Title: Secrets Don't Make Friends (Pt 5-When In Doubt, Do What You Know Best)
Author: DivaDelilah
Description: Set in late Season 4, after Faith has body switched and is in prison.
Adam isn't in play, Spike is working with the Scoobies reluctantly.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even clean underwear. (j/k) Joss, Mutant Enemy,
and Fox own all else…I'm just daydreaming.
Distribution: Fanfiction.net, assorted lists, and anything I okay. (like you'd
want it!)
Feedback: Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly……
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Meanwhile, Buffy was busily distracting Spike on her own by running her tongue
over his earlobe as he read, her hand massaging one of his thighs absently.
Growling under his breath, Spike turned to Buffy and ground into her ear, "If
I were you, pet, I'd be wary of playing with fire. The Witches and the Watcher
are already looking at us suspiciously. And if you don't quit doing that, they're
going to be getting a free show on the table over there."
"What if I don't care?" Buffy asked, almost holding her breath in
anxiety. "What if I don't want to hide anymore?"
Spike's eyes widened. The implications of that whirled through his head madly.
Was she crazy? They'd stake me for sure, especially Soldier Boy. But it must
mean she feels something for me…maybe I'm not just a replacement for Angel
again. Do I want to take the chance with her? What do I feel for Buffy? What
do I say? Spike finally settled on being cautious, for her sake. "Um,
luv, I don't know if that's really a good idea…"
Buffy struggled to keep herself from physically recoiling form his rejection.
"Fine then," she said, jumping up out of his lap like she had been
stung. "I don't care whether you're ashamed of me or not." She stalked
out the house, breaking into a run at the corner, hoping to outrun the pain
of being rejected by another vampire. Tears pricked her eyes as she sprinted
harder. How he could he be so caring when we're alone and not feel anything
for me? Angelus' words came back to her 'Really, I thought you were a pro…I
mean, you can't think it meant anything, right?' and she choked back a sob.
Her feet started moving in an all too familiar direction of their own volition.
Spike watched her retreat down the street, trying to decide whether he should
go after her or not. He had a sneaking suspicion he knew where she would end
up. Raking his hand through his hair in frustration, he got up and strode out
the door, starting to sprint at the end of the walkway. If I don't find her
and she gets hurt, it'll be the end of me. And if she were hurt because of me,
I'd hand Harris the bloody stake myself. Another thought struck him and
he shivered to the core. I'm turning into my poncy Sire…the Slayer's
lapdog and proud to be it.
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Buffy unlocked the door of Angel's apartment clumsily and threw herself on the
satin comforter. Since he'd moved to LA , he'd given her the keys in case she
needed to hide out. She'd never told anyone, but she went there all the time
to feel close to the only person who'd understood her completely. When she sat
on Angel's bed, she felt all her troubles at home, school, with the gang or
Riley disappear. No one knew Angel had signed it over to her… it was solely
hers.
Hot tears streaked her makeup as she remembered the last time she'd sprinted
here, 2 years ago, scared and wet and thankful to be alive. Why do I have
such bad taste in mates? I can't even be with a human…demons are the closest
things to my equal, ironically enough. I was put on this planet to kill them,
not date them. Am I destined to be alone forever because I'm the Slayer? Or
am I just that bad in bed? And why was Spike so tender and gentle with me if
I'm just another diversion till he gets his chip out or his 'Princess' back?
Angel, you have no idea how much damage you caused by letting me fall in love
with you…
Sniffling, she changed out her clothes and slid into one the silk shirts that
always managed to smell like Angel regardless of how many times she wore them.
And for a brief moment, she wished herself back to a time before Angelus; the
nostalgia only lasted for a second, though, as Spike's devilish smirk filled
her mind. No, she wouldn't trade anything she had now for what had been. If
only Spike could love her, it would be perfect. Well, not perfect
but as perfect as life can be if you're the Slayer and her vampire lover living
on the Hellmouth, she thought wryly. She sighed heavily and curled around
a large pillow, her tears falling until her body finally gave in to its exhaustion,
still murmuring Angel's name through her tears.
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