DISCLAIMER: Still not mine; they belong to Joss and his ppl.
SPOILERS: Season five of Angel, up to episode 16 ‘Shells’
SUMMARY: To save Fred, Angel gets a glimpse of the life he could have had, and has to choose between her life and what he sees.
PAIRINGS: B/A Fr/W
DISTRIBUTION: If you have any of my other fics, you can have this too. Otherwise just let me know!
RATING: NC-17
FEEDBACK: I'd love to know what you think Akay_81@msn.com
DEDICATION: To Lana, Calista, Lynn, Sobad, Doc, Christine, Torey, Cristina, Kristi, Angela, Nicole, Leanne, Jemma, Ashleigh and Ryan. And everyone else who sent me wonderful feedback throughout this fic!
AN: This was an idea I haven’t been able to let go of after seeing the episode ‘Shells’

**********
Chapter 1

Angel, Wesley and Spike sat in his office grieving over the loss of their dear friend Fred. No one had spoken for hours until suddenly Angel felt he couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm going to bring her back, whatever it takes, I'm gonna get Fred back."

Spike and Wesley looked up from their almost empty glasses; they had almost finished the bottle of whisky between the three of them. Standing up and setting the cup down Spike walked over to where Angel was sitting, and slumped down in the seat next to his.

"Yeah but Angel what is there left to do, it's over, she's gone." Spike said, still finding it hard to come to terms with what had happened, after all they had went through to save her, it was to painful to think that it was all useless.

"No." he spat "I lost Buffy and I understand that she came back, but what about Cordy, and now Fred too, NO, I'm gonna find a way.” He said as he rose form his seat. "I've got Willow working on it; if anyone can, she will find a way."

As though she had heard the mention of her name, Willow suddenly appeared in the room, the other two men jumped to their feet.

"Well what happened, what did they say?" Asked Angel anxiously

"There is one way." Said Willow with a worried look on her face.

"Great." said Angel feeling relieved.

"What is it?" Asked Wesley. For the first time since Fred had been infected by Illyria he had hope.

"There's a spell."

"Okay do it, I don't care what it is, just do it."

"Angel maybe you should care."

"You heard him." spat Wesley, coming to stand directly in front of Willow.

"Okay, if that's what you both really want then get someone else to do it." Said Willow, and she was about to disappear into thin air again.

"Wait, what is it?" Asked Angel annoyed, yet not wanting to miss the only chance he had to save her.

"It's called a glimpse. What happens is that in return for Fred's life, a champion must suffer."

"I don't understand." said Angel, trying to get his head around what the Wicca said.

"I'll do it." said Wesley.

"Willow turned to look at him "I- uh, I'm sorry but you're not a cham-."

"Not a champion I get it." Said the once watcher

"Then I'll do it." said Spike.

"No, if anyone is going to do this, its me." spat Angel "So what does this mean?"

"Well, the moment the spell is cast, Fred's soul will be returned, and her body restored to how it was before the essence of Illyria took over. The only thing is you will suffer for it."

"That's it."

"Angel, I don't think they mean suffering in the slow painful death kind of way, it's more emotional."

"I don't care, I'll still do it."

"Angel listen, once it's done you can't go back. After Fred is restored, that’s it everything’s changed for good; you will get what they call a glimpse. They will show you the life you could have had, in the space of a short amount of time, and then, then-"

"Then what?"

"You'll have to make a choice." finished Wesley, having heard of the spell before.

"Okay." said Angel more than confused "Well I'll still do it, I mean come on, I risk my life everyday for faceless people I don't even know, and all I've got to do here is make a choice."

"Angel you don't know what they'll make you choose between. You need to know that they will make you suffer, you don't know what your future holds and what you might end up having to give up."

"I don't care." he whispered trying not to take what Willow said to heart, the less he understood the happier he would be, because he didn't want to change his mind.

"Okay, when it's done, when the spell has worked, one day I'm not sure when but I will be sent to you. That's when you will have to make a choice; you have to come to me freely. Good luck." She smiled, then the Wicca started chanting and all the necessary ingredients required for the spell appeared before her.

"Be careful; don't do anything rash, your still in the same world, whatever happens really happens, if you get what I'm saying."

"I get it."

"Also no one else will know about this glimpse but you and I, and you can't tell anyone, understand."

"Yeah I got it."

"Okay just let me set up then."

Willow walked around Angel sprinkling some herbs required for the spell as Wesley lit some candles. Coming to stand in front of Angel she pulled out an oddly shaped crystal. She mumbled a few words in Latin and crystal floated from her hands and was now directly in Angel's line of sight. Taking his hands in hers she instructed him to remain focused on the crystal. Looking into its center, Angel could see a white light piercing through it, as he faintly heard Willow chanting the spell. The light blinded him and everything started spinning. Angel felt like his insides were being ripped apart, and his demon visage kept on appearing and slipping away. Finally the light escaped the crystal and seeped into Angel's eyes. The crystal then shattered on the ground. Looking down at the broken specs Angel suddenly realised that the world had ceased spinning. He looked up and noticed that he was standing outside of Wolfram and Hart; thank God the sun wasn’t up.

"Okay." He said confused and thinking that maybe the spell hadn't worked after all. Walking up the main path he entered the building.

When he emerged form the lift, he was greeted by Harmony "What are you doing back already; you can't just quit and then come back."

"What?" he asked

"Whatever, he's in his office." Said the blonde assistant, dismissing Angel with a wave of her hand.

Who was in *his* office, this was just too confusing, what the hell was Harmony on about? He realised that the spell must have worked after all, either that or something freaky was going on. Approaching the doors to his office he could hear Spike and Wesley arguing about something, and what sounded like a female trying to calm them down. Opening the doors he entered the office and paused when he seen Fred stepping between both the men.

"Fred." he said as he ran towards her and took her in his arms.

"Ah angel, hey we missed you too. Even though you've only been gone for like five minutes." She said as she pat his back and tried to release herself from the hug.

"Your alive." he said shocked to see her standing there in front of him.

"Yeah and I thought we cleared all that up yesterday." she said smiling at him.

"Uh yeah I forgot." he added, he had no idea what was going on. "I can't really remember the last couple of days, everything’s a blur." he said trying to cover his mistake.

"What are you doing back here anyway, you can't just give me the reins and then think you can come back in and take them away. Besides your human now, and no use to us." Spat Spike a little worried at seeing his old boss, so soon after he had just walked out.

What? He gave Spike control of Wolfram and Hart, when did that happen? How did that happen? What the hell was going on?

"Wait Angel, what do you mean by the last couple of days being a blur?" said Wes wondering what was going on with his friend.

"Well I don't remember, can someone please tell me what is going on."

"You saved the world from Illyria, returned Fred's essence to her, and then got your all mighty reward. The PTB made you human and you gave me Wolfram and Hart, that about sum it up for ya?" said Spike, he had no time to make chit chat, he badly wanted to get back to the heated argument that he and Wes were having about which was the best Soccer team.

"I'm Human." questioned Angel in disbelief.

“Well yeah, I’ve told you twice now.” said Spike.

"Angel are you oka-”

"Bye." said Angel cutting of Fred as he walked out of the office, suddenly he turned back around and hugged Fred once more before leaving.

He couldn’t believe it the spell had worked, Fred was alive and well, and he was human. That’s not exactly what he would call suffering.

**********

Walking through the streets of L.A. he had no idea where to go, he was human now and that meant a whole new life. What was he going to do, well the first thing he was going to do was shut his stomach up and have something to eat. Opening the door he entered the small diner, finding himself a seat at the counter he picked up a menu.

"What will it be?" asked the waitress.

"Ummm, I’ll have this and this, oh and this." he said pointing to numerous things on the menu. The waitress gave him a look then went about getting his order ready.

**********

As hungry as he thought he was, he was soon feeling sick finishing nearly everything he had ordered. Oh God he had missed food.

Opening the door and stumbling into the diner, with tones of paperwork in her hands, she dumped it on the counter, the waitress smiled at her. "The usual." the waitress asked, the blonde only nodded in reply. Slipping her bag off her shoulder and searching for her purse she retrieved it, her eyes then fell on the man at the other end of the Diner.

When the waitress handed him the check Angel reached for his wallet only to find it wasn't there, he was about to speak to try and explain when a small hand placed the money in front of him. When Angel looked up he was pleasantly surprised

"Buffy."

Chapter 2

"Hey." she said as the waitress took the money and placed Buffy's coffee in front of her.

"Hey." he replied, he couldn't believe she was really there, Buffy was really right there in front of him, the last he heard she was in Europe somewhere and now, here she was as beautiful as ever standing right in front of him.

Suddenly he remembered Willow's words about suffering and making a choice, and he wondered did it have anything to do with Buffy? He dismissed the thought instantly, Fred was alive, end of story, they must have meant him losing his powers and handing over Wolfram and Hart as the suffering. He had to admit it did kind of piss him off that Spike was in charge, but hey the prophecy ended up being about him, so who was he to complain.

"So the blood not enough for you huh?" asked the slayer, pointing at the empty plates the waitress was taking away.

"Huh, Oh the food right. Thanks for paying I mean; I don't seem to know where I've placed my wallet."

"Anytime." she said smiling at him. "So why are you eating food anyway?" she asked a little curious as to why the vampire was ingesting anything other than blood.

He was human, and he was about to tell her, he had played this conversation over and over in his mind since the day he first heard about the prophecy. And now sitting beside her he was finding it difficult to form the words, instead he just reached out and grabbed her hand placing it on his chest, just over his heart.

"Oh my God." she gasped, "You're, you're....." she couldn't even finish the sentence, this was the moment she had dreamt of for so long, she had so many questions but none seemed right, nothing seemed right except the feel of his heart beating in his chest, under her hand.

"Angel." she said looking into his eyes as tears welled in hers. "I can't believe it, when?" she asked slowly pulling her hand away.

"Today, only a couple of hours ago." he said not for a second taking his eyes off her.

She smiled, she was just so happy for him, he was human, and he could have the life he always wanted. "Wow, I mean...wow." she said as she gazed into his eyes.

"I know." he said smiling back at her, he still couldn't get over the fact that she was sitting next to him, talking to him, and oh God she was just so beautiful, how could he have forgotten how incredible she was.

"So are you still at Wolfram and Hart?" she said trying to change the subject, she was so scared of the feelings he was evoking within her just by being close to him.

"No, I uh handed over control to Spike for some reason." he said with a half smile.

"Spike?" she said with a confused look on her face

"Oh God you didn't know he was alive?" Oh he'd really put his foot in it now.

"What, of course I knew, you didn't think that Andrew could actually keep a secret now did you?" she said laughing at the look on Angel's face when he thought he'd let the cat out of the bag. "I just didn't think that you and Spike were that close that you would actually give him control of the company."

"Me neither, but I think he can handle it."

She only smiled in reply, she was so glad that the two had sorted out their issues, sure she couldn't actually see them being friends, but at least they had come to some sort of understanding.

"Anyway enough about Spike, how have you been?" he asked not once peeling his eyes away from her.

"Okay I guess."

"Only okay?"

"Yeah, work kinda sucks." she said pointing at the paperwork still sitting at the other end of the diner.

Angel smiled; I was so like Buffy to hate anything resembling homework "So what do you do?"

"I just started at this gallery, its okay but their records are just in shambles, and they kinda make the new girl do all the work." she frowned.

"Do you want me to sort them out for you." he joked.

"Nah, I already got in trouble for threatening to kick the owner’s ass, so I'm good."

"You what?"

"I'm kidding."

"Oh right." he smiled.

After chatting for hours about the last year of their lives, Angel had found out that Buffy had only moved back recently as Dawn had missed the states so badly that she had no other choice. She had also been by to see him once, but he was out having breakfast with Nina. Angel felt so bad; he had told Buffy he was going to wait for her and then when she had came back he was out with Nina.

Other than that Angel told her a bit about what had happened over the last year with Wolfram and hart, he told her everything but the spell that Willow had just cast, remembering that the Wicca told him no one was allowed to know.

Buffy was speechless and so upset when she heard that Andrew and Giles had betrayed her, feeding lies to Angel about what she thought about him, Angel simply dismissed it and told her not to worry about it.

After endless amounts of coffee, they eventually got the hint that the diner was in fact closing for the night. Picking up her stack of papers and adjusting her bag so it sat comfortably on her shoulder, she headed out, Angel following close behind.

"I'll walk you home." he offered as he took the stack of papers out of her hands.

"Okay." she smiled

On the walk to Buffy's place her cell rang, it was Dawn telling her sister that she was spending the night at her friend Amanda's place. Buffy told her to behave and then hung up the phone.

"She's so going out tonight, little liar." she said to Angel, rolling her eyes at her sisters lame excuse.

Angel laughed in reply "Well maybe we should check up on her."

"Are you kidding that would be like my mom having followed me to your place every nite back when I was seventeen." she said as the smile dropped from her face at the thought of her mother.

Angel had an idea of what she was thinking "She would be so proud of what you’re doing with Dawn, you know."

Buffy smiled as tears welled in her eyes, yet she managed to push them back, he always knew exactly what to say to make her feel better, even after all these years he knew her like no other. "Well this is me." she said as she stopped out the front of the large complex."

"Nice." he said looking up at the tall building, and nice it was. "How can you afford this?"

"Giles actually, he owns the place, I pay him cheap rent, even though he insists that I don't."

She reached over and took her papers out of his hands, and he smiled at her in return. They just stood their looking at each other for a while before Buffy finally spoke.

"Angel."

"Yeah." he answered.

"Do you have a place to stay?"

"Uh, well I can go back to Wolfram and Hart and get my wallet, or just see if Spike can put me up, God knows I did it for him." he said hating the idea of asking Spike for a favour, yep this definitely had to be that thing Willow was talking about.

"Well if you want, Dawn's not home so you can take my bed and I can sleep in hers." she offered, she was enjoying his company so much she didn't want him to leave.

"I don't want to put you out." he said all the while wanting to stay.

"Don't be silly, it's the least I can do for you walking me home and carrying my pap-"

Her last word was cut off as she had been trying to balance the papers with one hand as she retrieved her keys. It turned out to be too difficult a task as the whole stack fell from her hands to the ground, scattering everywhere.

"Oh great." she said as she bent down to pick them up, Angel dropped to his knees and helped her. "They were all in order all I had to do was check them for mistakes now I'm going to be up all night, sorting them again."

"Well I can help." he said gathering the last few pieces.

"Oh no it's okay, you don't have to."

"Well I want to, and I won't take no for an answer." he smiled as he passed her the last lot of pages he'd picked up. She only smiled in return, as their eyes locked in a heated gaze. Slowly leaning forward Angel gently pressed his lips against hers, it was a soft yet sensual kiss, until Buffy gave in and once more dropped the papers on the ground as her hands came up to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck. Angel brought the palms of his hands up to grip her shoulders lifting her to his lips. Suddenly Buffy pulled away, breathless and flushed.

"I'm sorry." he said, noticing her unease as she wouldn't make eye contact with him, and began picking up her papers again. She paused at his apology looking back up and into his eyes.

"It's okay, I-I mean it's not your fault, I kissed you back." she said returning to her task of picking up the papers again.

Angel helped her, he wanted to say something, he felt they needed to talk about what just happened yet everything he thought he should say just wasn't good enough. Instead he chose to ignore it and maybe bring it up later; one thing he did know for sure was the he wanted more of it. Her lips felt so right against his, like she was never meant to kiss another but him, and now he was human all he could think was that they had a chance.

The thought that maybe this was the thing that Willow was talking about, never crossed his mind.

Chapter 3

They had been up for at least two hours sorting through the huge stack of paperwork so that it was at least in the right order, she had the whole weekend to go through it and check for mistakes, that she didn't bother with it now.

"Thank you, for helping." she said as she placed the last sheet on the top of the pile, then sat back on the lounge, facing Angel and snuggling her feet underneath her.

"Well you did by me dinner, so I kind of owe you one." he smiled, as he turned himself on the lounge to face her properly.

She smiled back, she could feel herself getting lost in his eyes, and wanting to kiss those lips she'd only kissed hours ago, but she refrained and got up off the lounge.

"Ah I'm kinda beat, so I'm gonna get some sleep, my rooms just through that door." she said pointing in the direction just to the right of where he was still seated on the lounge "Nite." she whispered before heading for Dawn's room on the other side of the apartment.

Removing her pyjama bottoms she slid under the sheets wearing only the long satin top and her panties. She sighed as she pulled the covers over her, she was finding it hard to be around him and resist the urge to touch him.

Angel could tell she felt a little awkward around him, as he felt it too. The whole time they had sat there sorting through the papers, he would watch her and just get lost in the sight he saw, she was so beautiful wearing her satin pyjamas, her beautiful bronzed legs sticking out of her shorts, begging for is touch. He found it so hard no to just rip her clothes off, and make love to her right there in the living room. He did stop himself though, he knew that he was human now so the curse wasn't really an issue, but he didn't know how Buffy felt about things. He thought that maybe she still had feelings for him, he felt that when they kissed. How he had missed the feel of her soft pink lips against his, but now there was nothing else he could do but get some sleep.

**********

Angel had lain still in her bed, breathing in her scent from her bed sheets for about an hour, unable to sleep, as his mind was clouded with thoughts of her, and the fact that she was in another room in the same apartment as he, was driving him crazy. It was taking everything in him to stop himself from just walking into Dawn's room, and taking her in his arms. At one point he had even gone as far as the door to her sister’s room, and then turned back, knowing that if anything was going to happen it was up to her. Finally he'd fallen asleep, the last thing on his mind, Buffy.

After about two hours lying in Dawn's room unable to sleep thanks to thoughts of the man sleeping in her bed, Buffy had just about had it. She'd kept on hoping that Angel would come into the room she was in, and make love to her, at one point she could have sworn she heard someone just outside the door, but when it didn't open she dismissed the thought and went back to trying to get some sleep, but it didn't work. All she could do was think of Angel, and how much she wanted him. Finally she gave in, the way she seen it there really wasn't anything keeping them apart anymore.

Quietly opening the door to her room she crept in and closed it behind her, she didn't want to startle him. She waited a while as her eyes adjusted to the darkened room, then walked to the bed where she made out his large form sleeping naked with a sheet covering him from his waist down. She sat down on the edge of the bed and just watched him for awhile. She loved seeing the rise and fall of his chest as he took in each breath. Buffy hadn't been able to stop laughing when he told her he needed to be told he was human and he hadn't actually realised he was breathing. He sighed in his sleep and Buffy smiled, the sound he made making Buffy realise he really was there, in her apartment, in her bed, and once more in her life.

Slowly she reached out and placed her fingers gently on his chest, she brushed them lightly down and over his taught stomach, her gaze following her hand as she smiled at the feel of his warm skin, bringing her hand back up she traced his collarbone and slowly Angel awoke, startled by her touch. When his eyes adjusted he noticed her rising to her knees and placing each one on either side of him. Angel lost his train of thought when he felt her sitting atop of him.

"Buffy?" He questioned

"Shhhh." she said as she placed her finger to his lips, then slowly leant froward and kissed him

This time it was Angel who was caught off guard. But slowly he brought his hands up to her face as he kissed her back, parting her lips as he slid his tongue into her mouth searching for hers, while pulling her flat against his chest. He rolled them both so he was on top of her, not once tearing away from her lips.

"Angel." she said as she pulled away from his lips, lying beneath him on the bed.

"Mmmm."

"Make love to me." she whispered

"Buffy." he said before he attacked her mouth again, pulling at the sheet that was still separating him from her, only to return his hand to her face. Slowly he undid the buttons to her pyjama top then with both hands, pulled it open exposing her breasts, he smiled and then kissed her again as he removed the garment completely and tossed it on the floor.

Sliding his hands down her body, over the outer curve of her breasts, down her waist to her hips where he settled on her panties. Gently he pulled them down, then took in a deep breath at the sight of her completely naked before him.

"You're so beautiful" he said smiling down at her.

Tears surged forward at his words, how was it that he could make her feel like a goddess when he said things like that to her. Any other man could never say it or mean it the way he did.

Bringing her hands up and wrapping them around his neck she pulled him down to her, kissing him gently at first she nipped at his bottom lip, then pressed her lips more firmly against his. As he parted his lips she slid her tongue in and he attacked it with his own, kissing her with the desire he'd had for her all these lonely years that they had been apart.

He caressed her smooth skin with his large hands, tracing her ribs he brought them up higher to cup her bare breasts. Softly kneading them, he began to re-familiarise himself with her body. It had been years since he felt her naked beneath him, yet somehow he had never forgotten the shape and feel of her, that would always be etched into his memory just like her sweet vanilla scent, which he was currently intoxicated by.

Taking the hardened bud of her breast between his two fingers he pinched it, enjoying her reaction.

"Angel.....now." She pleaded as she pulled away from his lips and sunk her fingers into his mass of brown hair. He slid his lips down her body till he came to her breasts. Releasing one he placed his mouth over the bud, his fingers had been teasing.

Clutching his hair Buffy gasped as he used his mouth and then tongue to lave her breast. Buffy arched her back and pulled his head down, securing it more firmly against her. As he shared his attention on both her mounds he could feel Buffy squirming under him, wanting more of the pleasure he was desperately wanting to give her.

Using his thigh he pried her legs apart and pressed it firmly against her sex. Leaving her breasts he returned his lips to hers and he kissed her, taking her bottom lip into his mouth and softly nipping it.

His hand brushed down to the spot where his thigh was. Replacing his thigh with his hand he slid two fingers inside her. As he stroked her wet center he pulled away from her lips to look at her. He smiled at her, taking pleasure in the look on her face as she enjoyed the feelings he was evoking within her. Sensing that she was close to her peak he found her clitoris and with his thumb rubbed it, as she brought her hips up off the mattress to meet his hand firmly.

Not long after Buffy's climax came, she lay there beneath him savouring every blissful tremor. He braced himself on his elbows on top of her and for a moment he did nothing but just look at her.

"Angel?" she whispered as she noticed his gaze.

He smiled at her before leaning in to kiss her lips, Buffy responded immediately bringing her hands up to grip his shoulders and her knees so her feet where flat on the mattress. Feeling her open for him he slid inside her, and just lay still for a moment felling her surround him. He remembered now why he had lost his soul the first time, this really was true bliss. He thrust in deeper and lovingly kissed her lips as he made love to her.

When their climaxes washed over they lay there holding each other and fell into a deep sleep. It was all a little too much to take in for the both of them, but for Angel everything was overwhelming. He couldn't believe how in one unforgettable day, his life had changed forever.

Chapter 4

Over the next week Buffy and Angel re-acquainted themselves with each other, and most of that happened in Buffy’s bedroom alone.

Angel was still finding it hard to believe that she was in his life again. How on earth did he deserve her, maybe it was all a part of that spell after all.

No the spell was a glimpse, okay so he had only seen Buffy so far, and he wasn’t exactly suffering, in fact he had never been happier. So maybe the spell didn’t work properly, maybe it only restored Fred but didn’t harm him. Or maybe this so called suffering was yet to come.

He decided it didn’t matter, and that he wasn’t going to think about it anymore, he’d face it when and if it happened.

Besides he had other things to think about, like finding a job. On Monday he set out to do just that, but he soon realised that ‘used to be a vampire, that ran a demon fighting company, that was once an evil law firm’ really wasn’t something that one looked for when hiring.

It wasn’t as though he desperately needed the money; he was paid for his time at Wolfram and Hart, and he had saved a considerable amount. Financially his future was set, but that wasn’t the issue.

It was just that while Buffy was at work he missed her desperately, he needed something to make the hours fly by, something to occupy his time. And so far the only thing he had found was sitting in her apartment, doing nothing but sketching numerous pictures of her, until she returned home at the end of the day.

**********

On Friday when Buffy arrived home she didn’t even get a chance to get out her keys. Angel had opened the door for her, sensing her from the moment she entered the complex.

“Hey.” She said smiling at him as he helped her out of her jacket.

“Hey.” He replied, before placing a quick kiss to her lips.

“Miss me?” she asked as she slipped into his strong arms, and brought her hands up around his neck.

“That obvious”

“Yeah, but I missed you too.”

“You did?” he asked pulling his head back a little further to look at her properly.

“Of course I did. Why is that so hard to believe?” she asked scrunching her brow.

“I don’t know, everything is kind of hard to believe, like this last week, like us being together again, and like that you love me…..” he paused for a moment.

“You do love me, don’t you?”

“Want me to show you?” She asked before leaning in to kiss him.

As Buffy had left the apartment door wide open, neither of them heard Dawn walk in as they where to wrapped up in each other.

“Oh God here we go again.”

“What?” asked Buffy pulling away from Angel’s lips yet not taking her focus off him.

“You two.” Dawn said looking at them in total disgust, yet deep down she was happy for them. “But don’t mind me; I’m just here to grab some of my things. I’m staying at Amanda’s this weekend.” She said as she crossed her arms across her chest, waiting for the one hundred questions her sister usually asked whenever she wasn’t going to be home for more than a couple of hours.

“Okay.” Said Buffy, not taking her eyes of Angel and still in his tight embrace.

“What? For real. No questions, just okay?” Dawn asked wondering why Buffy wasn’t being her usual over-protective self. Not that she didn’t have an idea as to why. Her sister was a completely different person since Angel had come back into her life, and Dawn loved it. As far as she was concerned, she wanted Angel to move in, and make this change in Buffy a permanent thing.

“I trust you.” Was Buffy’s only reply.

“Really huh? Well good, I’m glad that you say that, cause were actually going out with some of her big mean biker friends.” Dawn said smiling and waiting for her sister’s explosion.

“Have fun.” Said Buffy before kissing Angel again.

Dawn was shocked, she couldn’t believe it, it was as though she didn’t exist, in a way it was annoying, but she figured since they were newly reunited that she should just take advantage of it, while she still could.

Picking up Buffy’s handbag, which lay at the kissing couples feet, she pulled out her purse.

“Anyway I’m just gonna borrow your credit card, grab my clothes, and I’ll be out of your way.” She said as she grabbed the card before dropping her sister’s bag back down to the floor, and heading towards her room.

“Nice try.” Said Buffy pulling away from Angel and turning to face Dawn, holding her hand out for the card.

“Fine.” She said giving her back the card “At least I managed to get your attention.”

Buffy blushed, realising that she indeed was so wrapped up in Angel lately, that she didn’t even seem to notice anyone else. Letting go of him completely she stepped closer to her little sister.

“I’m sorry Dawnie, I don’t meant to treat you like your not here, I’m just-”

“To wrapped up in Angel.” She finished for her.

Angel stepped forward slipping his arm around Buffy’s shoulder “Dawn it’s my fault, I just never thought that Buffy and I would ever get a chance to be together again, I guess that when we realised we could, I just got carried away.”

“It’s okay you guys, really.” She said smiling at the pair, she knew how much Angel meant to Buffy, and how much happier the slayer had been since he had been back in her life.

“No Dawnie its not, I’m sorry for neglecting you.” She grabbed her sister’s hands in hers and smiled. “Let’s do something, tonight, just the two of us.” Buffy said getting excited.

“What?” Dawn asked horrified at the idea, she had plans; she wanted to go out with her friends, not stay at home and miss all the fun. “No it’s okay really; I mean I don’t want you to start neglecting Angel too.” She said looking at Angel, pleading with him to change Buffy’s mind.

“Oh right and this has nothing to do with you going out with Amanda and her big mean biker friends then?”

“Oh see you do listen, and there are no bikers. So I’m gonna get my stuff and go now, before you really do make me stay here.”

“Hey spending time with me isn’t that bad now, is it?” she said crossing her arms and pouting.

“No it isn’t.” Said Angel kissing her pouting lips.

“Oh get a room.” Dawn said as she turned and walked to her room, only to stop at her door and turn around to face the couple again. “Oh and Buffy, you guys seriously need to invest in a new bed. I’m so sick of hearing those springs creaking all night” She said then closed her self in her room, leaving the pair in the living room embarrassed, yet trying not to laugh.

**********

That night Angel and Buffy lay in bed in each others arms after having made love.

“Angel.” She said as she snuggled in closer to him, and ran her fingers up and down his arm.

“Yeah.”

“Move in with us, for good. I mean I know you’ve been staying here lately, and I know we’ve only just gotten back together, but it feels right, doesn’t it?” she asked glancing up at him.

“Yeah it does.” He said smiling, pulling her up to his lips for a tender kiss.

Buffy sighed as she pulled away and laid her head on his shoulder. “How did we get so lucky, you know and find each other again? And now with you being human and all, I just can’t believe it’s real, it feels like all of my dreams have come true.”

“Mine too.” He said as he kissed her brow. “I love you Buffy, and I don’t know how we suddenly found each other again, I’m just glad we did. And now I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Me neither, but this time it won’t come to that.”

“No……no it won’t, I won’t let it.” He said as he pulled her even closer.

Chapter 5

~ 6 Months Later ~

Buffy was a little suspicious as to why Angel had left work early that day. In the past six months their lives had been nothing short of perfect. Angel had moved in with the girls and Buffy had gotten him a job teaching art classes at the gallery, to which he gladly accepted. He seen the job as his chance to see her every minute of the day, luckily neither of the pair got sick of the sight of each other.

It was four o’clock Friday afternoon, and they usually finished at six, yet Angel had already gone, without a word to her. She found it odd wondering what was going on; it wasn’t like Angel to just take off like that. She was brought out of her thoughts when someone came up to her, asking a question about one of the paintings.

**********

Angel had everything set, tonight was the night he was going to ask Buffy to marry him, the only problem was…..Dawn. He didn’t want to make her leave, but he wanted to have the place to themselves when he asked Buffy.

When Dawn eventually came home, she noticed that Angel was planing something. The place looked amazing, he had flowers everywhere, candles burning and the table romantically set for two. She had a feeling that she wasn’t invited to the party, so she knew Angel was going to try and get rid of her.

“Dawn.” Angel smiled as he seen her enter the apartment.

“Hey Angel.” she said as she set her things down “What are you doing home so early?”

“I uh…..didn’t have any more classes, so I came home.” He said, not wanting to tell her the real reason, not that it wasn’t obvious with the way the place looked.

“Oh okay.” Dawn didn’t buy it for a second, she knew he had taken off so he could surprise Buffy with something, and she was hoping she was right about what she thought that something was.

“Are you staying here tonight?” he asked hoping that she wasn’t, and was staying at her friends.

“Yeah actually, Amanda and a few other friends are coming over too.” She lied and tried not to burst out in laughter from the look on his face.

“Oh.” He replied wondering what to do now.

“But my mind can be changed.” She smiled

Angel caught on and knew exactly what she was up too, handing her his credit card as he would do just about anything to be alone with Buffy. But still he couldn’t believe he had given in so easily. Then again he never could say no to the summer’s women.

“Is this what you had in mind.” He said as she took it out of his hands.

“That’ll work.” She smiled before she went to her room to pack her things. She had planned to stay at her friend’s house anyway, but now they were going out, and Angel was paying.

When she got all her things together and was about to walk out of the apartment, she turned and looked at him.

“Angel, just so you know…..I planned on staying at Amanda’s anyway.”

“I thought as much.” He said

“Oh and Angel.”

“Yeah”

“I hope she says yes.” She said before smiling at him and closing the door behind her.

“Me too.” He said as he stared at the closed door.

**********

It was 6:01pm and Angel couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t wait for Buffy to get home so he could ask her, he had been playing this over and over in his mind. ‘What if she says no?’ he suddenly thought, ‘well I’ll have to wait and see’ he couldn’t keep thinking about it or it would drive him crazy.

At about 6:20pm he heard Buffy unlocking the door, jumping to his feet he picked up one of the long stemmed roses, from one of the many vases that were filed with them throughout the apartment, and walked to the door.

Just as she was about to push the door open, Angel opened it for her and she looked up at him smiling, as she pulled her keys out of the lock.

“Hey.” He said as he handed her the rose and leant in to kiss her.

When she pulled away from his lips she looked down at the rose and smiled. “What’s this for?” she asked as she brought it to her nose, in-hailing its scent.

“No reason.” He said, as he watched her step inside, and stop dead in her tracks at the sight that met her.

“Um okay…..am I in the right apartment.” She said as Angel took her things and helped her out of her jacket.

Angel only smiled, from the look on her face he could tell that she was pleased with what she had come home to.

“Are you hungry?” he asked as he placed his hand on the small of her back, leading her to the table.

“Very.” She said as she smiled at the trouble he had gone to.

“Good, because tonight I plan on spoiling you.” He said as he held out her seat.

Still holding the rose in her hand, Buffy sat down and tilted her head, motioning for him to kiss her.

Angel locked his lips with hers instantly, then kneeled in front of her when the kiss deepened, cupping her face between his hands.

**********

“I wonder how he is, I mean if he’s asked the question yet” said Fred as she lay in Wes’s arms. The last six months of their lives were incredible and something they never thought they would get a chance to have.

“Who?” Wes asked as he kissed her brow.

“Angel.” She said as she snuggled in closer to him.

“Well I seen him not long ago and he seemed fine.”

“Oh no I don’t mean that.” She said as she tilted her head a little to look at him.

“Well what do you mean?” He asked as he tuck a stray hair behind her ear.

“Well last week I went out shopping with him, said he needed someone to help him with buying a ring.” She smiled excited that one of her closest friends was getting engaged, well if everything went to plan.

“A ring, as in an engagement ring?” Wes asked

“Yeah, he needed someone to try it on for him, so he asked if I would.”

“And?” He asked having had no idea that Angel was asking Buffy to marry him, yet hoping that the slayer had said yes.

“It fit.” She said, knowing what he meant but loved teasing him all the same.

“I mean what did she say.”

“I don’t know, that’s what I’m wondering.” She said as she smiled at him.

“She’ll say yes.” Wes said feeling positive that he was right.

“You think?” Fred asked getting even more excited for Angel.

“Yeah.”

“Good, I’m glad. Angel deserves to be happy.”

“And you?” He asked as he looked into her eyes.

“I am happy.” She said before placing a peck on his lips.

“No I mean what would you say?” He asked, feeling a little nervous.

“Are you asking?” She said sitting up a little higher on the bed so she was now looking him directly in the eyes.

“I think I am.” He said never having felt so sure in his life.

“Well then I think I’m saying yes.” She said before pressing her lips against his in a loving kiss.

**********

After they ate dinner, Angel became more and more nervous knowing that he wanted to ask her soon, but he just wasn’t sure if it was the right time. Turning on some music, he asked her dance with him, thinking that he just needed time to word it properly.

They stood there not really dancing but swaying in each others arms to the slow music as they kissed. Angel couldn’t have felt happier in his life, but at the same time he couldn’t have felt more nervous either.

Sensing Angel’s unease as she looked at him, she finally asked what was bothering him.

“Angel, are you okay?” She asked with a worried look in her eyes.

“Yeah I’m fine, why?”

“Because you seem a little….distracted.” she said still not convinced that everything was all right.

“There is something.” He whispered.

“Oh great.” She said disappointed and preparing herself for the worst.

This was the part where he was going to tell her what she meant to him, how much he loved her. That his life in the last six months was so much better than all the years he had lived before. This was where he was going to say the most romantic words he would ever get to in his life. But he couldn’t, he panicked thinking that she thought he was going to hurt her.

“I…..I had all these things I was going to say.” He said reaching into his pocket.

“What do you mea-.” She paused when she seen him pull out a small box, and her eyes widened with shock when he opened it.

“Oh my God.” She said as tears welled in her eyes. “Angel.” She chocked out as they spilled free.

“Buffy like I said, there was so much that I wanted to tell you about what you mean to me. But really all I know and all that seems to matter is….that I love you.” Taking the ring out of the box and sliding it onto her finger he asked “Will you marry me?”

Looking at the white gold band on her finger that held a rather large square cut diamond she was speechless. Was this really happening? Was Angel really asking her to marry him? Or was this another one of her fantasies? Realising that this was real and no dream, she looked up at him with a smile on her face.

“Yes.” She said, never having felt so happy in her life.

Angel knew that if he were still the vampire with a soul that he was before, then this would have been that moment of true happiness he was never able to have. She had said yes, she wanted to marry him, and all he could do was kiss her.

After long minutes of Buffy’s happy tears, and kisses that were only going to lead to one thing, the pair eventually moved to their room, continuing the celebration there.

Chapter 6

“Angel she was all over you, don't even try to tell me that you didn't notice.” Buffy spat, as she thought about the blonde girl she caught Angel talking to when she returned from her lunch break earlier that day. She was later told by Angel that the girl was in fact Nina, the one and same that Angel had gone out with not long after Buffy had moved back to the states. She still remembered dropping by to see him only to find out he was out with another woman. And even though she was the one who was wearing his ring, it still hurt to see him with her.

“No I didn't Buffy.” he said as he turned to face her “And even if she was, that doesn't change anything.” Since they had left work that day Buffy had been awfully quite, and had chose not to talk about it, even though Angel knew it was all she was thinking about. He knew they would get around to the subject sooner or later, Buffy never let anything go. Especially when it involved another woman.

“Are you sure about that?” She asked as she placed the palms of her hands on the kitchen counter behind her, trying to steady herself. She hadn't been feeling well lately, the dizzy spells and the mornings spent on her knees by the toilet, was what made her see the doctor earlier that day.

“Yes Buffy, you’re the only one I want.” He said as he approached her, leaving the stove where he was preparing dinner, to reassure her.

“Well then why didn't you tell her that?” she asked as she crossed her arms and looked up at him with an annoyed gaze. She wanted to believe him, but for some reason it just upset her to much seeing them two together.

“Because she didn't ask.” he stated smiling, he couldn't understand why she was making a big deal out of it, he was only talking to the girl.

“Very funny Angel.” she said as she walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, dropping herself down on the couch.

“Well what did you want me to say?” He followed her out wiping his hands on the tea towel. “Oh hey Nina, I want Buffy so go away.”

“Is that so much to ask.” she said looking down at the coffee table.

“What is this really about?” he asked looking down at her and slinging the small towel over his shoulder.

“Well it's funny that I left for lunch, and when I got back you were to busy to talk to me because Nina was there.” she said mimicking the other blondes name.

“Buffy if you wanted to talk to me, you could have walked right up to me and said so.” he said softly as he leant forward to brush a few strands of her hair out of her face and tuck them behind her ear.

“Oh no, I didn't want to interrupt anything.” she said looking into his eyes, and trying not to let his sweet gesture side track her, when she was just so mad about it all.

“Are you serious?” he said pulling his hand away, and standing right in front of her “Buffy I don’t know what this is about, but let it go.”

“What?” she asked frustrated, as she rose to her feet.

“You heard me.” he said annoyed.

“Oh right so I'm supposed to just ignore the fact that you were talking to someone that you were out having breakfast with, when I came by to see you almost a year ago. And now she's back, and is what? Suddenly interested in art, and taking your classes......you know what, if you want her then just tell me” She said giving him a look that he hated being on the receiving end of.

“You know what, I don’t want to talk about this, it’s stupid” he spat.

“Fine you know what be like that, leave me because she's prettier, and I 'm just fat.” She said as she burst out in tears.

Angel just looked at her in disbelief, what the hell was she talking about. “Buffy no one is prettier then you…..and you’re not fat.”

“Yeah right, I’m fat and ugly and you don’t want me.” She sobbed.

“Why would you say that?” He asked as he took the two steps that separated them, and wrapped his arms around her. “You know yourself that there’s never been a time that I haven't wanted you” he whispered into her ear, before pulling her away to face her. “What’s going on?"

She couldn’t look at him, but she had to tell him no matter how upset she felt. “I'm pregnant.” she said

“What?” it came out in almost a whisper, before a huge grin crossed his face. This was the last thing he was expecting to hear, he wasn’t even sure that he had heard her right. "Your preg-"

He didn’t get to finish, as she let go of him and ran for the bathroom, covering her mouth with her hand. As she fell to her knees by the bowl, Angel was beside her in a second, holding back her hair and rubbing her back as she emptied her stomach.

When she felt like she was done, she sat back against the cool tiles as Angel grabbed a washer and rinsed it under the tap. Slowly she came to her feet and walked over to the basin. Angel stood beside her patting her face and neck with the cloth as she brushed her teeth and rinsed her mouth.

“Why didn’t you tell me.” he whispered into her hair, holding her from behind and pressing her back against his chest.

“I found out at lunch, and when I got back to work…..I seen you with her.” She said as she looked at his reflection in the mirror. Something as simple as seeing him in the mirror still took her breath away, no matter how she was feeling. Months ago this would have been something she never could have seen happening, standing here in her bathroom, engaged and pregnant to Angel.

“Oh Buffy, Nina is nothing to me, if anything she’s just a friend that I helped out when I was working for Wolfram and Hart, but you.........you're my everything, and I don’t’ think that I have done anything to make you second guess that.”

Still looking into the mirror she softened at his words “I know I'm sorry……I don’t mean to be so jealous and all, its just the hormones....I think. Or maybe it’s just me.” she said before he picked her up in his arms and carried her over to the couch, where he gently lay her down.

“So were going to have a baby.” he smiled sitting on the table, as he ran his fingers across her abdomen, trying not to press to firmly worried he might upset her stomach again.

“Yeah.” Smiling up at him she ran her hand down to where his was, pressing his against her tummy. "You’re going to be a dad." she said looking up at him and seeing his teary eyes, before he leant in to kiss her.

**********

“So he got her pregnant hey.” Spike said after he overheard Fred's squeal of delight and the rest of the conversation when she answered the call from Angel.

“Uh yeah.” she said changing her expression, not sure how the blonde vampire was taking the news.

“Well good I'm happy for her.”

“Really?” asked Wes

“Yeah really, I always wanted her to be happy you know. And if peaches is the one that makes her happy, then peaches it is.” he said hopping off the counter and walking out of the lab.

“He doesn’t look happy.” Fred said as she watched him go.

“No, no he doesn’t.” Wes agreed.

Standing out in the hall Spike wished he could be as happy as he just made out he was, but truth be told he really didn’t know what to feel. Sure he still loved the slayer, but that wasn’t it, it was the spell, the one he was never supposed to remember. He had done everything he could to act as if he had no idea, going along with the story Wes told about how Angel stopped Illyria.

He never understood why the spell never worked on him; maybe it was the whole vampire with a soul thing, who knows. As much as he hated seeing his grandsire given his redemption for doing nothing, he wouldn’t have swapped places with him for anything. He knew that Angel and Buffy had the perfect life, but he also knew that the Powers That Be wouldn’t let him get away that easily.

Angel was going to have a big price to pay, and the happier his grandsires life got, the worse it would all be in the end.

**********

“It's not the end of the world.” He said as he followed closely behind her.

“How can you say that?” She asked throwing him a glance over her shoulder.

“Because it's just chocolate, not vampire’s.”

“But it's my favourite chocolate, and I'm not leaving until we find it.” she said as she looked at the numerous different chocolates on the shelf.

“So your planning on camping out here tonight then?” he asked smiling at her, it was just so funny the way she got without her chocolate.

“You know, we'd be out of here alot sooner if you actually helped” she said as she kept inspecting the shelves.

“Hey I'm not the one who's desperate for it.”

“Well fine if I don't get my chocolate, then your not getting any.” she teased, yet it had an effect on him as he shook his head smiling at her, then finally started to help her look.

It was late Friday night and they were at the convenient store of all places, looking for chocolate. Since Angel had proposed to Buffy two months ago, they had found something else to celebrate. Now that Buffy was twelve weeks pregnant, her cravings were too much for Angel to keep up with. But he loved it anyway, he loved everything that came with her pregnancy, the mornings he spent holding back her hair as she sat by the toilet bowl bringing up anything she would try to digest. He loved hearing her complaints and even her mood swings were amusing, not that he had the guts to tell her that. Mostly he was just so happy that she was carrying his child. Everything was going perfectly, nothing could come between them, they were more in love then they had ever been.

Since they found out about the pregnancy five weeks ago, they had even decided to rush their wedding plans; they were now getting married in two days. It was going to be simple, just the two of them and Dawn as their witness, in a small church. They thought at one point that doing what Wes and Fred had done last month and flying to Vegas was a good idea. But when they came across a little white church one night when they had gone out for a walk, something about it just called out to them, and they just knew that they had to be married in it.

As Angel kept on inspecting the shelves, he looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

“What?” she asked noticing his stare.

He said nothing but smiled at her as he moved closer, pressing his lips against hers in a deep and passionate kiss. “What was that for?” Buffy asked eyes still half closed as he pulled away.

“Just because I love you.”

“I love you too.” she smiled “But I still need my chocolate.” she said returning her attention to finding it.

Angel only smiled back, and then went about helping her again. He ventured further down into the isle, trying to find it even though he really couldn’t remember what it looked like. Lately Buffy had a different favourite chocolate everyday. He picked up a few different ones only to set them back down, oh well as long as he looked like he was helping, then that was the main thing.

Seeing someone out of the corner of his eye he stepped aside to let them pass, but when they didn’t move it caused him to look up. He paused when he seen who it was, fear and shock covering his face. There stood Willow gazing at the once vampire with a sad look in her eyes, he reeled back at the sight of her, remembering the spell she had cast months ago.

“Found it.” yelled Buffy as she held the chocolate in her hands, looking over at Angel.

Angel turned from Willow and Ran towards Buffy, he knew he was meant to go to the Wicca, but he couldn't, he couldn't leave Buffy, this just wasn't fair.

“See.” she said as she threw it in her basket, along with a few other items she had picked up, mostly sweets.

“We have to go.” Is all he managed to say as he constantly looked back at Willow.

“Were going, keep your pants on....geez what is it with guys and shopping?” she said as Angel gripped her shoulders from behind, and led her to the checkout.

Willow stood there, shaking her head, wishing she was able to speak. ‘No Angel No.’ she thought to herself, he was supposed to follow the rules, if not the consequences were just too dire. She wanted to run up to him and stop him, but she couldn't move, and with Angel being the only one that could see her, she couldn’t exactly try for Buffy's attention.

He was supposed to come to her, it was his choice and she couldn't make him choose. As much as she wanted to, it wasn’t only that she wasn't allowed, but she just didn’t have the power to.

Chapter 7

“Do you want to tell me what that was all about?” She asked looking at him a little concerned. Angel had rushed them out of the convenient store and back home constantly looking over his shoulder.

“Nothing.” he said still panicked as he locked the door hoping that Willow hadn't followed him back.

“No, you have something face.” She said as she grabbed the carry bag out of his hands and placed it on the couch.

Stepping closer to her he cupped her face between his hands. “I love you Buffy, and I'm never going to leave okay, you have to believe me.” he said as the tears welled in his eyes.

Fear struck her instantly she had never seen Angel so upset, and she couldn't understand what had happened to cause this sudden change in behaviour. “Angel you’re scaring me, what's going on?”

Moving his hands up under her hair he gripped her a little tighter. “I choose you okay......I choose you.” he said before he seized her lips. He loved her so much and he couldn't go back to the way his life had been before, not now he couldn't leave Buffy and their baby.

“Angel....” she tried to protest pulling away from his lips.

“I want to make love to you.” he whispered seizing her lips with his own once again. Buffy let Angel lead them to their room, When he gently laid her down on the bed, she could fell something was different, everything was so much more urgent, intense. She knew something was wrong if not from the things Angel had just said to her, then from this feeling deep inside her. It scared her to see Angel this way, he was always the strong one, always the champion, and now he just seemed so.....weak.

**********

Hours later Angel lay still watching Buffy sleep beside him, it had been eight months since Willow cast the spell for the so called glimpse, and in that eight months the only thing he had done was make his dreams come true by being with Buffy. His life had been truly perfect and he knew that they wanted to take it away, but he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't walk away from her again, he loved her to much and now she was also carrying his child. He couldn't give up his only chance at happiness for............Fred's life. He suddenly realised as he lay there next to his fiancée stroking her slightly swollen tummy that that was the price. Angel was supposed to choose, and it was either obviously what he had with Buffy or Fred's life.

He knew he was being selfish but he couldn't be the man he used to be, he couldn't be that champion anymore, he couldn't be anything without his Buffy. Besides he ran from Willow so maybe just maybe Fred would be all right after all, it's not like he had actually gone to the Wicca and made his choice. Looking over his beloveds face, he leant over her and placed a gentle kiss to her lips, everything would be all right, he just had to believe it would.

He continued to softly rub her tummy, smiling at the slight bulge, he was going to have a baby with the love of his life; finally he had everything he ever wanted. He leant down and started to whisper soft words to her stomach, trying not to wake Buffy, and hoping that the baby would somehow hear. Buffy stirred from his touch and slowly opened her eyes. She smiled when she felt his hand stroking her tummy and seen Angel's head hovering over it, whispering to their baby.

“I can't wait to meet you.” he said looking at her bulge lovingly.

Buffy raised her hand and gently ran her fingers through his dark hair. He instantly looked up at her.

“Sorry I didn't mean to wake you.” he whispered before climbing back up the bed and brushing his lips against her brow.

“It's okay.” she whispered still half asleep as she let her other hand fall down to his on her tummy. She looked up and could see that he was staring down at their hands, and deep in thought. “What are you thinking about?”

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her “Us, our family.” he said before returning his gaze back to her stomach and entwining their hands.

She smiled “Really? Well what about us and our family?”

“I can't wait Buffy, to be a father I mean, I'm going to give her everything she needs.” he said as tears welled in his eyes, this time around he was going to get it right, he was going to give their daughter all the things he couldn't give Connor. It still hurt that he never got a chance to be the father that boy needed. But he knew he was happy, and that was enough for Angel.

He had told Buffy about the situation many months ago, he hadn't been sure how she was going to take the news. Granted she was hurt that he had had a child with Darla, but what hurt her more was that Angel had to give him up to save his life. She had cried for him that night, and had made a promise that she would never leave him, that she would be the one thing that was never taken away from him.

She brought her hand up to caress his face “Her?”

Angel smiled at her as he leant into her gentle caress “Yeah, she's going to be just like you.” he whispered before tilting his head and kissing the palm of her hand.

She fought back the tears as her hand fell from his cheek to his shoulder, then gently she pressed her lips against his. “Thank you.” she said as she brushed her brow against his.

“For what?” he asked as he brought his hand up to brush her jaw.

“For finding me again? And making me happier than I've ever been in my life.” a single tear slipped free and fell down her cheek.

“No Buffy thank you, for giving me another chance.”

“Always Angel.....Always.” she captured his lips again and this time with a kiss that expressed her undying love for him.

**********

The next morning Buffy woke feeling slightly light headed, she had a feeling she was going to be sick, so she padded out into the living room and over to the bathroom. Closing the door behind her so as not to let the smell of the breakfast Angel had made waft into there as well. Mornings were always the worst for her; everything just seemed to make her sick, especially the smell of food.

She took her usual place on her knees in front of the toilet, but nothing happened she didn’t' need to be sick after all. That meant that she was just having another one of those feeling crappy kinda days.

She got up and walked over to the basin, grabbing a hair band she put her blonde locks up in a pony tail on the top of her head. She reached for the tap when suddenly she felt as though she was chocking.

Angel tapped lightly on the bathroom door “Baby are you okay?” he whispered, before pushing it open slightly. He froze suddenly as he seen buffy cough up blood, some splashing onto the mirror, until she went limp and felt backwards into Angel's already open arms.

“Buffy, Buffy.” He yelled as he pat her face trying to wake her. He gripped her tighter in his arms, as he fell back on the cold tiles. “Buffy, please.” He chocked. He didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t even think straight, it felt like his whole world was crumbling before him, and all he could do was hold her in his arms.

Suddenly his cell started ringing; freeing one hand he reached into his pocket and clicked the button as he brought it up to his ear.

“Angel.”

“Spike?” Angel questioned, not real sure why the vampire was calling him, they weren’t exactly the best of friends. Maybe it was another one of those calls that he had previously received, when the vampire had called to tell Angel he was a great poof and that the viper suited Spike better. It didn’t bother Angel though; he knew it was all because he had Buffy.

“Yeah, we’ve got a situation here, it’s Fred.”

“Spike I’ve got one here myself.” He said as he looked down at the unconscious Buffy in his arms.

“What’s up?” the blonde vampire asked, lately he had been worried about the spell Willow had cast, and just counting down the days till something happened. He hoped, hell even prayed that today wasn’t that day.

“It’s Buffy.” There they were the words the blonde vampire didn’t want to hear.

“What about her?” he asked.

“Something’s wrong, she’s coughed up some blood and now she’s………..wait, what’s wrong with Fred?” He asked hoping that the pieces that he was slowly putting together in his head didn’t fit.

“It’s back Angel.” Spike whispered somehow sharing Angel’s thoughts.

“What do you mean?” Angel spat, not having time to waste, he needed to get Buffy to a hospital.

“Illyria. We don’t know how, but she’s inside her again.” As spike continued explaining the situation to Angel the once vampire looked over Buffy, trying as hard as he could to push the thoughts out of his head that were telling him that the two were somehow related.

“Spike listen, I need a favour.” He hated asking the blonde vampire for one but he’d do anything for Buffy. “I need to get Buffy over there, something really bad is wrong here, I can feel it.” He said as he stroked her cheek.

“Okay, I’ll send a car.” He replied and in the next second had hung up the phone and was rushing out to Harmony.

“Thanks.” He whispered even though Spike had already hung up.

The car arrived within minutes, but still it felt like the longest of Angel’s life, as he sat there on the cold bathroom floor, nursing his entire world in his arms.

Chapter 8

--------------------

“I still can't believe were engaged.” Buffy said excited, holding her hand up looking at her ring as she lay in bed with her fiancée.

“I'm just glad you said yes.” he whispered kissing her temple.

“Well I'm just glad you asked.” she said tilting her head slightly to face him.

He reached out and grabbed the hand she still had slightly raised in the air and entwined his fingers between hers. “I love you so much Buffy, I never thought I would ever be lucky enough to get you back.......and now-”

“Were going to get married.” she exclaimed with a huge grin on her face.

“Yes we are, and I'm going to make you so happy.” he said placing a peck on her nose.

“Promise.” she said inching herself closer to his lips.

“Cross my heart.” he whispered before he lightly kissed her lips

--------------------

Angel stood out in the hall pacing; wondering what was going on, what was wrong with Buffy.

“So what did they say?” He asked Wes as he seen him leave Fred's room.

“Same as last time, her organs are liquefying, she's slowly becoming a shell again.” he whispered trying to force the tears away.

“I'm sorry.” was all Angel could say as he lowered his head feeling guilty.

“Why Angel, it's not your fault.” Wes said as he slumped against the wall.

“Yes it is, I had a choice and I couldn't make it. So now Fred dies again, and Buffy.......I might lose her too.” He said looking up at Wes with tears welling in his eyes.

“I don't understand.” Said a confused Wes shaking his head and looking at his distraught friend.

“No you just don’t remember, you’re not supposed to.” He said as he himself slumped against the wall straight across from Wes.

“What are you talk-” Wes paused as he noticed Angel push himself off the wall and walk towards the doctor who had just walked out of Buffy's room.

“Well?” Angel asked the doctor wanting to know how Buffy was yet petrified at the same time.

“She has the same symptoms of Winifred Burkle.” The doctor said still unsure of how it was possible for the two to be infected by the demon when Angel had destroyed it and its tomb months ago.

“No not Buffy.” Angel said shaking his head as the tears welled in his eyes.

“I'm afraid so.” the doctor whispered.

No this couldn't be right, Buffy couldn't be infected by the demon it just wasn't possible. The demon was gone, with no way of returning. According to Wesley, Angel had killed Illyria months ago using some of the darkest magic’s that even the greater demons wouldn’t touch. So Illyria couldn't be back, there was no way a demon could return from something like that, or so he thought. Maybe he was wrong. Suddenly Angel's head shot up as he realised something else.

“The baby, she's pregnant, is the baby.....?” He paused when he seen the look in the doctors eyes.

“I'm sorry but her body temperature is rising with each passing second, and her.........”

“Stop.” Angel demanded raising his fists to his ears, blocking out whatever it was the doctor wanted to say. “It can't.” Angel whispered raising his head as his tears slipped past his lashes and fell down his cheeks, and in the next second he started backing away from the two men as Wes looked on feeling his pain.

--------------------

“Buffy why do you do that?” he said smiling and walking back down the path towards her.

“Huh.” she said slowly taking her eyes off what she was looking at and looking back to him.

“Let me keep walking along talking to myself, thinking your right there.”

“Oh sorry.” she said looking at him and smiling, before looking away again.

“It's just........” she paused as she looked over the object that seemed to have her in a trance.

“What?” he asked following her gaze.

“Its' beautiful.” she whispered, as she stood there looking at the small white church, and the way it seemed to glow in the moonlight.

“It is.” he smiled grabbing her hand and bringing it up to his lips. “Do you want to get married in it?” he asked her as he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her.

“What? But I thought we were going to Vegas.” she said trying to hide her smile.

“Well we could still do that, but this place, it's just.....”

“Perfect.” she finished, there wasn't anything in particular about the church that struck them, but somehow they knew that this was where they would be married.

“Yeah perfect.” he whispered looking her over.

She smiled at him “Everything’s perfect, and it always will be.” she whispered inches from his lips, before she brushed them with her own

“Always.” he whispered in between kisses.

--------------------

After wondering around the Wolfram and Hart building for about an hour trying to think of something to do, eventually he came up with nothing other than to go see his girl.

He was about to walk into her room, but he paused at the doorway when he heard her sister talking to her.

Dawn held Buffy's hand in hers as she cried, Buffy was still unconscious, but Dawn could have sworn she had a smile on her face when her little sister told her she loved her. “You know you can't keep doing this to us, don't you?” she asked as she wiped at her tears with her other hand. “I'm so sick of you dying all the time, it's really getting old Buffy.” she barely managed to chock out. “I love you so much and I'm not going through this again, so you have to fight okay, you have to get better and marry Angel and live happily ever after.” She pulled her chair closer and leant in to whisper something to her sister. “I don't think he'll make it without you Buffy........and I don't think I will either.” she said before dropping her head down to the bed and sobbing uncontrollably.

Angel slowly walked into the room and placed his large hand on Dawn's back, she sat up instantly then rose to her feet when she seen it was Angel. Throwing her arms around him she sobbed “This just isn't fair, why Buffy, Angel............why?” she asked digging her head into his chest.

Angel felt so guilty as he knew deep down it was all his fault. Damn it he should have made the choice when he had the chance to, then maybe Buffy wouldn’t be lying there after all. But now there was nothing he could do but hold his love's little sister in his arms and try to reassure her. “She’s going to make it Dawnie, I won't let her die.” he whispered.

“Angel it’s too late, the doctor sai-”

“I know what he said, but I wont give up.........I can't.” He said looking at his love's pale face as she lay still in the bed.

Dawn pulled away from his embrace and wiped at her eyes, noticing that Angel's attention was on Buffy, she squeezed his hand tightly before slipping out of the room, and giving him some time alone with her.

Slowly he walked a little closer to the bed, trying to hold in his tears. He eased himself into the chair that sat by the bed which Dawn had recently occupied and brought his hand up to stroke her hair.

Her eyes slowly fluttered open, and Angel rose from the chair and gently sat down on the bed next to her. A small smile crossed her face as she looked up at him “My Angel.” she whispered as he brought her hand up to his lips.

He knew it then, as though reality had finally struck him, he knew that even tough he had made an empty promise to her sister there was nothing more he could do but place a kiss against Buffy’s brow while his tears spilled free.

Chapter 9

“Hey.” he whispered forcing a smile on his face. He couldn’t let her know how bad things really were.

Buffy lay there in bed in one of the rooms of the Wolfram and Hart building, she had no idea what was going on, she didn't even know why she was there. All that Buffy seemed to be able to remember was lying in bed with Angel, talking about their unborn child. She reached down to her stomach and tenderly ran her hand over it; a small smile crossed her face.

Angel watched Buffy's hand and it tore him up that she didn't know what was going on, she didn't know that she had lost the baby. But he didn’t realise that she knew that something felt extremely different. If it wasn't for the burning feeling sweeping through her, than it was the look in Angel's eyes that tipped her off. Something of the very bad was wrong.

“Angel.” she whispered gripping his hand as tightly as she could, that was another thing that surprised her, her strength it was as if it was gone. Not just the slayer strength, but even that of a regular woman. “What's going on?” she asked panicking slightly as she stared down at their hands.

“Shhhhh, it's okay, everything is going to be okay.” he tried to reassure her.

/ Talk to me softly, there's something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow, and please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've, I've been there before
Somethin's changin' inside you, and don't you know /

“Why am I here?” she asked growing a little more afraid with each passing second “Tell me.” she pleaded, as she tried to sit up on the bed.

Angel lightly gripped her shoulders and settled her back down on the bed. “Don't move……just relax okay.”

“Well then tell me what's going on.” she begged in a shaky voice.

Angel just looked at her for a moment, how was he going to tell her that she had lost the baby, the baby she wanted so badly. And not just that, but now she was also dieing. How was he going to tell her that even tough he swore to make her happy that he was the reason she was like this? How was he going to live with what he had done to the only person who ever gave meaning to his life?

“Okay.” he whispered. “There's this demon Illyria, its tomb was sent to this office months ago. Its essence got inside of Fred’s body when she touched something on the tomb, and we couldn’t do anything to stop it. We couldn’t get rid of it. Anyway now Illyria’s essence, it’s somehow gotten inside of you.”

“What?” she asked once again trying to sit up, only to be intercepted by Angel.

“It’s making a shell out of you.” A single tear fell down his cheek.

“I.....I don't understand.” she whispered before she started coughing.

Angel sat there and gently explained the situation, yet left out the spell that he had Willow cast. He wouldn't tell her how, but all he would say was that it was all his fault, even though that only confused her more.

“So I lost the baby?” her voice trembling as tears welled in her eyes.

“Yeah.........I'm so sorry Buffy.”

“Why, I don't understand, why did I lose the baby? Why am I sick? Why is this thing inside of me?” She asked sobbing.

“I don't know.” he lied as the tears fell down his face, he knew why; it was because he couldn't make a choice, because he agreed to this glimpse in the first place.

“So I'm going to die?” she looked up at him so innocently, that that look was what really hurt him. Buffy had risked her life countless times to save the world; she’d even lost it twice in the process. But never would Angel have thought that his selfishness would have done it the third time.

“Buffy, shhhhh..........I'll find a way, I don't care what I have to do, I won’t let you go.”

/ Don't you cry tonight, I still love you baby Don't you cry tonight, don't you cry tonight There's a heaven above you baby, and don't you cry tonight /

Angel thought of something he never thought of before, and as Buffy drift off to sleep he leant forward and kissed her soft lips before leaving to find a way to help her.

He marched himself right into his old office, now Spike's office and found it empty. Picking up the phone the dialled Giles number trying to get a hold of Willow, but after a long and heated argument with the watcher he hung up the phone and resorted to yelling out the Wicca’s name as loud as he could. But to no affect, she didn't appear.

So that was it, there was nothing else he could do, but go back to Buffy and not leave her side. Walking back towards her room he noticed the Wicca standing at the door watching the slayer sleep.

“Willow.” Angel exclaimed a little hope in his voice

She turned gazing at him, with that exact same look on her face that she had last night when he ran from her in the store. “What do I have to choose, just tell me…….I'll do anything to save her.” he begged.

Tears welled in her eyes, and she wished so much that it was that simple “It's too late Angel.” she whispered, looking away from the crushed vampire.

“No.” he said shaking his head “No it's not too late, it will never be too late.....you have to help me save her.” he chocked out, even though deep down he knew that it was in fact too late.

“I can't, I wish I could…….but I can't.” She sobbed, backing away from the door and leaning against the wall.

“I don't understand.......why, why Buffy? It should be me, this glimpse it never had anything to do with her.”

“Angel it was all about her.” She returned her gaze to him.

“What?” he asked as he took a couple of steps closer.

“They gave you your humanity, they knew she was in L.A. and that the inevitable would happen and you two would find each other again. They knew that when there was no longer anything keeping you two apart, that you would do everything in your power to get her back. So you got the perfect life, which was exactly what they wanted, before................before they took it away.”

“So you’re saying they brought us together, that the only reason Buffy is with me is because of them, she's doing this without free will.”

“No Angel, Buffy’s with you because she's in love with you, more than ever. There's no spell behind that, everything you guys have shared in the last few months, has been real.”

“Then what?” He asked more confused than ever before.

“This is where you were supposed to suffer remember. I told you when I cast the spell that they would make a champion suffer, that was the price.” She wished she wasn’t the bearer of bad news, and she hated that she had to be the one to tell him there was no way to save her. She also hated that he broke the rules and hadn’t come to her last night, if he had then at least Buffy wouldn’t be in this situation, at least she wouldn’t be dieing.

“And if I had of come to you last night?” It was as though he were reading her thoughts.

“You would have had to choose between Fred's life, and what you have with Buffy.”

“Then I'll choose now.” He said as though he thought the solution was as simple as that.

“Angel you can't, it's too late.”

“No damn it....it's not too late, you can save her Willow, so do something.” He said grasping at any little bit of hope he still had.

“Angel if I could, I would have done it by now.”

“You did it once before.” he yelled.

“And that’s why it can’t be done again; she’s already been given new life” She tried to explain to him, but it fell on deaf ears.

“And you can do it again; you can give her a second chance.”

“Angel, this was her second chance.” She had to make him understand, even though she hated hitting the last nail in the coffin, he had to understand that it was over.

Angel flinched at the realisation; he had taken Buffy’s second chance at life and thrown it away. He could have saved her last night, but he cared more about himself.

“Then what are you doing here?” he spat.

“I've been sent to get you.” she whispered “The glimpse…….it's over.”

“What? So does that mean that Buffy…….that things go back to the way they were, and she's not sick?”

“No Angel, remember what I said, what happens really happens, this isn't another dimension, and were not turning back the hands of time. Were just breaking the spell, that means that everyone will remember but some won’t be around to remember.”

“No.” he whispered

“I'm sorry Angel but you were warned, you should have come to me last night.” She hated repeating herself, but he really should have come to her when he had the chance.

“I couldn't, I can't........I can't go back to that life Willow, I need her, I need Buffy.” He said falling to his knees and sobbing.

“You have to Angel, and we have to go now.” said the Wicca who was also sobbing. She walked towards him and kneeled down in front of him, taking his hands in hers.

“No.” Angel yelled pulling his hands away knowing what the Wicca was about to do, she was about to take him from Buffy ,and no matter what he wouldn't leave her, not now, not ever.

“Angel you have to, you can't break the rules anymore than you already have, it won’t change anything……..she will still die.” she said begging him as he rose to his feet.

“Fuck the rules.” he spat getting up and walking away from the Wicca and towards Buffy's room. Willow looked on before disappearing without the champion.

/ Give me a whisper, and give me a sigh Don't you take it so hard now, and please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinking of you, and the times we had ... baby /

When he walked into her room he was startled to find her on her feet leaning against the wall as she stared out the window.

“Buffy, you should be in bed.” he said rushing towards her.

“No.” she spat “I don't like it here, it reminds me of hospitals and I hate hospitals……I want to go home” She sobbed as he pulled her into his arms.

“Okay, I'll take you home.” He said brushing a kiss against her temple.

“Thank you.” she sniffled before he picked her up in his arms, and carried her home.

**********

“I swear Angel, I was going to be the best mom, I swear I was.” she said clutching at her stomach while rocking backwards and forwards on the bed.

He stepped closer and reached out to touch her face, he hated seeing her like this, in so much pain “I know you were Buf-”

“Don't touch me.” she spat, looking up at him with pure hatred in her eyes “No one can touch me, do you understand?” she snapped, causing Angel to look on confused and hurt.

He was about to say something, ask her why, but he remembered what Wes had told him about how Fred had reacted when Illyria had taken over her body the first time. How there were moments where she didn't know better, and now that same thing was happening to Buffy, and to Fred again.

**********

“Angel doesn't understand what he's done Wesley, he doesn't understand.” Fred said looking at her husband petrified.

“What do you mean? I don’t know what you mean.”

“Does he think he can play games with them, that he can beat them? They are the powers, they can do whatever they like.” she said huddling herself into a ball against the wall in the corner of her room.

“Angel, the powers. Fred you’re not making any sense.”

“I'm making perfect sense, but no one understands me.” she whispered.

“I'm sorry.” he said tears welling in his eyes.

“I'm not.” she whispered as he sat down on the floor beside her. He pulled her into his arms and ran his fingers through her hair. He could see that she was Fred again, sometimes she had these moments, where she didn’t know what was going on and numerous thoughts swam through her head. But they were slowing down the weaker she became. “I love you book man.” She said before coughing.

“I love you too.” he smiled, then kissed her brow as his tears started to fall.

/ And don't you cry tonight, don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight, there's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight /

**********

“When I die, this time....will everyone be sad?” she whispered stretching out her legs on her bed, she liked it more at home, she didn’t feel as ill there.

“Buffy, your not going to di-”

She didn’t let him finish, because she didn’t believe him. “Yes. I. Am.” She stated.

“No, Buffy” he said gripping her hand tighter, he couldn’t let her give up, maybe she’d make it. She was strong after all; maybe Illyria couldn’t defeat the slayer.

“I want you to take care of Dawn, tell her I love her, and I'm so proud of her.”

“Buffy please don't” He couldn't bare hearing her ask this of him, this wasn't it, things weren't supposed to end like this; she couldn't die because of him.

“Angel please, just do this for me...........Tell Giles that I always thought of him as my father, even though at times he did things to hurt me, I know it was because he thought it was for the best. Tell Willow and Xander that I love them, and never please don't ever forget that I love you more than I've ever loved anything in this life. You'll always be with me Angel, and I’ll always be with you.......I swear.”

“But it's my fault Buffy, it's all my fault........I did this to you, how could you love me after what I did?” He asked moving up on the bed to be closer to her, tears streaking his face as he peppered kisses on her hand.

“You didn't do anything but love me in a way no other could.” She said, eyes half closed as if her body was giving up on her.

“No you don't understand, it was all a glimpse, you don’t know.”

Her eyes shot open “I do Angel, I know everything.”

“How?” He looked on, not understanding how she could.

“It just came to me, like I was meant to know.”

“But you’re not supposed to, no one is.” He was sure that Willow had said no one would know about the spell, but he and the Wicca. But Spike knew, and he didn’t know why, and now Buffy too, what could this mean?

“Yeah well mom was never meant to know Dawn was the key, but she found out. Angel I don’t know why I know, but it feels like everything is clear now, and it’s because the spell she cast is breaking.” So that was why, but it still didn’t explain how Spike knew. He told Angel earlier that he had known all along, none of this was making any sense at all.

“I won’t leave you Buffy, I wont.” He said looking into her tired green eyes.

“I don’t want you to.” She whispered

“And I won’t, I swear.”

“Angel can you please just hold me?” She begged, she just needed to be in his arms, and everything would be okay.

He moved even closer and picked her up, setting her down on his lap as she rest her head in the crook of his neck.

**********

“Fred no, not again, you can't do this to me again.” Wes begged as he held her limp form in his arms “Please Fred, fight it.” It was no use she was gone, and once again he had to watch Illyria take form in his wife’s body.

**********

“I don't want them to be sad Angel.” Buffy whispered.

“Shhhh, don't think about it.” he said tears falling freely from his eyes.

“Angel?”

“Yeah” He said pulling away slightly to face her.

“Was there ever a time you didn’t love me?” She asked looking up at him.

“What no............my whole life I loved you, somehow even before we met, I've never done anything else.”

“We would have had a family.” she sobbed

“I know Buffy.....I know.”

“I don't blame you Angel.” she whispered facing him “I just love you.” she said pressing her lips to his.

“I love you too Buffy.”

“Then why can't I stay?” she pleaded, scrunching her brow as her tears fell free.

“Buffy..........” He chocked, now unable to stop his tears.

“Why, why..........I just want to stay.........” She barely whispered, before her eyes froze and her body went limp in his arms.

Gripping her tighter and closer he began shaking his head and sobbing “No, no.............don't leave me Buffy.” He pulled her closer still, shaking her slightly as if it would help to bring her back. “Buffy please, don't leave me.” he whispered. “Please Buffy please.” He was now yelling as though he was trying to wake her. It was as though she was in a deep sleep and all he had to do was shake her and just ask her to wake up. But that wasn't the case, she was gone, and this time forever.

/ And please remember that I never lied
And please remember, how I felt inside now honey
You gotta make it your own way, but you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow, come the morning light now baby /

He sat there holding her tightly against him for what seemed like an eternity. He didn't want to let go because if he did then that was it, the past eight months of his life never happened. Everything would change, like Buffy said the spell was breaking and now he was starting to see how right she was. Looking down at her she was slowly fading away and everything was blurry. The room started spinning and Buffy disappearing “No, no don’t take her......please; I'll do anything, please.” He yelled as he screwed his eyes shut and a blinding pain shot through him, he yelled at the top of his lungs once more and this time it was her name “Buffy................” He couldn't make her out anymore, he couldn't make out anything, everything was a blinding white.

Suddenly he fell to his hands and knees and found himself staring at the wet pavement out the front of the Wolfram and Hart building. So that was it, the glimpse was over. The spell had been broken and now he had his old life back. He brought his hands up off the cement and looked around, it was pouring down rain and Buffy was no where in sight. He couldn't even feel her like he used to, she was really gone, he had really killed her. His tears overtook him once more as he looked up to the heavens her name a never ending chant from his lips.

/ And don't you cry tonight, and don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight, there's a heaven above you baby
Don't you cry tonight, baby maybe someday
Don't you cry, tonight /

Chapter 10

He felt like the whole world had caved in on him, and there was nothing left but the emptiness he felt deep inside, an emptiness he felt he could never fill without Buffy.

‘Buffy’ it hurt just to think of her name, let alone all that he had done, he loved her so much and he had to watch her die, because he couldn't follow the rules. The Powers, they did this, they were the reason that he had lost his soul mate. But he was the fool; he thought that when he ran from Willow last night, that he had beaten them. But no, he had just angered them and had to face the consequences. But why did the price have to be her life? Why couldn't they take him instead?

“Angel.” He heard someone calling his name and he took his eyes of the skies for a second hoping that it was his love.

“Angel, you need to get inside.” said the Wicca, “It's too dangerous out here.” She was soaking wet, the ferocious wind that was howling almost knocking her to the ground, there were magic’s in the air and she could feel them at work. It seemed that the powers were angry that he hadn't gone to the Wicca, but instead stayed by his loves side as she took her last breath. They weren’t happy that they had to break the spell without his cooperation. But even Willow could tell the difference, this wasn’t them at work here, no this was something else.

When he realised it was Willow that had called his name, he returned his gaze to the skies “I don't care.”

“Angel, now……we don’t have much time.” She begged, she could feel the power surrounding them, and this time it was stronger then when she had summoned the dark side after Tara’s murder.

“I don't care Willow, I want to die..........just let me die.” he sobbed

She ran to him, barely managing to pick him up off the ground. “Get away from me.” he spat, backing away from her as he stood on shaky legs. He wasn't going anywhere; he wasn't going anywhere until they gave him his Buffy back.

She tried again stepping closer and grabbing his hands, but he flinched and stepped back again. “Go away.” he yelled.

“No Angel, I won't let you die too, you need to get inside, before it gets worse……before it gets you” she kept on begging, looking at the tornado getting closer. It was a deep red in colour and the howling coming from it was a painful high pitched scream, and each time she heard it, it sent shivers down her spine, just like fingernails scraping down a chalkboard.

“I don't care, I need her..........just let me be with her.” He said pleading to Willow and the skies at the same time.

“Angel, she's gone.........I know it's hard to accept, but you have to go on, you have to.......for Buffy.” she whispered and Angel looked at her the second her heard her name.

“How would you know what she wants?”

“Because I know Buffy, and she wouldn't want any harm to come to you.....she'd want you to live Angel.” Willow said tears welling in her eyes. She looked back over at the Tornado it was getting closer, she knew that all she had to do was get him back inside the building and it would stop, she had to get him to stop, he didn't even know what his grief was doing. He was summoning all this power into himself and his body wasn't strong enough, it would kill him, it would kill them all.

“But I can't live without her.....” he yelled so she could hear him over the howling wind.

“Angel, I know its har-”

“How would you know?” he spat

“Because I lost Tara, and then I let that evil consume me.” She said pointing in the direction of the tornado. “And I can’t let that happen to you, Buffy wouldn't want it that way.” she yelled slowly walking closer and hoping she was getting through to him.

“Buffy……Oh God Willow what have I done?” he asked, his loves dieing image haunting his thoughts.

She walked a little closer “Angel you've done nothing wrong, you just followed your heart.” she said, she was now standing right in front of him and holding her hands out, hoping he would take them.

“Sometimes that's wrong.” he said looking at her, pain and sorrow in his eyes.

“Not to Buffy.” she smiled, as she brushed the wet strands of hair out of her face, before reaching out for his hands once again. What she had said seemed to be working; slowly Angel reached out taking her hands in his.

In a flash Angel found himself standing in the middle of his wolfram and Hart office still holding the Wicca’s hands, both were dripping wet.

“So I guess this means you want ya job back.” Spike slurred looking up at Angel from his position on the lounge, a glass of whisky in his hand. The blonde vampire had been in his apartment, which was probably now Angel’s again, drinking the stuff since they brought Buffy in. He'd only just ventured down to his office when he had Wesley calling him and asking him to come and help find Fred as her body had disappeared.

When Wesley saw the vampire in his drunken state stumbling out of the elevator, he decided to go off in search of her on his own, until Gunn offered his help. As much as Wesley still resented Gunn for allowing that tomb in, in the first place, he accepted his help and the pair were off searching for her.

“Angel.” Willow whispered stepping in a little closer to him, she wanted to ask him if he was all right, but she knew his answer; he was anything but all right. Angel lifted his head to look at the Wicca, unshed tears shining in his eyes.

“Buffy.” he whispered, her face burnt into his mind, she was gone, gone for good. “I.....I....killed her.” he stuttered, as his tears fell past his lashes.

“No Angel, it's not your fault, you can’t think that.” she said throwing her arms around him. Angel didn't move he just stood there completely numb.

“Is she?” he needed to know, did this mean that Illyria had set up shop in the shell of his love.

The Wicca knew immediately what he was asking “No, she's just gone.” Willow said wiping at her tears.

Would it hurt every time someone said something like that to him? Yes it would, it would hurt more than anything ever hurt him in his life.

“And I'm still human.” he said sadly.

“What?” Spike exclaimed, almost spilling his drink when he tried to get up.

“I know.” Willow whispered.

Angel was stunned he thought no one else had any idea “How did you know?” he asked

“Well what would hurt you more than everything that's happened, more than just getting your old life back?” she asked

“Getting my redemption……..without Buffy here.” he realised, okay The Powers really did know how to keep their word when it came to wanting a champion to suffer, because this, this was hell and just too much for him. He couldn't stick around, he needed to go “I can't stay here” he said walking out of the office.

Even if she wanted to Willow couldn't stop him, he had to leave, she knew he had to grieve in his own way. He had to suffer and Angel wouldn't do it with an audience.

When he walked towards the elevator in the lobby he ran into Wes and Gunn, he paused looking at the once watcher only just realising that he was also responsible for the death of his friend. Fred........this whole ordeal had been about saving her, and now.........there was nothing left, not even a shell.

“Angel.”

“Wes, I uh.” He didn't know what to say, what do you say to someone when you’re responsible for their wife’s death? He knew he had to come up with something, and it was what anyone in his position would say “I'm sorry.”

“It's not your fault Angel.”

“Yes it is, their dead because of me.” he hated that word, dead, Buffy was dead, dead dead dead, words like that shouldn't exist, they were just too painful to deal with. “I didn't make a choice.” he said feeling like a coward.

“I would have done the same thing.” Wes replied as Gunn walked off leaving the pair alone. But not too far just in case Wes pulled out a scalpel to stab Angel with like he had once on Gunn. No that there really were any just lying around in the lobby, but he had to make sure. Wesley really was unpredictable.

“Wes if I would have made one……..I would have chosen Buffy.” he whispered never having felt so selfish in his life.

“I know....and I wouldn't have blamed you. I would have chosen the woman I loved too.”

Angel looked up at the once watcher, no one else could possibly even come close to understanding what he was going through, but Wesley.

Just then without Warning Wesley's fist collided with Angel's jaw, the once vampire looked on shocked, he thought that Wesley wasn't mad at him.

“Sorry.” Wes whispered “I don't blame you, but a part of me just had to get that out.” he said, half heartedly smiling at his friend before heading for his office and locking himself in there with whatever bottle of whiskey Spike hadn't gotten too. Gunn looked on a little surprised, Angel had gotten off lightly.

**********

He found himself doing exactly what he had been doing when this whole glimpse thing had started, wondering the streets of L.A. But this time instead of looking forward to a new life, he was mourning the one that had been lost, the one that was entirely his fault. He knew he had to go back to their ‘Buffy’s’ apartment and do as Buffy wished, and take care of her sister. But he couldn't go there like this. He knew he needed to be strong for Dawn and help her through this. He was just glad that Willow was thinking the exact same thing; he knew that the Wicca was with her now.

He didn't know where to go, he just couldn't face anyplace that reminded him of Buffy, yet strangely he found himself at that one and same diner where they had ran into each other eight months ago. Eight whole months had past since the night his life had changed dramatically, and now he had nothing left.

When he walked inside he even took the exact same stool he had sat at that last time, right up the other end. He sat there and waited as though he thought she was going to stroll in and tell him she was back and they could get back to having their happy life. But with each passing minute he knew that would never happen.

His body was shaking from the drenched clothes he still wore, but he didn't seem to notice, instead he just focused on his third coffee. Another ten minutes passed and he knew that this wasn’t the answer; he couldn't exactly go through the rest of his life reliving each moment they had shared, and this time without her. He had to get out of there, what was he thinking going to a place that brought up memories of her, and now how was he going to go home to Dawn, and live in a place that carried his loves scent in its every little crevice.

He knew he just had to start walking, and as the storm was getting worse he knew he would have to leave soon. He was grateful though, that that tornado had disappeared, he couldn't believe what he was close to doing, he nearly gave himself up to harmful magic’s, what would Buffy have thought of him if he did?

Reaching into his coat to pay the waitress who was now standing right in front of him, he was startled to once again find his wallet gone. This was just too weird, now all he needed was Buffy reaching over and putting the money down on the counter for him, that would just tip things right off.

Although he wished it, he still couldn't believe it when he seen the small hand come from behind him and lay flat against the counter, placing the money there for the waitress to pick up. He froze wanting to spin around on the stool and see where it had come from, yet he didn't want to get his hopes up, this had to be an illusion, this couldn't be real; there was no way Buffy could be back. Or could she?

Slowly looking up as he turned on the stool he froze. How could this be, how could she be back, was she real, or was this just his fragile mind playing tricks on him.

Chapter 11

Angel couldn't make sense of it; it was all just too unreal, was he staring up at a ghost? Rising to his feet he reached out and curiously placed his hand on her shoulder. When he actually made contact he couldn't believe it, she was there, really there. Withdrawing his hand he tried to speak and after a few attempts he got her name out.

“Cordy?” he whispered.

She smiled back “Hey Angel.” she sat her self down on the stool next to him, and watched her friend as he sat back down. “You really need to stop forgetting your wallet; people will think you just don’t like to pay for yourself.”

That reminded him once again of Buffy and how much it hurt that she was gone. “Got to hell.” He spat standing back up again and picking up his jacket, throwing it on as he walked towards the door.

He had no time for this, sure he wasn't angry at Cordelia but he knew instantly what was going on, she was a higher being again. Which meant that she let them kill Buffy, he couldn't look at her knowing what she didn’t stop from happening. It made him want to tear her head off. And then of all things to do she had to place the money on the counter and get his hopes up, making him believe for one split second that this past day was all a nightmare and he was finally waking up.

Cordelia was shocked, but she was well prepared, she had a feeling that Angel would react this way “If I were you I'd stay.” she said before asking the waitress for a coffee.

He paused meters from the door and turned to face her. “I don't care what you'd do.............how could you Cordy? You were my closest friend and now you're responsible for the worst thing anyone could ever have done to me.” He said walking a little closer to her, but he refused to sit back down, he wasn’t about to say how high each time the powers asked him to jump.

“Angel look I'm sorry about Buffy, but that's no reas-” she didn’t get to finish.

“Are you, really?” He asked getting a little agitated.

“Why would you think I wasn't?” She bit back, just because Angel was in a lot of pain she wasn't about to take his attitude.

“Why would you be, you never liked her, you probably wanted her dead......well you got your wish, thanks to you she is.” He spat merely inches for her face, how could this all be happening, he would have thought that if he ever had a chance to see Cordy again, he would just be grateful having missed his friend. But that wasn't the situation here; he couldn't stand being around anyone that was connected to the powers.

“Now hang on a second Angel, you’re the one that agreed to this glimpse, you could have let Spike do it but no you wanted to be the hero.” She snapped getting up off the stool, not liking the fact that he was towering over her, trying to intimidate her.

“Spike?” he questioned backing off a little.

“What?” Cordelia realised what she had just blurted out.

“Spike……......you just said that I could have let Spike do it.” He knew there was more to this spell now, things that Willow never told him, and he needed an answer.

“Well yeah but you already knew that.” She was trying to dismiss the subject the less the once vampire knew the less confused he would be. But after all she was sent to him to explain things.

“Yeah I did, but you seem to know more, what's the deal Cordy?” He stepped in a little closer.

Cordelia sighed, she was sent here to tell Angel everything but she knew it was just going to raise too many questions “Spike could have been the one to go through the whole glimpse, but you made the choice to in the end.” She finally admitted.

“I don’t understand.”

“Well he's a champion, that's why the memory spell didn't last to long on him, because it could have been him in your place.”

“But he wasn't made human, I was.”

“That had nothing to do with the glimpse; it was just your reward for going through with it.”

“Spike was willing to, why wasn’t he made human too?”

“Because he wasn’t really fighting for the chance to when Willow explained all the consequences, no one was….but you.” She had a look in her eyes that told him just how much she admired his strength and Angel couldn’t help but look away.

“I was stupid.” he muttered.

She wanted to tell him he wasn’t and that what he did was heroic, but she didn’t have the time and she had more important things to say. “Anyway Spike got his memory back not long after you left that first night, and then when you returned to the office a few days later to collect your things, Wesley explained to you in detail how you destroyed Illyria. Spike knew it was all a lie.”

“Why didn't he say anything?”

“He wasn't allowed, remember what Willow told you, no one else could know. Well he thought the same rules applied for him. That and the fact that he knew you had started a life with Buffy; he was worried it would affect her.”

Angel suddenly realised something else “So if it had of been Spike, would he have lived everything I had, would he have been with Buffy?” he didn't want to know but he just had to ask.

“If that was Buffy's will………Angel we didn't make Buffy be with you, you did that, she was with you because she loved you, she died loving you.”

Suddenly Angel snapped grabbing Cordelia by the throat “Don't you tell me how she died, don’t you think I know? I held her in my arms while you took her away. So don't you ever tell me anything about her again.” He growled gripping her throat as tightly as he could.

His action caught her off guard, but she managed to peel his hand free, he really wasn’t as strong as he used to be, and she was a higher being after all. “Angel, I know it hurts but its over…..deal with it.” she spat.

“Deal with it, my whole world has gone and you want me to deal with it. I don't even think I can go on like this, I'm nothing without her.” He mumbled before turning his back to her and heading for the door again.

“Angel if you want to leave fine............but before you go, maybe you should check your watch.” She knew he wasn't really willing to stick around, so she had to get it over with and tell him what she was sent here to.

He really wasn't in the mood for playing games, but he did anyway, if only to shut her up so he could be on his way. He didn't hate Cordy, but right now he couldn't help but not want to be near her. It just hurt too much knowing that she let them take his love away from him.

When he pulled his sleeve back another reminder hit him, he was still wearing the watch that Buffy gave him on their three month anniversary. “Yeah so it's eight o'clock.” He muttered fighting the tears that were slowly welling in his eyes as he stared at the watch. He thought of the inscription on the other side and he could hear Buffy’s voice in his mind as she read it to him the day she gave him the watch. ‘We have all the time in the world’ How far from the truth that had turned out to be.

“And what's the date?” she asked, disturbing him from his musings.

“The twentieth.” suddenly it hit him. “B......but yesterday was the twentieth, how I don’t understand.”

“Well if you start being nice to me I might explain it to you.”

He gave her a look that she knew well, meaning that he just wanted answers and had no time to play Mr nice guy.

She sighed and started to explain it to him “The actual glimpse started when Willow came to you. Everything before that had nothing to do with it. The spell Willow cast wasn’t a part of the glimpse, she was just told to make you human and not let the others remember the spell, if you accepted the challenge.”

“So what does this mean?” He asked finally tearing his eyes away from the wrist watch and looking back up at his friend.

“It means that your suffering was watching Buffy die, and thinking it was your fault.”

“And Willow, she knew this would happen.”

“Not really, she knew a few things, but they didn’t trust her with everything.”

It still didn’t make any sense to him, things just weren’t adding up. “But then if it’s the previous day, why does Wesley remember Fred dying?”

“Because everyone that was there when the spell took place does.”

“And Gunn, he knew, he was with Wesley before, but he wasn't there when the spell took place.”

“Wesley told him.” She said and even though pieces were starting to fit together, Angel was a little annoyed that she seemed to have an answer for everything, when all these months he had been kept in the dark. This was his fight, yet to him it seemed as though he wasn’t the one fighting it.

“And what he just remembers?”

“Yeah, once someone is told everything that went down through the duration of the spell, they remember.”

“Why didn't Willow tell me?”

”She wasn't allowed, because if you broke the rules then that was it.”

“But I did break them; I wouldn't let her bring me back.” He remembered when the Wicca had tried to pry him from his dying love and he had refused to leave. Maybe that was wrong but he wouldn’t change it even if he could.

“The powers anticipated that, they also knew that you were going to run from her in the store. But Willow didn't, they only told Willow what they wanted her to know. Which was more than you knew, but not everything.”

“Why?”

“Well they needed her to tell you a few lies to keep you in line, but like I said they didn’t trust her with everything.”

“Lies?” There was just so much more to this than Angel thought, he couldn’t get his head around it all. It was all just too much information in the one hit.

“Yeah like not being able to turn back the hands of time, and I'm sure you remember the rest.” She couldn’t just tell him, she knew he had to figure it out for himself.

“What do you mean?”

“You figure it out, I have to go.” She didn’t want to leave; she wanted to make sure he understood everything, but it was time she could feel the pull of the higher realm, so she gave in.

“Wait Cordy please, tell me.”

“So what was Angel doing on the twentieth at around this time?” she said a wide grin one her face as she disappeared out of sight.

“Cordy, please wait.” he begged, before finally her words sunk in. For the first time since his love died he smiled “Buffy.” Opening the glass door he ran out into the rain, hoping that what he was thinking was in fact true.

Chapter 12

He had his mind set on one thing, and one thing only. He had to see if what he was thinking was real, if what he understood of Cordelia's words were in fact the truth. Running as fast as he could in the freezing cold rain, the wind pushing him in the other direction as though the powers were trying to stop him, he headed for the first place that came to mind. If it was in fact the truth Cordelia spoke then Buffy was still alive, and this last day had been erased.

Eight O'clock on the twentieth what was he doing? He seemed to recall a stop by the convenient store to buy some much needed chocolate for his love. He just wasn’t sure if that was in fact at that exact time. Dripping wet he ran into the store and ran straight for the sweets isle, he scanned all the other isles on his way, before finally coming to a stop at the one he desired. He looked down and saw a blonde picking some chocolates up off the shelve and placing them in her carry basket.

“Buffy.” He smiled and ran towards her, grabbing her by the elbow and spinning her around to face him. But it wasn't her, and the smile from his face faded.

“Can I help you?” The blonde asked.

Angel said nothing, he just took off in the other direction determined to keep on searching until he found her, he ran backwards and forwards searching through every single isle before finally giving up, his Buffy wasn't there. He walked back outside into the cold rain, wrapping his soaked jacket around him as he continued his search, he couldn't give up hope, she had to be alive, she just had to be.

When he finally made it back to their apartment he found he still had the keys in his pocket, that forced a smile on his face and he realised that everything was in fact true, all he had with Buffy had happened, it wasn’t the dream he was starting to believe it was. That horrid glimpse was over, unless it was starting all over again and Willow would appear asking him to choose. No he couldn't think like that, Cordy said it was over, so that’s what he was going to believe.

Unlocking the door, he slowly pushed it open, afraid of what he would find upon doing so, or at least afraid of what he wouldn't. His fears were soon realised as there was no one in sight, he quickly crossed the threshold and walked inside, scanning the room with his eyes before moving onto the next. The place was completely empty, not a soul in sight. This couldn't be right, at eight o'clock on the twentieth they were at the store buying chocolates or so he thought, and they rushed straight home, he remembered it clearly as he had ran from Willow. It had only been last night after all so it wasn’t something he was about to forget.

He scanned the living room once more and found a carry bag full of sweets sitting on the lounge, which also held his wallet; he remembered throwing it in there at the store as he was in such a hurry to get away from Willow. He double checked their room just to make sure, but there was no one there.

Without even changing into dry clothes he ran back outside and onto the dark streets, desperately searching for his love. But she was nowhere to be found. He doubled back to the diner, the store, wolfram and Hart, but nothing, not even any sign of Fred, which only meant one thing. Cordelia had lied.

He didn't know what else to do, where else to go. He had to find Dawn, and he tried to remember where she was last night, technically tonight. He thought she was staying at her friends, but he wasn't sure, so he decided to return to the apartment one more time to see is she had returned. The funny thing was that the powers seemed to want to make it hard for Angel to do anything, as the weather only seemed to be getting worse; he slowed down as though he was giving up. If they wanted to make it harder, let them just take him all together, all though the worse thing that could happen was he would get a cold or something along those lines.

He came to a stop completely when he found himself standing out the front of that same church they were supposed to be getting married in, in two days time. But now everything seemed hopeless, he had held hope for a second, but now it was gone, Buffy was no where in sight. And just like earlier when he found himself out the front of Wolfram and hart cursing the heavens for taking her away from him, he gave up any belief that she was still alive. Buffy was truly gone. One thing that Angel didn’t realise was that each time he gave up like that, it broke their connection.

“Angel” She whispered, startling him and causing him to turn his head slightly. He couldn't believe his eyes, she was real, she was there right in front of him, as beautiful as ever even though she was soaking wet from the rain.

“B........Buffy.” he stammered curiously walking towards her, afraid that if he ran she'd disappear, he dropped to his knees and brought his arms up and around her waist, pulling her to him. “Oh Buffy, your here.......your alive.” he sobbed against her.

**********

Stumbling into their home, with his almost empty bottle of whisky gripped tightly in his hand afraid that someone would take it away, Wesley laughed hysterically as his eyes scanned the room. Everything reeked of Fred, and now he was Fredless, how on earth was he supposed to carry on without the one woman that made him whole. How was he supposed to live without her? Stumbling up the stairs he headed for the bedroom, he needed to sleep and forever would suit him just fine.

Walking into his room he noticed the curtain that covered the window which led to the balcony blowing and he barely made out a figure standing on that balcony. Taking another gulp from the bottle he then screwed the cap back on and slowly raised it up over his head as he walked towards the balcony.

Pulling the curtains back he brought the bottle down, but his aim was a little off target as he was quite drunk. The figure spun around and smiled at him, as the bottle smashed to the ground and the last of the liquid spilled out.

“I'm not cleaning that.” Fred chuckled.

“Fred.” He whispered, cupping her face between his hands as he stepped closer the glass from the broken bottle crunching under his shoes. He looked into her eyes for a brief moment, a smile crossing his face as tears welled in his own. He pressed his lips to hers.

“It’s really you.” he whispered pulling away

“Who else would it be?” she asked smiling at her husband.

“You don't remember?”

“No.........Wesley are you okay?” She asked worrying about her husband’s strange behaviour.

“I am now........I think I just have some explaining to do, but it can wait.” He whispered before kissing her again.

**********

“I’m sorry……I’m so sorry Buffy.” He sobbed as he pulled her closer, gripping her tightly afraid that if he didn’t she’d disappear.

“You died it was all my fault, I didn’t mean to…….I’m sorry.” Buffy stood completely still as Angel poured all his guilt out. She couldn’t stand seeing him in so much pain; she dropped to her knees cupping his face between her small hands.

“It’s okay Angel………everything is okay now.” She whispered brushing her brow against his as her hands found their way around his neck.

A small half smile crept across his face when he heard her voice, this time there were no more doubts, no more turning to see Willow or Cordelia, this time it was really Buffy, she had come back to him.

He brought his hand up to brush her cheek “Never leave me again, okay.” He sobbed.

“I won’t Angel, I swear.”

He leant forward gently kissing her lips; unable to believe that he was kissing her again, when not so long ago he thought she was dead. But like many other times before she had come back to him, he reluctantly pulled away from her kiss; he needed to know how, how she knew what was going on.

“You remember everything?” he asked

“Yeah Willow told me, then took Dawn so I could find you.”

“I….I did it to save Fred, but I didn’t know Buffy, I didn’t know I would lose you.” He said running his thumb backwards and forwards across her cheek.

“It’s okay we’re here now and we’re not going anywhere.” She said tears welling in her eyes; she had never seen Angel so helpless before.

“We’re?” He wondered what she meant.

“Hello pregnant lady standing right in front of you, or kneeling actually.” The thought suddenly hit her that Angel didn’t realise she was still pregnant. “Angel the baby, she’s fine.”

Another tear escaped falling down his cheek “My girls, their okay.” He said as his fingers tenderly stroked her tummy and a smile crept across his face.

“Angel.” She whispered looking into his teary brown orbs. “Do you still want to get married?” She was referring to the wedding that would be taking place in less than two days time.

“More than anything…….I love you so much Buffy” He said kissing her lips gently. “We need to get you inside, you might get sick.” He whispered, rubbing her arms as she shivered from the cold.

“Okay.” She smiled as they both stood and he took her hand in his, leading her home.

**********

“Mmmmm, I don’t ever want to leave.” She said as they stood under the hot water and held on to one another for dear life.

“Your not aloud to, from now on you don’t get to leave my sight, I cant stand the thought of being away from you for even a second.” He said pushing back her wet blonde locks. He still couldn’t believe he had her back, that she was alive again.

“I think I could get used to that.”

“Well you better, because from now on, everywhere you go, I’ll follow.” He said kissing her brow.

“Really?” she asked tracing the outline of his chest with her fingertips.

“Really.”

“So anywhere I want to go right now, you’ll follow.” She said quirking an eyebrow as she looked up at him.

He knew instantly what she wanted, at least he thought he did “You want chocolate don’t you?” he smiled.

“Well actually I was thinking we get out of this shower and get into bed, but now that you mention it, chocolate sounds great.” She giggled

Reaching behind he quickly shut off the water and grabbed at the hanging towels. “Bed now, chocolate later.” He muttered seizing her lips as he wrapped the towel around her and made a poor attempt at drying her, and then he carried her back to their room.

That night Angel found himself not getting much sleep at all, it wasn’t so much the numerous hours they spent making love, but also the fact that he couldn’t take his eyes of her as he watched the rise and fall of her chest as she took in each breath. She was alive, and they were together, after all the suffering he’d gone through in the past day, this was what made up for it. Holding his love in his arms as his hand lovingly caressed her tummy, he knew that if he had to he would go through it all again, just to see her like this for the rest of his life.

END

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