Back when I prayed for a husband one thing I asked for was not to have a husband like I had seen where I went to church! I would have rather been single than to have been treated like a possession with no mind consideration of my being a person with feelings, dreams, and desires.
My Father did answer my prayer in many ways. We both were older so we have both had our own homes, and been independent in having to decided what, how, and the who in our lives.
When I married I found we both loved what the other one was. Our lives up to that point had made us who we were. At no time have we tried to make over the other one. We each day love each other for who they are. We live together in harmony. I respect him so much. It is out that respect that I look up to him, admire him and adore him.
We talk things over, and in major decisions we weigh what is best and the best choice is chosen regardless of who came up with it. It is a choice we make as a couple in love and over what we both like or want. If at any time he thinks it is best we not do it even after we have talked it over, weighed all the pros and cons then out of consideration for his wisdom and respect to my Father as him being the one He set over the family to care for it I am in complete agreement. Most times it is a mutual agreement.
I hear other men say they will not let their wife do this or that. He says I am grown up, have my Fathers Spirit, and I make good choices. He tells me I do not have to ask him for permission to do anything. I share with him what I want to do, or need to do. When I go off shopping sometimes I see that longing in his eyes that says, I want to go and be with you. When I ask him to come to it is like I have handed him the moon and stars!
I wanted to take a part time job. It was just the two of us. He at that time was at home doing things. I got up in the morning and he had my breakfast made for me. I came home and he had a meal for me. He does all the clothes washing. Why? He says it is his home and he loves helping me.
I never have felt that when he married me I was then owned by him. He adores me, spoils me. When he looks at me with that million dollar smile, and his eyes twinkle like diamonds I feel like I am the most loved woman on earth!
I tell him that I found a treasure chest, when I opened it was filled with jewels of his love.
A wife that is adored and loved, will from her love to her husband will want to please him, do for him. Put a choke chain on her and she will feel trapped like an animal. She is not a slave, but a lover and a help mate. He is not a slave, but a protector and lover.
Of all the things in my life that I have been given outside of being my Fathers child is the gift of my husband and our son. Our son shows traits of being just like his dad. He too has me spoiled rotten. I tell him his wife is going to be so blessed. A son or daughter is learning how to be a mate and parent from the way he sees his home life lived.
A husband is told to love his wife as the Messiah loved the assembly. To love her as in 1 Cor. 13: To love her as his own body. She is told to obey him only in the Messiah. So he is not over in every thing. She is not to instruct him in religious things nor to take away his authority in it, by doing that. Only in the Messiah leaves a lot of room for her to be her own person.
© Mary's Treasures of Jott'em Downs Mary Lois Bierman
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