A new two-year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY that many of you should be interested in: BECOMING A REAL MAN. That's right! In just six quarters you, too, can be a real man.

• FIRST YEAR
• Fall Schedule:
• MEN 101 Combating Stupidity
• MEN 102 You Too Can Do Housework
• MEN 103 PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
• MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas
• Winter Schedule:
• MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
• MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4AM
• MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
• MEN 113 Get a Life; Learn to Cook
• Spring Schedule:
• MEN 120 How NOT To Act Like an Ass When You're Wrong
• MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
• MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex
• MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers
• SECOND YEAR
• Fall Schedule:
• • SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep Without It
  • SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
  • MEN 201 How to Stay Awake After Sex
  • MEN 202 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down
• Winter Schedule:
• MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
• MEN 211 How Not to Act Younger Than Your Children
• MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
• MEN 213 Honest-You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise-Especially naked
• Spring Schedule:
• MEN 220 Omitting @#%~&*! From Your Vocabulary
• MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Farting is Not Necessary
• MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
• MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is Not Considered Foreplay