Ī Please Tell Me Ī by MattMel

I smiled at my thought, God how I love Chris. I could still remember our wonderful wedding. It was like I thought it would be back when I was a small child and looked to the photos of my parents wedding. Ok apart from the fact I didn't wore a white dress Chris doesn't wore one either, nevertheless it was beautiful. It was a sunny day and I know my mother looked down from heaven to Chris and me and was happy for us. And of cause my dad. He was there, handed me over to my husband. He was the first one who began crying and the last one who could stop it. In fact I think he cried more this day than he ever has in his whole life. I could see how proud he was of me. I can't even imagine why he reacted the way he had as I told him about Chris, maybe it was just a little to much at that time. Anyway, he is at ease with Chris now. More than that, he often talked about Chris, as his third son and he got along wonderful with Chris parents. I'm so happy everything worked out.

The locker room was empty. All boys were gone by the time I arrived. It was late and Chris fought the last match of the night. After I took a shower, I walked back into the room with only a towel around my waste. I went to my back, looking for my brush. As I finally found it, I started to brush my hair. I heard the door opened, thinking it was Chris
I continued to get my dark curls under control with only little success.

"What a sweet piece of ass." I spun around this was note my Chrisyīs voice. Only an inch apart, with this evil grin of his, stood Chris Benoit.
"God, you scared the shit out of me, Benoit."
"Oh sorry Matt. I didn't mean to." He stepped closer and brushes his fingers over my check.
I backed up. "Benoit what?"
"You're so beautiful Matt," He stood even closer now. "So beautiful."
God what was he thinking? I backed away until my feet hit something behind me. Benoit again stepped closer, then faster than I ever saw anyone move, he pressed his lips to mine, forced my mouth open and rammed his tongue down my throat. I was so shocked! I couldn't fight as he ripped my towel away, leaving me naked before him. Benoit broke the kiss. "You taste delicious, Matt."
I wanted to gag! "Leave me alone!" I screamed and started to fight, but Benoit just slapped hard across the face, so hard that I felt backwards over the bench. He jumped over and sat on my hips.
"Why should I leave you?" He grinned.
"Please let me go." I begged, crying. Knowing what would happen next as Benoit opened his pants to show me his huge, hard cock. He turned me over on my stomach and held me down as he rubbed his cock against me. I cried and
tried to break free but Benoit was so strong.
"Please Benoit, please don't do this. I'm a married man."
"And was does this make you?...untouchable, huh?" He laughed. "I don't think so." With that, he rammed this cock brutal into me. All the power I had left was gone now. The pain was so intense. When I made love to my Little One there was barely any pain at all, but now? As Benoit slammed forceful, brutal into me I felt like I was torn apart. The pain was unbearable. I cried and screamed at him to stop, but he just laughed and continued to rape me.
"Chris please help me!" I screamed for my love, but nobody came. Then everything went black as I passed out.
*************

Scottyīs POV

"Man, that was fun!" I said happy as I held on my love. We, being me, my love Jean Paul, Jeff and Amy, came back from the cinema to catch up with Matt and his husband Chris. We had planned to go clubbing this night. Paul smiled at me and gave me a loving kiss on the cheek. I couldnīt tell how happy I was right then. When I first came into the WWF I was unsure about what would happen to me, but all turned out great. Soon I made friends with Chris Irvine, Matt and Jeff, Amy, Adam and Jason. And of course Jean Paul, I was in love with him the second I stepped into the lokerroom and saw him smiling at me. Fortunately, Paul felt the same and we became one of the happiest couples in the federation. I was brought out of my memories by loud sobbing and screams of pain. I heard the screams and sobs clear down the hallway. We all started to run as we recognized that Matt was the person crying.

As I opened the door of the room, I gasped. There was Chris Benoit kicking a crying, defenceless and naked Matt Hardy. Why is Matt naked I thought? Then I saw the blood and I knew that Benoit had just raped one of my best friends. With Paul at my side, I rushed into the room and began to beat up Benoit. Nobody put hands on my friend. We left Benoit lying in a far corner.

"Amy get the EMTīs here, now!" I yelled at her. I could apologize later for yelling at the moment the crying and shaking Matt was my concern. Jeff pocked his head in the room. "What..."

"Donīt come in, just get Irvine and bring him here, fast Jeff, fast." I cut him off. Then kneeled down next to Matt, who had curled up in a ball. I tried to smooth him, but he jerked away from my touch and cried even harder. He was in such a shock he didnīt realized that Benoit was gone.

After what seemed like eternity, the EMTīs arrived and tried to work on Matt, but he tensed and didnīt let them check him. I stayed at my knees, feeling that I could stand upright anyway, beside him as I felt a hand gently rub my shoulder. I looked up and saw Paul over me. He gave me a small kiss on top of my head.

"Shh Scotty baby shh. It will be alright."

"How could it be alright, Paul?" I asked between sobs. "Matt is one of our best friends we were supposed to be here and help him not to be at the cinema having fun while Matt got raped."

"Scotty, we had no chance to know that this would happen."

"I know." I cried, by know Paul sat beside me and rocked me like a baby.

*****************

Chris's POV

I looked up to the ramp and saw my brother in law run toward me. Kurt has just thrown me out of the ring, so I tried to climb back in, as I felt Jeff's hand on my arm.

"Jeff what the hell? I'm in a match." I said rather loud. He just continued to pull on my arm.

"It's Matt!" He said simply. That was all I needed to know and I started to run back to the lockers. For the second time here in the WWF I left a match to look after my angel. While running, I thought about Vince. I just hoped he would understand this like he has the last time. I knew all think that Vince is a cold-hearted bastard but that is far away from the truth. Vince is a kind man who really cared about his employees. The last time Vince was very understanding. He said the health of one of his wrestlers is more important than a match and that a match could be rescheduled. They had, Matt was now Intercontinental Champ. Oh God what is with my angel, please God let him be ok. I thought.

As I entered the locker, I saw Scotty crying and being rocked by Paul and I saw the EMTīs, who tried to help someone. Then I realized that this someone was my angel and all was clear to me as I saw Benoit lying in a corner of the room.

I rushed to my angel's side. "My God!" I gasped. Matt was crying, shaking and bleeding. I wanted to comfort him, to show him I was here now and that he would be safe, but he pushed me away with his last bit of strength. It broke my heart to see my angel in this state. I tried again, but as my hand smoothed his hair back he cried out and narrowed his eyes, then he felt into unconsciousness.

I cried so hard it hurts. Why my Matty, Oh God why? I hated myself for not being there for him. Jeff put his hand on my shoulder and I looked up.

"Jeff." I cried.

"Shh Chris shhh. Everything will be fine." He tried to calm me, but I could tell he was at the edge of tears himself.

"Nothing will be fine! I saw his eyes, heīs broken Jeff, something died in him tonight!" As I scream those words, I realized that they are true. Something died in Matt. I just hoped it wasn't the trust he had in my love.

The EMTīs brought my angel out of the room and I lost it. My whole body began to shake as I fainted , the calming darkness surrounding me. My last clear thought was that this had to be a dream, just a nightmare and I would wake up in my bed, in my angel's arms.

***********************

Jeffīs POV

I looked over to my sleeping brother. We were still in the hospital, but we could take Matt home the next afternoon. My poor brother, why he? I was sure I could kill the bastard Benoit with my bare hands, but I thought Chris would do it before I could. Chris, I could only imagine how he felt. Matt is his husband, he loved him more than anything. My brother in law broke down as they took Matt to the hospital.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up. There was my love, my Amy. If it hadnīt been for Matt and Chris I would still believe she was in love with Christian.

"He will be fine."

`Yeahī I thought `there is nothing broken, just some bruises, they will heal in no tome.ī Thatīs what the doctor said. But then there is the mental part.

"God Amy, Matt got raped, how do you think he fell right now. Do you really think he will be fine?" I screamed at her. She looked at me shocked and only then I realized what I had done. Tears went down my face as I stood up and wrapped my arms around her.

"Amy oh God Amy, Iīm sorry. I didnīt mean to scream at you, please Iīm sorry forgive me, please Amy." I cried on her shoulder.

"Hey baby itīs ok I know youīre upset. I love you Jeffy!" She smoothed my colorful hair back.

"I love you too!" I whispered.

**********

Chrisīs POV

I moaned as I felt a cold rag gently whipped over my forehead. Slowly I focused on the soothing words, that were said to me and I fought my way back, out of the darkness.

As I finally opened my eyes, I saw Paul and Scotty. I swear, I never saw more concern and worry on their faces. Again, the birdman gently whipped some sweat off my face.

Suddenly all came back, the match, Jeff bringing me to the locker room, the EMTīs working on my shivering angel.

I fought against the tears, which treated to fall from my eyes.

"Where is Matt?" I asked, my voice only a whisper.

"Still in hospital with Jeff and Amy." Paul said very low.

I couldnīt hold back the tears this time. My body began to shake with the force of my sobs. I sat up.

"I wasnīt there for him!" Paul and Scotty, both, wrapped their arms around me.

"Thatīs bullshit, Chris and you know it." Scotty whispered.

They continued to sooth me and I let them, looking for comfort in their warm, friendly embrace.

"I want to see him." I whispered as my sobs finally stopped. They nodded.

***********

Paul's POV

I drove us to the hospital my lovebird sat in the back an upset Chris in his arms. I wasn't jealous, I loved Scotty and I know Scotty loves me. And poor Chris, all he could think of was his husband.

I tried to make it to the hospital fast and without coming in contact with the police. Fortunately, we made it to the hospital without any problems.

After I parked the car, we rushed into the building and asked where we could find Matt.

"Room 628 use the lift up there." The young woman said friendly.

"Thank you." I smiled at her.

On the way to Matt's room, I thought about what had happened. That sick bastard Benoit! What has Matt ever done to him? Nothing! Why has Benoit used him in that way? I didn't know. Matt is such a lovely man, he always is so unselfish and he cared so much about other people. I really hope that Chris and Matt could work it out. I was shocked when I saw how Matt pushed Chris away, but I think that it was just out of the shock Matt was in. I knew just like everybody else how much Matt loved Chris.

I still remembered Vince coming into the room, screaming like mad for Chris leaving his match, but then he saw Matt and we told him what had happened in the locker room. Vince has fired Benoit on the spot and said that he would make sure Benoit will never step foot in a big promotion again.

**********

Chris's POV

Slowly I opened the door, afraid of what I might find. Jeff and Amy sat beside the bed. My angel was still asleep, but he looked so fragile he was almost as white as the sheets.

"Hey Chris how are you?" My brother in law asked as he and his girlfriend stood up and hugged me.

"I'm fine!" I lied no need for them to worry about me.

"Liar!" Jeff gave me a small smile. I swore with those emerald eyes of his he could look right into my soul.

I sat down next to my angel and took his hand. Please God let him be ok. I prayed

"How is he?" My eyes never leaving the beautiful face of the man I love more than anything.

"Physically Ok, just a few bruises, but..." Jeff said. He didn't say anymore he really didn't need to.

I leaned forward and gave Matt a light kiss on the forehead.

"Please angel fight it!" I whispered my vision blurry through the tears I silently cried.

I don't know for how long we all were in the room until Matt slowly opened his eyes. He looked around in the room fear obviously in his beautiful chocolate brown eyes. Then he realized that I was holding his hand and he screamed and pulled his hand away. I looked at him and saw that he was in panic. I stood up and walked out of the room, I wasn't able to see my angel in this state. I touched the cross on my necklace, thinking about the wonderful Christmas we had. The Christmas where I finally asked my Matty to marry me.

Amy, Paul and Scotty followed me out into the waiting room. It was clear that the only person Matt allowed to be around was his brother. I really like my brother in law but it broke my heart to know that I wasn't able to be at my angel's side.

**************

Jeffīs POV

I rushed to my brother's side too afraid to touch him, so I tried to calm him.

"Shh Matty shh. Itīs ok shh Iīm here shh." He was crying and I had to fight back tears of my own. Be strong for him, he needs you now. I said to myself.

Suddenly Matt sat up right and hugged me tight. I was confused. Why was my brother hugging me and crying on my shoulder, when his husband wasnīt even allowed to hold his hand?

After some moments, I pushed Matt away slightly to look him in his eyes.

"Matty are you ok, does anything hurt you?" He doesnīt answered me, he just looked at me with big innocent but fearful brown eyes.

"Matty baby please tell me if anything hurt you." I tried again. Nothing, he only hugged me tighter and continued to cry. Oh God he could speak anymore. I thought. Benoit had put him is such a shock that he couldn't speak.

I was ready to rip Benoit apart.

We sat there like this for what seemed to be eternity until a doctor came and said that I had to leave the room.

"You will be fine Matty!" I kissed him on the forehead and then left the room.

I found the others waiting in the hall. Chris looked up tears in his eyes, clutching the cross on his necklace. It was Matt Christmas present for him.

"He doesnīt speak." I said as I sat down next to Amy.

"What?" Paul asked confused.

"He doesn't speak. I think it might be the shock."

"Let's go back to the hotel, it's late." My love said and stood up.

Even Chris stood up after a little argument. He couldn't help Matt even if he stayed at the hospital and he desperately needed some sleep. But I was not sure if he could sleep alone in his hotel room.

*********

Chrisīs POV

Over a half year later

I was a wreck. I felt so alone and I felt guilty. Why wasnīt I there to protect my love?

My angel wasnīt better at all he sat across from me in a chair reading one of his books. He didn't still talk.

The only people he could stand being around him were his closest friends, but his brother was the only one, who was allowed to touch him. This ate at me.

After we brought Matt back from the hospital Vince gave me and my husband a long vacation. Over a half year was gone since then. Matt wasnīt able to wrestle and I couldnīt do it either, not with the knowledge that my angel is not able to be with me. I tried it once with the outcome that I nearly killed Paul and myself. After that, I was sure that Vince would fire me but thankfully he didnīt, he gave me some time off.

Today I had to return to the ring, I just hoped I didnīt screw up. I needed my job to be able to take care of my angel.

Benoit has really destroyed our life. I couldnīt sleep in our bedroom anymore, Matt would go hysteric. I slept in the guestroom. Sleep? I hardly ever got any since the day Benoit raped my husband. Each night I had to cry myself to exhaustion , that at least I could get a little bit of sleep. I didnīt know if Matt ever heart me, if he had he never said anything.

I looked at my watch, time to go.

"Hey time to go to the arena, my angel." He looked up and nodded, but didnīt say anything. `What did you expect?ī I asked myself somewhat bitter. My angel, I still call him that. It had annoyed me sometimes when he called me Little One, but now where I didnīt hear it anymore I miss it as much as I miss his gentle touch and loving kiss. God I love him so much.

I drove us to the arena where we would meet withJeff and Amy, Scotty and Paul and Adam and Jay. The way was easy for me to find, because of the endless nights I spend in the car, driving around in North Carolina, trying for at least some seconds to forget all about Benoit. It never worked, I couldnīt block out these horrible memories. It was so hard on me I couldnīt even think about what it was like for my angel.

************

Paulīs POV

I looked around the parking lot, waiting for Chris to arrive. I was a bit nervous about the fight today. Chris had trained with us a lot lately, but he wasnīt in the ring since the day he screwed up the hurricanrana on me and nearly killed both of us. I really know it wasnīt his fault. Poor Chris. I didnīt know what I would have done if Benoit would have raped my Scotty.

I was relieved that Vince allowed me to fight with Chris tonight, I hoped that I could help him and that we could put on a good show. Chris was born to be a wrestler, just like Matt was, he loved the business, but he was just a little unfocussed on wrestling right now and who could blame him? No one! Benoit was to blame and we all hoped that he has a horrible time in prison. He was arrested for rape and had to spend 10 years in jail. I hoped he suffered painful for what he had done to that sweetheart Matt.

I was brought out of my thoughts as two strong arms wrapped themselves around my waist and pulled me back against a warm, comfortable body.

"Hey baby come in itīs could here." My love whispered in my ear.

I turned around in Scottys arms and looked deep in his eyes.

"I love you Scotty." He smiled and kissed me.

"I love you too, baby." He kissed me again.

"But now come in, you can wait in the locker room, theyīll find their way."

We kissed again then left for the locker room.

**************

Chrisīs POV

As I parked the car at the arena I looked to my husband. `You love him, do it for him, he needs you now more than ever.ī I thought.

"Ready to go" I smiled at him. He nodded and smiled back. I lately realized that Matt smiled more and I really was happy about that. Maybe he would be fine again. Somehow over the last month we had worked out a way of communication with each other.

We walked to our locker room without running into one of our co workers, which was good I didnīt want Matt to get nervous. As soon as I opened the door our friends rushed over, saying hello. My brother in law hugged tight and smiled at me. Then Paul shook my hand and grinned.

"Nice to have you back, Chris."

"Thank you Paul."

"Hey Iīll kick your ass!"

I grinned. "Iīm sure you will."

I was so lucky to have friends like them. If it hadnīt been for them I think I would have lost all hope long ago.

I had just finished changing into my ring closes as the door opened. We all gasped in shock as we saw who stood there. Chris Benoit!

"I thought you were in jail." I said angry. He didnīt answer me he just stared at my husband, who sat on a couch curled up against his brother.

"Hey Matty. You remember what happened in a room just like that?" He grinned. That bastard I looked at Matt, terror was in his eyes and he pressed closer to Jeff.

"What do you want you sick bastard?" I asked as I stepped in front of my love.

"I want my little love toy back."

I was ready to punch this stupid smile from his face.

"Leave this arena before something terrible happens." Scotty screamed.

"What? Something like this..." Benoit said and then faster than I ever saw someone move he stepped closer to me and rammed a knife in my stomach.

A flash of white, hot, intense pain shot through my body and I broke down on my knees, pressing my hands on the wound in my tummy. I saw how Adam, Paul and Scotty held down Benoit and Jay ran of to get the EMTīs and Security.

Turning my head I looked at my angel and whispered.

"I love you Matthew Irvine!" Then I broke down.

I didnīt know if it was just my imagination, but I heart somebody screaming"NO!" and it was a voice I thought I would never ever hear again. Complete darkness came over me then.

**********
Mattīs POV

Finally, I was able to speak again. All the way to the hospital I spoke, about what had happened to me, about Chris and how much I love him and that I couldnīt stand to lose him, now that I could talk to him again.

Jeff wasnīt angry that I talked so much he smiled and said that Chris would be fine, that he is a fighter and that he would not allow Benoit to destroy our live more than he already had.

I looked down at my Little One, he was out of the ER and soon to wake up, at least thatīs what the docs had said. They also said Chris had lost a lot of blood and it was good for him to get to the hospital so quick. He could have been dead. But he was alive, sleeping peaceful. I was holding his hand, whispering soft words of comfort to him. God he was so beautiful, how could I keep myself from touching him? It was so long ago since I touched his satin like skin and played with his silky hair.

Chris started to wake up and I smiled everything would be ok.

I pushed some of his golden hair behind his ear and he turned his head into my touch. My smile became wider and I caressed his face with my hand.

"Matty, angel?" Chris whispered.

"Yeah my Little One Iīm here youīre safe now." He sure didnīt expected to hear me because his eyes shoot open in shock showing bright, beautiful blue eyes.

"Matt?" He asked his voice still low.

"Yeah itīs me, my Little One." I smiled. "Does anything hurt you?"

He didnīt answered. "Matty you...you touch me, angel...and you speak to me." It was no statement, or whatsoever, it was a question. I smiled again and gave Chris a small kiss on the forehead.

"Yes my love!"

"But why..." He was confused and I couldnīt blame him, even I was still confused. I thought that maybe the shock of nearly loosing my Little One has brought me out of my world of pain and misery.

"I donīt know. Since the night Benoit raped me I was locked in a little world of hurt and shame." I swallowed. It was very hard for me to talk about this horrible night.

"Oh angel it was not your fault, donīt be ashamed."

"I know but, still, every time somebody was near me I saw Benoit and I became so scared that I would going to be raped again."

Chris had tears in his eyes and only then did I realize that I was crying myself.

"Oh God all the time I just wanted to lay in your strong, protective arms, But I couldnīt forget the memories of Benoit putting his hands on me came back to me and they were so painful. And the nights,...Little One I heart you crying every night and believe me I cried with you. All I wanted to do was come to you, talk to you, comfort you, but I couldnīt. I tried to speak but no sounds came over my lips. Chris please believe me I still love you more than anything."

"God angel I love you too. I will love you forever no matter what."

**********

Chrisīs POV

I held my arms out for my love just to touch him again. He surprised the hell out of me by hugging me carefully. He laid his head on my shoulder and sighed deeply.

"I love you Little One."

"Mmm angel you donīt know how much I missed you and my cut nickname."

I know just as much as I missed you." My angel whispered, his warm breath caressed my throat.

We lay there like this forever, until Jeff busted into the room.

"Hey I thing I gave you two lovebirds enough time." He grinned. Then he looked at me surprised.

"Chris donīt tell me he hadnīt talked you into a coma īcuz on the way he nearly killed me with all his talking, my ears still hurt like hell."

Matt laughed, it was such a wonderful sound.

"Ok we have to go now. The docs said that Chris needed rest and if he is a good boy we could take him home in two or three days." Jeff smiled at his brother.

"Ok I love you Little One." Matt got up and gave me a gentle, loving kiss on my lips. With that little gesture my angel expressed more trust and love than any words could tell. I smiled and apart from my hurting stomach I was the happiest man on the face of this world. Everything would be fine again.

I watched as the two left the room then laid back. The docs were right I needed rest. I smiled again and thought of my angel then I felt asleep.

**********

Jeffīs POV

Life was finally back on track. My brother was alive again, he talked, laughed and wrestled.I even caught him and his husband making out hot in the locker room. Chris too was able to wrestle again, Benoit hadnīt hurt him to bad. He was out of hospital three days after Benoit stabbed him and after another month, he was able to start fighting for the WWF again.

I was at Mattīs and Chrisīs house along with all our other friends, preparing the birthday Party for Chris. My brother was in the kitchen with me, while the others were decorating the living room.

"Jeff?" Matt asked a little shy.

"Whatīs up bro?" I smiled at him.He was so beautiful, wearing black baggy jeans and a deep purple velvet shirt, so tight that it showed off his well muscled chest and strong shoulders. His dark hair felt like silk down his shoulders and around his face.

"You know itīs been over a year since..." He said and I cut him off.

"I know Matty I know."

"Yeah anyway itīs also been over a year since I had sex with Chris."

Ups this would be a hard conversation.

"Matt what is it? You know that your husband loves you no matter what. And love isnīt all about sex!" Coming from me that sound rather funny, but Iīm not like all the others think I am! Iīm really a shy guy if it comes to sex. Well with Amy thatīs different but anyway.

"I know Jeff but itīs not that I feel I had to give Chris something, itīs more that I need to feel him again. I love him so much and I want to feel him like I used to feel him before that night." Matt held his head in his hands. I know what his problem was, but I had to ask anyway.

"So whatīs the problem?" I asked as I put my arm around his shoulder. It was still hard for him to think about what had happened over a year ago.

"Iīm the problem Jeff! What is if all the memories came crashing down on me again? What is when we start something and then I punch him away? He would not love me after that anymore." I saw tears in Mattīs eyes.

"Matt! What are you talking about? Chris loves you, heīs your husband. Do you remember what you said to each other at your wedding? You told each other that you will love and respect each other as long as you live! Chris loves you and I know that he would respect your decision no matter what. He has waited so long Iīm sure he could wait some more. Whatever youīll do you will still have his love and my support." I gave him my award winning smile and he smiled back.

"Thank you Jeff."

"Welcome and now, Matthew Moore Irvine, go give the birthday boy a kiss."

He laughed. "Yes Moma!"

I watched him go into the living room and he did as I told him, he gave his husband a loving kiss.

*************

Chrisīs POV

That was a wonderful birthday party. We all had a lot of fun. We laughed and talked about the funny sides of our lives. My husband has laughed too but I noticed that he was a little distant and I was about to ask him when he stepped into our bedroom. What I saw took my breath away. In the doorway stood my angel the dim light gave his beautiful body and amber shine, his hair was wet from the shower he took and clung against his face and shoulders. His skin sparkled with drops of water. My eyes followed one drop as it went down from his collarbone over his smooth muscled chest until it stopped at the waistband of his black silk boxers, which looked so good, so sexy on him.

I couldnīt get my eyes off of him so I was still staring as he walked over to our bed on which I sat.

"What are you doing Little One?" He grinned.

"Looking at you! Do you know how beautiful and sexy you are?" I looked up into his deep brown eyes.

"I hoped I would be!" In his eyes I saw a fire that I hadnīt seen in a long time. Could it be that he wanted me, could it be that he wanted me to make love to him? I felt my cock harden slowly at that thought.I needed him so badly he doesnīt even had to touch me. I was brought out of my thoughts as my angel gently put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me down on the bed.

I let myself go as he kissed me deep and settled on top of me. The kiss was so sweet and loving. It was as if I learned all about Matt new again. His satin like skin, his silky hair.

His velvety tongue playing with mine, his soft hands caressing my body, it was so intense I was hard one second.

" Matty, Angel." I moaned.

Matt looked into my eyes and whispered."I need to feel you Little One, please make love to me."

I was so happy and aroused, Matt wanted me to make love to him again. I know I had to be careful but it was a start and I know I was able to really made gentle love to him.

I tightened my arms around his neck and pulled him down again and before our lips met in a hot sensual kiss I whispered. "Iīd love to my angel."

Our kiss was long and full of passion. Mattīs hands slid down on my sides slowly hardly touching my T-Shirt cald body. He placed his fingers under my shirt then with agonizing slowness he pushed it up over my chest, his slightly cold fingers cooling my hot skin pleasantly.

*************

Mattīs POV

God I was so nervous, but I wanted this. I needed him!

My hands were shaking as I slowly pushed up the shirt off my Little Ones perfect body. Chris moaned as my cold fingers brushed at his hot skin. I smiled down at him then gave him a sweet kiss.

"Help me out here a little bit, Little One." I whispered and took off his shirt as my love sat up. I threw the shirt to the side and my love was about to say something, but as my fingers began to play with his nippels all that came from Chris was a breahy moan of my name and he laid back.

I kiss my way down from his mouth over his strong jaw along his throat over his collarbone to his nippels.

"Oh Good Angel." My Little One moanded as I licked and sucked at him. This felt so good. He felt so good. I felt so good. Chris caressed my back with his soft warm hands.

After I had both of his little buds turned into erectness I moved my mouth downwarts, placing wet, nibling kisses all over Chrisīs belly. As I swirled my Toungh around into his belly button, his hips rose from the bed and his hard cock pushed at my stomach. Even though I loved feeling his hard manhood on my body I pushed him down with my hands.

"Patience my love!" I smiled at him.

"Mmm Matty Angel." Chris moaned. I know it was hard for him to speak as I kissed further down along the fine trail of soft, light hair to the waistband of his boxers. Speaking became even harder for him as I push his by now too tight boxers down and placed little, featherlike kisses all over his beautiful cock.

I began to lick and suck his mannhood and soon had my love reduced to incohent babbling ans sensual moans and groans of plesure. His cock was throbbing and drops of pre cum flowed from it as I sucked and played with it.

"Mmm Angel stop it, Matty stop it now." Chris moaned. I stoped and looked up at him.

"Do you really want me to stop?" I asked , grinning, knowing what was on his mind.

"Yeah Angel stop it. I want to plesure you!" His hands strocked over my chest, then down over my boxers. I moaned, I needed to get out of them so badly.

"Lay back and enjoy this my love." Chris whispered then pushed me down opn the bed. Without warning he pulled down my boxers and began to lick and suck at my cock. Now it was me who only could moan and groan with burning desire. Chris long, silk like hair fell over his face, brushed and trickled my tights as he sucked on me more force fully, but still it was the gentlest touch that I ever felt on my body.

"Mmm Little One that feels so nice." I pushed my hands in my loves blond hair.

By now Chris has my deep down his throat and was swollowing. It was so wonderful, his mucsles working my cock. I felt that I would reach my peak at any second if he kept up that wonderful treatment.

I moaned feeling my Little Ones hands all over my body, on my hips, my belly, playing with my nippels.

"God Chris that feels so good, mmm I love you Little One." My love said something, which sounded like I love you too, but with his mouth around my cock no real sound came out, but he send sensual vibrations thru my manhood and all thru my body.

Chris reached into the bedside table and got out the lube.Without looking up or stopping to suck me, he put some lube on his fingers and gently teased my opening, just nudgeing a little bit.

Then he stoped sucking me and crawled up my body, kissing my, one hand still stroking my cock the other still caressing my entrance.

"Are you ready Angel?" Chris looked deep into my eys and I could see his love for me in his shiney blue eyes.

I nodded. "Yes my Little One Iīm ready. I love you and I need you."

"I love you too." Chris put some more lube onto his fingers then kissed me again.

I moaned as my love slowly and gently pushed one finger into me.

*************************

Chrisīs POV

As I pushed my finger slowly and carefully into my Angel I heard him moan.

Then suddendly he tensed up, his beautiful face a mask of pain and fear. I stopped dead in my tracks, God what is with him?

"STOP!" My love screamed. Oh God no I hurt him. I pulled my finger out of him fast but careful. "Please stop I beg you Benoit please stop." My love was crying now, he has curled up into a tight ball.

"Oh God my poor Angel please, please stop crying." I tried to comfort him by hugging him to my chest. But it didnīt work and he sobbed even harder.

"Stop Benoit stop leave me alone." I was crying with him as I heard his pleas.

"Matty Itīs me Chris Iīm not Benoit, Matty Angel itīs me."

At first he didnīt react to my words and to my gentle touch, but then he looked up in my eyes.

"CHRIS!" He screamed and threw himself on me, crying hysterically now.

"Shhh Matty shhh itīs ok Iīm here for you, shh." I tried to calm him, but he only cried harder. Between his wild sobbing I could barely hear his franatic words.

"Chris, Iīm sorry, donīt leave me now, Iīm sorry, but I canīt do this, Iīm sorry please. Chris I love you, donīt leave me, please Iīm sorry forgive me, please I love you Chris. Chris donīt hate me now please donīt leave me, Chris I love you Iīm sorry Chris."

My heart broke, hearing him say those things. I pulled him tighter to my body and tried to control my tears, before I spoke to him. At first just words of comfort to get his attention and to make sure that he understands, that I will never leave him over this.

"Matty Angel I wonīt leave you! I love you too much to let you alone now that you need me the most. Shh Angel Iīm here shh, Matt shh."

After a while, his sobbing reduced to a sniffling sound and Matt lay against me. I made him look into my eyes.

"Matt THIS. IS. NOT. YOUR. FAULT!!! Matty I can understand you and I would never force you to do something that you donīt want. I love you Angel, Iīll give you all the time you need. Weīre married, Matt, weīll grow old together, we have all the time in the world. I can wait Matty.

Itīs true that I wanted you for a long time now, but I know that I couldnīt have you until you are feeling better. I can live with that Matt and do you know why? Because I love you more than anything in the world!

Itīs true that I wanted sex with you tonight and I know You wanted that just as much, but if you re not ready then we will wait."

"But Chris it could be years till I be able to have sex with you again."

"Matt, what are you thinking? Sex is more important than your feelings? NO! Matt I love you. I want you not the sex! I love you Angel." I said as I laid my love down, held him tight in my arms and put the covers around us.

"I love you Matt!"

Matt cried again, but pressed closer to me.

"Please Chris donīt leave me." My Angel whispered.

"Never Angel. I would never leave you." I smiled and gave him a loving kiss, which he returned with the same love I felt.

"I love you Chris. Thank you" Matt said already closing his eyes, all the crying had worked him up.

"I love you too and no need to thank me, thatīs what Iīm there for." I whispered then closed my eyes and fall asleep after my husband, my Matty, my angel, my love. But before Iīm in the land of dreams I thought that being in this bed with the man I love is as close to heaven as Iīll ever get. I donīt need anything when I have my Matty sleeping peacefully curled up against my body. He is all I need, he made me feel complete. The knowledge that I love him and he loves me just as much is enough for me. I only need my Angel, nothing more.

*~*THE END*~*