>
> THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR MAIL AND INDEED I APPRECIATE YOUR INVOLVEMENT AS A MATURE MIND AND ON THIS NOTE I CAN SAY THAT WE ARE CURRENTLY INTO BUSINESS AS THIS $30,000,000.00 THAT IS OWNED BETWEEN MY HUMBLE SELF AND MORGAN SON YOUR CLIENT IS REQUIRED TO BE GUARANTEED IN TERMS OF PROPER CHANELLING INTO BUSINESS IN THE UNITED STATES BY FIRST OF ALL RAISING AN AFFIDAVIT OF FACT OF GUARANTEE TO ME THAT MY SHARE WILL BE ADEQUATELY BE SAFEGUARDED FROM A COUNTY COURT.
OK, well, first let me note that I'm relieved this isn't another damned paternity suit. I can't tell you how many times I've told that punk kid to keep it in his pants.
Now on to business: I'm not quite following you here. You're stating that Don Morgan Jr. (hereafter referred to as "my client") owes you $30 Million for some business deal? I don't think that should be much of an issue. I've not recently met with the Morgan's accountant, Mr. Anderson of Enron Accounting, but I believe my client should be able to cover that out of his annual allowance.
As to the affidavit, I'd be happy to draft one up for you, however, this would not be covered under my current retainer with Don Morgan Sr. so I'd have to charge you my usual rate. What exactly are you needing the affidavit to specify?
> THIS MONEY THAT HE IS INHERITING AS A RESULT OF THE DEATH OF HIS RELATION (JOHN CREEK)MUST BE DUELY CLAIMED BY FIRST OF ALL PUTTING UP AN APPLICATION LETTER TO THE MANAGEMENT OF UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA PLC LEGAL DEPARTMENT WHICH I WILL APPROVE AS THE DIRECTOR OF LEGAL SERVICES.
I'm terribly sorry, but I'm not following you here. The money that my client will be inheriting will be from his biological and legal father, Don Morgan Sr. I know of Don Morgan Sr.'s holdings in the Caribbean, but I'm not aware of any holdings in Africa so I'm not sure what Application Letter is required here. Also, I have no idea who John Creek is, especially if we're getting back to a paternity suit. I'm sure my client has never been to Africa so you're going to have a tough time proving paternity. I suggest you drop this line of inquiry immediately or face slander and or libel charges.
>SECONDLY THE DETAILS OF THE BANK WHERE THIS FUNDS WILL BE TRANSFERED INTO IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA BY DEBITTING OUR ACCOUNT IN THE CHASE OR PNC BANK IN THE UNITED STATES TO CREDIT THE SAID TENDERED ACCOUNT.
If I'm following you here, and we're back to the business dealings from your first paragraph, then yes, we will need your back information so we can transfer my client's $30M into it. Please send that information and I will forward it onto my client's accountant, the afore mentioned Mr. Anderson.
>THIRDLY COPY OF THE INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OF HIM BEING THE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND.
Sorry, but I'm lost here again. What fund, what beneficiary, and why do I need his passport?
>I AWAIT YOUR REPLY SOONEST AS HIS REPRESENTATIVE WHO WILL TRAVLE TOLONDON FOR THE SIGNING OF FUND RELEASE ORDER.
Now hold on here. My client never mentioned that I'd be required to travel, nor do I see any need to do so. If my client is simply transferring $30M to an account of yours, this can be handled completely electronically and in an afternoon. I fail to see why my legal services are required, never mind any travel to London. Please explain. Also, at my age, my eyes have a difficult time reading your text. Is there a reason you're sending it in ALL CAPS? My salary is not high enough to justify dealing with that punk kid's messes.
Regards,
Mr. Phineas Barnum, Esq.
And Junior responds too, even though the message was intended for his lawyer. Edom did this a lot, requested I forward his email to Barnum, even though he had already sent it to him as well.
> **NB: YOU NEED TO SEND SOME MONEY TO " MR. UKAUWA
> MIKE IKE" ADDRESS: (LAGOS NIGERIA)FOR DHL OF
> DOCUMENTS OF APPROVALS OF WHAT YOU WILL GIVE YOUR
> LAWYER" THIS MONEY WILL BEAR YOUR NAME SO THAT THE
> MINISTRY OF HEALTH WILL HAVE IT ON RECORD THAT YOU
> ARE CTUALY THE NEXT OF KIN OKAY AND IT IS ONLY
> $1,000.00 BY WESTERN UNION ONLY.
Is that American dollars or, like, Nigerian dollars or something? And what kind of address is "LAGOS NIGERIA" ? Don't I need a city or a country or something? And I think you confused my dad's lawyer. He called me up and he was all "Yo! What's with this Edom dude?"
> THIRDLY COPY OF THE INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OF HIM
> BEING THE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND.
You need a copy of my passport?
> I AWAIT YOUR REPLY SOONEST AS HIS REPRESENTATIVE WHO
> WILL TRAVLE TOLONDON FOR THE SIGNING OF FUND RELEASE
> ORDER.
Dude, I need to travel to London? Cool, I guess I could stop off there after I hit Amsterdam - that's cool shit, legal dope and the babes showing off their yaya's and stuff.
Later
Don