"After Passion"

By Raising Kane

Disclaimer: I'd love to own them both. Oh the fun I could have! Unfortunately it's never gonna happen. I imply nothing about the sexual orientation, religious beliefs, etc. of any of the characters. This is simply a work of fiction produced by my twisted and adventurous mind.
Distribution: If you really want it... just ask first please.
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Edge (Adam Copeland), Chris Jericho
Mentions of: Christian (Jay/Jason Reso), David Bautista, Hunter, Randy Orton
Content: M/M Relationships, language, sex, angst
Notes: My mind absolutely refuses to let me call him Edge, except in the wrestling setting. So he's eternally Adam otherwise. In my pretty little world, none of the guys are married unless so noted. It's fiction; I'm allowed to do that. :D References to WWE story lines from Goldberg's stint with the company (around May 2003) until the present are possible.

*Chris's POV* Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! I slept with Adam. No. Wait. The sleeping with him part isn't the problem. The problem is where I had sex with Adam. I had mind-blowing, life-changing, extremely hot sex with Adam, my best friend. Therein lies the heart of the problem, him being my best friend. Only right now, with him still lying in my arms, I can't consider him just my best friend. I'd call him my lover, but that brings up the question of love. Love? Do I… love Adam? Panic! Take it easy Chris. Breathe in. Breathe out. I can't do this right now. I carefully slide out of bed and quietly scramble into my clothes. I grab my bag and sneak out the door with the intention of going to my room. Oh hell! Someone, namely me, was so busy being distracted by Adam's ass last night that he never got a room. We've got a new plan. Settle down, get a room, then think about this. **** Damn desk clerks! Like I give a shit if her computer isn't working properly. I've got way more important things to worry about right now. Good thing she found me a room when she did. I was damn close to having a tantrum in the lobby. Vince would have loved that. So I finally get to the room and drop my luggage on the floor. I need to put it away later, but for right now I need a bubble bath. What? So I like bubble baths, is there something wrong with that? **** So now that I'm sitting in this nice relaxing bath, maybe I can thing about things rationally. There's a word you don't hear applied to me very often, but that's beside the point. So what do I sort out first? Adam? That nasty "L" word? Or do I start with the reason I'm really freaking out about this whole situation? That means revisiting my last relationship, the reason I swore off love, lovers, and anything to do with relationships about 6 months ago. If I want to figure out what to do about Adam, I guess I have to start with what happened with Hunter. I really don't want to do this. Better get it over with I guess. Time for a history lesson. **** Hunter and I were together for almost a year. Funny thing is, hardly anyone knows about it. If they do know about it, they have no clue how long it was going on. It started out as a very drunken one-night stand. I left the next morning before he woke up. We didn't speak so much as a word to each other until the following week. He approached me as I was leaving the arena and he asked me to come back to his room with him. I have never been into groupies, so it'd been awhile since I'd had anything resembling a regular sex life. I am a guy though, so glad you noticed. So I figure what the hell. A night here. A night there. No big deal. Except he came to me more often. One night the first week turned into three nights the second week. By the end of the third week we were together every night we were on the road. Even though we kept separate rooms, we ended up in one room at night's end. Whoever slept over was usually gone in the morning before the other awoke. There were no professions of love. There weren't even really what you'd call conversations, unless you consider "Oh yes!" and "Harder!" parts of a conversation. One night about two months into this "thing", whatever it was, I decided I was too tired and sore for company so I simply stayed in my room that night. He came knocking on the door, but I didn't bother answering it. He finally gave up and I went to sleep. The next day at the arena, Hunter stormed into my locker room. I could tell he was pissed off about something, but what came out of his mouth shocked me. "Where the hell were you last night?" "Excuse me? I was tired, and I didn't feel like having sex, so I went to sleep in my room by myself. Is that a problem?" "Don't you think letting your lover know that would have been a nice thing to do, instead of letting me wonder where you were all night?" My jaw just about hit the floor. Lover? There were a few terms I would have used to describe our "relationship"… we had sex, fucked, broke in the sheets, cheated on our hands for the night, held congress, copulated, fornicated, shagged, screwed, did the nasty… I could go on. Lovers? That's one word I'd never thought to consider applying to us. Shouldn't you actually, I don't know, talk to each other once in awhile if you are lovers? I mean just the word itself implies a level of intimacy that was nowhere present in our "relationship". "Are you?" "Am I what?" Obviously I had waited too long to ask. "My lover." I know that came out sounding like I was choking on something. "I thought so. We see each other every night." "We have sex every night Hunter. It's not like we have meaningful conversations. It's not like we actually talked about being… exclusive or anything either." "Is there someone else you are having sex with?" "No, Hunter. I was just pointing out that we've never talked about it." "I, uh, haven't been with anyone else since that first night with you. I guess I assumed you knew what I wanted." "So that's what you want? To be together, as lovers? Kind of like, boyfriends?" It was like pulling teeth. "Yeah. If that's what you want?" "Sure." What in the hell was I thinking? "If that's what you want it to be, there has to be more than just sex. We have to talk to each other, like on a regular basis. We could eat together sometimes too." "Okay. I can do that. So, do you want to grab dinner tonight or something?" Hunter and I officially started "dating" that night. We still kept separate rooms, but stayed in one together. There was no rushing out the door in the morning, unless our schedule required it. We actually managed to talk to each other. Hell, we even cuddled sometimes. It was kind of weird though, neither one of us told anyone that we were together. We'd admitted to caring about each other. Hell I'd even tossed the "L" word around in my head, but for some reason I never spoke it. Around 6 months from our first night together, things changed between us again, this time for the worse. **** The hot water started to loosen me up, but thinking about Hunter has me tensed right up again. Water is getting cold. I'm not quite a prune yet, so I'll add more hot water while I think about where things went wrong. **** It started out subtly. At first, Hunter started staying after the show. He said he needed to discuss story-line stuff with the rest of Evolution at Vince's request. I didn’t think much of it at the time. Then he started picking arguments over stupid little things like what we were going to eat or which movie we should watch. I thought that maybe it was stress from where things were going at the time in the company. I thought that he was still pissed off over having to job the title to Goldberg. Lord knows I wasn't any happier over it than he was. He was due to get the title back in a couple of weeks and I hoped that would finally help improve his mood swings. Instead of helping our relationship, him getting the title back just made things worse. He stayed longer and the fights escalated. He started ripping on things I'd done in the ring. At nine and a half months, we had spent a few nights apart after fighting. One of those nights I decided to go back to his room so I could try to talk to him. I let myself in with my key and walked in on the sight of Hunter fucking Randy Orton. There was a knockdown drag-out fight between Randy and I. Then I let loose on Hunter while Randy crawled out the door. By the time it was over the room looked as if it had been ransacked. Hunter swore it was the first time it had happened, it didn't mean anything, it was just sex, and he was upset because we were fighting. He had all kinds of excuses and stupid me let him talk me into forgiving him. He told me he'd have nothing to do with Randy outside of what work required. He sucked up to me for a week. It was kind of nice having him at my feet. I was holding out on sex too. Like I was just going to fall back in his bed. Yeah, right. I finally confided in Jay all about my relationship with Hunter. He thought it was a bad idea to stay with him, but said he'd support me either way. It's good to have friends like Jay. I made him promise to keep it between us though, until I figured out what I wanted to do. Two weeks after the "incident" Randy and Hunter got into an argument backstage. I heard about it from a few of the guys, but no one seemed to know what it was about. That night was one week before Wrestlemania XX. Randy wasn't scheduled for a match at the pay per view. Can't say I blame him for being a bit upset, I mean it is Wrestlemania. I figured the fight was related in some way. I'd find out later that that was exactly what the fight was about. Finally the night of Wrestlemania arrived. Hunter and I had another small argument before the pay per view. We both knew that Hunter had to drop the title to Benoit that night and we both knew Hunter wasn't very happy about it. He'd gone on and on about how Benoit wasn't a credible champion. If I didn't know better I'd have sworn Hunter was smoking something. Benoit is, as he likes to point out, the best technical wrestler in the world today. Okay so maybe not in the world, but damn sure in the WWE. Even I have to admit that. I was happy for Benoit. He'd worked hard for a lot of years to hold that belt. Of course I didn't tell Hunter I was happy about it. Thank god I was working with Jay that night. He kept my mind focused on the match and away from Hunter. When Hunter's match was finished and the pay per view was over we went back to the hotel. I felt bad because I knew how much holding that belt meant to my lover. I didn't feel bad enough to listen to him rage while downing a bottle of tequila. I left the room and stayed with Jay that night. Hunter found me the next day before we left for the arena. He apologized for the way he had been the night before. We went to the arena together and things seemed to be okay at the time. Until after Randy cut his promo on Foley. I'd just ducked back into the arena after "leaving the building" following my match with Matt Hardy. I'd actually driven around the block and right back into the arena parking area. By that time Randy was finished talking and had headed to the back. I was walking towards Hunter so I could talk to him and that's when it happened. Randy reached him first. They were arguing, quietly at first. I walked a bit closer, but waited off to the side. Randy started screaming before too long. "You promised me you'd talk to Vince about getting me better matches. What did I end up with? I didn't have a match last night at all, Hunter. Fucking Wrestlemania and I didn't even make it on Heat. Then you took the credit for this angle with Foley and I find out you had nothing to do with it. Ric pitched the idea to Vince. When I asked Vince about it, he said you kept telling him I wasn't ready. The only reason I let you fuck me was because you said you'd help me with my career, you asshole." "So what? You were a worthless fuck anyway. You weren't good enough to earn a good reference from 'the Game.'" Holy shit Hunter. Ego much? I almost laughed over that. I mean it was kind of worthless since Hunter never got off that night. Orton's next words took any inclination I had to laugh and tossed it out the window. "I can't be any more worthless than your bitch Jericho! Why else would you be fucking me every night for three months while you had him waiting at the hotel for you?" Hunter turned to look over his shoulder at me. I could tell just from looking at him that it was true. "Ah fuck!" Randy hit Hunter with a low blow and I took the chance to get the hell out of there. Nobody said a word to me as I left. They either didn't believe what they'd heard or they were too scared to ask me about it. I felt like I was in a fog and barely remember the drive back to the hotel. Hunter had left his bags in my room. When I got there, I set them outside the door. Kinda bitchy of me. I didn't care. Then I proceeded to down every one of those tiny little bottles in the mini-bar. Around bottle #3 I heard someone laughing outside the door and hoped they were going to steal Hunter's luggage. No such luck of course. Someone knocked on the door and I yelled the obligatory 'Leave me the hell alone!' and opened bottle #4. I heard Jay yell through the door that if I felt the need to talk I knew where to find him. I didn't reply. Someone must have picked up Hunter's luggage that night. Maybe it was Hunter, maybe not. I didn't know and didn't give a shit. He must have realized he wasn't welcome, because he never did knock on the door that night. Around the time I hit bottle number #8, I ceased to care. That was also the point where I swore off anything to do with relationships, dating, trust, or that damn "L" word. I started hanging out with Jay more often and actually roomed with him for awhile. The week after the big blow up, Adam came back. Then the three of us were like the damn Three Musketeers or something. I stuck to my resolution for six months. Even with Hunter chasing me at every turn asking for a second chance. Ha! Like that was ever going to happen. For those six months I had nothing to do with anything resembling romantic feelings, including sex, believe it or not. For six months! Then a gorgeous green-eyed blonde ambushed me. I may be Adam's friend, but let's get real here. Who would not want a piece of that ass? I may have sworn off commitment, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to look. I never figured on actually acting on the impulse though. I know that Adam's not the kind of guy to do a one-night stand. I'm also pretty sure he doesn't go around sleeping with his friends as a quick fix when he feels the need for sex. I need to figure out if I can give him anything more than that. If not, I'm going to have to tell him. I don't want to hurt him any more than I possibly have already, so I have to decide soon. **** Now that I've thought back through that entire disaster of a relationship with Hunter, I think I need to do an honest evaluation here. First, we didn't set out with the intention of having a relationship, at least I didn't. When it started, I didn't even consider Hunter to be relationship material. I mean come on. No communication at all for how many weeks? I think Hunter was looking for someone he could fuck on a regular basis without having to do the work. I was the one that told him we needed the touchy-feely stuff if it was going to be a real relationship. Maybe it was too much to ask of him, I mean it is Hunter after all. Second, looking at it honestly, even though I "cared" about him and tossed around the "L" word, I never felt it strong enough to actually say it. Maybe if I actually did l…l…love someone… See I spit it out. Aren't you proud? Anyway, if I actually did feel that way about someone, it would be so much better than what Hunter and I ever had. Especially if that person felt the same way about me. Hunter never honestly loved me, at least in my eyes. Finally, I have to look at the fact that not everyone is a lying cheating bastard. I mean there have to be some decent, honest, reliable guys out there somewhere, right? So if it were some guy I actually trusted… That's the thing with Hunter. Looking back on it I never really trusted him. I always expected him to do something to hurt me. Maybe if I had been able to trust him things would have turned out better. Maybe he wasn't getting something he needed from me because I held part of myself back. That could be why he started looking to Randy, right? Nah! On second thought, he did it because… he's an asshole! I feel so much better now that I've got that figured out. It didn't matter what I did or didn't do because it was going to be a disaster from the start. If I had stuck to my gut instinct I never would have been in a relationship with that prick. I never would have gotten hurt like I did. I wouldn't doubt that Adam could actually love me. That was the reason for my panic this morning you know. I know he didn't mean for me to hear him say it, but I did and at the time it scared the living hell out of me. **** I have to get out of the tub before I shrink away to nothing. While I'm drying off and searching for something to wear, I start to think about Adam and how we became such close friends so fast. I have to smile. Jay is a great friend. He was basically my support system when things went to hell with Hunter. As far as I know he's the only one that knows the whole story of what happened with Hunter and me. Things got a little weird when he started dating Dave. Dave and Hunter are good friends. I was kind of leery about spending any kind of time around Dave, because I didn't want Hunter to show up. So while Dave and Jay went out and did whatever it was they were doing together, wink wink, Adam and I were hanging out together more and more. Adam is just a great person in general. We'd watch movies or go out and party. He's friendly, he's funny, he's a great listener… oh yeah and he's insane. We'll be sitting with a group of people, and he'll start these huge philosophical discussions. Something like, why ostriches have wings if they can't fly or why the trip home from somewhere always seems longer than the trip to get there. Then in the middle of the discussion he just gets up and walks off. It's really funny when people finally notice he's no longer there. And how about that grin he has? I mean you've seen the thing, right? He has like a million teeth in there or something. Sometimes he'll toss off that evil grin that he has, just to make people wonder what he's thinking. Then there is the goofy version. That one is just, well… cute. Shut the hell up! What would you call it? I really should call Jay and see if he has anything for me to do, but I think I'm going to sit here for a bit and figure out what the hell I'm going to do. Where was I? Oh yeah, Adam and I and how we got from point A to point B. So of course during our friendship I've noticed Adam in a more, shall we say 'physical' way? How could anyone not? He's got those long legs, damn things go on for miles. If he were a chick they'd be money in the bank. Of course if he were a chick, I doubt I'd have ended up in bed with him. Then you've got those green eyes of his that you could get lost in. Damn that sounds kind of corny, but seriously, you can almost tell what he's thinking by looking in his eyes, not that I spend a lot of time doing that or anything. Unless of course he doesn't want you to know what he's thinking. After all, I had no clue he thought he was in love with me. Then he's got that long soft blonde hair, incredibly soft. I found that out the night of the bachelor party, but we'll cover that in a minute. He's muscular, but not scarily so. I mean he's not like say… Dave or that freak Steiner. Then there's his ass. Come on I'm a guy, of course I’m going to notice. It's just… really freakin' hot! It looks like it'd fit just right in the palms of your hands. And damn does it! I found that out last night, but we're not quite ready to cover that yet. So now I'm gonna let you in on this whole 'situation' from my side of things. We'll start with the bachelor party… **** So there we are with a couple of drinks in us. I was kind of ticked off that Hunter was there, but he's Dave's friend so we had to invite him. I let Adam tell him about the party. The less contact I have with 'the nose', the better. So quite a few of us are on the dance floor. You should see Adam and Jay when they are dancing side by side. Now they are my best friends, but I have to admit the two of them out there moving their bodies to the music… you can't get much hotter than that. I'll bet you half the guys watching were sporting wood. I know Dave was. If Dave didn't actually love Jay to death, I'd have said his thoughts were somewhere along the line of "threesome, please?" Dave wouldn't do that to Jay though, he's a decent guy, which I figured out once I got to know him. I have to admit I was having a few really kinky thoughts myself, though I wasn't actually going to act on them. I do have some morals, you know. Then the dumbass DJ puts on some of that sappy romantic nonsense. That sent quite a few of us scurrying for our drinks. Jay was teasing everyone. Something about being no fun. I wasn't gonna touch that one. This was romantic music, and you know how I was feeling about romance. So I'd sat my ass down pretty damn quick. Then Adam turns to me and asks me to dance with him. I'm looking for any excuse in the book not to end up on that dance floor. With all my charm, I come up with the winning line of "I can't dance to that kind of shit." So eloquent, aren't I? So then I look to the right and who is headed our way? Hunter. Then I'm thinking "Oh hell, no way am I going to put up with his shit tonight." So I grab Adam's hand and practically drag him onto the dance floor. I could tell he was confused, but thankfully he didn't ask me about it. So there I am, dancing with Adam. He looked kind of surprised that I could dance to this music. I guess I should have told him that I can dance to this kind of music, I just don't like to. I look off to the side and there's Hunter just staring at us. What? Was he stalking me now or something? Some guy bumped into me from behind and I fell against Adam. Then I just didn't move any farther back. I know it sounds like I was using Adam, but it wasn't like that really. It's not like I actually minded the fact that I got to brush up against that gorgeous body, repeatedly. Okay so maybe I'd had a bit more to drink than I thought. After another minute or so Adam looks at me and tells me he needs a drink. Only he sounded kind of like someone had caught his nuts in a vice. I looked at him like he was crazy wondering if someone had pinched his ass or something. I also considered the fact that maybe he had had too much to drink, as well. It was pretty crowded in there by that time, so I put my hand at his waist and helped guide him back to our table. When we get there, he grabs his drink and takes a huge swallow. Okay so maybe he was thirsty. He thanks me for dancing with him. I try not to laugh because he looks really flustered about something. The music had switched back to something with a thumping beat, so I leaned closer to him to ask him if he felt better. He must not have realized I was that close. When he turned to answer me, his lips brushed against mine. I expected him to jerk away and laugh over it or something, only that's not quite what happened. He just… froze I guess. He sat there with his lips against mine and I could feel his warm breath washing over me. After the thoughts I had had earlier about how hot he looked I just couldn't stand it anymore. I was possessed by this deep need to know how he tasted. It was such a bad idea. We were friends and we'd both had too much to drink, but I couldn't resist the urge for just one more little taste. I could feel him start to pull away and I knew if I didn't do it now, I'd probably never get another chance to find out. And hey, I had a great excuse too, being drunk. So I slid my tongue slowly across the seam of his lips. I was going to leave it at that, but damn he tasted good. So when he parted his lips a little bit, I decided maybe just a little bit bigger taste wouldn’t be such a bad thing. So I slipped my tongue between his soft lips and he tasted so sweet. I didn't know if it was that weird concoction he had been drinking, I swear the thing had ten kinds of alcohol in it, or if it was just the taste of Adam, himself. All I knew was that I was addicted and that taste was the drug. He started to move and I was so afraid he was going to pull away before I got my fill that I slid my hand into his hair, trying to keep him close to me. I start gently stroking his scalp, trying to convince him without words not to pull away yet. As his hands dropped to my chest, I realized he hadn't been trying to get away, rather he'd been trying to get closer. Oh this was not good. As his hands touched me, it was like electric shock treatment or something. I could feel my muscles jumping under his fingers and my heart was racing in my chest. I heard some weird sound like someone was in pain, then I realized it was me whimpering, hoping he'd keep touching me. As my tongue brushed against his, I growled and thrust my tongue deeper. I needed more, so much more. I wasn't sure where the hell this was going, all I knew is I didn't want to let him go just yet. Then I heard it. "Who let the dog in here? With all that growling, it sounds like it's gonna eat someone." Laughter. Ben-oyt, you bitch. Like you don't sound the same way whenever a certain man-beast is around. "Hey Chris! You'd have an easier time finding his tonsils if you use a flashlight!" Thanks for the info Shawn. Shouldn't he be too busy trying to find Mark's tonsils to worry about what I'm doing? "I think he needs some air Chris. He's turning kind of blue." Gee, way to ruin the moment Jay. More laughter. Those guys are supposed to be my friends? They all acted like they wouldn't do the exact same thing if they were in my position, which I know is a lie. Adam finally caught on that all that noise they were making was because of us, and he practically jumped away from me. Oh hell. He was staring at the table like the meaning of life was written on the top of it. If I didn't do something right that moment, I had a feeling things were going to be real awkward between us for a long time. So I pulled out the King of the World persona and stood up and bowed to the little bastards. I just about hated them all at that particular moment. I turned back to look at Adam and he was still staring at that table. I had to do something, I didn't think he'd react like that to just a kiss. Damn Chris you really fucked up this time. I put my hand on his arm. He looked up at me with a wary look in his eye. Oh yeah, I fucked up big time, maybe I can play it off as nothing. "It was just a kiss. No big deal, right?" I said softly to him with a small smile. "Right. No big deal." He smiled at me. I could tell the smile was kind of forced though. He looked like he was thinking some serious thoughts. I wasn't too far from doing that myself, but I decided to wait until I got back to the hotel that night to analyze it. So I convinced Adam that we should go heckle Jay for awhile. He came with me and joined in the fun, but seemed distracted for the rest of the night. **** So, remember that plan I had to analyze what had happened once I got back to the hotel? That didn't quite happen as planned. By the time we were ready to leave the nightclub for the hotel, most of us were way too drunk to drive, so we took cabs back to the hotel. I barely managed to make it to my room without falling on my ass. As I stumbled through the door and made my way towards the bed, I stripped out of my clothes. Thank god I'd remembered to shut the door or someone could have had one hell of a show. So I fall into bed, the world spinning around me, and just as I'm drifting off my mind decides to remember "the kiss". Now normally that wouldn't be a bad thing, but when I'm drunk I tend to have unusually erotic dreams. So my dream starts out with our kiss, hot and sweet, just like I remembered it being. Except, in my dream, we didn't get interrupted. So we're kissing all hot and heavy and the next thing I know I'm laid out on top of the table naked with Adam's wonderful mouth wrapped around my cock. I don't see anyone else, but I can feel them watching us. I've got my hands fisted in his hair and I plant my feet on the table. I'm thrusting up hard as he goes down on me, and he's taking it like a pro. Then I'm coming in his mouth and it seems to go on forever. That is when real life intrudes and I'm waking up covered in sweat and well…you know. Yeah that's right. For the first time in more than 15 years I woke up covered in my own come. I tried to explain it away. I was drunk and hadn't had any action in six months. My dream included Adam because of the kiss we'd shared, but it could have been anyone and I'd have reacted the same way. The fact that I actually had a… wet dream was because I had a secret desire to be an exhibitionist. All logical thoughts, too bad they were all bullshit. I made myself face the fact that I wanted Adam. I also faced the fact that I wasn't going to do anything about it. If I hadn't felt broken, if Adam wasn't my best friend, if I hadn't sworn off relationships, then maybe I would have done something. With the way the deck was stacked against me, I wasn't touching it with a ten-foot pole. I had seven days to get myself under control before I had to face Adam again and I had the feeling I'd need every one of them to do it. **** Vince had me scheduled for four promotional appearances that week. I managed to keep myself busy enough through the first two that I only had enough time for brief flashbacks of our kiss. Of course the fact that I had said flashbacks about thirty times a day was a little disturbing, but I managed to keep avoiding the issue as planned. Then at the third appearance they stuck me with Shelton Benjamin. Now Shelton is a nice kid, and usually I have no problems with him, but for some reason from the moment we set out for the appearance, he kept pushing my buttons. *flashback* "Hey Chris, how's it going?" "It's going Shelton." "Cute. So I heard Jay and Dave's bachelor party was pretty wild. I would have come, but I had a damn appearance early the next morning halfway across the country. Did I miss anything?" Did he miss anything? Did him and Adam kissing constitute anything? Probably not as far as Shelton was concerned. "Not unless you count a bunch of drunk wrestlers singing "Like A Virgin" anything." Said with a smirk of course. "I'd have paid money to see that actually." Shelton had this huge grin on his face. That should have been enough warning really. "Actually I was really disappointed that I couldn't be there. There's someone I've had my eye on lately and I was hoping to hook up with him. I know since he and Jay are so close he had to be there." Do not say Adam. "So tell me, since I know you two are good friends, Adam was there right?" He said it! "You're interested in Adam?" Okay. I almost managed to sound like that was a casual question. "Hell yes! Who wouldn't be? I probably shouldn't say this to you since you’re his friend and all, but the guy is like a walking wet dream." Oh…my…god! I'm not going to blush like a schoolgirl, honest I'm not! "Really? I guess I've never thought about him that way?" Yeah, right. Shelton is now looking at me like I have two heads. "Are you dead or just blind?" "Neither, I just don't happen to think things like that about my best friend." You are so going to hell. Liar! "So is he seeing anyone? Think you could put in a good word for me?" Not on the coldest day in hell! "Actually, I think he might be seeing someone." Yep. The devil's saved you a seat right beside him. And there's that fucking grin again. Shouldn't he be disappointed? "So…tell me…does this person he's seeing mind the fact that the two of you were playing tonsil hockey that night?" If looks could kill, Shelton Benjamin would be a dead man. *end flashback* Needless to say, the first time I had an opportunity to get away from Shelton, I took it. One of these days I'm going to get him back for setting me up like that. After that appearance, I made it home for a glorious day and a half. For some reason I have yet to figure out, I wasn't scheduled to appear on Raw that Monday night. Not that I'm complaining. My fourth and final appearance was the day of my birthday, and the day before Jay and Dave's commitment ceremony. I ended up missing the rehearsal dinner. I really would have liked to be there. I was surprised that Jay hadn't called me. I figured he would have wanted to know how I ended up kissing Adam. Of course he'd probably already talked to Adam about it. I knew Adam was picking me up from the airport since we'd planned it the night of the bachelor party. He'd said he had some big surprise for me for my birthday. I was both excited and nervous about seeing him again. I never imagined where the night would end up though. **** When he picked me up at the airport, I tried to act normal…well normal for me anyway. Things were going great. I had myself under control. Then he says, "I need to change first though. I'm way overdressed to help you celebrate your birthday." Then he winks at me. I just froze for a second. I was thinking…what does Adam consider not overdressed? My mind pictured Adam jumping naked out of a cake except for some strategically placed frosting and it still considered him overdressed. Where the hell did that image come from? We had to go get my luggage, so I was forced to walk through the airport while sporting wood. We got to the baggage claim and I was thanking god I finally managed to get myself under control, because we had run into a couple of fans. We signed a few autographs, found my bags, and got out of there. On the way to the hotel, he tells me all about the rehearsal dinner. Not to be mean or anything but it sounded boring as hell. Of course I'd probably have spent the entire time staring at Adam, so it's a really good thing I didn't get to go. I followed him up to his room so he could change. It was really cold that night so I was happy to notice that the heater worked. I noticed there were two beds in the room and wondered if he had a roommate that night. I flipped on the hockey game. Like I was going to watch anything else, right? Except maybe Adam. He picked out some clothes and went into the bathroom to change. I was trying to concentrate on the game, really I was. My damn mind of course was focused on the fact that Adam was in the bathroom in some state of undress. I restrained myself from just walking in there, but it was a close call. Adam came out of the bathroom and he was wearing those fucking leather pants. Not that I don't like Adam in leather pants, I do. That's the damn problem. When he's backstage at the arena in those pants, there is not one guy back there who does not check him out. Seriously. The shirt he was wearing, was an emerald green color, and it matched his eyes perfectly. Hey, he's my best friend. I'm supposed to know what color they are, right? I was pretending to watch the game. I saw him bending over to pick up his boots and it took all I had in me not to jump on him. Then he came and sat down beside me and I wondered what he would do if I kissed him again. I was watching him, all pretense of watching the game gone, when he turned and noticed me watching him. I had to say something, because him watching me watching him was getting kind of nerve-wracking. So I spit out, "Nice shirt." Oh that was smooth Chris. I was still looking at the shirt and with the top three buttons open I could see a good portion of his chest. I swear to god, it was just a reflex when I licked my lips. It had nothing to do with the fact that I really wanted to tongue-bathe all that golden skin on display. He was staring at my mouth. Then he shakes his head and says, "It was either this or the "born to ride" shirt that Mark gave me for my birthday." The laugh he let out then was kinda… strangled. That or it was a giggle. He went to the dresser and pulled out a T-shirt that said "born to ride" on it. Adam giggling is too scary to contemplate, so I ignored it and asked, "Born to ride?" I gave a short laugh and then made one of the stupidest possible comments I could have made. "I'm going to assume that means the motorcycle pictured below?" Well fucking duh Chris, what the hell else is it supposed to mean? Adam of course had an answer, one I wasn't prepared for in the least. "Motorcycles or stallions." He gave a short laugh and his next comment nearly sent me into apoplexy. "I love the feeling of something so solid and powerful between my thighs." I was in the process of trying to get my brain to function again. Kinda hard for that to happen when all the blood in my body was being redirected to that other organ between my thighs. Then he winked at me again. Was there something in his eye or was he trying to give me a heart attack? It was kind of humorous though, because he looked as shocked that he'd said it as I did. "Are we ready?" To have sex repeatedly until completely exhausted? Hell yeah! Fuck, gimmick infringement. Steve would have whooped my ass if he heard that. Good thing he's not in my head, because he'd be finding out more than he ever wanted to know about Y2J's thought processes. "I'm always ready." I managed to smile, though I'm sure it showed signs of the thoughts I was having. "Shall we?" …stay in tonight and make some hot monkey love? At that point I'd almost decided I should go in for a lobotomy. Obviously my brain was not functioning properly. "Of course," he said. Only my mind wanted to believe he was replying to the unspoken part of the question. I somehow managed to stand up. There was that damn wood again. I hurried past Adam, heading for the door. "I'll drive." **** Thankfully the drive to the restaurant was a short one. Adam was pretty quiet. I wasn't sure whether I should be happy about that or not. We were both acting a little strange. I considered asking him what was bothering him, but I already had an idea of what it was. I almost brought up "the kiss", but decided to wait until after we ate. I thought maybe if we relaxed and talked like old times, we'd both settle down and things would get back to normal. It was a nice thought at the time. The restaurant was great. The food was delicious and Adam must have really liked the wine, because he had three glasses. I limited myself to two glasses because I was afraid of what might happen if we both got drunk again. We talked about random topics while we were eating and it almost seemed like old times, almost. There was still a thread of tension there and I think we could both feel it. "Let's pick up something to drink and head back to the hotel. I've got a surprise for you." When he said it I almost choked. Of course that was because that image of Adam and the cake popped back into my head. He wouldn't do something like that, would he? I know I must have given him a really funny look, but he didn't say a word about it. He paid for the check as part of my birthday present and we headed back to the hotel. **** We picked up some wine on the way to the hotel. When we got back to Adam's room, I grabbed the remote and turned on another hockey game. I put a pillow behind my back and leaned up against the headboard. "I'm ready for my surprise." I really was excited. Adam always gives me the best surprises. I watched him cross the room and pick up a box from the table. I knew it was too small to be a sports car, but a guy can hope, right? "Close your eyes for a minute Chris." Okay? I closed my eyes although I was almost scared of what he was doing. I heard him open the box. It was silent for a moment, then I heard the sound of a match lighting. I could smell the sulfur and wrinkled my nose slightly. Another moment of silence, then I heard shuffling sounds moving closer to me. Okay, color me nervous. "You can open your eyes now." I looked and there's Adam holding a huge cheesecake, a lit candle in the middle. I laughed. Jay and Adam both know that cheesecake is my favorite. I should have guessed. I blew out the candle and he sits down on the bed, sitting the cheesecake between us. He handed me a stack of plates and a plastic knife and fork. I cut a piece for both of us. Hey, it was a huge cheesecake. Since he was nice enough to get me one I figured it'd be kind of rude not to share. When Adam finished his slice, he laid down on his stomach on the bed. The game was on, but I couldn't pay attention to the damn thing. How was I supposed to do that with Adam lying on his stomach in leather pants? That gorgeous ass was within grabbing distance and I was considering grabbing myself a great big handful. I could pass it off as a slap on the ass. We do that shit all the time at work. It could have worked, right? Then I started to wonder how he would react if I just climbed right on top of him and started grinding myself against him. That was a really nice image, but of course I didn't do it. The game ended. I couldn't tell you what the score had been or even who had won. Hell, at that moment I'd have been hard pressed to tell you which teams were playing. He sat up and leaned beside me against the headboard. "Great game." He said quietly. "Was it?" I asked quietly. I mean it wasn't as if I'd actually seen any of it. "Well you were watching it. Didn't you think so?" "Actually I wasn't watching the game." I knew I was staring at his mouth, but I couldn't help myself. "Weren't you?" I noticed the pink tinge to his cheeks and realized he knew exactly what I had to have been watching. "No." I'd said so quietly that I wasn't sure he'd heard me. I reached out with my hand and stroked my fingers over his cheek. I just couldn't stop myself from touching him. I wanted to kiss him again. It didn't matter that the little voice inside my head was screaming at me not to do it. I didn't really have a choice. I needed to do it. As we leaned toward each other, he whispered, "This is probably a bad idea." All I could think was, was it really? It sounded good to me. "This is probably the best idea we've had all night." When I said it, I honestly meant it. At that moment there was nothing I wanted more than to ravish his mouth, and the rest of him as well. I brushed my lips gently against his, giving him the chance to pull away if that was what he wanted. Obviously that's not what he wanted. The next thing I knew, he had his tongue in my mouth searching for mine. I stroked my hand down the side of his neck and he moaned into my mouth. Damned if that wasn't one of the sexiest things I had ever heard. I needed to keep touching him because I wanted to hear him do it again. And again. And again. I slipped my hand from his neck and traced it down his spine and got exactly the reaction I had wanted. He arched his back and leaned closer to me. He lifted his hands and put them on my shoulders. I could feel my muscles contracting under his fingertips. I needed to touch more of him, feel him under me. I growled against his lips. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him underneath me. I slipped my leg between his thighs. I couldn't stop myself from rubbing my erection against his hip. I was worried for a moment that just that slight pressure was going to be enough to make me come. Damn wouldn't that have been embarrassing. I decided to slow things down a bit so I broke the kiss and moved my mouth to his neck. His skin was so smooth and the slightly salty taste was driving me crazy. I felt his thighs squeeze gently around mine as he slid his hand down my arm. He took my hand and lifted it to his mouth. I started biting gently along his neck and then I felt that amazing tongue of his licking over the tip of my finger. Next thing I knew he'd sucked that finger into his mouth and I couldn't help my reaction. My hips bucked and pushed my hardness against his hip. I wanted that beautiful mouth of his sucking on something besides my finger. The image of Adam with his mouth wrapped around my aching cock had me groaning against his neck. I wanted to touch more of him so I pulled my finger from his mouth. I ran my hand down his stomach and slipped it under the bottom of his shirt. I could feel his abs clenching under my touch. Glad to know he was being affected as much by my touch as I was by his. I could feel him tugging on my sweater. He asked me to take it off and I'll be damned if I was going to deny him anything at that point. He could have asked for both my kidneys and I'd have given them to him with a smile. I sat up and pulled the sweater over my head. His eyes were fixed on my chest. He lifted his hand and traced one finger down the center of my chest stopping just above the waistband of my jeans. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to me. He straddled my legs and his ass was settled on top of my thighs. My need to touch more of his skin had me unbuttoning his shirt. I slipped my hands inside to touch his stomach and slowly ran them up to his shoulders before pushing his shirt down his arms. Silk shirts are nice, but they are nothing compared to Adam's skin. I tossed his shirt to the side, not paying any attention to where it ended up. I let my eyes roam over his exposed chest. If we were going to stop things it would have to be now, because if we went any further I didn't know if I could stop even if he asked me to. I looked up into his eyes and even though I could see his own need burning there I had to ask him what if this was what he wanted. I couldn't live with myself if he regretted this later. I wouldn't give up my best friend just for sex. Even if I was pretty sure it was going to be really great sex. "Are you sure?" I asked quietly. **** He seemed to hesitate for a second but the words from his mouth erased my doubts. "Chris, I…" He looked into my eyes and said, "I want this. I want you." Thank god! If he'd wanted to stop I'd probably have jumped out the window. Not really, but I'd have been real damn uncomfortable until I managed to rid myself of the rock in my pants. No! Not that Rock! Weirdo! Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him against my chest. I claimed his mouth, needing to taste him. He rolled his hips, pushing his ass against my erection. Those little noises he was making were sexy as hell. More moans, more silky skin, more Adam, I wanted more of everything. I slid my hand up his back and tangled it in his hair. His chest brushed against mine and I could feel his hard nipples rubbing against me. Wondering if they tasted as sweet as every other part of him, I needed to taste them. I pulled my mouth from his and kissed slowly down the side of his neck. His fingers were stroking over my chest as I bent my head and slid my tongue over the tip of his nipple. I brushed my tongue around the tight point and his hands slid up to grasp my shoulders. Closing my lips gently around the tip, I sucked softly on it. He arched his back seeming to want more so I sucked harder. He moaned loudly and it shot straight to my groin. Damn he sounded so fucking sexy. I slipped my tongue across his chest to tease his other nipple. He rocked his hips gently, grinding his ass against my hard cock. I could smell the scent of his arousal. Like I needed any more stimulation at that point. He kept rocking against me and moaning. Every so often I could hear my name slip from his lips. Though I wasn't sure why, it pleased me to know that he was aware of the fact that I was the one responsible for his current state. He grabbed my hair and pulled me up so he could kiss me again. Next thing I knew he was unsnapping my jeans. He slid off my lap and helped me pull them off. Then Adam took a deep breath, and reached for the top of my boxers. He stripped them off quickly and spent a moment looking at me head to toe. "God, you're beautiful." I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks when he said it. Beautiful? Me? I wanted some of whatever he'd been smokin'. "Guys are not beautiful, you assclown. Especially not this guy." I think it was obvious to him that even though I was protesting what he'd said, that I liked that he'd said it. "Well, you are. Get over it." Since I could think of things I'd rather be doing than arguing with him, I let it go. Next thing I knew Adam was kneeling between my legs, running that beautiful tongue of his all over my calves and up my thighs. I could feel my muscles clench in anticipation. I wanted him to hurry because I was aching so badly, yet I loved the way he was slowly mapping out my body with his mouth. He kissed slowly over my hips and his golden hair slipped across my groin. Damn, Adam. Tease much? He kissed around my navel and licked smoothly over my hips. His hand slid up my thigh and just barely brushed my balls. I couldn't help the quiet sound that slipped from my mouth. It was like torture, but I loved every second of it. Then he slid one finger up my length and rubbed the pre-cum from the tip all over the tender head. He looked up at me and without breaking eye contact, slid his tongue across the top and licked the sticky fluid off. My eyes slipped shut and I clenched my hands in the comforter. Holy fuck that looked so hot! One more swipe with his tongue and then he asked me to move to the head of the bed. I was supposed to be able to move after that? I finally got settled where he wanted me and he moved between my thighs and laid down on his stomach. The next little bit was a blur but I felt his hands and mouth move over my thighs. When he reached my balls, he started sucking them into his mouth and stroking them with his tongue. It felt so good I couldn't stop myself from moaning quietly. Then finally, just before I yelled at him to stop torturing me, Adam laid his hand on my cock. When he squeezed firmly around the shaft my hips bucked, forcing more of my balls into his mouth. You'd think the fact that he was my friend would keep him from teasing me like that. I wish! I watched as he rose up on his knees, his hand running along my length. My tongue slipped from my mouth to wet my dry lips. I could see what was coming in his eyes and I bit on my lower lip with my teeth waiting for him to take that next step. He started licking me with little strokes of his tongue. Just as he slipped the head of my cock in his mouth, Adam moaned. The vibrations from his mouth shot down to my balls and my head dropped back against the headboard. It seemed as if he had teased me forever before he took pity on me and started sucking my cock. I had thought "dream Adam" was good at sucking cock? It was so much better than what I had dreamed it would be. I realized I was whimpering like a little bitch, but I honestly didn't care as long as he kept sucking me like that. Then just like my dream, I couldn't stand it anymore. Reaching down, I wrapped my hands tightly in his hair and started bucking my hips towards his face. It was so good. His mouth was so warm and wet. He started humming and I knew it was over. I felt the twitch in my balls and moaned loudly knowing I was finally going to get the relief I'd been praying for. I could feel him swallowing as I shot my creamy load down his throat. He slid his lips up along my length then used his tongue to clean every last drop of come from me. If asked, I couldn't have told you my name at that moment, but I was very aware of how I'd gotten in this state. Adam, the new god of oral sex, was responsible for the quivering mass formerly know as… um… Chris, yeah that's it! He kissed his way slowly up my stomach to my chest and lay down beside me. He rested with his chest against my side as my breathing returned to normal. Leaning close to me, he rimmed my ear with his tongue. "Happy Birthday baby." He whispered softly. Did he just call me baby? He smiled that lop-sided smile that I like so much. Fuck it, when he smiles at me like that he can call me any damn thing he wants to. "Although I did actually get you a real gift." A real gift? I'd rather have more of what I just had thank you very much. "I'm not sure it could be any better than the one you just gave me. I think your tongue is a lethal weapon." That was the honest truth. He should have to register that thing. He rolled to his side and grabbed his cup of wine. As he was taking a drink, I slid up against his back and wrapped my arms around him. That blowjob was really, really good, but I wanted, no make that needed, so much more. Partially because I knew Adam was still rock hard inside those leather pants and partially because if I were honest I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything. That should have been a clue that this was more than a one-night roll in the hay with my best friend, but I ignorantly wrote it off to hormones. I slid my hand from his waist to stroke his hip and thigh, the leather pants cool under my fingers. Sliding my hand back up I pressed my lips to the side of Adam's neck. He quickly set the glass back on the table as I brushed my mouth along his shoulder. My hand finally reached his chest and I used my fingers to tease his nipples until they were tight and hard. "While you're in the giving mood…" I whispered in his ear, "There's, um, something else I'd really like to have." God please let him say yes. **** Adam's body was shaking slightly and as his head dropped back against my shoulder I noticed his eyes were closed tightly. I watched his lips as the words fell from his mouth, "yes, please yes, Chris." The first yes was all I needed, the rest was icing on the cake so to speak. I was thinking that hearing him say my name with that husky tone was starting to become addictive. He looked down as my hand slid down to the button on his pants. I took my time with the zipper before parting the material and stroking my hand over his stomach. Nuzzling his neck, I let my fingertips brush the tip of his cock. I nipped gently on his throat as I opened the front of his pants further. As I moved my fingers to gently stroke his hard shaft I could hear his breath hitch in his throat. Sliding my lips to his ear, I slowly rubbed the drip of moisture at the tip of his cock around the head. He moaned and his hips jerked hard pushing himself further into my hand. I felt the fierce urge to taste his essence and lifted my hand to my mouth to lick the taste of him from my fingers. Damn he tasted so good. "Oh yes, Adam. You are so hot and hard, so sweet." The words fell from my mouth before I knew I was going to say them. I could feel him shaking in my arms and the next thing I knew he was struggling out of his pants. He kicked them off the end of the bed and tried to turn into my arms. I stopped him and pulled him back hard against me, sliding my hand down between his thighs. As my fingers ran along his length I was in awe. Between you and me, if I hadn't been so desperate to be buried in his ass, I would have gladly bottomed for him. He's hung like a bull. Maybe next time. Wait! Who said anything about a next time? It's not like we were in the habit of jumping into bed together. Adam started pushing backwards, rubbing his ass against my quickly hardening cock. I wanted to be inside him so bad, wanted to feel him clenching me tightly in his hot tunnel. He reached over into the nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lube. It barely crossed my mind to wonder if he always kept it there and who else he might be using it with. Then as he handed it to me, I was just thanking god he had it. He leaned back against me and started kissing my neck as I slicked up my fingers and set the bottle off to the side. I slid my hand slowly over his hip and between his thighs. When I stroked my finger slowly against his entrance, he moaned quietly. He tensed up a bit but he didn't tell me to stop, so I didn't. I didn't want to hurt him though, so I whispered quietly to him as I pushed the tip of my finger into him. "Shhh. Calm down sweetheart. I don't want to hurt you any more than necessary to get you ready. You're so tight, gonna feel so good wrapped around me." I'm not sure he understood a word I said, but it seemed to soothe him. He tried to buck against my hand, but I stopped him from taking my finger in too quickly. Brushing my lips against his cheek, I used slow strokes to get him ready. "Please?" His whispered plea urged me on. He turned his head back to me and licked at my lips. I loosened my grip on him and he turned onto his back. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled my mouth down to his. I could feel the desperation for more in his hungry kisses. I gave him more, pushing two fingers slowly inside him. He moaned into my mouth and I knew it had to hurt a bit, but the feel of his hand grasping my erection spurred me on. Adam continued to stroke me in his hand until I was fully erect. I groaned and shifted between his legs. Slipping my fingers from his body, I thrust my hard cock against his own. As I gently spread his legs wider and positioned my cock at his entrance, Adam pulled my head down to his and kissed me. I pushed just hard enough to get the head inside the tight ring of muscle, then waited for him to adjust. I knew it hurt from the whimper he made, so I kissed him softly until he was adjusted. When he parted his legs further I could tell he was ready so I pushed inside him in one long stroke. When he wrapped his thighs around me I had to hold myself in check. He was so tight and warm wrapped around me, just like I'd known he would be. I could get used to this…no! No commitments, remember? I broke out in a sweat from the effort of not coming. Just sitting here, still inside him, was better than anything I'd ever known. That thought scared me, but I pushed it away to worry about later. All I wanted right now was to pleasure this beautiful man who had given himself to me. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to make him writhe beneath me in ecstasy. Did I just call him beautiful? For fuck's sake, men aren't beautiful! Except…Adam is. I raised my hand to his nipple and as I stroked it I withdrew halfway and then plunged back inside. I worked my way up to longer strokes until I was pulling almost all the way out and then slowly burying my length in him. Adam was scratching his nails down my back, meeting each thrust I made. He tossed his head back, moaning with each stroke. I could hear my name slipping from his lips over and over. Oh yeah, you know who I am babe. No ego here, thanks. I could tell he was getting close. Adam's muscles clenched tight around me and then he came hard. The look of ecstasy on his face was shadowed only by the burning emotion in his eyes. I refused to name that emotion, though I think I knew even at that moment what he felt. I buried myself to the hilt inside him as he thrashed beneath me, his come splashing over his stomach. The only thing that saved me from coming with him was the fact that I'd already come once tonight. If I had my way it was going to be two even for each of us by the time it was over. As his legs dropped from my waist, I slid my arms beneath his thighs and pushed them up towards his chest. I held myself up on my arms and noticed he was looking to where we were still joined together. The thought that Adam wanted to watch me moving inside him was a huge turn-on. I started out slowly. Withdrawing almost to the tip and then slowly pushing back in deep. He reached one hand down to stroke my balls and I fought against coming. I leaned forward to kiss him and I could tell I was hitting his prostate with every stroke. It didn't take long before he was hard again. Knowing I might never have this chance again, I wanted to have him every way I could. If this was it, I wanted these memories to fuel my dreams. "I want you on your knees sweetheart." I watched him smile as I pulled from inside him. I could tell the endearment surprised him, but I'm sure it surprised me even more. It hadn't been a conscious decision for me to call him that any more than it had been the first time. That, in itself, was scary. The little voice inside my head tried to remind me I had sworn off romance and all the trimmings. I pushed the thought away. Being with Adam was too good and too right to worry about the past, or the future for that matter. We could deal with all the issues later. The only concern I had right then was trying to give us both what we needed. Adam rolled to his stomach and pushed up on his hands and knees. As my cock brushed the cleft of his ass, I could see a shiver rack his frame. Adam was so sensitive, so good, and at this particular moment…all mine. As I slipped my cock back into his stretched hole I welcomed the distraction his body provided from my intrusive thoughts. He moaned loudly as I began slow measured thrusts into his tight heat. I slipped my hands up his back to his shoulders and used them to steady myself as I buried myself inside him. He rocked back against me trying to make me move faster. I was moaning and grunting with each thrust. Damn it felt so good, so right, like I was meant to be with him right here, just like this. "Chris, please. Harder, I need..." His pleas sounded so desperate for me to give him more, I couldn't deny him any longer. I lowered my hands to his hips and grasped them tightly. I began thrusting hard and fast, pounding deep inside his ass with each stroke. He screamed my name and it pushed me so close that I knew I couldn't hold out any more. A few more squeaks from the bed-frame and I shouted my release. My hot seed flooded inside him as I gasped to fill my lungs. I barely had the presence of mind to reach around his hip and grasp his still-hard cock. I stroked him with quick, firm strokes. Within seconds, he was coming in my hand. "Oh yes Chris! Yes!" My stomach clenched at his cries. I was the one that made him sound like that. He was experiencing that pleasure because of me. If I weren't so sure I'd sworn off feelings like that, I'd almost say I felt possessive of him. I didn't want to imagine him sounding like that for anyone but me, but since I wasn't going to get involved again that was not likely, was it? I kissed softly along his spine before rolling us to the side. He was cuddled against my chest, my body still joined to his. I rested my hand gently on his thigh as our breathing began to even out. He reached down to pull the comforter up over us. My breathing evened out as I came closer to falling asleep. That was when it happened. I heard him quietly whisper, "I love you, Chris." Somehow I managed to keep up the guise of sleep. I didn't twitch so much as a muscle, but my mind was racing. I heard him sigh softly and after a short time he was deep asleep. As fast as my mind was racing over his confession, coming twice and the effort I'd put into our second round had worn me out. I could feel the lure of sleep pulling me deeper with each thought. Too tired to fight it I held Adam tightly to me as I drifted off. **** That's it. Everything up to this point. Now I have to figure out how to deal with it all. I can handle loving Adam as a friend, but can I allow myself to feel more for him? If I'm honest with myself, I have to admit that I already do. If I didn't have…feelings for him, I wouldn't have had the thoughts and reactions I had while we were…doing what we were doing last night. I look at the time and realize I have to contact Jay soon for any last minute things he needs done. Maybe he'll have a few minutes so we can talk. I obviously can't talk to Adam about this while I'm so unsure. It's a good thing I have two close friends. Jay knows all about Hunter, too. So I can count on him to understand where I'm coming from. The best I can do until I talk to Jay is to avoid Adam at all costs. I hate doing that, but at this moment it's the only thing I can do. He'll think he's done something wrong. He hasn't. If anything I'm the one that fucked this up and if it costs me his friendship I don't know how I'll survive losing it. The End (for now) ©2004 Raising Kane

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