At the first touch of his lips my brain shut down. I forgot about everything else and focused on the intoxicating feel of the savage’s lips on my own. My entire body simultaneously went limp and stiff. I remained a passive participant for no longer than a moment before my hands came up of their own volition and framed the savage’s face, holding it in place.

At the touch of my hands I felt some of the volatile tension leave the savage’s body and he pressed even closer to me. He angled his head and increased his efforts, letting me feel his hunger, his need. I felt his arms slip around me and unconsciously let out a moan.

I was just starting to get into the kiss, when the savage abruptly pulled back. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at him questioningly.

“I need you,” he said.

The look on his face was fierce when he said the words. The feel of his arms around me were like iron bands; escape was impossible even if I wanted to. I didn’t want to. I liked being in his arms, being held by him. But his words came as a shock.

I swallowed and my eyes went as wide as saucers. I knew what he was talking about. I could feel it poking into my lower belly. I’d had a crush on this boy for so long, but sex? I didn’t think I was ready for that yet. I wasn’t even sure where we were relationship-wise. Did this mean we were a couple?

I scrambled for an answer, but the only thing that my mind could come up with was, “Now?”

The fire I had previously seen in the savage’s eyes blazed to life. I felt that other part of him jerk against my belly. My hands fell from his face and came to rest on his broad shoulders. It was hard enough to think with the savage in the room. Trying to form coherent thoughts in the circle of his arms with the evidence of his arousal pressed up against me was nearly impossible.

But I had to, because I wasn’t ready yet to do what he was asking. Knowing that I had to refuse him, I let my eyes fall from his and rest on the strong steady pulse that beat at the base of his neck

“W-we can’t,” I stammered out.

I waited in silence to hear what he would say.

“Are you saying you don’t want to?” he asked cautiously.

“Yes. I mean, no, I mean yes. I mean …” I trailed off, embarrassed by the clumsy way with which I was handling things.

I took a deep breath and said, “I don’t think I’m ready yet.”

That was mostly true, but it wasn’t the only reason. There were many things that were still unresolved between the savage and I and we still had yet to talk about them. The savage began to step back and his arms began to release me, but I wasn’t willing for him to let me go yet, so I fisted my hand in the front of his shirt and held on for dear life.

The savage looked at me expectantly, as if to say, what are you gonna do now? I had absolutely no idea and that made me immensely frustrated. Before I could fully think about what I was doing, I released his shirt and began pounding on his chest. Not the most mature reaction, but one I indulged in all the same.

In order to get me to stop, the savage caught both of my wrists in his hand, using his grip to control me, holding me just tight enough to let me know that I could be easily subdued.

He cocked his head to one side and gave me a long, contemplative stare before saying, “I need you and I want you, but … if you’re not ready yet then I’m not going to force you.”

That took the fight right out of me. I took a step back, but now it was the savage who wasn’t ready to release me. He pulled me up flush against his hard, hot body and I gasped.

I was glad the savage had decided to come to his senses on his own, before it was too late and I decided that it was time to get over him. And that was something I’d come very close to doing. But still, the situation was much like owning a car and not knowing how to drive. It seemed that I’d finally gotten my wish, but what was I going to do with it?

I opened my mouth to speak, but his lips came down on mine, stifling my words. This time I took to the kiss immediately. There was no mistaking his intent, his desire. A part of me, the purely basic part, wanted to give him what he was asking. I made a low, needy sound in the back of my throat and arched closer to his body.

The savage suddenly pulled back and said, “I should go.”

My passion-clouded mind was slow to understand what he was saying, but when I was finally able to comprehend I wasn’t happy. Why did he want to go? We were finally getting to kiss, to make out, and he wanted to leave? Couldn’t he see that I had just realized a dream of mine? A dream I’d had since middle school.

Sighing, I let my gaze fall from his and pressed my lips together. His taste still lingered and I savored it for a moment before I realized what I was doing. A quick glance at the savage’s face confirmed my fear that he had seen me perform the telltale action.

“Okay,” I said, clearing my throat and looking shyly away.

The savage hooked his finger under my chin and brought my gaze back up to his own. He looked at me long and hard before leaning down and kissing me again, deep and hard. I was already painfully erect and the kiss only made things worse.

With a surprising show of willpower, the savage disentangled our tongues and ended the kiss. My chest rose and fell harshly with every breath I took.

“I’m gonna go,” he reiterated.

I nodded mutely, not trusting myself to say anything. My hands itched to reach out and touch him, to pull him back into my arms and go back to kissing, but I held back, knowing that now was not the time.

“When will you be back,” I asked.

“This weekend,” he answered.

This weekend?!? That was two days away. I couldn’t wait that long. I could barely wait two hours let alone two whole days. This was torture. How did he expect me to last so long? I opened my mouth to object, but snapped it shut before I could utter a word. I fought the urge to beg him to stay and take me in his arms. Now was not the time.

When he reached the door, the savage turned and gave me a look that sorely tested my control. The desire in his eyes was so fierce I shivered. A part of me knew that if he decided not to leave and instead take me now, I wouldn’t fight him. As quickly as it came, the moment passed and the savage broke eye contact, turning around and exiting out the front door.

******

On Friday afternoon, I went over to see Griff after school. I’d wanted to go see him the day before, but he’d refused to let me come over. When I’d asked him why, he had made up some vague excuse that had left me suspicious. I couldn’t help but wonder if Griff was expecting another visitor. Now that I was here, I could see that my suspicions had been right.

I was sitting on Griff’s bed watching him freak out and finding it vastly entertaining. Mr. I’m-never-frazzled-cause-I’ve-always-got-my-shit-together was rapidly approaching the end of his rope and it was all because of one gorgeous green-eyed boy. It was cute, really, in a strange, dysfunctional kind of way.

“I don’t understand what the problem is,” I spoke from my lounging position on the bed.

I was getting a little headache from watching Griff wear a hole in his carpet. He had been pacing back and forth for a solid twenty.

“You like Jake. Jake likes you. Everyone’s happy,” I continued and my words brought Griff to an abrupt halt. “And don’t even try denying it cause I’ve seen the way you look at him when you think no one’s looking.” I saw Griff’s eyes widen and I smirked, but it didn’t last long.

“It’s not that simple, Connor,” he said with a glare.

“Yes it is,” I argued, “you’re just creating drama where there is none.”

“I told you, I can’t be in a relationship.”

“That’s right, you did tell me. But you forgot to mention why,”

“That’s … personal,” Griff said and I watched his face heat adorably.

Of course I was automatically intrigued. Was Griff blushing? Boy oh boy, this was gonna be good. I sat up on the bed.

“Come on, dude, tell me,” I nagged.

“No,” he said.

“I won’t stop bugging you until you do,” I said. “Come on, just tell me. You know you want to.”

I could hear myself getting whiny but I didn’t care. I just watched in disbelief as Griff’s face got redder and redder until it was the color of a ripe tomato. My mind was racing. What could it be that had him so embarrassed?

“Okay,” Griff finally said. “But you have to swear that you’re NEVER going to tell another living soul.”

“Of course,” I promised without even thinking about it.

“Okay,” Griff said again. He exhaled long and slow as if building up his courage for what he was going to say.

“I’m a little … different,” he began tentatively. I didn’t say anything, I just nodded for him to continue.

“I hurt my last boyfriend,” he said. When he saw my brows sink down in a frown he hurried to reassure me. “I didn’t mean to, it’s just that I’m … different.”

There was that word again. I’d been hanging out with Griff since he moved here and as far as I could tell he wasn’t that different. Sure he got a little intense every once in a while but that was cool, and definitely an advantage if he had your back. So far, Griff had always had my back.

“What do you mean “different”?” I asked carefully, trying hard to keep my tone neutral.

Griff looked extremely uncomfortable and for a moment I even felt sorry for him. It was obvious that whatever he wanted to say was extremely personal and private, but I desperately wanted to know what it was.

“I’m big,” he said the words so low that I wasn’t even sure I heard him right and I asked him to repeat himself

“Down there,” he said as a way of clarifying, “I’m a little bigger than normal.”

For a minute, I wasn’t sure if he was joking until I looked up and saw the raw emotion on his face. He had a look of pure anguish, no doubt from having to share something so confidential. I swallowed once, then twice and I still couldn’t make my voice work.

“How much bigger are we talking about here?” I heard myself ask.

I guess I had just asked Griff to see his cock. I felt sure that he would refuse, but I really wanted to see just how big his dick was if he was purportedly larger than average. Before he could answer, I continued.

“I’m confused. Why is this a bad thing again? I thought being hung was a good thing?”

“I … I don’t want to hurt Jake, but I know that if we were to get together I would. And what if he thinks it’s … gross? At my old school, the kids used to call me freakish in the shower.”

Again I felt the inappropriate need to laugh, but I killed it. Griff was my friend and I had a feeling that if I laughed now it would cause irreparable damage.

But he looked so cute and his worries were so unnecessary that I couldn’t help but find the situation vastly amusing.

I wanted to tell him that his fears were groundless, that Jake was more likely to be ecstatic than afraid of his little … secret.

“Can I see it?”

The words were out of my mouth even before the thought was completely formed in my head. I saw Griff’s eyes widen and then a look of indecision came into his eyes.

Of course that could be due to the fact that I had just made a highly unusual request. It wasn’t everyday that one got asked to expose the most private part of their body to someone else for inspection. If he agreed then that would signal a definite change in our relationship, making us much more than mere friends.

I was curious to see just how large Griff was downstairs. My mind was going crazy with all sorts of imaginings. I’d heard the longest penis ever was sixteen inches and I wondered if Griff surpassed that. Just how big did one’s dick have to be for others to start calling them a freak?

Not very big, I discovered a few moments later when Griff quickly pulled down his pants and gave me a quick glimpse of his cock. It all happened so fast that I almost missed it entirely, but I did manage to get a good look, and I had to admit that that boy’s penis was no joke.

It wasn’t sixteen inches either but it may as well have been. It was much, much larger than my own and much larger than anything I had seen on the Internet and in porn movies. It was huge. I was amazed that he could even walk straight.

“Uhh,” was all I could say. I was in awe.

I blinked a couple of times to clear my vision. It was as though the image of his dick was burned into my brain and remained in my sight long after it had been covered up. I cleared my throat and tried to think of something else to say, but I kept drawing blanks.

What could I say? Gee, your penis is ginormous. Something – probably what little common sense I could locate – told me that wasn’t really the right thing to say. I could only imagine what his last boyfriend went through.

Griff was standing there, quiet, his face becoming redder and redder as he waited for me to say more.

“Wanna see mine?”

It took me a moment before my offer made sense. Griff cocked his head at me, and I had the good sense to blush.

“Just kidding,” I rushed out before he could respond.

I was making a muck out of this. If only I could clear the image of Griff’s massive cock from my mind and think clearly. Taking a deep breath, and summoning up what little brain cells I had left, I cleared my throat and said, “I really don’t think Jake will mind.”

I watched as Griff’s eyebrows drew down in a frown as he prepared to scowl at me. I also noticed that Griff was rather cute when he was mad.

“What are you talking about?” Griff asked angrily, “he’s going to take one look at me and … and …”

He paused as though thinking up a suitably horrific reaction. I used the opportunity to interrupt him, saying, “Want to get you in bed that second?”

Griff shot me another angry look, but didn’t say anything. Instead he just huffed. I couldn’t believe he was actually insecure about having a big dick. Most men wanted larger penises. And most guys wanted boyfriends that were well hung. Knowing what I knew about Jake, I couldn’t imagine his preferences being any different.

If there was anyone out there that would appreciate a large cock, it was definitely Jake. I wanted to allay Griff’s fears. After all, they were needless. From what I could tell, Jake had it bad for Griff and it was going to take more than a larger-than-average dick to change that.

Griff looked at me as though he so badly wanted to believe my words. I didn’t want him to worry, especially since he had no reason to.

“There’s something else,” Griff said after another moment.

I waited for him to continue, wondering what else he had up his sleeve. Super-sized balls perhaps? I started to smile before I noted the extreme discomfort displayed on Griff’s face.

“My ex …” he began haltingly. “He’s the only one I’ve ever … you know. And after that first time, we never … you know. So, I’ve only ever done it, or tried to do it, once.”

My mouth fell open. I stared at him in blatant disbelief. Was he trying to tell me what I thought he was trying to tell me? Did this mean that Griff was a virgin?

“So you’re saying you’ve never …?” I let my words trail off as I used my hands to gesture obscenely by recreating the motion of penetration.

Griff face colored even more before he looked down and nodded.

“Okay,” I said slowly.

I was shocked that Griff was a virgin, especially since he had always come off as so knowledgeable, but it wasn’t the end of the world. And again, I didn’t really think Jake would care.

“So what’s the problem?” I asked.

Griff paused for a moment before responding with, “What if things are awkward? Or what if I suck?”

I prepared to jump in and make an obvious joke, but Griff beat me to it, saying, “I didn’t mean “suck” like that.”

I pouted, having been denied my joke, but Griff continued.

“I know he’s been with a lot of people. Guys and girls. What if I don’t measure up? Then he won’t like me anymore.”

Griff said the last part in a whisper, but I heard his words all the same and I immediately understood. It was as though he was worried about all the things that had been plaguing me when I thought about having a physical relationship with the savage. Things like being awkward, inexperienced, worrying you were being compared to past partners and being found lacking.

“Listen,” I said, “Jake likes you.” I made sure to stress the word. “That’s all that’s important. You can figure out everything else when you get to it.”

As advice went, it wasn’t much, but it was really the best I could do. I knew even less about sex than Griff did, and I really wasn’t in any position to be offering any sort of counseling when I had no idea what the fuck to expect either.

*******

Later that day, after I left Griff’s house, I was sitting at my computer doing nothing. My conversation with Griff had given me lots to think about regarding my own relationship with the savage. Where previously I had only been suffering nervousness and fear of the unknown, I was now – courtesy of our little chat – having anxiety about performance and my obvious lack of skill in the bedroom.

I tried to calm myself by saying that it wouldn’t really be that bad. After all, the savage knew that I hadn’t been with anybody before, and that being the case, he wouldn’t have any expectations. But what if I was wrong and he did? Then what?

There’s was no way I could delude myself when it came to sex and the savage. I knew that he would want it from me and lots of it. I also knew that he had been with scores of boys before me – I had seen all of them come and go while secretly wishing I could trade places with them – and that I didn’t, couldn’t, measure up to most of them.

Another concern I was having was trying to figure out just how long I could hold off before the savage began demanding some ass. I knew it was lame and counter-culture to the current teen rage that was ‘get as much ass as you can as soon as possible’ but I wanted to wait.

I wanted my first time to be perfect and special. For a long time I believed that as long as it was with the savage then it would be, but now I was having doubts. I knew that I should discuss them with the savage, let him know what was on my mind, but I had absolutely no idea how to bring the subject up in the first place.

I was right in the middle of that thought, when there was a knock on my bedroom door, jarring me out of my musings. Assuming it was my mom, I called out, “Come in.”

I was surprised when the savage opened the door and walked right in. considering what my recent thoughts had been about, it was almost like I had conjured him up. I gave him a shy smile as he strode towards me.

He walked over and sat on the side of my bed facing me. He looked at me without saying anything and I immediately became nervous. I let my gaze drop from his and said, “Hi.”

I was attempting to cover my nervousness but the quaver in my voice gave me away.

“Hi,” the savage said slowly.

He was looking at me in a way that made a heat settle in my lower belly. His eyes were intense and steady and filled with something I couldn’t really identify. In all the years I had known him, he hadn’t ever looked at me quite like that. I swallowed.

“Whatcha doin?” he continued in the same low, seductive voice and the sound of it was making it difficult for me to concentrate. Suddenly I couldn’t remember what I had been doing, so I said, “Nothing.”

“Why don’t you come over here then?” he asked, patting the spot next to him on my bed.

My heartbeat quickened at the suggestive tone of his voice. I slowly rose from my seat in front of my computer and made my way over to the bed, cautiously taking a seat next to him. I left about a six-inch space between the two of us, because I thought the distance might help me maintain my concentration even though the savage and I were sitting so closely on my bed.

My plan failed, however, because as soon as I sat down the savage quickly scooted over, closing the gap between our two bodies. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting him to do but my body involuntarily stiffened in anticipation. I could feel the savage’s eyes regarding me closely, but I kept my hands clasped in my lap and my eyes on my hands.

For one long moment neither of us moved or spoke and I was just beginning to let down my guard when the savage moved closer and pushed his face into the crook of my neck. I let out something that sounded like a yelp, but managed to keep myself from jumping up. I waited for him to do something, but the savage did no more that take a deep breath against my neck as though inhaling my scent.

He stayed that way for a few seconds before whispering against my skin, “I missed you.”

That simple statement filled me with impossible warmth. Not only because we had seen each other the day before, but also because I loved it when the savage said such romantic things to me. I smiled before answering, “I missed you too.”

The savage lifted his head and looked into my eyes, before slowly leaning forward and kissing me. There was nothing hurried about his descent and he still hadn’t touched me other than with his lips, but something about the whole situation possessed unparalleled intimacy. Perhaps it was the silence of my bedroom or the dull light of the late afternoon sun streaming through my windows or the languid manner with which he tasted my lips, which was thorough, assured, as though he had some purpose he was sure he would achieve.

I opened my mouth and let him explore at will. I didn’t hold anything back from him and allowed myself to be pulled into the unquestionable pleasure of his kiss. I sighed. This was what I loved most. I had waited years and years before engaging in physical intimacy, but my time with the savage made my previous deprivation evaporate.

We kissed for several minutes before the savage sank his teeth into my plump lower lip and gently tugged. He released my bruised lip before flashing me a wolfish smile and saying, “Sorry. I couldn’t help it. You taste so good, I just wanted to take a little bite.”

I nodded, still feeling hazy. It was difficult to get my wits back after he kissed me like that. But the savage either wasn’t expecting an answer or wasn’t prepared to wait for one, because his head descended again and I was engulfed in another mind-blowing kiss.

I was still tentative when it came to kissing, but I was learning. I was no longer as stiff as I used to be and I gave myself up easily to the savage’s skill. I was just starting to surrender myself again to his mouth, when I felt his hand come up and brush my chest.

My spine curved outward and I attempted to move away, but the savage’s other hand came up, cupping the back of my head and holding me in place. The rhythm and ardency of his kiss didn’t change, but his hand slid down my torso before slipping under my shirt.

At the first touch of the savage’s hand against my bare skin, I gasped and jerked, this time with more force, severing the contact of our mouths. The savage let me move back, easing the pressure of his hand on the back of my head, but not removing it entirely. His other hand lay against my abdomen, below my belly button, unmoving.

I gulped air into my lungs before asking hoarsely, “What are you doing?”

“Touching you,” the savage replied with a small, indulging smile.

Well, that much was obvious. The two of us looked at each other while I tried to decide what to say next. I was still pondering that when the savage’s hand began sliding up my belly. My hand automatically shot up and captured his wrist. He looked at me enquiringly and stopped.

“Is something the matter?” he asked with a frown.

I moved my lips but my throat refused to work. After a moment of this, the savage began to draw his hand up again, but I tightened my hold on his wrist even more. When he stopped for the second time and looked at me questioningly, I managed to gasp out, “Don’t.”