Empty

Do you have any idea what it feels like to have your heart broken by the one person you loved and trusted the most?

No?

Well I do, cause it just happened to me. Why don’t you pull up a chair, make yourself comfortable and I’ll tell you all about it.

First of all I’m gay. You might not think that when you look at my character but I am. Oh yeah, I should probably mention this so my story makes sense, I’m a pro wrestler.

Been a pro wrestler for years now and I’ve been gay a lot longer. Now, being gay is nothing new to the wrestling world, that is, behind the scenes of the wrestling world. The fans would have a fit if they found out that their favourite wrestlers were gay.

But a lot of the guys are and sure, there are some whores around but most of the relationships are strong ones, like mine is.

Or more to the point was.

See, I made the mistake of trusting someone, not just someone, him. I made the mistake of trusting him.

And why shouldn’t I?

I’ve known him for years and I’ve been his boyfriend since we broke into the business. So why shouldn’t I have trusted him? He’s never given me a reason not too, and that makes what happened all the more painful.

I trusted him. I trusted him with my life. And that sort of trust isn’t given out very often. You give it to a few friends, your family, well some of them.

But when you give that trust to your boyfriend, the person you love, that sort of trust covers a lot of things. If you trust the person you love with your life, then you trust them with your heart. And when that trust is thrown back in your face it hurts.

God does it hurt.

All the injuries I’ve suffered in the ring are nothing compared to the pain he’s caused me. One instant was all it took. Years of trust were washed away in the blink of an eye.

Trust.

If you say it over and over again, it eventually becomes meaningless. It’s just another word people throw around to make you feel safe and wanted. But trusting someone comes at a high price, especially when it’s your heart you’re playing with.

I can still hear the faint sounds of my heart breaking, still feel the sting of it being torn from my chest, still feel the pain of the emptiness it left.

Descriptive aren’t I?

Well, I’m giving you all the details you’ll ever need so it doesn’t have to happen to you. And hopefully it won’t.

You know, I was one of those people who would watch movies or read books about heartache and betrayal and I would always say to myself, “That’ll never happen to me.”

But it did.

It happened and I never saw it coming. I never thought I would be one of those people I read about or saw on the TV screen. I never thought I would go through that kind of heartache. I never thought being in love could hurt so much.

Love.

There’s a word I thought I understood. There’s a word I thought I could rely on. I thought that if I had love I was untouchable, that Hurt would never be able to harm me, that it would never how its face, cause I had love to protect me. How wrong I was.

You see, love is a two-sided coin. On one side you’ve got love and happiness and warmth and safety and all that other crap that makes you feel special, but when you flip the coin over it’s a whole different story.

When you flip the coin you’re faced with hate, betrayal, hurt, pain.....I could go on all day.

You get a taste of the good side, you taste the love, feel the happiness and you start to lose yourself in the warm glow of it all. But it’s only for a little while. Just enough time to give you a false sense of security.

Then BAM!

The coin flips on you and everything you thought was real turns out to be a whole load of crap. The love you tasted has gone sour, the happiness you felt has turned into Cactus pricks sticking in your skin and the warm glow you lost yourself in? That turns out to be the fires of Hell turned down low.

Cause this two-sided coin is really one sided.

Love and Hate.

They go together hand in hand. They are the ultimate lovers. They are playing tricks on us all. They send their minions out to us, yeah that’s right, you know all the happiness and the warmth you feel? They’re just Loves minions sent out to make us drop our guard.

They eat away at the shield you’ve put up around yourself, they eat till there’s nothing left of it. That’s when Hate sends his followers in and they eat away at you.

And what do Love and Hate get? They get the best part of you.

They get your heart.

And that’s how you end up empty. Love and Hate have taken every possible emotion from you and they leave you empty.

Just like they’ve left me empty. They’ve been working on me for years, and now they’ve finally won. They’ve got what they came for and now they’ve upped and left.

I’m going off the subject a bit here aren’t I?

Sorry. You just tend to get side tracked when you’re empty. And I just wanted to fill you in on my philosophes about how Love and Hate work, cause like I said, they’ve been working on me for years. And they’ve won. They’ve got my heart.

You want to know how they took it?

Well, I’ll tell you how, they let me walk in on my boyfriend fucking the guy he’s supposed to hate. And it wasn’t just normal sex either. No, when Love and Hate want your heart they go all out. It was kinky sex. I’m talking whips, ‘cuffs, nipple clamps, the whole nine yards.

And I walked in just in time to see Hunter pounding into Jay’s ass, in time to see Jay writhe under neath him, his nipples clamped, his mouth filled with a ball gag and a look of pure bliss on his face. I stood watching this happen, watching the look of ecstasy that spread across Jay’s face as Hunter worked on his cock. The look of pleasure as Hunter brought him to climax, before climaxing himself.

I stared in shock as Hunter pulled himself out of Jay and kissed his forehead, never looking at the door, I watched as he removed the ball gag, the nipple clamps and the handcuffs that Jay had on and I heard him tell Jay he loved him. I watched as Jay moved to hug Hunter then kiss him deeply before telling him he loved him too. That’s when he looked over Hunter’s shoulders and locked eyes with me, giving me a smile.

That’s when Love and Hate took my heart.

When he smiled at me, when he looked me in the eye and smiled at me.

Now I’m sitting up here on the roof going over the last few hours in my head. I’m sitting on the ledge of the roof top looking over the city we’re in. Thinking about how empty I feel.

Empty.

Nothing left, nothing to hold on to. Just empty. I don’t want to feel empty anymore. I don’t want to feel anymore.

So that’s my story. That’s how my heart was broken. And now? Now, I’m going to make sure I never feel empty again, cause I can’t take it.

I, Adam Copeland, will never feel lonely again. Thank you for listening, but I’ve got to go now.

Goodbye.

*~* THE END *~*

Feedback    Back to Deb´s Storys     Back Home