Sept. 28,
2003 - p2
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Our
resident rockstar gives advice!
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Carnage:
Will He Ever Leave?
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Like Spider-Man, there will always be spot open in the Bugle for Carnage, the symbiote. Just when you think perhaps he has withered and died, he shows up ripping people apart. |
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Do
you have a problem? RollerGirl advises New Yorkers on life, love, and
lottery. If you would like to ask RollerGirl for advice, post a letter
on our message board.
Dear RollerGirl, My friend Ali won't get nakid in public for some reason, I think it could possibly have to do with the fact that she's embarassed that I look better nakid! Also, Gambit won't let us put make up on him and turn him into a drag queen. How do I get my friends to stop being such hard asses? Thanks,
The Superstar!
It sounds to me as if your girl Ali has a self-esteem problem. The solution to this is to simply reassure her that her body is all that, and a bag of chips. If this doesn't work, just get her very drunk. Those clothes will come off in no time! As for "Gambit," perhaps he feels threatened or intimidated in dressing in drag in front of two females. Most men who dress in drag never feel quite as comfortable in looking beautiful as women do. Take him on a shopping spree and let him pick out anything he wants, without imput from you. Although, I have heard that pink evening gowns seem to do the trick. Hope
this helps, RollerGirl |
On Friday night, September 25, at approximately 10pm he was spotted coming out of the sewers, with Spider-Man on his heels. Behind them, bodies were lying scattered for three miles. |
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It is believed that Carnage and Spider-Man have formed a partnership, and are now running rampant through New York City. No place is considered safe, and it is suggested that the populace remain behind locked doors for the time being. Police are baffled as how to bring down the super-powered criminals. A very reliable source has reported that Carnage's symbiotic suite reappears every time he bleeds, and Spider-Man is never there when you want him to be. It seems as though this is an impossible task to complete. This reporter is just wondering where the days of hunting down normal 'human' criminals went. And one has to wonder, with all the hype regarding mutants, tourists always find their way to New York, when there are thousands of other cities to visit. |
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Obituaries
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Sandy
Caprice, 1960-2003 Sandy
Caprice, age 27, was the mother of three and was born right here in
New York to her Martha and Bob Williams. Sandy was a ray of sunshine
that lightened a darkened world, plagued with criminals. She had always
remained optimistic about everything, believing that even in the darkest
of days there was a ray of light to be found. Sandy's bright light
was darkened tragically, when she was ripped from her car by the monster
named Carnage. There will never be anyone who could take her place
in our lives, in the lives of the children and husband she was forced
to leave behind. |
Michael Manning, Jr. 1985 - 2003 Mikey, 18, was the light and love of our hearts. He was kind to all he met, willing to lend a hand to all. From the day he was born, we knew he was destined for greatness. His precious life was cut in its prime when an unknown mutant attacked the bus he was taking to school. Mike was the star linebacker at his high schoo, maintained a 3.4 GPA, and was involved in several clubs. His death has left a hole in all the lives he touched. We will never stop missing him. obituaries continued on p3 |
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