Holly Prom King

Yeah, right. Prom king. Can you imagine me, your hero, crowned prom king of Summerbreeze high? Yeah..., smoother skin in seven days. I tell Taylor to go fuck his pathetic self, hang up the phone and drop some ephedrine. Taylor is a Summerbreeze quarterback with a sitcomish face and a body to match, a pleasant personality and a strong Midwest drawl. I often feel like calling him Chad or Brendan. Taylor and I have your typical functional relationship, my street cred for his popularity. I turn the water on in the master bathroom and walk to my mother's bedroom. She's away at Green Hills so I rampage through her drawers for some bath salts. I'm a sucker for bath salts. Instead I find a photograph of the Dalaļ Lama and a bottle of valium. I save the latter for later and shed my casual interior designerwear before slipping inside the square-shaped jacuzzi. I am the architect of the arena.

I'm feeling slightly euphoric as I thrash in the hot bubbly water pretending I'm a shark in a municipal pool. But then I'm bored so I just float on my back. The phone rings and the ansaphone picks up ("Convince me to pick up..." and the beep). It's Beverly, who, it suddenly dawns on me, is my current girlfriend. You listen very carefully now Jimmy, Prom night is tonight and fuck if I'm not gonna be queen. You get your bubblebutt down to Darlene's right now. The limo'll be here at 8. I'll personally castrate you if you're late. Love'ya sweety.

Bev is an ambitious blonde cheerleader with an IQ of about 800. She picked me up at a favourite-dead-celebrity party some weeks back. We both came as Sharon Tate, there was no way we weren't going home together. According to Taylor we're double-dating with his new girl Darlene. Darlene, I hear, is a middle-class octolingual non-practising bimbo. She's not in it for the crown, she's in it for the limo ride. I haven't met Darlene yet but I'm thinking of the girls who are attracted to Taylor and I can picture him on the futon, head thrown back and this girl Darlene moving in over him, eyes shut tight. It's probably the ephedrine but I decide right then and there I'm gonna go. Ritualised social gatherings and hormonal surges in angst-ridden teenage populations can be an exciting combination. I get out of the tub and walk to my room dripping soapy water all over the plush oyster-green carpeting.

Outside, summer is going out of its mind. I close my eyes and walk briskly to the curve where a cab is waiting. In the 30 seconds it takes to reach its open door I repeat out loud, the sun is not my enemy, the sun is not my enemy. The black leather interior is somewhat soothing. But the cab driver who's barely my age speeds down the hills recklessly, grining like a serial rapist on a mission, Offspring playing at full volume on the car stereo and I get a cheap rush which sorta wakes me up.

Bev opens the door in jeans and turtleneck, kisses me on my dry lips and motions for me to go upstairs as she disappears down the hall to Darlene's room. Upstairs I find Taylor fastening the bow tie on his tuxedo. James, glad you could make it. Whatever happened to Lauren? I learn that Taylor's usual girlfriend is having her stomach pumped after swallowing a bottle of Xanax. Harsh, I go. Taylor shrugs and points to a rented tux on the bed. I strip to my boxers and try on first the pants then a pastel A/X shirt.

He motions for me to get up close and as he fastens my cuff-links I let my gaze float upwards along Taylor's toned body, muscles rippling beneath the tight fabric of his white shirt. He opens his mouth and on the tip of his tongue is half a disco biscuit. I move in on him with a mischievous grin and plant a long wet kiss on his luscious mouth pausing half a second to swallow the tab. Smiling to myself I close my eyes and bring him close. I press my chest against his, feeling the starched collar of his shirt and his unshaven face with my own. He pulls me back and slowly but hungrily devours my mouth. He tastes of hazelnut. I pull his shirt out of his pants and let my hand slide beneath it, letting it hover above the warm tanned skin of his stomach and chest. Then I'm pulled in by his strong muscular arms and I hear him gasp as I carefully grind my bulging crotch into his. Suddenly Taylor pushes me away and quickly turns to the mirror, readjusting himself. I spin around in time to find Darlene and Beverly at the door in perfect evening wear. Don't tell me you guys aren't ready they exclaim in a single voice. Wow, you look amazing we answer simultaneously.

In the limo the girls re-apply their make-up while speculating on the competition. Taylor pours me a glass of Cliquot. You know James, if you lived here, he whispers wetly in my ear, ...you'd be home right now.