Shattered Fairytale

Prologue
**

She watched the young woman on the screen, envying how happy she looked; wishing for just an ounce of that joy. The girl lying in an opulent king sized bed, swimming in a pool of sheets and pillows, wearing nothing but her smile as she whispered sweet nothings to the camera.

Buffy took another sip of her wine before placing it back on the end table. She never had an affinity to the drink, but it was the only thing in the house that had alcohol in it, providing her comfort she’d soon feel.

Covering herself again with the throw taking her eyes off the girl on screen to close them needing to take a few deep breaths before she could opened them again.

The girl on screen began laughing, drawing Buffy’s attention to the screen once again- her favorite part was coming up, it was when he came on. Sure enough a dark haired man came on the screen, his eyes shining, as he apologized to the camera for his presence. It didn’t last long though, for the blonde girl snatched him up onto bed with her. They kissed passionately, almost as if forgetting the camera was still on and rolling. It seemed as if when the two were together the rest of the world disappeared. Breaking off the kiss the man moved down to the girl’s stomach, resting his head on the swell of her stomach, a grin plastered on his face as he talked about his unborn son.

The camera cut off before he could finish his speech, leaving Buffy with snow, but Buffy still remembered what he said- all his loving declarations.

The grandfather clock ticked echoing loudly in the empty room. She didn’t want to check the time, already knowing it was very late, she just didn’t want to know how late- how many hours ago he should have returned home.

She used to wonder what she did that caused this. What she could have done to make sure all his needs were fulfilled. But she’d come to the conclusion there was nothing she could have done; not after she’d tried everything.

She was in denial at first, not wanting to notice how his office hours started to extend till early in the morning, the messages from various girls at first later settling to just one, a secretary who obviously needed a lot of help at her job. She tried to ignore the smell of perfume and sex, to ignore the occasional lipstick marks he’d have on his neck, face, or clothes.

That phase didn’t last long after that she’d just try to make sure he was satisfied, being extra loving and caring. But it was of no use, his mind just wasn’t on her.

They’d started to fight a lot over small and petty things. She’s started to cry a lot as well, not in front of him of course, she wouldn’t allow him that pleasure, but in the late hours of the night, like tonight, when she was alone, she’d brood, wishing they could be the couple on the screen again, so young and in love. Buffy still remembered the feeling of complete happiness, still remembered being so naïve as to think what they had was so special, a one of a kind love so strong that they’d never fall out of love. She’d sadly been mistaken.

If only she’d come home later- if she would have stopped at the gas station before returning home. She lost her innocence, her illusions, and her love.

One minute. One minute was all it took for her life to crash and burn before her eyes.

Buffy watched in mixed emotions- anger, grief, horror, confusion, loss- as her husband had sex on their bed, in their house; a house that had been built on the sacred fundamentals of marriage; in their bed as well.

Buffy remembered everything crystal clear, for all purposes she could have been watching the scene unfold on the television screen before her right now. Everything played out both agonizingly slow and in fast forward.

She remembered the shock and denial at what she was witnessing, and the confusion as to how to proceed. She remembered having come to the decision to leave, but had stumbled on her way out the door interrupting the lovers. She had wanted to kill him, kill her for doing this. She wanted to scream and cry and hit and slap till her hands were bruised and her knuckles were bloody, but hadn’t been able to let herself do it.

She watched as sheets twisted between bodies before falling to the floor, leaving the adulterers exposed in every sense of meaning.

That wasn’t what got to her. It was his eyes. She couldn’t even begin to imagine and explain what she saw in them. The raw unfocused emotion shook Buffy to the core.

He had gotten out of bed stumbling with a pair of boxers that had been discarded on their nightstand, dangling precariously from a Tiffany style lamp. Angel ran to his wife, guilt and shame on his face.

Buffy remembered her fists hitting his balmy skin, a sheen layer of sweat coating his body from his earlier activities. She hit him over and over and over again, pounding away at his chest till all her strength had left her body where she fell to an ungraceful lump on the floor.

It took everything Buffy had in her not to die, everything hurt. Her body racked with sobs, Buffy cursed every fate that brought Angel into her life, what a cruel world she lived in to have the object she loved dangled in front of her only to be ripped away.

Even now, Buffy could still feel the gentle weight of his arms encircling her, which only caused Buffy’s pain to heighten. The same arms that once provided her the safety and comfort she’d craved now brought about her demise.

Everything felt surreal, this could not be happening to her. Buffy waited for her nightmare to end, prayed that she’d wake up and everything would just go away.

By the end of the week Buffy would be moving out. This house was nothing but an empty shell of an unforgiving past and an endless torment. She had washed the sheets at least a dozen times before realizing they’d never be clean. She hadn’t even been able to sleep in that bedroom. For the past two nights she’d slept on the couch.

She couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, the wine finally getting to her. Her body wracked with the sobs she’d been holding in for so long, too long. She couldn’t breathe, feeling as if she were fighting for her life. Everything was crashing down on her.

She missed him. She missed him and she loathed herself for that, for needing him so much. He’d been her world for as long as she could remember.

“Mommy?”

The young scared voice of her son shook Buffy from her self pity. Wiping her tears quickly, she put on her best brave face, knowing he needed it. “What champ?”

“Why are you crying?” Jacob asked, climbing up on the couch situating himself on his mother’s lap.

“I’m just sad.” Buffy explained, staring at the concern in her six-year old eyes; he looked so much like his father, the two having the same exact eyes, which had the power to cause her to melt to a puddle of nothing.

“Because Daddy’s not here?” He questioned, looking so innocent and small as he placed a hand on his mother’s cheek.

Buffy just shook her head in agreement, wiping at her stray tears taking a breath out, “You should be sleeping champ.”

“I can’t.” Looking straight up at his mother Jake continued, “How come Daddy doesn’t love us anymore?”

Jake was on the verge of tears, Buffy could feel his fear. Hugging him to her chest as tightly as she could, “Of course he loves you. Jacob Wyatt look at me,” Pulling him away from her just so he could look her in the eyes, “No matter what happens with me and your Dad, nothing, nothing will change how he feels about you and your brother and sister. Champ, your father loves you more than he loves himself.”

“But what if he can’t find us?” Jake wondered.

“Daddy will always be able to find you; we’ll make sure of it.” Buffy assured her son. “We’ll make sure he has our address, and our telephone number.”

“Will he still come to my soccer games?”

Buffy nodded, not being able to stop the feelings of failure. She’d failed at being a wife and mother. She couldn’t figure out why she had not been able to keep her family together. “He’ll go to every soccer game he can.”

Satisfied with this answer, “Can we watch me again,” Jake questioned hopefully, loving the movie of his first day home, always saying how his Daddy was so silly panicking over every whine, cry, or gurgle that sounded distressed; checking on both Buffy and him every second.

Normally Buffy would have said no, it being a school night and very late, but she didn’t have the heart not tonight. “I’ll go put it in.”

Chapter One

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