Friday March 10th, 2000 @ 12:04 AM PST

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out -
because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the communists
and I did not speak out -
because I was not a communist.

Then they came for the trade
unionists and I did not speak out -
because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me -
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.

Pastor Niemoeller (victim of the Nazis)

These words, written 50 years ago, still ring true today. In light of recent events, I thought this passage was appropriate. I read this a few months ago, and it has stuck with me. Recently the group that has been targeted is the homosexuals. Remember.. this week they came for the homosexuals, and you did not speak out because you weren't a homosexual, but they may be coming for you, and if they do, who will speak out for you if there is no one left?

Just remember, if someone had said something, if people had defended the rights of others, the events in Nazi Germany would never have happened, the slaughter in Rwanda would not have occurred. These events happened in Europe and in Africa but they could just as easily occur in Canada or the United States. They may never happen to you, but they may happen to someone you care about. Are you willing to let other people suffer because you are unwilling to speak up? Are you willing to take the chance that the people you don't defend may not be there to defend you?

Tuesday March 14th, 2000 @ 12:54 AM PST

Well I haven't updated in a few days, and it's not because I've been particularly busy, just that I haven't had anything really interesting to say lately.

Today was kinda fun though. I can usually go an entire day in school without falling asleep.. but today I was really tired. I kept drifting off. I probably got a total of 3 hours of sleep during the whole day. It's nice to get some sleep during the day, because school is just REALLY boring. I'm not cut out for a life in academia. I enjoy learning, I enjoy some of the classes I'm taking, but the homework associated with the classes, the tests, all the really crappy stuff makes school quite unenjoyable. Am I getting anything out of this experience? I don't think so. Would things be better if I was going to school in a different city? I mean a lot of people that I've talked to say that going to school out of Vancouver is really great. They enjoy being away from home, they enjoy being in a new city, they enjoy the freedom they have, but I wonder, is it money well spent? I mean would I be getting anything out of going to U of T as opposed to UBC or SFU? The experience of a different city, sure, but I can move to Toronto and not go to school, and not pay all that money to get the same experience.

Or is there something I'm missing? Everyone that's in university right now says that they skip half their classes. As it is I skip one class a day. I just can't deal with 5 classes a day. I don't know how I managed to go to school last year, going to 5 classes, then spending another 2 hours working on the yearbook, or working on a play. How did I do that, and why does 7 hours at school burn me out now? But I digress, am I missing something? Is there something to this going to school away from home thing? Everyone I've talked to says they love it.. but is it the freedom or the school? Are they learning anything? Does it matter? Am I learning anything? I'm having fun, but I don't need to spend over 1 thousand dollars a semester to have fun. I could be working, making money, moving out of my house, moving out of the city, being free, but would I be having as much fun as I am right now? Is it the school atmosphere or is it just the fact that I'm with my friends, with other people etc.. I wish I knew.. cuz school is damn expensive and I don't want to pay for it unless I'm going to get something out of it.

As it is I don't know what I want to do with my life. I know I don't want to be flipping burgers (wrapping burritos) my whole life. I wish someone would just tell me what I'm supposed to do with my life, cuz right now I really don't know. I seem to know what I want for like 6 months and then all of a sudden I realise that what I once thought was a cool idea is actually really lame, really impossible or something I couldn't possibly do. I'd love to go into film, but I'm too realistic to do that. The odds of making it in the film industry are so low, and I wouldn't be content to be subordinate to others. I'm a leader, I always have been. I wouldn't make a good worker ant.. I'm suited to be the Queen.. <smirk> Sometimes I think that I'd like to be a councelor, but could I actually deal with people whining at me 24/7? As it is I can't handle my brothers constant complaints, my parents constant bickering (actually it's my dads constant unwillingness to communicate with my mother and his girlfriends constant insistence that all dialog between the two of them should take place through a lawyer.. WHATEVER), my pseudo-step mom's paranoia. Am I the only sane person in my family or am I just as screwed up as the rest of them and too stupid to realise it?

So uhm, back to my day.. I got a letter from the Head of the English Department inviting me to a luncheon. Apparently one of my English teachers recommended me. That's pretty cool, especially since I don't fancy myself as much of a writer. I mean I know I'm a competent writer, but I'm not THAT good. My mom wants me to go to the luncheon, but I don't know if I want to. I'm a friendly person, but I'd feel kind of awkward in a situation like that. I want one of my friends to be there too. I just want someone I know to be there, so that I don't have to sit there alone, looking like some weird kid. But still, I think it's pretty cool that I got that letter. Atleast someone thinks I'm intelligent.. EAT THAT Dad!

So what else happened today? I sat on something black and had to walk around for the rest of the day with my jacket covering my ass.. I think I'm a freak, because even though I was really embarrassed to be walking around with a big black/brown spot on my ass, I still showed it to everyone. Is that weird? I mean I couldn't walk down the hall without a jacket covering it, but as soon as I see someone I know, I pull off the jacket and show them my ass. I guess I'm just weird.