"Out of Nothing at All"
By Raising Kane
Disclaimer: I imply nothing about the sexual orientation, religious beliefs, etc. of any of the characters. This is simply a work of fiction produced by my twisted and adventurous mind. None of these events occurred though we can always hope... The song isn't mine...it belongs to Air Supply or Jim Steinman (I'm not quite sure)...just not me.
Part/Series: None and it won't be one either. :P
Distribution: Shadows of the Moon, anyone else...if you really want it... just ask first please.
Rating: PG-13?
Characters: Hunter/Shawn, mentions of misc. people.
Content: M/M relationships, mentions of violence, angst, language
Author's Note: ***Spoiler Alert*** Contains references to the events of the Raw from 05/22/06 (OBVIOUSLY) so if you haven't seen it yet, this is fair warning.
Song: 'Making Love Out of Nothing at All' by Air Supply.
Dedication: I did NOT want to write this fic. God help me, I didn’t. Pen...this is ALL your fault darn it.
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Damn you, Shawn. How the hell do you do this to me? Just when I thought I was free of 'US' you draw me back in just by being you. We've run the complete gamut...starting out as friends, then we became lovers, and then because of my infernal jealousy we became enemies. Like, love, hate...we've been through them all. After that last big battle between us the hate just fizzled out. I was tired of fighting...I wanted numbness...nothing. And I thought we were finally at the point where we were nothing to each other...nothing at all. But tonight you proved me wrong once again. How do you do it? How do you make me feel these things?
I know just how to whisper, and I know just how to cry We were as close as two people could be. I knew everything about you...your strengths and your weaknesses. I had dreams of us reaching the top together and then you had to leave for your surgery. I supported you through the whole thing because I loved you as a friend and not long after that our relationship changed to that of lovers. There was nothing I wouldn't have done for you...I loved you that much. But then you came back. And once again you were the Showstoppa, the Icon, the Sexy Boy. All eyes were on you. You were once again the consummate star of the show. I should have been proud to see you back from a career ending injury. I should have been happy to have you on the road with me again. I should have supported you fully because I loved you... But I didn't... Instead I was consumed by seething jealousy. You came back and the spotlight was yours just as it had always been. Hell all you had to do was walk on that stage and the fans were falling at your feet hailing the great HBK. You took the one thing from me that I had...besides you. And I couldn’t stand it. Yeah it was petty, but once I took action it was too late. Too many lies, too much manipulation. You found out the truth and it was all over. We hated each other then...or rather I hated you for not understanding my selfish reasons. They say that there is a thin line between love and hate and our fights proved that. Our hatred was just as deep and fierce as our lovemaking had been. Then just like that it was over. Gone. Nothing at all. Or so I thought... Until tonight.
And I know the night is fading, and I know that time's gonna fly You were the one that taught me to know all the rules of a game before I tried to play it...long before I ever became 'The Game'. I have money and fame among the fans now. They know who Hunter Hearst Helmsley is. I'm the master of politicking in the back...how do you think I've held the title as many times as I have? I've kissed Vince's ass more than anyone else in the company...not literally. I'm not that desperate. I get what I want by doing what he asks of me. And that's just what I planned to do when I went out to the ring. I would have hit you with that sledgehammer because you were nothing to me...nothing at all. But I was wrong. I could try to excuse it by saying I was protecting my gimmick. That if someone was going to hurt you that I wanted it to be me instead of some snot-nosed kid, but it would be a lie. I waited for you to duck last week because I knew you would. The thought of actually hitting you made me feel sick to my stomach. WHY??? It should have been easy. It wasn't. So this week I was going to do it...I was. But something just snapped inside of me when he threatened you. When I was there in the ring I finally had to admit it...it's been building for a long time.
But I don't know how to leave you
(Making love) out of nothing at all See I thought when I put you through that windshield that I was really leaving you. But it's not truly possible. I thought that it had worked for awhile. Damn it! We beat the hell out of each other during our feud and I thought I was free of the gentler emotions where you were concerned...but you get yourself into these situations and I want to come running to your rescue. We were getting ready to shake hands to end the feud and I thought...this is it. We're not friends anymore, we're not lovers, and we're not enemies. It's over. We're nothing to each other...nothing at all. And then the resident evil monster, Kane, came out and attacked you. And I did nothing to help you. I actually applauded myself on not helping him. We were nothing. Until that chair snapped down on your neck. I flinched. I wanted to hurt Kane right at that moment...wanted to make him bleed...because he'd hurt you. And I almost did it. God knows how I stopped myself because I don't know. I told myself that it was an aberration. I told myself that I would have felt pity for anyone in that situation. But deep down inside I knew it was more than that. I forced myself to block it out...convinced myself that we were still nothing at all. The next time I felt it was when you started the feud with Edge. I wanted to tell you to run as fast as you could the other way, but I didn't. Because we were nothing to each other then. Then you took the briefcase shot in a match with him. The sound of the metal bouncing off your head made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to hurt him because I knew that it had really hurt you. And again I convinced myself that it wasn't you specifically that I felt sorry for. I told myself it was the thought of that psycho running around backstage that made me want to take him out. I told myself that it could be me next time and I should put a stop to it before it became an issue. I added to his bruises that night. He didn't know it was me...I waited until he was somewhere dark and secluded. And then I hurt him. But I didn't do it because of you. I didn't. Because we were nothing at all. Then you got involved in this holy war with Vince... Another psycho with an ax to grind...
Every time I see you all the rays of the sun are streaming through the waves in your hair I tried to ignore it. But Vince couldn't leave things alone. He wanted to use me to hurt you. And I was going to do it because of what it could get me. I was going to hurt you again to get what I wanted. I would have done it too because it's always been about me...and you and me...we were nothing at all. But when it comes down to it, it's always been you and me against Vince. Taking his side just didn't feel...right...way down deep inside. When he first approached me I was just going to do it...not think about it. Then when I stood face to face with you with Shane holding you...that's when I felt that little niggle again. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. The lights caught just right in the highlights of your mussed hair. My eyes locked with yours. And in that moment I panicked. There in your eyes was that look. That special look. You still cared. How? Why? You should hate me for the things I've done...what I was willing to do now. But instead deep in your eyes I saw that love that you and I shared so long ago. I don't even know if you know it was there. Maybe it was all my imagination. Maybe deep down inside I wanted it to be true. All I knew was that I couldn't hit you because I wanted that feeling back... And that scared the hell out of me. So I didn't do it. I warned you...told you to look at me. I told you that I wanted you to see it coming. And you did exactly what I knew you would...you ducked. I hit Shane instead... And tossed away what I'd thought that I wanted. Another shot at the title. I gave it up for you. I made like I was sorry...I'm not stupid and I'll always play the game when I can. I was hoping it was enough to get Vince to agree to what I wanted. But he did it again... made me face you in the ring with that sledgehammer. All week I'd argued with myself that I was going to do it. That what I'd seen was my imagination. I did not still love you. But as soon as I saw you...being held up by those idiots...there was that look in your eyes, again. Damn you. How do you do this to me? Vince thinks I hit the twerp because he touched my precious sledgehammer. He thinks that because that's what I told him, but it couldn't be farther from the truth.
I can make the run or stumble, I can make the final block I did it because I couldn't stand by and watch him hurt you. It finally nailed me right between the eyes when I hit him... I was protecting you. Stopping you from being hurt. I could have had that shot at the title. I could have taken it and become the champion again. I could have stood in the spotlight and listened to the roars of the crowd, boos or cheers it doesn't matter, and I could have headlined arenas through another title reign. I gave it all up because I fucking love you. I want it to be 'us' again. I want to make all those promises to you again...all the ones I broke and this time I swear I'll keep them. It will be you and me against the world just as it was meant to be. I'll confront all the demons with you... be it Vince, Edge, Kane or just the loneliness that you face every single night. You have no clue how hard it was for me to walk away from you lying there in the ring tonight. But it was what I had to do. I couldn't let them see... not yet. It has to be the right moment. I want them to face the power of us... If you take me back...
But I'm never gonna make it without you And I hope to god that you will because I've finally faced the facts. I can't face this life without you. The title means nothing if you aren't by my side. I need you in my life...I need you to be mine again. I'll do whatever it takes. I'll crawl if you want me to... I won't like it, but I'll do it. But before there can even be a chance of that happening I have to find you...and tell you. It will be one of the hardest things that I've ever done. Admitting that I'm wrong has never been easy for me, but that's what I have to do if I expect you to give me a chance. I don't even know where to start and I'm sure I won't get it all out...all of these things that I'm feeling. But maybe I can say enough to convince you to give me another chance and then I can prove all of those things without words. But before I can even get that far I have to find you. I'm pretty sure from the looks of things that I'll find you with the trainers. Those little bastards better hope they didn't do any permanent damage to your knee or I'll take them out one by one. They'll never even see it coming. And Vince...? He won't have a clue what I'm up to until it's too late.
(Making love) out of nothing at all There you are...sitting on the table in the trainer's office. Even in pain, sweaty, and mussed you look just as beautiful as you always have and I want nothing more than to take you in my arms and love you. Is that how you do it? It can't be that easy. You look up at me right at that moment and everything that I want to say to you gets lodged in my throat. The only word that can make it past my lips is your name and it comes out in a strangled whimper. I'm hoping that everything I'm feeling is showing in my eyes. And it must be... Without hesitation you open your arms and say my name and I can feel it radiating from you in waves... The love that you still have for me. Your love...and maybe that's how you do it... Making love out of nothing at all.
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