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Story by Joanna C, no linking or archiving without permission and acknowledgement. Angel and Buffy characters belong to Fox, Joss Whedon etc. used without permission but for entertainment only (no profit). Feedback adored.

This story is a sequel to Karaoke Kids.

**

City of Angels: A Very Karaoke Christmas

The Hyperion was festooned with Christmas decoration. Angel put the finishing touches on a wreath of holly and stepped back from the desk with a proud grin.

“There,” he said. He looked expectantly skyward for a reaction, and moments later, the wreath adjusted itself.

“Thanks, Dennis,” he said to the air. A bulb decoration shot off the tree and smacked him in the eye. “Or Jenny,” he hastily corrected. “And can we please find a less violent way of identifying ourselves?”

The condescension of his royal ‘we’ merited another smack with the ornament.

“Sorry,” he grumbled, feeling his holiday cheer slide away from him. “A guy tries to do something nice for his girlfriend and his two undead roommates, and this is what he gets for his troubles?”

The ornament floated contritely to the table.

“She’ll be home soon,” he told his invisible companion. His smile widened again. “And with Giles and the gang coming up on Wednesday, you’d almost think we really were running a hotel here…”

The ornament jumped a little as the air was pierced with a jaw-dropping shriek. Angel spun toward the sound. “Cordelia?”

“Oh my god!” She greeted him with a distracted kiss before stepping away from him and taking in the decoration once again. “Oh my god, Angel, what did you DO?” she marveled, turning in a circle, eyes sparkling.

“Do you like it?”

“It’s gorgeous! This is, like, the best day EVER! Who says Mondays suck? It’s my one Prof Tsuji-free day, I spent the whole morning doing my thing on Campus Radio, which is ALWAYS fun, then I come home to the sweetest boyfriend ever whose gone and made my creepy abandoned hotel all pretty, and it’s the holidays and all my friends will be here…”

He gave her an indulgent kiss. “Well, go wash up,” he told her.

“What about training?”

“We’ll have to skip it for now,” he said. “Kate’s coming over.”

“With Jem?”

“Of course with Jem.”

Angel smiled. He still found the nickname amusing. When Kate and Lorne had named their baby, they had not realized that the child’s namesake had already established a ghostly presence at Angel’s hotel to keep an eye on things. Keeping track of TWO Jenny’s---even if one of them was dead---quickly grew confusing, and baby Janna Marlena had quickly become “J.M.” ---which had just as quickly abbreviated itself to the cuter, simpler “Jem.”

Cordelia clapped her hands delightedly. “Best day EVER!” she squeaked. “I have to go wash up. Dirty people, not touching the baby…”

He watched her rush off with an indulgent smile. “We’re doing good,” he told the air contentedly. “We’re doing pretty good.” The air was still and unresponsive, and he couldn’t be sure who---if anyone---was listening.

**

Buffy Summers was tired. Who knew work could be so much---work? She was grateful to Kate for getting her an in with the Sunnydale PD, although she still had another six months of academy classes before she was ready for active duty---and going it part-time, as she was, was certainly slowing the process down. But between an early-morning investigative procedures lecture, a mid-morning forensics lab and an early afternoon target practice at the range…well, it had been a full day. And she still had patrol to look forward to, never mind dinner, dishes and helping Dawn with her homework. As she drew closer to her warm, safe home, she felt her energy slowly trickle back to her. Dawn would be there. Giles would be there---he’d smile, ask her how her day had been, then wrap her poor, tired body in his strong arms, and…

She opened her front door and was assailed by the unmistakable sound of retching and whimpers. Darn. That couldn’t be good…

“Giles? Dawn?”

She wrinkled her nose and followed the trail into the downstairs bathroom. Giles was crouched on the tile floor, holding a shivering, quivering furball in his lap.

“Giles! Oh my god, are you…”

He turned to face her, and she saw with relief that his face was calm and his smile was healthy. Alamo, on the other hand, had seen better days.

Buffy sank to her knees. “Thank god,” she exhaled. “I mean, poor Alamo and everything, but for a second, I thought…”

He nodded. “Figured it was best to bring him in here,” he said quietly. “Much easier to clean it up off the tile…”

Buffy reached out a timid finger and touched the dog carefully. “Is he okay? Did he get into something?”

“Entirely possible. Though I haven’t seen any…well, pieces…”

“Ewwwwwww.”

“I’m sorry.” He loosened his grip on the dog and wiped his palm across his sweaty brow. “I’ve been at this quite a long time, and I expect my tact is wearing some…”

She kneeled down beside him and squeezed his hand. “Poor baby. But where’s Dawn? How’d SHE get out of vomit patrol?”

He smiled faintly. “She’s packing. I hadn’t the heart to disturb her.”

“Packing? We don’t leave for two more days!”

“She’s so excited. She loves Los Angeles.”

Buffy snorted. “Yeah. Having the run of an abandoned hotel, with hovering Angel, an adoring Cordelia and cute widdle baby handy anytime you find yourself a little lonely…”

Giles grinned. “Meant to tell you. I made a trip to the mall today myself. Would you believe they actually make Santa suits in teeny tiny baby size?”

“You didn’t!”

“Well, it’s her first Christmas, Buffy,” he said. “And I AM her godfather, after all…”

“You and, like, 10 others.”

He straightened defensively. “So?”

“So nothing,” she sighed. “Look, it’s been a long day, and I was expecting to come home to a happy shiny husband ready to go kill some vampires with me. Barfing dog, not really fitting into the equation.”

“Well, it’s not like this isn’t somewhat out of MY league too,” he told her. “I admit, I panicked at first, but once Wesley explained to me that as long as you don’t…”

“Wait, Wesley? You called Wesley?”

“Well, who else would I call? He does have some experience with puppies…”

Giles fidgeted uncomfortably, adjusting the dead weight of the almost-sleeping dog.

“Well, it looks like he’s settling,” said Buffy, patting the exhausted bundle in Giles’ lap. Look, why don’t I do patrol solo tonight? You stay here, get cleaned up a little…and when I come back, we’ll have a late dinner and get all caught up on things, okay?”

He leaned heavily against the wall. “Right. Very good.”

She rose to her feet, then stopped and regarded him critically. “You did know that when I say ‘caught up’ I mean sex, right?”

He closed his eyes. “Be careful out there.”

It had been a long day.

**

Wesley shrugged out of his leather duster and hung his key on the key rack that had been his latest addition to the décor---and smooth running---of Caritas.

“Charles?” he called into the abyss. “Lorne?”

A vaguely greenish horn popped up from behind the counter. “Hey pardner.”

“Evening, Lorne,” said Wesley genially. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Lorne straightened. “I own this bar.”

“Well, yes. But it’s getting late, we open in an hour, and you’re a family man now. Now that we’re past the new moon rush and we’re rid of all the werewolves for awhile, I suppose I assumed you’d be taking advantage of the down-time to enjoy your daughter.”

Lorne shuddered. “Right, That.”

“Trouble in paradise?” asked Wesley, brow furrowing in concern. “Is Jem all right? And Kate, is she…”

“Oh, KATE’S fine,” said Lorne. “Kate’s wonderful. Kate’s perfect. There has never been a better Mom than Kate.”

“I’m sensing a ‘but’ here,” said Wesley.

Lorne sighed. “I love ‘em both, I really do, Wes, don’t get me wrong. Just---being so busy the last few weeks with all the new moon goings on…I guess I was a little TOO busy to notice how…how small Jem is. She’s tiny, Wes. TINY. And helpless. And fragile. The other day---I held her for a few minutes, and I guess I held her a teensy bit too close, and it seems her delicate baby skin isn’t tough enough yet to handle a dad with scales…”

Wes smiled. “My father had a beard when we were children. I remember peeking in on baby Fiona one night to find her cheek a little raw from where she’d rubbed against it.”

Lorne’s eyes narrowed. “This isn’t the same. I have scales, Wesley. And horns! And there SHE is all small and weak and dependent, and what am I? A big scary demon with three-headed blue customers who commit adultery with themselves!”

“Now, you’re being too hard on yourself,” said Wesley. “I’m sure you’re a wonderful…”

“No,” said Lorne sadly. “I’m not. I love the little thing, I really do, but just between you and me? She scares me a little. What if I hurt her? What if she needs me to do something, and I do the wrong thing?”

“That will happen regardless of whether you are a demon or not,” said Wesley. “Lorne, all parents make mistakes. No parent is perfect…”

“Katie is,” said Lorne, starting to choke up a little. “Katie is, Wes. She knows how to feed her, how to hold her…”

“It’s been your busy time of year,” said Wesley. “It’s a big season for holidays and rituals. You simply haven’t been home enough to practice.”

“I’m a terrible father,” snuffled Lorne. “When Katie finds out, she’ll be so disappointed!”

Wesley shook his head. “You need practice is all. Would you like me to help you?”

Lorne turned on Wes with hungry, desperate eyes. “You can do that?”

“Of course I can. I have it on good authority that Kate still has some Christmas shopping to do. What say you and I persuade Cordelia to take her to the mall tomorrow afternoon, hmmm? You and I can watch the baby and perhaps go over a few things, all right?”

Lorne exhaled, his relief palpable. “I don’t know how you know this stuff,” he said. “And I don’t care. I want to be a good father, Wes.”

“I know you do. You ARE a good father, Lorne.”

“She’s so small and tiny.”

“She’ll grow.”

Wesley let the silence fall between them for a moment. “Now, how are we on Jubalian entrails?” he finally said, clapping his hands together briskly. “Fully stocked?”

The patrons were already lining up at the door. Night had fallen.

**

Lilah Morgan sat nude on the edge of the hot tub and dangled her feet in the water.

“I’m bored,” she told Kevin.

Kevin the Chaos demon climbed out of the tub, then dipped his head in the murky water to rinse his antlers.

“Huh,” he answered.

“I mean, it’s the holidays,” she complained. “Nobody’s up to anything because they know that if they get into trouble at THIS time of year, their moms will kill them---in some cases, literally---when they get together for the Christmas or Hannukah or Anniversary of the Ascension of the Demon Kolath dinner…”

Kevin shrugged, then grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped it gently around his antler-misshaped head.

“I’m BORED,” she whined again. “Kevin, what are we going to DO?”

“I dunno.”

“Well, didn’t you find anything today? During reconnaissance?”

“I made the rounds,” he told her. “You know, the White Room, top five portal hot spots, Caritas…”

He dried an already slightly slimy hand on the corner of her bathrobe, then reached for a manila envelope he had deposited on the end table. “Well, have a look…”

She grabbed the photographs from his hands with an irritable grimace. “You shouldn’t have brought these in HERE, dummy. It’s all wet and damp and stuff!”

“I’m at my cleanest,” he shrugged. “And it’s the biggest room we have…”

She waved him away. “Quiet, I’m concentrating, and…hello, what’s this?”

She held the print up to the light and studied it carefully. It was Kate, Angel’s friend, and she was holding a roly-poly widdle baby in her arms.

Kevin shrugged. “She’s shacked up with the barkeep,” he said. “The brat is theirs.”

Lilah leveled her eyes at him with a snort of impatience. “I find that highly unlikely. She’s human, and he’s…god only knows what he is. Does this baby LOOK like it’s theirs?”

“Well, what do you want from me?” he grumbled. “You said take pictures, and I took the pictures, and…”

“Fine, fine. This is a development, Kevin. I need to think.” With a wave, she dismissed him. She was so caught up in her scheming that she completely forgot to empty the demon-slimed water from the tub and refill it before she eased herself in.

**

When Buffy woke up, sunlight was peeking through the curtains and Giles was perched in an armchair, Alamo on his knee, watching her.

“Sleep well?” she murmured groggily.

“No,” he said.

Now fully awake, she pushed herself onto her elbows and regarded the motley pair curiously. “Awwww. Did the widdle baby keep you up all night?”

“Yes. And it’s not funny, either.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry, Giles, I was only teasing. Look, can I…”

“Not to worry,” he said briskly, pushing Alamo to the floor and rising to join her on the bed. “I’m taking him to Dr. Murray’s on my way to work, and…”

Buffy frowned. “That doesn’t sound good. Or cheap---“

“We did discuss boarding him for the weekend, as you recall.”

“And I recall that we didn’t exactly reach any conclusions. Dawn didn’t want…”

“I know that. But I also know that my reservations about enduring a lengthy car ride with a dog in my lap are even more pronounced now that the dog has spent the whole night sick. So I made an executive decision and I over-rode your sister.”

“Giles, I don’t know. Is that really…”

“She is the child and we are the adults. This is not a democracy, Buffy.”

“Giles!”

He took off his glasses and rubbed tiredly between his eyes. “I smell vile, and I haven’t slept---this is not the time for provocations. We are not debating this,” he said firmly. “I will not drive to L.A. with that dog in the car with me---it’s as simple as that. And furthermore---there might be something really wrong with him. When I explained the situation to Dr. Murray, he agreed it would be best to bring Alamo in right away. He’ll run some tests, and board him while we’re gone at Angel’s.”

“Sounds like you’ve got this all figured out.”

“Don’t push me on this. I mean it, Buffy.”

“Fine,” she said lightly. “Not pushing.” She sank back into the pillows, biting her lip. “So I guess you want first shower then?”

He grunted his ascent and sulked grouchily into the bathroom. Buffy exhaled. It was going to be one of those days.

**

Kate arrived at the Hyperion with Lorne and Jem just after 10, and was greeted with un-concealed enthusiasm.

“Shopping!” squealed Cordelia. What a fab idea!”

Kate turned her attention to Wesley and Lorne. “You sure you two will be okay?”

Wesley and Lorne both solemnly nodded. “Absolutely,” said Lorne.

“I have a great deal of experience with babies,” said Wesley. “I have cousins.”

“Well, all right,” said Kate. “I have my cell if anything happens…”

“Go, have fun,” said Lorne.

Kate turned to Cordelia. “Dawn tells me you know where to buy body glitter.”

Cordelia nodded.

“And of course, a brief visit to Baby Gap…”

The girls departed in a storm of whispers and giggles, and Wesley faced his friend somberly.

"Now," he said.

He had Jem on his lap, dressed in pink Baby Gap corduroy’s and a matching teeny t-shirt. Lorne sat on the ottoman opposite them, nearly a foot away,

"Here's a good one," said Wesley, after a moment’s thought. "Simple, but classic." He laid the baby down across his knee. "Now, you lift her shirt up over her eyes like this," he explained, delicately picking up a single frouffy corner from the edge of the baby’s tummy. "Then you yank it away and you shout thusly: PEEKABOO!"

Lorne jumped. "My god!"

Wesley smiled. "It's all right, Lorne, look..." He nodded at Jem, who had caught a finger on a lacy edge and was waving it entreatingly at Wesley. The watcher obliged her with a repeat performance, pronouncing his ‘peekaboo’ with even greater volume and purpose. Jem clapped delightedly, and Wesley beamed at Lorne.

“There,” he said. “You try.”

Lorne looked dubious. “I don’t know, Wes. They don’t play this sort of game with babies where I come from.”

“You come from a primitive, savage hell dimension,” said Wesley. “I don’t imagine they play ANY games with babies there.”

Lorne shrugged. “Guess so.” He smiled gamely at Jem. “Peekaboo,” he suggested.

Wesley rolled his eyes. “With vigor, Lorne. This is your baby. You LOVE her. You want to see her laugh and smile and clap her little baby hands.”

Lorne leaned very close and covered his daughter’s eye with the polka-dot scarf that adorned his green and scaly neck. He waited until she was just about to wrap a stubby fist around the cloth and pull it into her mouth before he yanked away abruptly with a nearly musical ‘peekaboo!’ Jem looked momentarily stunned, then kicked her legs and giggled cutely.

Lorne melted. “Awwwww.”

“See? Now, look, here’s another we can do.” Wesley picked the baby up and sat her purposefully upright on his knee. Then he gently wiggled his leg upward and demanded “Who’s a bouncy baby, hmmm? Who’s a bouncy baby?”

Five fat fingers clenched and unclenched into a tiny little fist that bobbed through the air with unbridled excitement. “Who’s a bouncy baby?” said Wesley. “Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy!”

Jem gurgled happily, and Lorne held out his hand. “My turn! Wesley, give her here!”

Wesley tapped the baby’s forehead with his own. “Bonk!” he declared. Jem was nearly apoplectic with amusement. Wesley frowned. “Better not let YOU try that,” he said to Lorne, wrapping a protective arm around the baby’s head. “What with the horns and all…”

Lorne could barely contain himself. He confidently snatched Jem from Wesley’s arms and swung her expertly through the air. “Peekaboo!” he trilled. “Who’s a pretty baby?”

Jem clung to her Lorne’s neck with a shriek of laughter that continued uninterrupted until her stupid daddy let his horn get close enough that she could reach it with her mouth.

End part 2

**

Dawn dropped her school stuff unceremoniously by the front door, then bounced into the kitchen in search of nourishment. Buffy was sitting at the kitchen table, very obviously waiting for her.

Dawn’s euphoric mood abruptly deflated. “Oh. Hi.”

Buffy offered her sister a game smile. “Hi. School good?”

“Yu-huh.”

“You all ready for tomorrow?”

“Sure. Packed last night and everything, gifts wrapped, off to clean Alamo’s travel crate right now…”

Buffy’s eyes flashed tell-tale guilt. “Dawnie, about that…”

Dawn poured herself a glass of juice with a gloomy sigh. “Lemme guess. Mr. I’m-Not-Stuffy-Really-I’m-Not put the kibosh on the dog in the car deal.”

“On the contrary. He had Alamo in the car this very morning, when he drove him to Dr. Murray’s.”

“He WHAT? Buffy. I thought we talked about this. He knows how I feel about doggie kennels, and…”

“And okay, maybe his going all Executive-Decision on us was not the best way to handle it,” continued Buffy smoothly. “But Dawnie, he was up all night with the little guy. Something’s wrong.”

Dawn looked stricken. “Like magic wrong?”

“I think maybe normal-wrong. Dr. Murray’s going to check him out.”

Dawn frowned. “Giles wanted to board him anyway,” she complained. “Figures he has an excuse now.”

“And just between you and me, I’m not exactly disagreeing. But if there really is something wrong---Dr. Murray’s IS the best place for him.”

“Plus Giles went all Rippery about this and we can’t fight him anyway?”

“Something like that. He’s trying, Dawnie. I think Alamo’s sometimes harder for him than you are.”

Dawn sat down at the table, frowning thoughtfully. “Why do you think that is?”

“You’re the one with the anagogic demon bartender friend and the weird vibey powers. What do you think?”

Dawn shrugged. “I don’t know. I love Giles lots, and he really is okay as far as stepdads go. But I fight with him. I get in little moods. I carelessly leave my schoolbag by the door even though I know it pisses him off. Alamo doesn’t do anything like that.”

Dawn finished her juice and bounced up the stairs, her anger at Giles already forgotten. Buffy sat stunned at the table, feeling her limbs go out on her. That was it, wasn’t it? Dawn didn’t know it, but she’d hit it after all---that was it. That perfect, innocent, unqualified love---he’d never had that, had he? The prickly watcher father---the coldly frivolous mother---the slayer wife whose every breath of life and strength of body or character was so weighted with meaning---he’d never had a love he didn’t have to earn.

**
It was nearly three when Kate and Cordelia returned to the Hyperion. Jem was snuggled in her bouncy chair, bouncing with furious excitement.

Kate put down her bags. “Jem?”

Two tiny tips of two demon horns peeked out from the top of the couch. Jem’s baby eyes were drawn to them.

“Peekaboo!” boomed Lorne, leaping suddenly up from his hiding place. He giggled delightedly, and Jem followed suit.

Kate smiled. “Looks like somebody learned a new game.”

Wesley looked up from his book. “They’ve been at it all afternoon,” he admitted. “Almost wonder which of them will tire of it first.”

Cordelia pulled Jem out of the bouncy chair. “Hi Sweetie! Look at you! Somebody has herself a goofy daddy, doesn’t she?”

Lorne rose to his feet with stately dignity. “That would be me,” he beamed. He gave Kate a brief hug. “So? Shopping go well?”

Kate nodded. “Very. Cordelia is literally the goddess of shopping. Remind me, in 15 years, to keep Jem away from her.”

Cordelia cuddled the baby protectively. “Don’t you dare!” To Jem, she added. “They’re only teasing, sweetie. Auntie Cordy will ALWAYS be there for you.”

Jem, still hyper from the day’s excitement, waved tiny fists at them with hapless giggles.

“I was sort of hoping she’d had a nap,” said Kate, watching the baby’s very alert squirms with a slight frown.

Lorne flushed guiltily. “Sorry.”

She shrugged. “No harm done, she’ll recover. I should probably get her home though---it’s almost suppertime. You joining us, or do you have bar stuff to do first?”

“You go on ahead,” he told her. “I’ll be a few minutes.”

Kate shrugged, already nodding to Cordelia to help her gather their stuff.

Lorne pulled Wesley aside. “Why didn’t you TELL me?” he hissed.

Wesley frowned. “Tell you what?”

“I mean, sure, the whole ‘peekaboo’ thing is fun, but you never said ANYTHING about a nap!”

“Lorne, it’s really…”

“I mean, if I can’t even manage ONE afternoon with her---what else did I forget?”

“Lorne, you didn’t forget anything! If Kate had wanted her to have a nap, she should have…”

“What? Told us? Why should she have? She was leaving MY baby with ME, Wes. She probably figured I’d know this stuff!”

“Lorne, calm down! Jem looks fine, and she clearly had a wonderful…”

“Doesn’t matter. She was supposed to have a nap, Wes. If Kate were here, she would have had a nap!”

Wesley looked briefly exasperated. “Honestly, Lorne…” The he grew thoughtful. “No, you aren’t Kate,” he finally said. “But Lorne, that’s all right. That’s part of being a family! You balance out each other’s strengths and weaknesses. I didn’t have that, you know,” he confessed quietly. “And part of the reason my parents could not sustain a marriage was that Father was so strong, and mother so weak. If they had stayed together---perhaps it might have given us a more balanced upbringing. Perhaps he could have talked her up to just one incident of inspiring bravery. Perhaps she could have talked him down from just one act of brutalizing superiority. Might have spared us all some sadder memories.”

Lorne grew still.

“If what I saw today is any indication, Jem clearly adores you,” said Wesley. “And that’s far more important in my view than the one nap she missed in her entire life before you learned your lesson. You won’t forget that detail again, I’d wager.”

Lorne mutely shook his head.

“So no harm done,” said Wesley, smiling. “Right?”

Lorne shrugged. “I guess…” He followed Kate out without another word.

**

Again, Lilah Morgan sat nude on the edge of the hot tub and dangled her feet in the water.

Kevin, inside the hot tub, briefly looked up from his ablutions.

“You okay?” he said.

Lilah was engrossed in his surveillance photos. “Hmmm?”

“You’ve been staring at those pictures all night, Li. You seeing something that I don’t see?”

She held the picture aloft for him. “You see that?”

Kevin shrugged and squirted some pink stuff into the roiling tub. “It’s a picture of a baby,” he said. “I’ve seen it before.”

“Yes, but it’s THEM, Kevin. THEM. THEY have a baby.”

“So?”

“So? SO???? Their best friend is a vampire, their other best friends are a slayer, a ghost and a conduit to the PTB…and HE’S green, besides---ad they somehow manage to find themselves a BABY? They wouldn’t give ME a baby because I’d be a single mom. But HER they give a baby to?”

Kevin frowned. “You want a baby?”

“I didn’t think so. But if THEY have one…”

He straightened manfully in the bubbly pink water. “I could get you a baby.”

“You?” she scoffed. “I don’t think so. Even if you COULD get me pregnant, I’m not sure I’d want you to. The teeny baby antlers would probably make childbirth really painful.”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean that way. I meant…” He nodded to the picture.

“You mean…could we?”

“Why not? You want a baby? THEY have a baby. Just take it, Lilah. You really think THEY can stop us?”

She traced a finger across the baby’s photo face and grinned. “A baby,” she mused aloud. “Happy Christmas to us…”

She climbed in the hot tub with him.

**

end part 3

**

The scooby gang, all two cars of them, arrived at the Hyperion on Christmas Eve, just before lunchtime.

“Giles!” shrieked Cordelia. She flew into his arms. “You’re here! Finally!”

He gently extracted himself. “As I said we would be. Right on time.”

“Yeah,” piped up Dawn, rolling her eyes. “You’re the best driver ever. Can we eat now?”

The second carload tumbled out. “I thought we were going to Caritas,” said Willow. “You said Lorne was giving us lunch.”

“He is,” said Cordelia. “But here. There’s just so many of us…oh, hey Xander, didn’t see you there. Anya, Tara…”

The scoobies exchanged hellos. “He caters now?” said Tara.

“Well, not him, exactly. That part was Wesley’s idea. They’re doing great, too. There was a desperate need. You know that there is not a single demon-friendly caterer in all of Los Angeles?”

Buffy grinned. “Imagine that.”

“But we’re having normal food,” clarified Dawn. “Not demon food. Right?”

“Sure we are,” said a smiling Angel, peeking out at them from the shaded rotunda. “After we get you settled…haven’t had this many houseguests in ages…”

“You guys are in 224,” said Cordelia, handing Xander and Anya a key. “And you guys, 225,” she said to Buffy and Giles. “Willow, Tara, you’re in 229…”

“Hey!” said Dawn. “That’s MY usual room!”

“I know it is, but kiddo, two of them, one of you…and 226 only has a twin.”

She paraded the scoobies upstairs and let them drop their bags. Buffy opted for a quick pre-lunch shower, and Xander and Anya decided to go exploring.

“That means they’re going off somewhere to have sex,” Dawn confided to Cordelia. “This hotel has so many hidey-holes…”

Dawn trailed after her as they made their rounds, stopping finally at Willow and Tara’s room. Tara headed straight for the bathroom, and Willow put her bag on the bed, then frowned. “What’s that noise?”

“What noise” Cordelia asked.

“That,” said Willow, pacing the walls with a curious frown. “That thumping, that…banging…”

Dawn’s eyes widened in sudden recognition. “They wouldn’t…not with people here…” she said to Cordelia.

“Who wouldn’t?” said Willow. “What?”

Dawn walked over to the wall and smacked it. “Phantom Dennis! You two keep it down in there!”

“That’s Cordelia’s old room,” she told Willow. She smacked the wall again. “Phantom Jenny! I mean it, you two! Willow and Tara SO do not need to be hearing this all weekend!”

“But what are they DOING?” said Willow.

Cordelia whispered something in her ear, and Willow abruptly reddened. “Oh,” she said quietly. “Right. I think I’m gonna ignore that little TMI and go get myself some lunch. Anyone joining me?”

**

A buffet table had been set up in the lobby, and it was arrayed with a stunning cornucopia of food. Salads, finger foods, sandwiches of all kinds and desert aplenty…in true festive spirit, Lorne had even persuaded Giles to give up his usual tea and cream for a rich hot chocolate and Egg Nog hybrid.

They had barely finished complimenting Gunn and Wesley on the display when Lorne reached for his coat.

“You’re leaving?” whined Dawn.

He plucked Jem out of her highchair and began fiddling with her shoes. “Sorry, kitten, but yes, we are. Somebody’s due for her nap…”

There were collective awww’s as Lorne bundled up the baby. “You staying?” he asked Kate. “Cause I’m good with her…”

Kate put down her plate and showered the baby with fussy kisses. “Are you sure? Cause I could…”

“Naw, stay, enjoy the holidays and the company and stuff. I’ll just get little munchkin home…”

With waves and smiles, he departed.

**

Angel drifted over to the buffet, where Gunn and Wesley were filling in Giles and Xander about their new venture.

“…and just because you’re a demon, it means you don’t eat?” Gunn was saying. “The demon men don’t round up the gang for the laser-ball playoffs? The demon ladies don’t have over all the demon aunts and uncles and kids for Anniversary of the Ascension of the Demon Koloth dinner? Of course they do! And nobody ever figured they might need a little catering for it?”

“Right,” said Xander. “Such a public service you boys have going on.”

“Public service has nothing to so with it,” said Wesley. “I for one have better ways to spend my Saturday nights than mucking about with Jubalian entrails.”

“It’s about money,” said Gunn. “Cold, hard cash, and lots of it. Untapped niche market, bro. We have ourselves a real, live monopoly.”

“Oh yes,” said Giles. “Quite the monopoly. By day, you cook them up their dinners, and by night, you roam the streets, vigilante-style, and slaughter them.”

“For your information,” said Wesley with a haughty bounce, “Not all demon species are evil. And we do check them out before we work with them…”

“Right,” said Xander. “That makes it all noble, then.”

“Oh, come on! You telling me, Mr. Construction Man, that YOU don’t have a vested interest in the demon world too?” snitted Gunn. “They bust stuff up, and who gets called in to fix it?”

“Hey!”

“Hey yourself,” called Cordelia from the all-female coffee klatch on the sofas. “No fighting, you guys! If I want testosterony attitude, I can set Phantom Dennis off against Angel any time I want to!”

“We’re fine,” Wesley hastily reassured her. “Fine, fine, that’s what we are…”

To Xander, he confided “I’m not sure who I am more afraid of---her or him!”

“Who, Dennis?” Xander frowned. “I thought he was on our side.”

“Not our side, per se,” said Wesley. “More like…Cordelia’s side. He can get a tidge over-protective…”

On the buffet, Wesley’s discarded glass toppled over. “Not that that’s a bad thing!” he called to the air. “Love you!”

To Xander, he hissed “We ruin her Christmas, and he’ll kill us in our sleep.”

**
Over on the couches, a bubbling Cordelia held court with the women.

“And if they ruin my Christmas?” she was saying. “He’ll kill them in their sleep!”

Anya looked briefly alarmed, and Cordelia hastily clarified “Okay, maybe not in the literal sense. But he’d punish them, and you KNOW they’d deserve it.”

Anya nodded agreeably. “I understand,” she assured Cordelia. “Vengeance can be very instructive when not fatal.”

“You’re not still into that, though,” said Buffy.

“Well, demon or not, it still can be a useful concept. These days, I take a more moderate approach.”

“She withholds sex from Xander when he bugs her,” translated Dawn.

“So if you were Phantom Dennis in the scenario Cordelia just outlined, what would you do?” said Kate.

Anya shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. Make lumps in their beds? Put sour-tasting things in their juice?”

“You rebel, you,” Buffy teased. “Dawnie, you okay?”

Her sister had frozen mid sip-of-juice, glass halfway to her lips, mouth hanging open and huge eyes staring horrified at Cordelia.

“Dawn?”

The glass fell out of her sister’s hands and hit the floor with a shatter just as Cordelia stiffened and let loose a blood-curdling scream.

Buffy slipped off the couch as Cordelia thrashed beside her and eased her friend to the more stable floor.

“It’s okay,” she mumbled non-commitally, trying to keep Cordelia steady. To her sister, she barked “How the HELL did you see that coming?”

A stunned Dawn shrank away from them. “She’ll be okay,” she said numbly. “It’s just a vision, she’ll be okay…”

“Lorne…” Cordelia whispered. “Demons…” Her back arched and she whimpered miserably as the pain crescendoed. “Oh my god…Jem…”

Kate managed a single squeak of distress before collapsing in a dead faint. On the floor, Cordelia still twisted in Buffy’s arms, riding out the vision. Anya took a sip of Egg Nog and surveyed the bodies impassively.

“Well,” she quipped. “That’s one way to end a party.

**

end part 4

**

By the time the men had hurried over, Cordelia had stilled. Her limbs still shook a little, and she was clinging to Buffy more firmly than it looked like she was. With pale eyes, she struggled to calm her breathing.

“Demons,” she repeated hoarsely.

“Yes,” said Buffy, gently brushing sweaty hair out of Cordelia’s eyes. “And?”

“Lorne…walking. They…” her voice broke. “Oh god…”

“Uh huh. We kind of need something to go on here, Cordy.”

She shivered, and drew her knees to her chest. “They took her,” she whispered. “Jem, they…oh god…”

“Took her where?”

“She’s just a little baby, and they took her…”

Buffy gently eased Cordelia off her lap and climbed to her feet. “Okay,” she told the assembled on-lookers, infusing her tone with as much reassuring authority as she could muster. “Willow, you and Tara take Kate to one of the hotel rooms and try and calm her down a little. You tell her I’m taking charge here, and I won’t let ANYTHING happen to her little girl. Wesley, Gunn---you are patrol A, and your job is find Lorne. What you do after that is your call---bring him back here for first aid if you need to, work any contacts he might have and try to track that baby down. Angel, Xander---you’re with me on patrol B---we work any contacts Angel has and try to dig up leads. Anya, Giles---you’re on research. See if you can get some more from Cordy on the demons she saw, and Dawnie, you go with them. Cordy might still be a little freaked, and I want someone staying with her. Everyone take cell phones---check in with Anya every half hour. Any questions?”

They shook their heads, and grimly dispersed to their various assignments.

**

In the bedroom, a bottle of water floated gently to Dawn’s side.

“Thanks, Dennis,” Dawn said soberly. She unscrewed the lid and offered the bottle to Cordelia, who winced away from her and buried her head in the pillows with a whimper.

“That’s a distressing noise,” Anya observed. She too was perched on the enormous bed, as far away from Dawn and Cordelia as possible.

Dawn glowered at Anya impatiently. “Well, it’s not like she can help it!”

“I thought the visions weren’t supposed to hurt anymore. Angel said it goes away immediately.”

“It starts to,” said Dawn. “But on a scale of 1 to 10, her pain is at, like, 9 million right now. Even if it starts to drop right away, it’s still going to take awhile until she feels better. Cordy, please, drink some of this…”

Cordelia shook her head, body still twitching with visiony aftershock. Her hands were balled into tight little fists, and they bounced against the pillows as she trembled.

“We need to know what the demon looked like,” said Anya impatiently. “That’s why Giles sent me in here…” She leaned over and stared smilingly at Cordelia. “Tell me what the demon looked like,” she demanded.

Cordelia winced and curled away from her. Dawn put a protective hand on her shoulder, glaring balefully at Anya. “I’ll do it,” she said.

Dawn stretched herself out and gingerly lay down beside Cordelia, matching her breathing to Cordelia’s struggling rasps. Very gently, she put her arms around her friend and drew her close. Then she closed her eyes and carefully began to slow her breathing.

Very slowly, Cordelia followed suit, loosening her pain-clenched muscles, unknotting the angry little fists and breathing slowly and rhythmically. Very carefully, Dawn gradually drew away, turning onto her side and resting on her elbows, upright enough to be upright, yet still within touching distance. She looked at Anya, nodded, then casually started drawing circles on Cordelia’s back with her finger.

“Wanna talk about it?” she said after a moment.

Cordelia briefly tensed again. “Dawnie, I…”

“I know. But Cor, we need to know what you saw in there…”

It was only her fists that clenched this time. “I hate seeing this,” she said. “There’s so much badness out there, and I see it all the time…”

“Like tonight, for example,” said Anya brightly. “When you saw…”

Dawn impatiently shushed her, then returned her attention to Cordelia. “I know,” she said, keeping her voice low and gentle. “Harder still to go back there and look again.”

Cordelia nodded tearfully.

“So don’t look at that part,” said Dawn. “There isn’t just a bad guy in there, is there? There’s Lorne, and Jem…what are THEY doing?”

Cordelia closed her eyes and smiled briefly. “He has her in the stroller,” she said. “They’re toddling along, and he’s singing to her. Over The Rainbow, I think---not so good with the audio on this one.”

“Okay…”

“And he’s loving her so much…so caught up in BEING with her that maybe he isn’t paying total attention…or maybe there’s just too much traffic and sirens and noises, I don’t know…but he’s looking down at her sweet little head and that’s when he notices…something.” Cordelia squinted, struggling to bring the picture into focus. “It looks wet or something…one of her pretty little curls looks wet, or slick, or…”

“Slick,” interrupted Anya. “Like, slime?”

“And he stops, pulls over some, starts strapping her out…let’s just rest for a minute, he says. There’s a vibe I’m getting…then he sees the shadow, and…” She winced, breathing fast again.

“What?” said Anya. “Did they drug him? Beat him?”

“Didn’t have to,” Cordelia said tersely. “Kinda…poked him. Spun his eye right into a…horn? It might have been a horn…he fell to the ground and they snatched Jem right out of his arms…”

Dawn looked beseechingly at Anya, who nodded in resignation, giving her the all-clear. “Slime and horns, that does narrow it down a little. Thanks.”

On the bed, Cordelia closed her eyes, still wincing. “So…tired…” she said. “You’ll…stay with me?”

“Sweetie, of course…”

Anya left for her research, and Dawn stretched out beside her, making herself at home.

**

Buffy clenched her stake tighter in her hand, and trotted some to catch up with Angel. Xander seemed to be avoiding the vampire, as if sensing that the combination of the baby in danger and Cordelia left behind, still hurting, would bring out Angel’s inner demon. Buffy secretly agreed, which was why she let Xander shuffle uselessly behind them---but she was the slayer, and she had responsibilities. If Angel really was impaired by his emotions, she needed to know.

“Penny for your thoughts?” she said quietly, falling into step behind him.

He barely spared her a glance. “You know what I’m thinking. Just as you know that you kind of can’t sneak up on me like that without me hearing you.”

She wordlessly gave him the single point this display of attentiveness to his surroundings merited.

“What?” he said. “You want to talk, is that it?”

“Will it help?”

“Don’t know.”

“Wanna try?”

He shrugged. “Just bugs me, that’s all. The demons, the vampires, the monsters…okay, fine, annoying, but it’s their evil nature. They can’t help being bad. But Lilah? She pulls this kind of stuff just to be annoying. And you know? It’s working.”

“You can’t be sure it’s her,” said Buffy.

He held up his cell phone and waved it her with a smirk. “Anya just called. Says Cordelia told her the demon dripped slime, and had long pointy horns. Like, for example, a Chaos demon.”

“Ah. Like as in Kevin, the wussiest demon consort ever.”

“Bingo. Just bugs me is all. I have enough to worry about without the likes of her being a thorn in my side just for the heck of it, you know? And Jem…we’ll save her, don’t get me wrong. But I’m kidding myself if I think Lilah’s just going to leave her alone. We love that kid---all of us do---far too much for her to be anything less than a really valuable hostage. Demons are seldom smart enough to hatch a plan that complicated, but that sort of thing is right up evil-lawyer-scum alley.”

“Angel…”

“You know I’m right. So what more is there to say?”

He walked mournfully on, and Buffy followed him without another word.

**

Anya looked up from her books with an irritable whine. “Can we stop now?”

“Stop?” huffed Giles. “Really, Anya. A child is missing…”

“But we KNOW who took her,” Anya complained. “So what good is research, anyway?”

“Locator spells to find her. Cloaking and teleportation spells to retrieve her. Need I go on?”

Anya broke off pouting when the door abruptly opened and Wesley clomped in with Gunn, the both of them supporting an injured Lorne between them.

Cordelia, who had rejoined them some time ago, leapt from the couch and rushed to Lorne’s aid.

“Oh my god, your eye…I saw it in my vision, but we weren’t…”

Wesley has clearly done some first aid en route, and Lorne’s eye, although red and weepy, was no longer spouting blood.

“Never mind that,” said Lorne impatiently. “That’ll be fine, how’s Kate? Where’s Jem?”

Kate was slouched woodenly on the sofa, staring off into space. “She’s pretty much inconsolable,” Cordy admitted. “But we’re working really hard, and…”

Lorne kneeled on the floor beside his wife. “Katie? Are you…”

“She’s gone,” kate whispered. “Lorne, after everything we’ve been through, she’s just…”

“I know,” he choked. “Katie, I’m so, so sorry…”

“It’s not your fault,” she told him, smiling for the first time. “You fought for her, Lorne. Cordy saw it all. You fought…”

“And still, they took her.”

“We’ll get her back,” said Cordy, sitting down beside her, “Giles and Anya and us have been working really hard on some locator spells…”

“We’re doing everything we can,” said Dawn.

Anya cleared her throat uncomfortably. “Well, not everything,” she said. “There IS still one thing we haven’t tried…”

Giles looked up from his reading curiously. “Oh?”

“I might know some people,” Anya sheepishly admitted. “Well, okay, not people, exactly, but anyway…”

“Whoa,” said Dawn. “I thought you were out of the vengeance game.”

“So? I worked with some of these guys for thousands of years! You think I didn’t keep in touch?”

Anya looked briefly skyward. “HALFREK!” she bellowed.

There was a flash of light, and a hideous demon thundered into view before them. When it saw Anya, it smiled and morphed into a pleasant-looking woman.

“Anyanka?”

“Halfrek!” squealed Anya. She embraced the woman, then drew away, looking serious. “Listen, Halfrek, great as it is to see you and everything, I kind of summoned you here on business.”

Halfrek raised an eyebrow curiously. “Oh?”

Anya pointed at Lorne and Kate. “It’s my friends here, see. A lawyer and a demon snatched their baby on them, and it’s Christmas eve, and as you can imagine, it’s rather upsetting…”

“Uh huh. And?”

“Well, obviously, they want to exact some vengeance,” said Anya. “And, you know, have back the baby. And children ARE your specialty…”

Halfrek nodded. “Children, yes.” She glanced coldly at Kate. “NOT parents. I’m afraid I can’t help you, Anyanka.”

Kate sobbed on the couch. “Oh, please,” she snuffled. “We’ll do anything, just give us back our baby…”

Halfrek shrugged. “Well, I should be going…”

“Wait!” called Kate. “Please, you don’t understand. Her name is Jem, she’s just a little tiny baby. Don’t you see, she needs us! She misses us!”

Halfrek paused mid-exit. “She does?”

Kate nodded.

The demon smiled broadly. “Well, that changes things!” she chirped. “A parent, I can’t act for, but a child…well, as soon as HER will enters into it, that’s a whole other story! If she really does need you…if she really does miss you…” She frowned thoughtfully. “Jem, you say?”

“About this big, see, and tiny pink corduroy’s…”.

“Kinda hard to get a read on one so young…” Halfrek frowned. “Wait here a second, ‘kay?”

She disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“She’ll be right back,” Anya reassured them. “Any second now, she’ll…ah, there we go!”

It took a moment for the sudden smoke to clear, but when it did, they saw Halfrek---with the baby in her arms.

“Jem!” shrieked Kate. She sprang to her feet and snatched the baby from Halfrek. “She’s okay?”

“Now she is,” said Halfrek, smiling fondly at her littlest client.

“Well, what did you do to them?” asked Anya.

“My dear, I didn’t do ANYTHING, she’s the one who thought it up.”

“Yes? And?”

“Well, she didn’t want them touching her,” Halfrek shrugged. “Even a baby can make THAT clear. So I made it so they couldn’t.”

Dawn frowned. “I don’t get it.”

“I made them allergic,” Halfrek explained. “They can’t so much as touch a pinkie to the little dear without breaking out in the most hideous hives, and rashes and boils…it was very cute. I took pictures.” She pulled a sheaf of Polaroid’s from her pocket and handed them to Kate.

“So to clarify, then,” said Lorne. “You’re telling me that Lilah Morgan and her creepy demon can never lay a hand on my child again, forever?”

Halfrek shrugged. “Pretty much.”

Lorne embraced Kate and together, they looked fondly down at their daughter. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” said Lorne fondly. “It’s too bad you won’t remember this, cause I think it’ll be the best Christmas present you ever get.”

Kate nodded solemnly at Halfrek. “Thank you,” she said.

Halfrek smiled agreeably, then vanished in a dramatic puff of smoke. Kate kissed Jem one more time, then frowned at Anya. “Do I want to know what the deal was with her?”

“Probably not.”

Kate nodded. “Didn’t think so. Well, shall we eat?”

**
end part 5

**

Buffy and crew arrived home to a bustling Hyperion. Wesley had retreated to the office to call his sister and wish her a happy holidays, and a camera-happy Lorne was busily chronicling his daughter’s first Christmas. Giles had indeed found a tiny red santa suit, and he and Kate were working cooperatively to get it on a squirmy Jem.

Buffy went straight for Dawn, and Angel went straight for Cordelia.

“Are you okay?” they pressed, hovering anxiously over their charges.

Dawn and Cordelia traded amused glances. “Fine,” said Dawn. “Both of us are. Geez, you’re almost as bad as Mom. Are you gonna offer us chicken and stars too?”

“Fine,” said Buffy. “Make fun of me. I don’t care.”

“We’re fine,” said Cordelia. “Seriously. Go eat. Dinner’s not for another half hour, but Gunn put out finger foods.”

“Oooh. Canapes!” Buffy wandered off in search on nourishment.

“You’re really fine?” said Angel when they were alone.

“Yeah. Had it rough there for a little while, but Dawn…she has the magic touch. Kind of creepy…”

Angel nodded. “She’s done this before. Giles thinks it might have something to do with her key energy---lets her open channels or something.”

Cordelia shuddered. “Creepy.”

“Actually, it’s not,” he smiled. “Turns out the Watcher’s Council has a long tradition of training people for this kind of skill---slayers aren’t the only ones who need a little watching. There’s a group of them that works with seers and sensitives too..."

”Really? So how come I don’t have one of those?”

“Who says you don’t?”

“But…”

“Not Dawn,” he hastily clarified. “Not yet, anyway---she’d need a LOT of training before she would have enough control of her own abilities to be able to help you safely. She IS a natural, though. One day that might be an option for her.”

“But…”

He kissed the top of her head with an affectionate smile. “You are, as always, a special case. Wouldn’t you know it? With all the magic variables at work here…well, we’ve ALL been doing some work. Between Wesley, Fiona and Giles, you have plenty of watcher in your life.”

“Guess so.”

“Shall we eat?”

“You don’t eat.”

“I like watching you,” he said.

“Buster, there’s plenty of things you like to do with me, and watching isn’t one of them.”

His eyes grew wide.

“Not in front of the company,” she told him. “Let’s eat.”

**

Giles made his way through the crowd of friends to Buffy, who had found herself a seat and was working her way through the pigs in blanket and punch.

“You all right?” he asked her.

She rolled her eyes. “Geez. Our group goes through that one so much we ought to have it engraved. Yes, I’m all right. Are you?”

He nodded. “I am. Did a little research, had a little phone call with Dr. Murray…”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Alamo!”

“He called me on my cell about half an hour ago,” said Giles. “Wanted to give us the good news for Christmas.”

“What good news?”

“Alamo is pregnant,” said Giles with a shy smile. “We’re having puppies.”

“But…but…Alamo is a boy!”

“Apparently not.”

“But how could we not know that? How could they not tell us?”

“He did not recall our asking.”

“But…but…wow.”

“Indeed.”

She looked around her, a little buzzed from the punch, a little stunned from the unexpected news. “This almost passed for normal, doesn’t it? The friends and the puppies and the Christmas---all of us together like this---“

He put his arm around her. “Sure, sure. And the green-skinned demon in his holiday attire, the baby sucking happily on his horn---the vampire helping himself to fresh mug of cinnamon-laced pig’s blood---shall I shut up and let you enjoy this?" he teased.

“You know, I actually am,” she said. “Everything, pig’s blood and all. This is our LIFE, Giles. These are our people, and this…is our life. Not so bad, is it?”

They heard the baby cry, and Dawn approached them, Jem in tow. “She wants to cuddle with her Uncle Giles and Aunt Buffy, I think.”

“Translation,” said Buffy. “She’s grumpy and you’re sick of her.”

“No look,” said Giles. “She really does…”

On getting Buffy’s attention, Jem had brightened immediately. Now, held aloft in Dawn’s arms, she waved happy fists at her godparents and stretched out her little hands for a cuddle.

“This is our life,” Giles repeated, with wonder, this time. “Happy Christmas, Buffy.”

“Awww…”

“And to all a good night!”

the end