September 6th to September 13th





	Wednesday, September 6th, 2000 @ 2:56 AM PST Maybe it's intuition But some things you just don't question Like in your eyes I see my future in an instant And there it goes I think I've found my best friends I know that it might sound more than a little crazy But I believe I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life I knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life There's just no rhyme or reason Only this sense of completion And in your eyes I see the missing pieces I'm searching for I think I've found my best friend I know that it might sound more than a little crazy But I believe I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life I knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life A thousand angels dance around you I am complete now that I've found you I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life I knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life What's this about you must be saying.. has Matt gone mad? No.. just a little love sick.. smile OK.. cutting to the chase.. It's happened.. after many months.. I've found someone. He's a great guy.. and I'm just soooo.. I don't know.. excited, elated, nervous, scared.. all of the above.. more.. I don't know.. Waylon, you know how much I love to quote pop culture, so this one's for you.. and I couldn't have said it better myself.. 'You're the best thing in my life'.. I don't remember who it was that said it, but it's fitting.. Music is the soundtrack to life.. The song above, "I Knew I Loved You" by Savage Garden is your song. I told you earlier that I had heard Amazed by Lone Star on the radio today and it made me think of you, but as I was scanning my mp3's, this song just popped right out, and I played it, and it just seemed so right. I know you'll understand what I mean.. Anyway, if music is the soundtrack to life.. this is your song. No matter how corny that sounds.. (and believe me.. I do realise it:) it's true.. I have been waiting all my life..

	Wednesday, September 13th, 2000 @ 10:39 PM PST On Saturday Waylon and I met.. it was really cool to get to hang out with him. He was living with a friend of his until he can get a place of his own (he's moving down here from Alaska). Anyway, I got to his friends house at about 5:00, cuz I had to work till 2, had to bus, shower, drive to his friends place yada yada yada.. I think my eyes bugged out of my head when he opened the door (he said the same thing..:) cuz he is just so damn cute. I couldn't believe it.. well, I could.. but you know!:) Anyway, we hung out for a couple hours, watched "Trick" and "Drop Dead Gorgeous", went for coffee, talked, it was nice. The whole time we were watching Trick (it's a gay movie for those who haven't heard of it) I kept trying to sneek glances at him, and I kept looking at his hands. I really wanted to hold his hand.. At about 11:00 I had to go home. He said he'd see me to my car. We opened the door and it was raining, so he went back in to get his jacket, while I stood outside.. I like rain.. I think it's soothing.. He came back outside and walked me to my car. We both agree'd that we were really happy that I came to visit.. We got to my car and stood at it for a minute, looking at each other, into each others eyes.. I knew what was going to happen next, but I didn't expect it.. He leaned in and kissed me. My first kiss with a guy.. my first kiss that MEANT something.. I freaked out. I couldn't get into it, I was so nervous, so scared that he'd know I was nervous and scared.. I looked at him, and nervously said "I'm sorry.. my first guy kiss" (I don't even think I got that many words out). He said he knew.. and he kissed me again.. As our lips parted and we looked up, I realised 3 guys were coming toward us, I think he realised it too, and we both said our goodbyes. He walked back to the house, and I got into my car.. I was in a daze.. I couldn't believe it happened.. I don't remember my drive home.. I just know I got to a gas station and HAD to call my friends.. He flew back to Alaska on Monday.. We've been talking every night on ICQ.. I'm happy, I think/hope he's happy. I don't think either of us expected anything to happen.. I'm so glad it has though.. I just can't wait till he moves down here PERMANENTLY, because right now, there is a little empty spot waiting for Waylon to come back and fill it.. It's funny.. I feel like I'm starting this whole dating thing ALL over again. It's as if every date I've been on, ever relationship, every kiss, all of that has just disappeared, and I'm starting from scratch. I don't think I realised that would happen when I started dating guys.. but I guess it makes sense. It's a totally different experience. My other boyfriend (I haven't mentioned him until now because he was really closeted and wouldn't let me talk about him..) and I didn't do much together. We went out for coffee and saw a movie together.. that's ALL.. so I don't really even consider him a boyfriend.. just a friend.. Now that I have Waylon, I realise how much I have been missing, and what I was missing when I was with girls. It's completely different.. it's comfortable, it's not awkward at all.. It just feels right.. and I don't know if that's a Waylon/Matt thing or just a Matt/guy thing (I think it's both).. Anyway, Waylon.. I'm counting down the days till you return.. (give me a date so I have a number to start at eh?:)