In grade school, asked to define bacteria, Erap answers: "It's the
backdoor of the cafeteria."
***
At a beach resort, Erap's friends take a motorized banca to go to a
nearby island. Rushing to the shore, Erap calls out to his friends, "Hoy!
Wait!" but the banca speeds away. Erap picks up his binoculars, focuses
on his friends in the banca, and softly says, "Balik kayo! Sasama ako!"
***
Asked why he regularly patronizes a certain restaurant, Erap says "I
like the ambulance."
***
Arriving at a French restaurant with his son who was driving the car,
Erap tells him to ask for valet parking. And Erap says "val-et."
Erap's son corrects his father: "Val-ey parking."
Once inside the restaurant, Erap tells his son that they'll have
buff-et.
Again, the son corrects the father: "Buff-ey"
After lunch Erap asks for the bill. Then he tells his son, "I left my
wall-ey in the car."
***
Erap defines philology as the study of Filipino grandfathers.
And pathology as the study of ducks.
***
Erap, on being praised for easily remembering people's names, says, "I
have a pornographic memory."
***
Rushing from his office to attend a gathering of former army officers,
Erap is asked by his secretary where he is going?
"I am meeting with some retarded generals."
