| But seriously, does anyone procrastinate more than me? I sincerely doubt it. What is it, June now? And I still haven't written the last TWO ldr's, plus I lost the other one that I had written? Next time any of you that still check this site see me, just slug me in the gut, I deserve it. But until then, I'm going to try to rack my brain and remember the particulars of two water fights that took place over a month ago. Yeah, right. So instead, I'm simply going to sort of leap frog from memory to memory, trying to hit all the highpoints and giving you an idea if what went down. This is all for the sake of finishing something that I started, so that I'm at least not a total loser. I almost got in a fight with some four foot midget guy, cause he was really pissed about getting wet, WHEN HE WAS STANDING NEXT TO THE ENEMY'S WATER BALLOON LAUNCHER. Honestly, is it just whiney guy month? First the dweeb with the hockey stick, now this? Well, I told him off too, went on about how it was schol hall tradition, not a surprise it happens every week, and if he didn't like it he coul kiss my so and so. He didn't take it very well, but apparently noticed that I was two feet taller than him and of a wookie-ish physique (allright, maybe a slightly out of shape wookie, but let me have my delusions) so he turned around and left. Would have been over too, but since we didn't spray the last guy, Brian decided to take it out on this one and pegged him right in the butt. So of course he turns around, all indignant-like, and stalks back over to ME, thinking I'd done it. He starts getting in my face again (or as close as he could reach:) and here I'm doing all I can to keep from laughing. At one point he even took his glasses off, with a gesture I'm sure he'd spent countless hours practicing in front of a mirror in an attempt at suavitity, and that almost made me cackle like a mad man. So, seeing that his work there was done, he finally left, all the while keeping a good watch on his back to make sure we didn't try anything funny. That was the third to last fight. The second to last was actually quite the drubbing, for us. Much less of our team showed, and about twice as many as usual came from Batenfeld. Oddly enough, there was almost no action from Pearson. However, before everything really got rolling, about half the Lylemen went over to Ammini to try to solve some sort of personal dispute. Then, BF started spewing guys by the handful, who came at us with guns, balloons, and huge pots of water. We were able to dodge most of the balloons, and pots aren't hard to avoid, but this is the first time we've fought much against other guns, and we got pretty wet. Then, when we tried to make a run on their front door where they had their ammo depot set up, we found out that they had run a hose through the kitchen and out the door, so they could spray us without worrying about us taking the nozzle. That was the last straw. I pumped my two guns, slung them on their straps and charged in. I sprayed quite a few people, and got the guy with the hose right in the face so he wasn't too acurate, but I was still incredibly drenched. I didn't care however, and finally reached the ten foot length of hose coming out the front door, and triple kinked it. As their hose man tried to wrest it from my grip, I was busy pumping my gun back up and spraying him in the ear, all the while dodging balloons thrown from about three feet away. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but really, I felt like some sort of super soldier. Of course, none of my allies came in at this time to help me out, so it was just me versus them. When the hose man decided he wasn't going to get it away from me, he dropped his end and went for some balloons. That's when I grabbed the nozzle, let off the kink, and sprayed the bejeezus out of them. They eventually got smart and turned it off, then they tried to pull it in. I wasn't having any of that, so I looped it around my hands and pulled back. First it was me holding of their scrawny guy. Then another guy joined in. Pretty soon, I'm not sure how many I was pulling against, but the line went back into the building. And I was still by myself. At one point I even hulked out so much that when I yanked on it I actually pulled one of their guys out the door. I thought that was cool. But it got boring, so finally I let them have it. From then on, it was all down hill. They just constantly soaked us, we couldn't rally together to hit them, and I'm not ashamed to say they beat us. Allright, final fight. We'd done some strategizing, and decided our best plan was to hold back and make them come to us. Every week we went out looking for the fight, and let them be defensive. So we all stood in front, locked and loaded, but we waited for them to come. And to top it off, our secret weapon, a new balloon launcher to replace the one that had been stolen. I actually made the money for it by taking up a collection, we named it the "Isaac Denke Memorial Water Balloon Launcher." They came to us in spurts, never many at a time, and we wasted them. Eventually they all just stood in a big group down the block by Pearson, and tried to act like they were ignoring us. Until we dropped a few balloons on them. Actually, that made them come over and start yelling at us, some crap about "Don't you know launchers were outlawed? We had a window broken by one." I don't know, I didn't really pay attention to them. I spouted back some drivel that made them shut up, and they left. That's when the cop pulled up. Wanted to know who was in charge. We said no one, and he said there had been complaints, if he had to come back again he'd be issueing noise citations. That pretty much wraps it up. Not the best LD ever, but eventful. Well, I guess I'm done now. I apologize once more that this was so late, but after a while the novelty just wore off and I started feeling like they just weren't as funny any more. I hope everyone has enjoyed this. Unless someone asks, I most likely won't be writing these up next semester, except for the occaisional update to let you know how badly our new men our killing the opposition. It's been cool, ciao. Matt |