| Well, well, well. It's that time of the week again(no, not THAT time either, it's loopy day) Before I get into tonight's affairs, some backnotes. A highly secret meeting of SUCIT(held on the porch picnic table where everyone walked by, thanks to my brilliant planning) went down on Tuesday evening. There were 6 members in attendance, and we discussed such issues as getting ninja masks and the value of not just standing around when a teammate is being severely bucketed. We ended early and adjourned to 6 hours of smash bros and watching mtv's Undressed (quite possible the greatest show in the history of television, other than Simpsons). Wendesday night myself and another member went shopping, and we acquired some pvc piping and surgical hose, with which we planned to build a highpowered water balloon mortar. Five minutes into working on it, I had a bit of a disagreement with my swiss army knife, I said it should keep drilling a hole in the plastic, it said it wanted to close on my thumb and almost lop half of it off. The knife won. Fifteen minutes, four ounces of blood, 20 paper towels, and a roll of gauze later, I was back at work on my device. I completed it and after several test shots discovered the merit of being a engineering major, instead of a theatre major with too much time on his hands and who had never had physics. So yeah, if anyone wants to buy some used and bloodstained pvc piping, I'm your man. Thursday, however, we did track down some actual water balloons (cannonball brand to be specific) and bought 150 of those. Preparation began at about 10:30. The local temperatures have been dropping quite a bit lately, reaching the low seventies. For an extra advantage, the balloons we filled ahead of time we placed in our minifridges, to guarantee a surprise to the enemy. At 11:30 the troops started to turn out. We all got dressed in our dark clothes, and filled our super soakers, all the while with the musical assistance of Catch-22 in the background. For yet another edge, we actually packed our tanks with ice, the goal being to give someone pneumonia before the end of the night. As midnight approached i split our team of approximately 10 guys: 6 stayed on the fire escape, and I led Sleepy, Dennis, and Bryan around the halls and up the hill, so we could come at Pearson from the other side, under cover of shrubbery. Pearson began to call out their greetings, and got a bit of a surprise from Stephenson. Some of the music fanatics had rigged together three different stereo systems and added a microphone, and they began one of the most horrible trashtalking sessions known to man (at one point Leo, aour resident Russian alien, began to assault them with some of the most horribly vile words that I have never understood) When the enraged Pearsonites came boiling down their fire escape, the four of us charged, leading with a volley of our cannonballs, and then making mad dashes through their group with our SS's, spraying every which way. We actually drove about half of them back inside, not to be seen again that night, and the rest ran up their escape to the buckets they had waiting there. We did not follow, knowing the sheer folly of assaulting a fire escape(they had stolen our Operation Moses idea) instead we waited for our other six to meet up with us. The girls from Sellards came out with dozens of balloons, and began to attempt to hit Pearson. When they couldn't reach the third floor, they turned on the four of us. Laughing like maniacs, we wove in and out among them, soaking at point blank range and pelting them with their own balloons. After we showed those girls what for, we joined the rest of our team and went back to the hall to reload. For the next twenty minutes it was simply a matter of us walking up and down the street, wasting anyone who set foot out of their halls, and basically owning the entire block. It was at this point that we heard a commotion, and turning, saw that one of our men, back at the hall to reload, was being brutally ambushed by a squad from KKA. The nine of us charged, yelling profanities and spraying, and repelled the at least 15 KKA pansies. After reforming and filling up backpacks with water balloons, we set of across the street to assault KKA. The first one we ran into was their president, this short little prick that likes to run up and grab people's guns. He was carrying a plastic bag full of water balloons and heading our way alone. I circled behind him, and Adam bumrushed him and knocked his bag down. We surrounded him and hit him at least 5 times with his own balloons at 4 foot range, before chasing him back to his hall. We quickly halted as there was a force of about 20 guys on their front lawn. Shrimpy had obviously been meant to be bait, before we slaughtered him. We began to slowly back down the street, and they advanced. At about the half way point we halted, and there was a standoff. I spread my guys across the street and onto the sidewalks, and then took off on a suicide run up the right sidewalk. The one guy infront of me got off one quick balloon, which I dodged, before I was next to him, knocking down his spare balloons and squirting him in the ear. I looped around and came back behind them, managing to dodge most balloons, but receiving quite a shower from their SS's. I then returned to my group, and began cussing them out over why they had all just stood there and watched. At this point KKA attacked and we fought back. Sleepy took a nasty balloon to the eye, which sent him home injured. We had them going back for reloads when all of a sudden Ethan came roaring past us, and a KKA guy close on his heels with a bucket of water. We all took chase, but most of us stopped after a minute due to our heavy guns and lack of physical fitness (I'm highly considering mandatory training consisting of running steps with a fully loaded SS, much like in Rocky.) By the time we got there, there was no sign of Ethan, but there was a ruckus over at Sellards. When we got over there we found three drunk Pearson guys banging on their door and insisting the girls come out. For some reason they eventually came out, and the biggest guy grabbed one of the girls by the neck and started pulling her over to Pearson so they could dump a bucket on her. The other girls ran inside screaming, and Bryan and I kept yelling at him to cut it out, he would get loopy day banned, but he wouldn't listen, so me and Bryan sprayed him right in the face until he let go. The girl went inside, and the guy cussed for awhile, but he was too drunk to remember who had soaked him. He and his friends started walking home. My guys followed and squirted them, and Bryan and I went over to apologize to Sellards and tell them Stephenson had had nothing to do with it. They kept yelling back through the door, stalling, so figuring they were working up a way too soak us, we left. Everyone regrouped and reloaded at the hall, and we decided to have one last assault on KKA. It was at this point that Humpert (you all remember him, guy who turned traitor) came over with some balloons. A couple of my stupider guys followed, and fell right into an ambush. The rest of us came after, and we all set up in front of KKA. The wusses were hiding in their hall, throwing stuff from the third floor, and we couldn't get at them. After much frustration, we settled for stealing their garden hose and tying it in a huge knot around their parking sign, and we then returned home victorious. Although it was great fun being the undisputed winners this week, it was disappointing have so little opposition. I hope it warms up before next week, as we have a little surprise in the works. Tune in next time to find out our diabolical scheme, or don't, it doesn't make much of a difference. until then, toodles matt |