1) Tyr naked

2) Crewmate spying on Tyr naked

3) Beka

4) The phrase: "Oh my god!"

5) White hand lotion

6) Naked Harper

7) Tyr strangling Harper
 
 

"Let go! Let go! It wasn’t my fault." Harper gasped as Tyr’s hands tightened around his throat. "I swear I had no idea they’d blame you for the uhm… mess in the princesses apartments."

"They. Threw. Rotten. Fruit. At. Me!" Tyr growled, as Harper batted futilely at Tyr’s arms.

"I know, I’m really sorry." Harper managed to squeak out before his airway was completely blocked. He was staring to turn an alarming shade of blue before Beka appeared behind Tyr and zapped him on the butt with a light stun from her force-lance.

"Alright! I’ve had enough of this. Harper, you are going to make a formal apology to the Royal household about sneaking into the women’s quarters and partying until dawn. Then you are going to drag a mattress into the cargo hold and stay there until we get back to the Andromeda. Is that clear?"

Harper was lying gasping on the Maru’s deck-plate. "’K, whatever you say Boss."

"Good. Tyr… shower. Now. You stink."

Tyr huffed and headed back to the crew quarters as Beka made sure that Harper opened a channel to the Palace and made a hasty apology.

"Beka do I really have to stay in the…"

"YES! I swear you and Tyr have been rubbing each other up the wrong way this whole trip. Don’t think I don’t know that you left his name written in chocolate syrup on that rug on purpose. Now go, before I decide to strangle you myself."

Harper pouted and pulled one of the spare bedrolls down to the cargo hold. He made himself comfortable, rubbed some hand lotion into his bruised neck and wondered how he was going to keep boredom at bay for the three days it was going to take them to get back to the Andromeda. An evil grin crossed his face and he pulled out his interface jack and slipped into the ship’s systems.

Tyr was still in the shower! Harper was just about to hack the shower controls to send a burst of ice-cold water over Tyr when he noticed the rhythmic movements Tyr was making.

Oh my God. Harper thought. Tyr is jerking off in the shower. And he looks really hot doing it too.

Harper’s consciousness returned to his body and he realised his clothing was quite a bit tighter than it had been previously. Quickly stripping off he returned to VR and tried to get a closer view of Tyr. Harper mentally cursed the Maru’s inferior surveillance system, as he could only see Tyr’s back and the jerky motions of his arm.

Harper was vaguely aware of his hand reaching down to stroke himself as he continued to watch Tyr. He could hear the soft sounds of water running down the drain, Tyr’s rough breathing and the slap of flesh on flesh. It was all over far too fast for Harper: he collapsed on the bed with a sigh and detached the interface jack.

Five seconds after hacking the shower controls and turning the water ice-cold.
 

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