile. And I suppose I can deal with that. Just promise
me this?"
"Anything, luv. You have earned my eternal gratitude," he said gravely.
"Cut him in on this claim thing. I'd really like to see Angel in the sunlight,"
she whispered. Clearing her throat and taking a final swipe at her eyes, she
moved past Spike to the stairs, fixing a plastic smile to her face that didn't
agree with what she felt in her heart.
The vampire watched her make her way back into the crowd, chatting like she
hadn't just handed the man she loved over to the two people in the world he
loved more than her. Sometimes humans are remarkable, he thought.
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I can't wait! Deli, this is awesome!