After narrowly managing to get to the toilet without having an accident, he washed his hands and face before heading back into the bedroom. He noticed that his overnight bag was now resting on the seat of a chair and figured Adam must have brought it into the bedroom for him. Opening up the bag, he rifled through its contents in search of a pair of sweatpants.

He had just finished pulling on a pair and was tightening its drawstrings when Adam burst into the room carrying a breakfast tray laden with food. Spotting the empty bed, Adam looked around the room before seeing Matt standing near the chair by the bed dressed in a pair of sweats. His hair was mussed and it was obvious he had just gotten up. Adam moved further into the room and kicked the door shut with his foot.

"Why are you out of bed?" he asked Matt with a voice so full of disappointment it was comical. "I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed," Adam said motioning to the heavenly smelling tray with his head. He was dressed in a pair of black jockey shorts that hung low on his hips and fit snug over his crotch. The sight was very arousing. Suddenly all thoughts of food fled from Matt’s mind. He was still hungry, but it was Adam that looked good enough to eat.

Clearing his throat Matt said, "Wow, you didn’t have to do this."

"I know I didn’t, baby. I wanted to." Adam responded.

Looking down at the tray that held pancakes, omelets, sausage, bacon, syrup and butter, Matt said, "Thank you. It’s beautiful."

Adam beamed with pleasure at Matt’s praise and said, "Wait till you taste it. I’m not much of a cook, but breakfast is my specialty."

"Everything looks great, but I haven’t brushed my teeth. I think I forgot my toothbrush," Matt said.

"That’s no problem," Adam replied. "You can use mine if you want. It’s in the holder next to the sink."

"Thanks," Matt said as he turned and walked back into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He was done quickly and returned to the bedroom just in time to see Adam re-entering with two tall glasses of orange juice.

"Hurry up and dig in," Adam ordered after placing the glasses on the nightstand table. They both sat down on the bed facing one another with the tray between them. Matt reached over and took hold of a fork. After adding some syrup and butter, he cut a small piece of pancake and some sausage.

Following his first bite, Matt said, "Wow, this is delicious."

"I bet it doesn’t taste anywhere near as good as you," Adam winked before leaning in and placing a lingering kiss on Matt’s lips.

Temporarily forgetting the meal, Matt lifted his arms and encircled Adam’s strong neck, holding him in place while opening his lips to admit Adam’s tongue. Adam took his time, slowly pushing his tongue back and forth inside Matt’s mouth. Matt let out a soft, desperate whimper and strained his neck to get closer. Adam was soon sucking on Matt’s tongue and had one hand resting at the base of Matt’s neck where his pulse hammered.

Slowly, he began sliding his hand down Matt’s torso, edging towards the bulge that tented the front of Matt’s sweat pants. When his hand connected with Matt’s erection, he broke the kiss and leaned into Matt’s neck to nibble the delicate skin between his neck and shoulder. He knew Matt was very sensitive there.

"Oh, God. I wanted to do this all of last night," Adam said. "Having your sweet little ass pressed up against me all night and not being able to do anything about it was torture."

"Don’t stop," Matt urged him on breathlessly. He pushed his pelvis up towards Adam’s hand in a silent instruction to continue. Releasing his hold on Matt’s cock, Adam reached up and slid his hand under the waistband of Matt’s pants. Catching a hold of his cock, Adam was delighted to feel the moisture leaking out of the tip. Adam let go of Matt’s cock and reached further down to grab a hold of his testicles. He gently rolled them between his fingers and when Matt let out a groan, he added pressure.

"Is this what you want, baby? Is it?" Adam asked, as he continued playing with Matt’s balls. Matt knew what he wanted, but he was afraid to ask for it. As if sensing the cause of Matt’s hesitance, Adam paused and looked into Matt’s eyes. Upon identifying the uncertainty in Matt’s gaze, Adam said, "I never want you to be ashamed to ask for what you want or what you need."

"I … I … the food’s getting cold," Matt stammered out.

Adam closed his eyes. Heaving out a sigh, he let go of Matt’s testicles and leaned back. They sat still together in silence for several moments. Matt thought that Adam would protest, but after taking in a few deep breaths Adam said, "Let’s eat then."

The rest of the meal was finished in silence. Once they were done, Adam gathered up the dishes on the tray and headed for the kitchen. After Adam left, Matt remained seated on the bed feeling like ten kinds of a fool. Why couldn’t he just tell Adam what he had wanted? He didn’t know why, but he just couldn’t.

He could still see the hurt and disappointment in Adam’s eyes when he had switched the topic to food. He had avoided the issue instead of saying what he really wanted. He had no idea what could be going through Adam’s mind. Just then Adam reemerged and said, "I have to head down to the office to do a few things. I should be gone for a while." The whole time he spoke in a very detached tone.

Matt could see that he was upset and trying hard not the show it. He watched as Adam made his way over to his closet and picked out a pair of faded, well-worn jeans and a gray t-shirt. After making his selections, he turned back to Matt and continued in the same tone, "I’m going to take a quick shower." With that, he went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

A few moments later, Matt heard the water turn on and knew that Adam was in the shower. Sighing with regret, he adjusted his semi-hard cock in his pants. If he hadn’t chickened out, he could have enjoyed a thoroughly satisfying orgasm by now. He didn’t want Adam to be mad at him, but he didn’t know what to say. He was still new to everything and wasn’t very good at a expressing his sexual needs yet. He felt bad; things were finally starting to go well in their relationship and he didn’t want to screw it up.

After a time, he heard the water stop and assumed that Adam was finishing up and getting dressed in the bathroom. Several minutes later, Adam reappeared at the door wearing the tight gray shirt and snug worn jeans. His hair was damp from his shower and his face was shaved clean. He looked stunning. And still upset.

Swallowing twice, Matt said, "What do you want to do today? You know, when you get back?" When Adam remained quiet, Matt continued, "I was thinking we could go down to the beach for a while." When Adam still refused to answer, Matt said, "Look, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to pull away earlier, I just … I got … I’ve never done this before. I’m still new at it, you know?" A silence ensued after his admission. When several moments passed without any response, Matt assumed that Adam wasn’t going to respond and decided to gather up his belongings and leave. Just as he was about to get out of bed, Adam turned around to face him, looking at him for the first time since coming into the bedroom.

"Listen, why don’t we go out tonight? On a date. We haven’t done that in a while. And since we’re starting all over and taking things slow, I think it’d be a good idea." Adam said.

"Okay," Matt replied a little nonplussed at the abrupt change of topic.

"Okay, great," Adam said. "I’ll be here to pick you up at nine." And with that, he finished getting ready and put on his shoes. Grabbing his tumbled nubuck leather messenger bag and cell phone, Adam came over to Matt and placed a restrained kiss on his cheek. When he was finished, he gathered his keys and exited the apartment.

After Adam’s departure, Matt stayed on the bed replaying their conversation in his head and analyzing the bizarre turn it had taken. He thought about the night ahead for a quite a while before getting up and going to take his own shower. He decided that he wasn’t going to sweat all the small stuff. Instead he would take things one step at a time and get his cues from Adam.

*****

The day proved to be very demanding for Matt and he worked steadily all afternoon until five-thirty in the evening. Matt ran his own online specialty furniture business that allowed him to work from home. This, however, did not mean that he got to slack off. In fact, it probably made him work harder because he was constantly reminded of what he needed the money for: to continue being able to live in his large, comfortable apartment.

Now that he was done with work, the butterflies that he had managed to keep at bay all day long by immersing himself in work returned. It was only a few hours until his date with Adam and he wanted everything to go just right. But first things first, he needed an outfit. And he didn’t want just any old thing, he wanted to wear something that would make Adam think of sex the moment he saw him and continue to think about sex for the rest of the night.

Matt set about the task of rummaging through his extensive wardrobe in search of the perfect outfit. It took him almost forty-five minutes of trying on this and that before he settled on something he thought would achieve the desired effect. He chose a crisp, wine-colored button down collar shirt and an amazing pair of trendy black slacks he’d gotten at Nordstrom. He picked out the clothes, sans underwear, and coupled them with an extremely nice and extremely over-priced pair of leather Italian loafers.

Looking at himself in the mirror while holding his selections up against his body, Matt felt satisfied with his choice. He didn’t dress up very often, mostly because he didn’t date very often, but tonight was special and he wanted to look extra nice for Adam. He was hoping that Adam would realize all the meticulous care with which he’d dressed for their date.

When he finished, he left the closet, and laid out his clothes on the bed. He then went to the bathroom to get ready for his shower. He turned on the water and let it run to heat up while he got undressed. After undressing he checked the water temperature to make sure it was just right before he hopped into the tub and pulled the shower curtain shut. Matt liked his showers hot - the hotter the better - and the feel of the stinging spray hitting his skin made all of his tense muscles relax almost immediately.

He grabbed the body soap resting on the shower rack and squirted a liberal amount on his sponge. He worked up a rich, aromatic lather and then began scrubbing his body, top to bottom. Bathing, for Matt, had always been a very soothing and symbolic experience. Growing up he had often wished that he had the ability to wash away all the unpleasantness of his life along with the dirt on his body.

When he had first met Adam, he had felt a poignantly painful longing to make love with him, but that feeling had been drowned out by his fear almost immediately. Physically, Adam was overwhelming, and after what had happened to Matt, he was very wary of men of Adam’s size. That didn’t stop him from being attracted though. In fact, the first time he had laid eyes on Adam, he had been hit with an attraction so hard it had stunned him, and made him afraid.

In the very beginning Matt had avoided Adam and turned him down at every turn, thinking that after a while he would get tired and look elsewhere. Adam, however, had been just as determined as Matt that the exact opposite would be the case. Luckily for them both, Matt had been unable to resist Adam’s charms.

As Matt stood under the hot spray to let the soap wash away, his mind was contemplating his behavior over the past year and a half. It seemed that more often than not, Matt was ruled by his fear. It amazed him to think that he had almost lost someone as wonderful as Adam because of his inability to conquer his irrational fears.

He didn’t want to be afraid any longer and he was going to stop being afraid that night. His stepfather was dead, and couldn’t hurt him anymore even if he wanted to. He needed to let go of his fear and trust Adam. Trust his love and his commitment, and trust in their relationship. Adam was a good man, the right man, and it was time that Matt stopped being too afraid to live his life with the man he loved.

When he was done thinking and had rinsed his body clean, he shut off the water and stepped out of the tub. He grabbed a towel hanging on the towel bar and wrapped it around his waist. He made his way into the bedroom where he quickly toweled off his body and then his hair. He put on some body lotion because his skin had a tendency to dry out and he didn’t want to have to deal with rough elbows while he was, hopefully, getting some action later on.

He finished by blow drying his hair and putting on his clothes. It felt strange getting dressed without any underwear on, but Matt wanted to make sure that Adam had easy access to his body in case anything happened, and he was very much hoping it would. Matt wasn’t the most alluring person in the world and was well aware of his tendency to become almost debilitatingly shy.

Adam was everything that he wasn’t: confident, experienced and self-assured. Matt couldn’t help that he was awkward, inexperienced and insecure. He’d never thought that someone as cute as Adam could ever want him, which was part of the reason he had resisted so much at first. Physically, he knew that he wasn’t a prize, but he loved Adam and even though he questioned why at times, he knew that Adam loved him too.

Matt was quiet by nature. But inside his reserved demeanor lurked a passionate man. At least that was what he suspected. Sometimes when he was with Adam, he would feel a pull of desire so strong that he was literally confused by it. He never confided these feelings to Adam, and maybe that was the problem.

It was quite possible that Matt had repressed his sexuality for so long that he was now sexually primed from all the years of deprivation. With Adam, he often experienced intense desire and raw sexual need but he always squelched the feelings. The nights were usually the hardest times. Matt would often awaken in the night to find his body fitted to the curve of Adam’s, after which it would take him a really long time to get back to sleep. Adam would be lying there naked next to him in bed, his body relaxed in slumber and Matt would be so tempted.

Blowing out a breath, Matt glanced at the clock and noted that it was 9:15 p.m. Fifteen minutes to go. He hoped that Adam would show up on time. He was usually prompt, but he ran his own restaurant and sometimes delays were unavoidable. Adam’s restaurant, ‘Fred’s’, was named after his father and Adam had opened it right after he had finished college. Whereas Matt ran his business from home and could schedule his work around his life, Adam constantly had to cater to the demands of his restaurant. He made a lot of sacrifices; time being the most frequent and substantial.

Matt hoped that tonight wouldn’t be one of those nights. He was really looking forward to their date. It had been a while since they had gone out together and with all the recent problems they’d been having, now was definitely a good time to take a break. The butterflies in his stomach were increasing, but there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t know what to expect tonight, but whatever happened it would end with him and Adam in bed together. Of that, he was certain.

He had just finished inspecting himself in the mirror when a knock sounded at the door. Matt whipped around quickly, straightening imaginary wrinkles on his shirt before moving towards the door. He glanced at the clock on his way and saw that it was nine-thirty on the dot. Prompt as usual. When he reached the door, he unlocked it and opened it to reveal Adam standing on his threshold looking good enough to maul.

Adam barely spared him a glance as he asked, "Are you ready to go?"

Matt was a little caught off guard by Adam’s abruptness, but he quickly masked it and said, "Umm, yeah. Lemme just grab my jacket." He turned around and re-entered the apartment to get his coat. He left the door open for Adam to follow him, but Adam ignored the silent invitation and remained standing outside the door.

Matt put on his jacket and grabbed his keys. He switched off the lights behind him and when he got to the hallway, he locked the up apartment and pocketed the keys. Once he was done, Adam turned and started making his way out of the building to the parking lot, leaving Matt to follow. He still hadn’t said more than five words to Matt since his arrival. When they reached the car, Adam unlocked the vehicle and entered once again, making no effort to converse with Matt. So far, things were going a lot differently than Matt had foreseen, but he wouldn’t let it upset him. He was sure that things would look up very soon.