"Probation"

By Raising Kane

Disclaimer: I imply nothing about the sexual orientation, religious beliefs, etc. of any of the characters. This is simply a work of fiction produced by my twisted and adventurous mind.
Distribution: Shadows of the Moon, anyone else...if you really want it... just ask first please.
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Shawn Michaels/HHH
Mentions of: Adam Copeland(Edge)/Chris Jericho, Jay Reso(Christian)/Dave Batista, Mark Calloway(Undertaker)/Randy Orton, Al Snow/Ric Flair, Misc. others
Content: M//M relationships, language, angst, humor, m/m sex
Notes: This has taken forever to get done due to my reluctant HunterMuse, but I did promise and so I shall deliver. ;) It's based in my UTM Universe, but focuses on the Hunter/Shawn dynamic rather than Adam/Chris.
Dedication: To Pen, who demanded it. :P

Part 1 *Shawn's POV* I'm sitting here in my hotel room waiting for Hunter to show up. Damn am I nervous. When Mark and I left for the reception earlier tonight, I never imagined that we wouldn't be leaving together. Well, I guess technically Mark and I did leave together, since he gave me a ride back to the hotel, but his focus was on Randy rather than me. Luckily Mark was able to talk Randy into a drink in the lounge when we got back here so that I could clear my stuff out of his room and get my own. I don't think Randy would have been near as accepting of Mark's invitation to come back here and talk if he knew that my things had been in Mark's room at the time. Then again, maybe Mark actually explained the situation to him since he didn't seem to mind my presence in the car earlier. Who am I kidding? Like Randy would have cared. Even if Mark and I had been serious, Randy still would have taken him up on that invitation. Randy isn't a very nice person right now. He's selfish, spoiled, and terribly manipulative, but for some ungodly reason Mark has this huge thing for him. The only reason I think it's a good thing is because if anyone can straighten out Randy, it's Mark. Mark is way too smart to get played by someone like Randy. I called Hunter after I checked into the new room to let him know where to find me. I really hope this isn't a mistake. I have been in love with the man for years and I know he's loved me too, even if he couldn't say it...or show it. That's where we ran into trouble. I wanted more from him than what I was getting. I wasn't asking for anything really big...I just wanted to let a few of our friends know that we weren't just best friends. Whenever we were around anyone else, he refused to touch me in any way that could be construed as affectionate beyond those macho male exchanges allowed between "friends". You know what I mean... a macho hug, an arm over the shoulder...those were perfectly acceptable, but if I just wanted to hold his hand or something he always found an excuse to do something else with them...and not anything that I liked either. We never talked about our relationship in front of others...except for our friendship. That was okay at first, but after a couple of years of hiding my feelings all the time, I finally demanded that we let someone know. I didn't even care who it was, but Hunter absolutely refused. It damn near killed me, but I knew then that I had to move on without him. I couldn't handle being his dirty little secret. When I told him it was over, he tried everything he could to change my mind...except agree to let anyone else know about us. That night was probably the lowest one I've ever had. Ironically it happened to be the night of the Vengeance Pay-Per-View when I had to go out in front of the crowd and try to 'convince' Hunter to join Raw. We were finally going to be on the same show together and I wanted a promise that things would change. Hunter refused once again. Later that night, after Hunter and I had had our last fight, Mark found me crying my eyes out in a deserted hall at the arena and I ended up crying all over him. We were friends before that, but after my little breakdown, Mark took me back to the hotel and held me all night while I vacillated between anger and despair. Our friendship grew after that night and we shared a room for the next month until Mark transferred to Smackdown. Despite what everyone else thinks, I did not jump right into his bed. We kept things platonic for damn near six months before anything happened. Then one night we'd ended up in nearby areas, met up for a few drinks at a bar. We both tied one on pretty heavily and we were both pretty damn lonely and well... things just happened. We talked about it the next morning and decided that since we weren't seeing anyone else that there was nothing at all wrong with keeping each other company when we were in the same area. I should clarify that I was more than happy to agree to it, because Mark is an extremely talented man when it comes to.... Whoops. You don't really want to hear about that, do you? Hunter meanwhile had gone on a bender of meaningless conquests and continued to do so until he hooked up with Chris. Hunter, I'm sure thought that no one would be any wiser, but I'm not stupid. I noticed when the two of them started leaving the shows together. Even if I hadn't figured it out, Mark has huge connections when it comes to the rumor mill. He asked me one night if I'd heard about Hunter and Chris and I told him I already knew. Apparently Mark had heard it from a rather disgruntled Jay because he found out that Hunter cheated on Chris with Randy. Jay, Mark, and Adam have been really close ever since the whole Ministry angle that they worked together so whenever those two have a problem they eventually call Mark to talk about it. Jay was furious with Hunter and needed to vent to someone...Mark was that someone. Finding out for sure that Hunter and Chris were together was rough. I couldn't believe that Hunter hadn't told me. We were still friends after all, even if we weren't as close as we had been before. I knew that Hunter had been attracted to him for a long time. Hell, from the night Chris debuted I could tell he was interested, but I wasn't worried about it then because I knew that Hunter would never cheat on me. That whole messy business with Randy was just that... a huge, huge mess orchestrated by Randy. I felt sorry for Chris and pissed at Hunter for hurting someone else. I'd also have to admit to being surprised that Chris forgave him. On top of all that was a twinge of jealousy here and there because no matter what I still loved Hunter...damn him. The night that everything blew up on Hunter, I was there. I couldn't believe what I heard coming from Randy's mouth, but when Hunter didn't deny any of it I wanted to smack him upside the head. I've spent the last six months watching Hunter chase after Chris and I wondered why he couldn't have done that with me. It honestly hurt. Hunter's explanation earlier shed a different light on those last six months, but at the time I'd thought he was trying to get Chris back. Apparently he knew that Chris wasn't going to take him back, he just wanted a chance to explain things, which he did earlier today. So how did we go from there to here? The reception...that would be Jay and Dave's reception. What a night. Both Mark and I noticed the tension between Adam and Chris. It was really odd that they were acting that way after practically jumping each other at the bachelor party. To be honest, Mark and I had been wondering if something had been going on there for a few months. Adam hadn't said anything to Mark, so he assumed that it was just strictly friendship, but you wouldn't have known it to see them together. They were the most couple-like non-couple that I've ever seen. Always touching each other, hell they practically lived in each other's pockets. That's why I couldn't figure out why Hunter kept chasing after Chris. Turns out from snippets we heard earlier that Chris and Adam hadn't actually gone from friendship to more until just last night, well if you don't count that super steamy kiss that they shared at the bachelor party. Getting off track here...anyway Mark and I were both curious why the two of them were shying away from each other tonight and it turns out that having spent the night together, Chris bolted because of some unresolved issues with Hunter. In the process of trying to resolve those issues, Hunter ended up kissing Chris and Adam saw it. God what a mess. I swear both Chris and Hunter needed smacked for that little blunder...I took care of smacking Hunter, but I think I'll let Adam take care of smacking Chris if need be. But the thing that changed my whole night was a comment that Hunter made while explaining the situation to Mark and me. "I thought that maybe I was in love with him, but he pointed out that I couldn't be because I'd already given my heart to someone else a long time ago. And he was right." I had already had a weird feeling that something had changed with the way Hunter kept staring at me during the ceremony. Then there were the dirty looks he was shooting my way when Mark announced that the trip invite to Adam was my idea. It was my idea, but only as a means to see what kind of reaction it provoked in Chris. I ended up getting two for the price of one with that one. And then there was Hunter's comment when Mark was confronting him about his part in the mess with Chris and Adam. I swear to god I could not breathe when he first said it. I didn't even have to ask who he meant since he was looking right at me when he said it. True he didn't actually come out and use the "L" word, but that was probably the closest he's been to it in regards to me. He never had a problem expressing how much he wanted me or needed me, but the whole time we were together the word "Love" never passed his lips. After Hunter's plan bombed and Hunter had to join the others up on stage for the dance party marathon, Mark and I had a little talk. I told him that I thought I should at least talk to Hunter and see what was going on. He wasn't happy about it at first because he still doesn't trust Hunter not to hurt me, but I told him that if there was a chance that he'd changed it was worth the risk to me to find out. Mark grumbled and groaned as he is wont to do, but he finally said that he understood. Then Adam cornered Mark and tried to get the truth of the set up out of him. That was damn hilarious. I've never seen Mark that uncomfortable before. Then we got caught up in the drama with Chris and Adam again. Adam looked like he wanted to brain Jay for slipping Chris' birthday present in with their wedding presents. A very nice present it was too. Though Chris, as is proper, was more impressed with the thought behind the gift than what Adam spent on it. I can't blame Adam for trying to do a runner...I mean geez, with all of us staring at him like that and then Benoit had to open his mouth about wishing his other half would buy him gifts like that. Considering that he and Chris at the time weren't "other anything" except maybe friends was a good enough reason for him to bolt. Jay wasn't about to let that happen though and sent Dave after him. Adam damn near screamed down the building after being tossed over Dave's shoulder. I wouldn't have been screaming...or maybe I would have since Dave was clearly off the market and it wasn't going to be for pleasurable purposes. After Jay kicked the boys out of the reception, and that was a blast let me tell ya, Hunter came up to talk to me. He asked how I was doing, that sort of thing. I kept expecting him to say something else, but apparently he wasn't ready at that point. He said he had a lot of things to do before he could make any concrete plans and then took off after Jay and Dave. I guess I understand since he wasn't sure exactly what he was going to have to cover since Adam and Chris weren't there anymore. I went looking for Mark and found him standing a little ways from the exit, clearly looking at Randy. I could tell he was debating with himself and since he didn't know for sure what my plans were for the rest of the night, he wasn't sure what he should do. I told him I was going to stick around and talk to Hunter. I mean he had to have some free time later, even if I had to ride along to the airport. Mark didn't look too enthusiastic and growled at me some more. It didn't hurt my cause at all that Randy chose that moment to walk by on his way towards the exit. I poked Mark in the ribs and told him that the same thing that I had said earlier applied to him as well, if Randy could change then maybe he was worth it too. Of course I didn't sound near as convincing about Randy as I had about Hunter, which is probably why Mark stuck his tongue out at me before heading off to intercept the little pain in the ass. Randy looked surprised as hell that anyone was bothering to stop him from leaving. Of course his eyes sure lit up when he saw who it was. I'm definitely keeping an eye on that situation. I finally got the chance to track down Hunter, who had managed to pry Ric away from Al for a few minutes. Talk about your odd couple, though they do look kind of cute together in a weird way...they need to lose the mannequin head though. They were in the process of trying to find the keys for the car that Jay and Dave had arranged to use for the ride to the airport. Luckily they had access to my brain because they were debating who was going to call Adam and ask him where they were. I would have offered up Mark's car rather than interrupt that fun conversation just to get a set of keys. After my suggestion of checking with Jay first, Hunter proclaimed me brilliant. I don't know about that, but it turned out that Jay did indeed have the keys. That was when Hunter asked me if we could talk after he dropped Jay and Dave at the airport. I considered asking to ride along, but that's when I conveniently remembered that my things were in Mark's room. I was sure Hunter wouldn't want a third during our conversation, especially if that third happened to be Mark, and it would have been if worse if Mark had Randy with him. With the history between Hunter and Randy that could have been rather explosive. I probably didn't react how he had expected me to. I simply said "Of course we can talk Hunter, we are friends, aren't we?" Okay so maybe I could have been nicer about it, but I was still stinging over the whole not telling me about Chris thing. Of course once I saw that cute little pout he gave me...well I thought it was cute anyway...I had to relent. I told him we could talk in my room, but I wasn't making any promises about the outcome. That at least earned me a little smile and an invitation to dance with him again. After lingering in his arms for two slow dances, I offered to help him load all the gifts in the cars that Hunter and Ric were driving that night. I think maybe Mark caught him for "a talk" after that because both of them disappeared for a bit. Hopefully Mark didn't threaten anything too important because Hunter's rather attached to his body parts and to be honest there are a few that I'm rather fond of as well. A short while later Mark told me that he'd actually managed to ask Randy to join him for a drink back at the hotel. Randy had apparently accepted, but Mark hadn't wanted to leave until he found out if I was in need of a ride or not. Since I'd already determined that I had to get my things out of his room, I figured that hitching a ride back with him was the best way to go. I accepted his offer and thankfully he and Randy weren't to the touchy-feely stage yet, because to tell you the truth if I'd had to watch that I probably would have felt the need to make gagging sounds. Then Mark might have felt the need to tie me up and spank me...his normal method of punishment when I made fun of him. I wouldn't normally mind that because it would mean he'd fuck me silly afterwards, but considering the fact that we're looking at seeing other people right now, it probably wouldn't have been the smartest move we could have made, especially since Randy would have been with us at the time. That thought is just...Eww. Whoa, way off track again. So now I'm here waiting for Hunter to show up and hoping that he really wants to work things out this time. It will only work if he's honestly willing to change, because I can't go back to him if things are going to be the same as before...it hurts too much. I can't...and I won't. *Hunter's POV* I think this has been one of the longest days of my entire life and it's not over yet, although I am looking forward to talking to Shawn. I'm hoping by some miracle that he'll be willing to give me another chance. We used to be together until I fucked everything up. Yes, I do blame myself because I know how much my actions hurt Shawn. I should know because he told me in deafening detail the day that he ended 'us'. Not that he hadn't given me a chance to fix things before he left, but I couldn't give him what he wanted and he couldn't accept any less...so he had no choice, he left me. I got the token "we'll always be friends, but I can't be with you anymore" speech and then he was gone. I don't know for sure when he hooked up with Mark. It could have been that same day...they aren't really open about the fine details of their relationship. They are rather open about the fact that they have a relationship though, everyone in the fed is aware of it. Of course if rumor is to be believed their relationship isn't based on love, except the love of close friends. Since Shawn agreed to talk to me I'm going to guess that that is basically true. I guess if he wasn't looking for love after we split up, hot sex with Mark would sound like a good deal. I, on the other hand, ended up falling into a string of one-night stands. Amazing how many rookies think a night of sex will get them a push in this company. Yeah, maybe I was a bastard for not correcting their misconception, but I wasn't at my spectacular best then. I was too hurt to care if I was hurting anyone else. Then I happened to run into Chris at a bar. We were both pretty plowed and a night of really hot sex with someone that I'd had an interest in before sounded like a really good idea, except it didn't end there. We got together the next week...I issued the invitation to come back to my room and he accepted. The more we got together, the more I wanted it. I didn't even realize I was getting attached until I went to his room one night and he didn't answer the door. I was...irate to put it nicely. After confronting him the next day about where he had been, we ended up in a relationship. It was great and it kept getting better. If I couldn't be with Shawn, then being with Chris was the next best thing. I wouldn't let those thoughts linger though. Long and short of it is...I fell in love with Chris or I thought I had. There might have been that lingering doubt that it wasn't as good as what I'd had with Shawn, but since I couldn't have Shawn it was the best that I was going to get. Looking back on it now I know that that wasn't really fair to either of us, but at the time I was in too much of a panic over having fallen for Chris to take note. That's when the whole debacle with Randy happened. Things went from bad to worse and then Chris left me as well. I can't blame him though...I'd have left me if I were him, too. I spent the next six months trying to talk to Chris. Not hoping that he'd take me back, because that was pretty much an impossibility, but just to explain things to him. For some reason I wanted him to know that even though I was a bastard, I wasn't as big a bastard as Randy had painted me to be. I couldn't get near him though. If he wasn't with Jay or Dave, he and Adam were attached at the hip. It was pretty damn clear that I wasn't going to talk to him unless it was what he wanted and he didn't. Not once in all those months did I get a moment alone to talk to him. Imagine my surprise when he showed up at Dave's hotel room this morning...alone. Of course at that point I didn't realize that he was looking for me. That's when I told him that I'd fallen in love with him and that's why I'd cheated on him. Yeah, it doesn't make sense, but it did at the time...to me anyway. Dave interrupted that conversation, but we did finish it at the reception hall...Chris pretty much insisted on it and I'm damn glad that he did. We cleared the air on a lot of things and he's the one that pointed out that I couldn't be 'in love' with him because I was still in love with Shawn. Chris is a genius. He was right of course. Me, I'm not so much the genius. I asked him if I could kiss him goodbye and the shit hit the fan, because Adam, his new love interest, caught us in the middle of said kiss. That was...really not good. Adam has a bit of a temper and Chris was pretty sure that he wasn't going to just calmly listen to an explanation. To make a long story short...a group of us tried several different tactics during the reception to give Chris a chance to tell Adam the truth...none of which worked out. Finally Jay kicked them both out of the reception and sent them back to the hotel to talk. I really do hope they work things out. Even if I'm not in love with Chris, I do still care about what happens to him and I want him to be happy...really. Chris told me that I should try talking to Shawn and I thought I should call him sometime...only he had shown up at the reception with Mark. Despite not wanting to piss Mark off, for obvious reasons, I did ask Shawn if we could talk tonight. He agreed, which means he might be willing to give me a second chance. God, I hope so. Mark...Mark really surprised me. I mean he and Shawn have been lovers for...quite awhile, though I'm not sure exactly how long. I know he really cares about Shawn, but apparently Mark is aware that Shawn still has feelings for me and apparently Mark has feelings for someone else as well. He caught up with me after we loaded the gifts in the cars so that we could ship them to Jay and Dave's new house later. I got the standard "Deadman" warning...that being if I hurt Shawn again, they wouldn't be able to identify my body. That was only slightly better than Adam's threat earlier in the night when he thought I was back together with Chris. At least if Mark kills me they will be able to find my body. What can I say...I'm a popular guy. Before I could talk to Shawn, I had to take Dave and Jay to the airport. Adam was supposed to do it, but since Jay sent him on his way the job fell to me. I didn't mind doing it, but I really wish the drive were shorter. I'm nervous as hell. I really hope that I can convince Shawn that I'm being sincere. Of course the fact that I'm actually going to tell him that I love him is a change for me. I never said it. I may have shown him in some ways when we were together...alone, but I've never actually said it to him out loud. I'm not sure if that will make any difference, but I can hope so. I can also hope that he's willing to let me prove it. Part 2 *Hunter's POV* I finally made it back to the hotel. Now here I stand in front of the door to room 202 trying to convince myself that I should knock. It's not that I don't want another chance with Shawn or that I'm scared of him, it's more because I'm nervous as hell that I'm going to say or do the wrong thing and toss away any chance at all with him. Of course if I stand him up, he'll most likely brain me with a chair and not in the nice way that we do it on television. So I raise my hand and knock on the door. I can hear his quiet footsteps as he crosses the room, he seems to pause for a moment as if he's not going to actually open it, then the knob turns and he's standing there. He's changed from his dress clothes into a tight pair of worn jeans and a t-shirt. The denim clings to his body in all the right places, as does the snug-fitting cotton. I have a hard time tearing my eyes away from the sight, but force myself to lift my head. I'm immediately snared by the sparkle in his beautiful baby blues. He looks like he wants to laugh, but settles for a simple smile instead. "Would you like to...I don't know, come in or something, Hunter?" That's when I realize that I'm still standing there in the doorway. Smooth move Helmsley. "You look really good tonight Shawn." There's that beautiful smile that I've wanted to see aimed in my direction for a really long time. I take a few steps into the room and remove my tuxedo jacket, tossing it over the back of a chair. I'm not quite sure where my tie got to, so I guess I'll have to replace it. Not that big of a deal really. I'd unbutton a few buttons on my shirt, but I'm not sure I should get too comfortable until Shawn gives me the okay. I'd hate for him to think that I'm just looking to score here, because that's so not it...although if I did you would not hear me complain one bit. It's been way too long since I've had the pleasure of making love to Shawn. Yeah, I can call it that...now. I probably would have jumped out of the bed faster than greased lightning if he'd happened to call it that when we were together before. We fucked, had sex, did the nasty...but we didn't make love. Too much commitment in those words...god I really was an asshole. "Go ahead and sit down wherever. Did you want a drink or something?" Do I want a drink? Yes...it might help this god awful case of nerves I have going, am I going to have one...that would be a no. I want to be perfectly sober for this discussion. "Just water or something, if you have it. That champagne from the toasts was enough for me tonight." Shawn pulls two bottles of water from the mini-fridge and hands me one of them. We both take a long drink as I settle in a chair. The bed looks way too inviting and I'd be tempted to try to coax him to join me rather than make explanations. He obviously doesn't have that problem, because he settles himself on the end of the bed, the water bottle clasped tightly in his hand. I wonder if he's as nervous about this as I am? He has to have a clue why I wanted to talk to him, but he hasn't given me a real clue how he feels about it. My silence isn't getting us anywhere though, so I had better open my mouth and start talking. "Shawn...I'm pretty sure that you have some idea why I'm here, but I guess I'd like to start out by saying thank you for talking to me. I know that I haven't been the best friend to you lately and I'm sorry about that. I just...it was too hard, being close to you, but not really being allowed to be close to you. I miss that. I miss us. Not just the physical stuff, but being your best friend. I know that what happened with us was my fault and I can't change that, but I'm hoping that you might be willing to give me a second chance. Even if you aren't interested in a relationship, I hope that we can be good friends again. Not that I don't want a relationship with you, because I do. I...I still love you, Shawn. I know that I never said it, but I did then and...still do. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things up to you Shawn...just please, give me a chance." Whoa. That was pretty heavy, but it needed to be said and now I've said it. I watched the emotions flit across his face as I spoke. Evident sadness at first...hopefully he missed our friendship as much as I have...that melded into a tiny smile as I confessed my feelings for him. He hasn't said a word yet, he's just sitting there looking at me. I can't stop myself from fidgeting...playing with the label on my water bottle. Should I say something else? Wait? *Shawn's POV* I was right about the reason he wanted to see me. I was hoping...god it's almost too much to process. Finally after all this time... I can feel my eyes misting just a bit over finally hearing him say those three words out loud. I've missed our friendship as much as he has, maybe more. Even if we don't end up as more, I want that back. The idea I was tossing around before he knocked on the door comes roaring back to me with a vengeance. It's a risk...things may not work out. It depends on if he really means it when he says he's willing to do whatever it takes. I'm going to give him a chance to prove it, but there will be stipulations. Stipulations that I plan to stick to even if it kills me. Let's see how far you are willing to go my love. "I've missed our friendship too, Hunter. So many times I wanted to come and ask you why we couldn't still have that, but after the way I ended things I didn't think I had the right. We just kept drifting farther apart and god did it hurt. No matter what else happens, I hope that we can at least get that back. I...I've missed you." I finally look up at him and see the anticipation in his eyes. He's happy that I want our friendship back, but he's still dangling on the line about what else I might want. I guess the best thing to do is be honest about my feelings and then give him my proposal. Will he accept? Won't he? "I still love you, Hunter. I think I always will," I can see the light brightening in his eyes even as I speak. "Even though you never said it Hunter, I knew. When we were alone...you showed me, even if you wouldn't acknowledge that that is what prompted your actions. It means a lot that you can finally say it...but that wasn't the only thing that made me end things...we both know that. I know more about your relationship with Chris than you probably think I do. You followed the same patterns with him that you did with me...keeping everything secret until Randy took that choice from your hands. If it's going to be the same way with us, you know I can't go back to that...it nearly killed me last time, hiding how I felt about you." I wipe away the moisture clinging to my lashes. I promised myself that I wouldn't cry about this, but it's harder than I thought to suppress it. "If you honestly want a chance...things are going to have to be different. You are going to have to be different, Hunter. Can you be? I don't know, but I'm willing to give you a chance to prove what you said...that you are willing to do whatever it takes." He rises from the chair and comes to kneel down in front of me. He takes a turn wiping away the trails my silent tears have formed. His eyes reflect my own pain. I can tell this is hurting him as well. "Shhh. Yes, I do mean it, Shawn. Anything. Just tell me what I have to do." I take a deep cleansing breath and force a tiny smile onto my face. "I know that you can't change overnight Hunter. I'm not going to ask you to. What I want to propose is a trial period... a probation period of sorts. I give you six months to prove that you can change. If you can't then I'll have to walk away again...I don't want to, but I'll have to for my own piece of mind. If you can...then I'll take back all limits that I'm going to set and we can try for that happily ever after that I've dreamt about. Sound fair?" He is looking very thoughtful and just a bit shocked. Can't say as I blame him, but I can't just walk blindly into another relationship with him and hope for the best. "I said anything, Shawn, and I meant it. Um...I have an idea of what I need to change, but you should probably give me specifics so that I can make sure I cover everything. I'll stick to the limits...you just have to tell me what they are baby." I know he's not going to be thrilled about my specifics, unless he's done a total 180 in the last day. I also know that he's not going to be too excited about my limits, but I will enforce them...because I have to. "I want you to acknowledge the fact that we're together Hunter. Not to the public...not even to everyone in the back. Just to our friends...Mark, Adam and Chris, Ric, Jay and Dave...Sean...Kevin and Scott," I finish quietly. That hurt the most before I think...that he wouldn't even acknowledge our relationship to our closest friends. Kevin and Scott knew about us, but not because Hunter ever said anything to them. I spilled the beans and then made them swear that they wouldn't talk about it, or ask him about it. Kevin, Scott, and I had some huge arguments because I wouldn't let them confront him about his behavior. "I don't want to have to hide things from them like the last time. I'm not asking you to kiss me in the middle of the hall, but if we happen to be around other people and I touch you, I don't want to have you flinching away from me like I'm a damn leper." I think that was the hardest part of our relationship before. In private we were all over each other every chance we got, but in public if it wasn't in a script that I was supposed to touch him, he shied away from me. "I don't expect it to happen right away. That's why I'm giving you six months to get comfortable with it, but I won't budge on this, Hunter." I can tell he's not ecstatic about the terms, but I won't give in. I think he realizes that. He nods signaling his agreement. Now here comes the fun part and I'm expecting a few objections. "As for the limits..." Deep breath. "Until the specifics are met - no sex." "Shawn..." His voice communicates my own internal whine. Hey, I'm not thrilled about it either. Sex with Hunter is, to borrow a phrase, that damn good. Let's just say that I'm hoping it will be enough incentive for him to make the change that much sooner. "No, Hunter." I fix my face sternly. He has to know that I'm serious about this. "No sex...of any kind." He falls into a dejected slump. I'm sure he was hoping it would be easier than this. "Am I at least allowed to kiss you, Shawn?" Wow. That's it? He's actually going to give in that easily? He must really be serious about doing anything that I want him to. I can't help but play devil's advocate though. Does that make me an asshole? Most likely. "If I say no...are you going to change your mind about wanting this?" If possible he slumps even further in front of me. I'm feeling a little bad for doing this to him. His quietly whispered "no" has me on the floor and kneeling in front of him in an instant. I can't believe he'd actually still want me if I cut off even that limited intimate contact. "Then in that case," I say as I tilt his head up with my fingers under his chin, "yes, you can kiss me all you want to." I press my lips against his and he whimpers. He pulls me into his lap and proceeds to kiss the breath right out of me. How I've missed this. I love his lips. I'm rather proud that he didn't even try to cop a feel. *Hunter's POV* "...I...I've missed you." Thank god. No matter what happens...at least we can work towards being friends again. I've missed that. I'm happy, but at the same time I'm still waiting to see what else is going to happen between us, if anything. "I still love you, Hunter. I think I always will." I can't believe that he still loves me. After the things I have done, I don't deserve it. He's pouring his heart out to me right now and I note everything he says. I'm glad that he knew how I felt, even if I couldn't say it. I also know that that wasn't the only reason he ended things. I'm not really happy that he knows everything about what happened with Chris, but he's right...I was following the same patterns. I'm betting he got his information right from Mark...the man knows everything. Watching him try to wipe the moisture from his eyes almost kills me. I know how bad I hurt him the first time around and I'll do anything to make sure I don't do the same thing again. I can change. I walk over and kneel in front of him, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "Shhh. Yes, I do mean it, Shawn. Anything. Just tell me what I have to do." Probation? He wants to put me on probation? Somehow this is not the scene I pictured when I asked to come here tonight, but...I guess I can't blame him. I meant anything and I tell him so. I just hope I can give him what he wants. So I ask for specifics because I don't want to miss doing something and have him toss me back out of his life. I have a bad feeling about those limits that he mentioned. Please don't let them be what I think they are...it has been so long... He mentions wanting to tell our friends and I guess I can't blame him there. It may take me awhile to get used to the idea though. Chris...Chris already kind of knows that I wanted this and I would be comfortable telling him about it. Why it's different with him, I don't know. I'm not sure why I have issues with being open about this. I'm guessing it's somehow related to my childhood...isn't that always the excuse? Maybe it's the fear of everyone finding out and thinking differently about me. I did hide the fact that I'm into guys by having "relationships" with both Steph and Joanie...platonic relationships...but very few people know that. A coming out of the closet issue? It's possible. Whatever it is, I'll have to deal with it, because I know that this is my last chance with Shawn. If I mess it up I won't get another chance. I nod because I'm not sure I can speak right now. The fact that I used to treat him that way makes me feel ill. I'm an even bigger bastard than I thought I was. I never even realized that I pulled away from him. I can't believe that I hurt someone that I love that much. When he mentions limits, I listen closely. I won't cross them...whatever they are. I just hope that it doesn't involve... "No sex." "Shawn..." I can't help the whiny tone in my voice. It's going to kill me to be that close to him when we're alone and not be able to touch him the way I've been fantasizing about since we split up. I remember how good we were together. Maybe... "...Of any kind." There goes that idea. I swear to god that he's reading my mind. How the hell does he do that? I slump down on the floor. This is going to be so damn hard, but if that's what I have to stick to... Wait, he didn't mention kissing, did he? Because if that's included, I may just go hang myself. There is no way that I can be around him all the time and not at least do that. "Am I at least allowed to kiss you, Shawn?" I wait tensely for his answer. "If I say no...." I'm dead. I slump further down in my position at his feet and think about ways I can stop myself from wanting to kiss him. No ideas at all...but I have to take this chance with him. "No." Then he's kneeling in front of me and he kisses me. Yes! Thank goodness. I should grouch because he was obviously playing to see how far I'd go, but I'm too damn happy to argue. I pull him up on my lap and kiss him long and sweet. God how I've missed his taste...the feeling of him in my arms. I wonder if I promise to behave myself if he'll let me sleep over...just to sleep. It will be a form of torture, but I'd suffer through it just to hold him all night. Part 3 *Hunter's POV* So here we are...three months into my "probation" and if this were a job and I were judged on my performance thus far? Yeah, I'd be standing in the unemployment line. I'm really surprised that Shawn hasn't put his foot down by now. Out of the things that I'm supposed to accomplish during my six month as a trial boyfriend, I've done, oh...zilch. Why? I don't know. On second thought, that's not strictly true...I have told Chris and by proxy Adam. Those two share everything and I couldn't ask Chris to keep it from Adam. Other than that I've told no one. Maybe it's because I think they'll all look at me differently. Adam sure does. I've been getting death glares from him for that last month. Chris does too. Only his seem to be more looks of pity than anything else. Whatever the reasons, they've both changed how they act around me. Do I really want to take the risk and tell anyone else? No. Shawn is changing slowly. He's lost the bounce, the sparkle that he first had when we got back together. The way he's acting right now is worse than it was just before we broke up the last time. His performance on the show hasn't suffered, consummate showman that he is, but backstage he's listless, he doesn't smile, he's just...sad. I know that it's my fault that he's hurting, I just don't know what to do about it. Everyone would say it's so easy to figure out, but they aren't in my shoes. They don't know my fears. Just in case you were wondering, he has enforced that 'no sex' rule with a vengeance - well, maybe not. We kiss, in fact we kiss a lot, when we are alone. We sleep wrapped up in each other every night. There were a couple of times that we kind of drifted into extreme petting and I thought for sure that he'd give in...but he didn't. I've had to take some really cold showers. I can deal with it though...I just wish I could make him smile again. I've just finished a promo and I get back to my dressing room to find that Shawn's not here. He probably had his own promos to do. I sit down in a chair and try to decide what to do. If I don't do something then Shawn will walk away from me in three months. He's a man of his word, always has been. I'm pulled from my internal musings when the door slams shut. My head snaps in that direction and I find Chris leaning against the door, shaking his head at me with that look on his face again. It's not because I'm seeing another guy, I know that much. Not with the way he and Adam carry on backstage. It's so disgustingly cute that I've honestly considered getting sick on occasion. No one else seems to mind their antics either. "Are you trying to get Shawn to break up with you? I swear to god, Hunter, I just don't get you at all. You get a second chance...a second chance at the greatest thing that could ever happen to you and you're going to piss it all away...again." I look at him sadly. I know he's right. I just don't know what to do about it. Maybe it's time I ask for help. I know he'll give it to me. All I have to do is ask. So I do. *Shawn's POV* I hate this, I really do. I'm so close to being back in that place I was just before I left Hunter the last time. I know I promised him six months, but I honestly don't know if I can make it that long. Every time I see the other couples in the locker room - Jay and Dave and especially Chris and Adam - another little part of me dies inside. I don't expect Hunter and I to act like them - especially Chris and Adam, they don't really care who else is around when they're performing tonsillectomies on each other - but I still can't touch Hunter in front of anyone else at all without him trying to put the length of the whole room between us. Right now I'm hiding out in one of the back halls of the arena. I saw Adam and Chris on the way back here and the looks of pity in their eyes - I hate that too. I know they feel bad for me. I'm pretty sure that Hunter told Chris about us and Chris told Adam. That's kind of what I wanted, but it's not enough. Should I be pissed that the only one that he's told is the only other man that he's claimed to love? I'm not jealous. I know that Chris would never hurt Adam by messing around with Hunter. I used to have the same confidence that Hunter wouldn't do that to me either, but then I think about that whole situation with Randy and I'm not so sure. This is so fucked up. I really like Chris. I adore both him and Adam. I just hate feeling like an emotional cripple when compared to them. They have this completely loving relationship that they proudly showcase and I can't even get Hunter to let me hug him in public...well not "public" public...just the public of the backstage, if you know what I mean. I'm feeling bad enough about this that I'm tempted to call Mark just so I can talk to him. There are two reasons that I'm not going to do that. First, he'd kill Hunter or at least maim him. I know all about the warning that Mark gave him the night of the reception. I'm not quite ready for him to enforce that warning, so I can't go crying to him, yet. Second and more importantly, Mark is having relationship issues of his own. He and Randy had a huge blow out over the weekend. Randy, the little shit, has started to change...no, really he has. I suppose I shouldn't call him that anymore...he's almost bearable now. He's stopped hanging out with the other 'think they are all that' rookies and has actually tried to make amends with Chris...I'm not sure if he's succeeded or not, but Chris hasn't killed him yet. So anyway...that's part of the reason I'm hiding out here. Randy came to me earlier and asked me for relationship advice. Bad move there, Randall. I'm the last person he should have come to. Except I know Mark...better than almost anyone. Adam is probably the exception to that. Apparently Mark and Randy haven't had sex in the last three months either. That was the crux of their argument. Mark is refusing to "do the deed" until he's 100% sure that Randy is sincerely interested in some sort of commitment. Not necessarily a ceremony like Jay and Dave had, but he at least wants to know that Randy isn't going to be bed-hopping while they are separated. Says he's too old to put up with someone that's going to be jumping into bed with the first pretty face that comes along. Don't blame him at all, but still...the Deadman turning down sex? Never thought I'd see that day. If Randy is coming to me for advice, he must be serious. So I told him to plan something special for the two of them to prove to Mark that he is serious. So he's going to fill their room with stargazer lilies, Mark's favorite...yes I do know that sounds weird, but it's true. After a lovely dinner he'll take him back to the room and among the flowers he'll give him some sort of token...not sure what yet, I left that up to him. If he's seriously interested in Mark, then he'll figure out something appropriate. I'm actually hoping he manages to pull it off. At least then Mark will be happy and someone will be getting some. Of course that just brings me back to my own problems. I'm leaning against the wall contemplating whether or not I should remind Hunter that he only has three months left to make good on his promises. Waiting that long will probably kill me. There have been a couple of times that I almost broke my "no sex" rule. We start off kissing and things just get a little bit out of hand...or in hand as the case may be. I can't help it. I want to give in. I want him, but I can't have him...not until he faces his fears...not until he wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him. I know what his fears are and as much as I try to convince him that he can overcome them, he hasn't. I'm not sure he ever will. I hear a noise at the end of the hall and look up to see Ric just standing there watching me. Believe it or not, he and Al actually decided to give the whole relationship thing a try. Other than Ric's incessant "head" jokes, they are almost cute together. I swear that thing hasn't been to so many WWE events in years. Luckily they aren't the overly affectionate types in public. That would just scare me for some reason. Without saying a word, Ric turns and walks away. That's kind of weird. Then again...maybe it's not. *Hunter's POV* "I don't know what to do, Chris. I mean, I do know what he wants me to do, but I don't know if I can do it. I know that other people's opinions shouldn't matter to me...I know that, but for some reason it does matter. Telling other people about Shawn and I...I don't know if I can handle the way people will treat me after that. Look at Adam. He and I never really got along, but I swear the last month that he practically loathes me. So what changed other than you telling him about Shawn and I? Hell, even you've changed lately. I can't handle all of my friends, what few I have, reacting that way. So tell me what I'm supposed to do, Chris?" I can't even look at him right now. I feel like such a bastard for letting other people control the way I live my life, the way I behave with Shawn. "Do you love him, Hunter? Really, honestly love him? Or was this all just to save face when I wouldn't take you back?" Suddenly I'm looking at him and I can't look anywhere else. How in the hell could he think that? "Of course I love him Chris. You know that I do. I just...." I don't know what else to say. That's okay though apparently because Chris isn't done with his comments. "I don't know, Hunter. I thought you did. I honestly did, but with the way you act around him sometimes, I'm not sure. Adam...I told him the same day you told me...the day after the reception. The reason he acts the way he does around you now...it's because of how you act around Shawn. He is all for telling Shawn to dump your sorry ass. He doesn't expect you to throw yourself at Shawn in the middle of the hall, but you walk away from the poor guy any time he touches you. That is why Adam is treating you like scum, Hunter. He's pissed off because you keep hurting Shawn, not because you're with him. Me, I just feel sorry for you Hunter." Adam's pissed at me because I'm hurting Shawn? Let him join the club because I was the very first member. At least that explains why he leaves a room any time I show up now. Shaking his head, Chris comes and sits down next to me. "Look at it logically Hunter. The people Shawn wants you to tell...none of them are going to care that you're dating a guy. Adam and I?" he says with a snort, "obviously with the way we act, it wouldn't matter to either of us one bit if you did kiss Shawn smack dab in the middle of the hall. Jay and Dave? They're only slightly better than we are so...yeah, no problem there either. Sean? He's been with more guys than either of us could probably count and you know it. Mark? You can bet your ass he already knows. You just better hope that he doesn't realize how unhappy Shawn is right now." He looks at me for a moment and I realize that there is only one couple left that he hasn't mentioned. Couple...god, am I that stupid? "Kevin and Scott? As long as they've been together? Do you honestly think that they are going to treat you any differently? I'm guessing that as long as you and Shawn are happy, they are going to be thrilled." I know he's right. About every single person. So why am I still hesitating. "I'll bet you that Ric already knows. Wily old man that he is...he sees more than any of us ever give him credit for. As far as the rest of the people in the back? Who cares? If they haven't come crawling out of the woodwork after some of the displays that Adam and I have put on...most likely they won't even register you holding hands with Shawn as a blip on their radar." Again. I know that he's right. It all makes sense. I just need some time to actually wrap my mind around the facts. "Has...has anyone said anything to the two of you?" I'm curious, so sue me. I heard that they got caught getting a little frisky in the showers last week. If anything would draw out the bigots, it would be that. He shrugs and gives me a smile. "No one that matters. Unless you particularly care about the opinions of Maven or Carlito. Though I think Carlito's objections are more a personal thing. He's still holding a grudge because Adam helped toss him from the reception." I smile in return. "No, I can't say that either one of them registers high on my list of necessities for a happy life." Looking at things from this perspective, maybe I can do this. I probably won't be as high on the PDA as Adam and Chris, but then those two are the extreme. "I'll tell you what Hunter. Adam and I are going to kidnap Shawn today after the show. Give him a nice time out. You are going to go back to the hotel and actually think about this...about you and Shawn and what you can actually give him. If you can't find your way to ever telling anyone? You'd be better off to tell him now than let it drag out another three months." When the hell did he get so smart? I almost laugh at that thought. In all honesty, I've always known he was a really bright guy. I'm going to take his advice and take him up on the offer. Maybe I'll grab hold of my balls, not literally, and call Kevin and Scott this afternoon. I wrap my arms around Chris in a hug and press a soft kiss on his cheek. "Thanks Chris. I'll take you up on that. I think...I think I've finally got it now." A loud knock on the door has us springing away from each other and laughing. Thank goodness no one walked in on us just then. We don't need a repeat of what happened before Jay and Dave's ceremony. Adam and Shawn would probably draw straws to decide which of them got to skin which of us. "You're up in ten, Mr. Michaels." Damn production crew. Shawn isn't even here...Shawn isn't here. I wonder where in the hell he's gotten. I should go look for him. Chris smiles at me and heads to the door. "I'll go find Shawn, make sure he's ready for his match, and fill him in on the fact that we're commandeering him for the rest of the day. Think hard Hunter." With that he's gone as quickly as he arrived. Now all I have to do is make it through Shawn's match and my own and then I'll head back to the hotel for some deep thinking and maybe a phone call or two. I still want to at least see Shawn and make sure he's okay though, so I head out to the gorilla position to look for him. *Shawn's POV* I finally came out of my hiding spot. I'm guessing that my match will be soon and Hunter's is shortly after that. I wonder if he even noticed that I wasn't around? Ooph! From my new position on the floor, I look up to see Chris and Adam looking down at me slightly concerned. Adam reaches out a hand and I take it. "Sorry about that Shawn." "Nah. My fault. I wasn't looking where I was going, but I have to get going. My match should be up soon." "Take it easy Shawn. You have about seven minutes yet. Just saw the gopher hollering for you." I nod at Chris, thankful for the information. "Hey, Shawn, before you go...Chris and I are going out to see a movie today and we wondered if you want to come with us...guys alone playing the tourist gig." Do I really want to be stuck at a movie watching the two of them make out in the back row? Uh...no. "Thanks guys, but I think I'll just call it an early day." We haven't had much sleep since we came over on the plane, so a nap wouldn't really hurt at this point. They both look at me and pout. I did mention that I adore both of them, didn't I? "We promise we'll behave. We'll even sit up front. Since it'll be in Japanese, we can make up our own subtitles. Come on, it'll be fun!" C'mon Chris, don't do this to me. "Oh! I got it! We'll spring for popcorn with tons of butter and a box of peanut M&Ms." Adam, you smug little bastard. He knows me too well. "Okay, fine. You win. Movie after the show. Now move so that I can go have my match." They both jump out of my way with a flourish. I shake my head and hurry down the hall to the gorilla position. I stand by the monitors, watching the end of the tag team title match. Smart of Vince to give the win to Tajiri and Regal considering where we are. As the crowd goes nuts, I turn to the left to watch for their exit through the curtain and spot Ric staring at me again. Either he's turned stalker on me or he's got something on his mind. Maybe he thinks my hair would look good on Head. Shudder. Scary thought. I'm about to ask him what's going on when Hunter steps right in front of me. I jump and clap my hand over my mouth to stifle a scream. "You okay Shawn?" At least he's actually concerned, though I notice the safe distance that he keeps between us. Can't seem too worried about me now, can he? I mean god forbid he might actually touch me because he just scared the living hell out of me. I sigh quietly. "Yeah, I'm fine Hunter. I'd better get to the curtain." I slip past him carefully, avoiding any contact. I hate feeling like this. I don't know how much longer I can take it. Part 4 *Shawn's POV* Lord am I tired, but at least the match came off alright. I'm kind of surprised that I was able to give as well as I did. I also figured out why Ric looked so worried. I was so out of it that I forgot my match was with him. Pretty bad that I didn't even realize he was wearing his ring gear. My first clue came when they played his entrance music. Geez. Hunter's waiting backstage for me so I walk over to him. He hands me a towel but carefully avoids touching me as he does so. That's it. I just can't do this anymore. I turn away from him and walk towards the locker room. He follows a few feet behind me. I know he has a match yet, but honestly I don't care right now. I start packing my things. I'm not even going to bother changing first. I just need to get out of here. I'm sure Chris will let me use the shower in their hotel room. Now I just have to tell Hunter that I won't be coming back to the room tonight...or any other night. I should wait until his match is over, but I can't. I have to do this now or I'll back down the same way I always do. If I have to watch him shrink away from me one more time, I know I'm going to crack. I need to just end this. Hunter's a true professional. So even if this registers on his almost non-existent emotional scale, he'll do just fine. He's working with Adam today and I know he'll make sure that Hunter's safe, because that's what I would want. Dave and Ric will both be out there with him just in case he needs the help. Hunter will have all the support he needs to get through that match. Me on the other hand...if I don't get out of here and I mean right now, I'm afraid I'm going to splinter into tiny little pieces. I feel his hand on my shoulder and it almost makes me want to laugh. Except I'm afraid if I laugh it is going to verge on hysterical and end with a sob. Of course he'll touch me now. We're alone...behind closed doors. It's safe. I shrug away from his hand and finish shoving my things into my bag. "Shawn? Aren't you going to shower? I know Chris was going to ask you to go out with him and Adam, but you have to wait until after my match before Adam will be ready to leave anyway. Are you okay?" How does it not surprise me that he knew about that plan before I did? He touches my arm again and I can't help it, I just explode. I don't want him to touch me now and if he does it again I'm afraid I'm going to do something that I'll regret later. I grab my bag, figuring whatever isn't in there yet can't be all that important, and skirt around him to head towards the door. "Shawn? What the hell is wrong with you?" That's it. The final straw. I didn't want it to come down to this, but it's going to. I can't see our friendship surviving this. I turn around to face him and I know that there are tears in my eyes. I don't want to let them fall, but I don't think I have a choice. "You want to know what the hell is wrong with me Hunter? I'll tell you. I have had it! I can't...I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I know I promised you six months and I know it has only been three, but I just can't keep doing this. I can't stand having you flinch every time it looks like I'm going to touch you in front of someone else. I can't stand having to hide our relationship from our friends. Then the minute we're alone I'm supposed to be happy because you'll grace me with your touch? It doesn't work that way Hunter. I'm not a machine. I can't just shut off how I feel because there happen to be witnesses. You apparently don't have the same problem. So I'm leaving. Leaving us...leaving you. I won't be back to the hotel room tonight or any other night. Just...just send my stuff down to the desk and I'll pick it up later." I know that was probably loud enough for anyone walking by to hear, but I honestly don't care. Don't care...can't feel. I jerk the door open, heedless of the tears running down my face, and walk out into the hall. I manage not to break into a run, which is probably a good thing considering I'm not sure where I'm going right now. I just keep walking. *Hunter's POV* I knew Shawn wasn't happy the moment I handed him the towel. It's not like I meant to actually avoid touching him, but old habits die hard and I'm still trying to work my way through the discussion that Chris and I had. That is supposed to be the purpose of going back to the hotel room by myself today. So I can sort this all out in my head, finally get it on straight. I saw his reaction though. Shawn is really not happy with me at the moment and I don't blame him at all. Chris was right. I do need to get past this. I trail behind Shawn as he heads to the locker room, trying to think of some way to make this up to him. Just because I realize that there is making up to do, does not mean that I'm ready to throw myself at him right here and right now. I need to ease into it. Maybe when Chris and Adam stop by to pick him up later I can ease into it then. Hell, with the displays those two put on they wouldn't blink twice if I kiss Shawn goodbye. I can do this. Once we hit the locker room, I'm all ready to apologize and try to explain things to him, but I don't really get a chance to. Shawn's tossing his things in his bag and is showing no signs of heading to the shower. I know that he's angry and I need to try to calm him down. When he shrugs my hand from his shoulder, I know that I'm in bigger trouble than I've ever been before and I feel like I'm drowning. I need to figure out how to claw my way to the surface here. I try to capture his attention with mention of Adam and Chris and asking if he's okay. That was obviously the wrong approach to take. I know that he's not okay. His upset is radiating off him in waves. When he shrugs away from my touch yet again and heads for the door, I'm swamped with this overwhelming feeling of dread. He promised me time - six months of it - but I have a feeling that my time just ran out. I panic and blurt out what could possibly be the stupidest question that I've ever asked. "Shawn? What the hell is wrong with you?" And he tells me... Lord, does he tell me. "...I have had it! I can't...I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I know I promised you six ...I just can't keep doing this... the minute we're alone I'm supposed to be happy because you'll grace me with your touch? It doesn't work that way Hunter... So I'm leaving. Leaving us...leaving you." Oh god. No, no, no. He's not giving up on me now, is he? But he is. He really is. I can't move, can't think, can't breathe. I have this awful tight feeling in my chest and for a moment I wonder if I'm having a heart attack. But no...it's just my heart shattering into pieces. I waited too long...left it too late. He's done with me and there isn't a damn thing I can do but watch him walk away from me. I want to yell, scream, cry out...anything to make him stop, but my breath hitches in my throat and I don't make a sound. I'm so wrapped up in counting his steps, each one taking him farther away from me, that I don't even notice anyone else. I'm completely unaware of Ric's presence beside me until he speaks and still I'm half distracted with counting those steps...he's just hit one hundred. "Once upon a time...long, long ago...there was a man. He was standing in a doorway, pretty much like the one you're standing in...in an arena pretty much like this one...watching the man he loved walk away from him pretty much like you are now." A pause. I turn my head just for a second and flash a half irritated - half curious look at my mentor. Turning back to look at Shawn I count another five steps before I speak. "I'm really not in the mood for..." "Of course that was back in the day when being in love with another guy was an excuse for someone to end your career in the ring. No tolerance for it like there is today." Another pause. He had my attention now since I had lost track of the number of steps, though my eyes are still locked on Shawn. Just then Shawn turned the corner and headed down another hallway. Turning to Ric, my eyes misted, oblivious to the trail of tears running down my face, I focused on what Ric was really saying. I had to ask. "So what happened?" "That man let him walk away. His career, his friends, the opinion of his peers...they kept him from doing what he really wanted to do. That and the fear that someone would hurt the man he loved. That wasn't an issue though since the man left the company. Couldn't stand to be around me after that." I noticed the slip. Intentional or not? "Would he change it if he had to do it again?" Another question that I had to ask. "Hell yes. If it were today...with so much more tolerance for it, at least backstage...he'd run after him begging and pleading for another chance. He'd do whatever it took to keep him...to love him like he deserved. He'd show him how much he still loved him even after all of these years." I really look at Ric then. How long ago it may have been...or who...I have no clue, but I knew that it was the reason behind the way that Ric was. No commitments...at least until recently with Al. "You and Al...?" A wistful smile from Ric makes my chest lurch yet again. "Al and I are...what we are. There are feelings there, but there's someone for both of us...in the past...that we wish we hadn't given up. We're comfortable and happy, but there are still those 'what could have been's' floating around. For the two of us, it's too late." The sadness in Ric's eyes makes that tightness in my chest pull even tighter. Do I want to feel that way ten years down the road...twenty? Hell, probably for the rest of my life. "For you...? Shawn's a very forgiving man. Do you really want the opinions of a few people, whom you don't give two shits about, to cost you the one person whose opinion means the most in the world to you...the man who loves you? Are humoring a few bigots worth that?" Ric raised his eyebrows and nodded once. Then he turned and started walking away. "Ric? What would he do?" Another sad smile and a jerk of his head in the direction that Shawn had gone. "He'd be running down the hall after him like a crazy man. He'd do whatever it took, Hunter." After another long look at the man walking away from me, I turn and look down the hallway. Ric was right. Chris had been right as well. I can't wait any longer. I have to make a decision now and then I have to live with it for the rest of my life. I could stand here and let Shawn walk away from me...away from us. Or...I could do something about it. I could find Shawn and prove to him that I'm ready. That I could change. That I can love Shawn the way he should be loved. I could... I don't need any more time to think about it. I take off at a dead run. I don't want to slow down, even to turn the corner, but I have to. As I look down the hall, littered with other people and equipment, I realize that Shawn is already gone. I don't see any sign of him. No...he still has to be here somewhere. Heading down the hallway, weaving around people as I go, I call out...hoping that by some miracle Shawn will answer me. "Shawn!" I ignore the looks I'm receiving from the people around me. They don't matter now. Only Shawn matters. I increase my pace, lurching around the obstacles between Shawn and myself...wherever he might be. Calling again and again...I'm not going to give up. Suddenly two hands clamp down on my shoulders, bringing me to a halt. I almost ran over someone in my anxiousness to get to my lover. I don't care. With an extremely irritated growl, I look to see who is holding me...their hands still on my shoulders. As my eyes focus on my captor, I sigh. This isn't going to be easy. *Chris' POV* My head jerks up at the almost violent knock on our locker room door. Vince finally gave up and started giving Adam and I a room of our own at the shows. I guess we do tend to get a bit too enthusiastic upon occasion...even in the communal locker room. In fact, we were getting a bit carried away right now. The knock on the door put an end to that. With an irritated sigh and a last longing look at Adam's mouth, I get up to answer the door. Adam's stretching out on the couch, a 'cat that ate the cream' smile on his face. I just love that look on him. "Yeah, what do you wa..." Shawn's standing outside the door. Oh god. What happened? He's obviously upset, tears tracking down his face. What the hell did Hunter do now? And I know that's what it is. It's what it always is when it comes to Shawn crying lately. "Shawn, are you okay?" Obviously he's not, but he gives me a weak smile as I wrap an arm around his shoulder and draw him into the room. Some people might think it rather weird that I'm the one Shawn comes to when he's upset with Hunter. Ex-lover comforting the current lover...okay maybe that is weird, but it works for us. "What did that man do now?" He doesn't have to ask whom I'm referring to and neither does Adam. Adam's snort of derision is clear from the couch. Despite his trying to get along with Hunt, Adam just hasn't been able to do so. Not with the way Hunter has treated Shawn. "It's not what he did this time. Well...it is and it isn't, but it's more what I did." I cock my head to the side and look at him. What he did? I wait, knowing that there is more yet giving him the time to collect his thoughts. He stares at the floor for another moment before lifting his head to look at me. The pain and grief in his eyes tell me what he's done before he speaks. I guess I can't really blame him. If I were him, I'm not sure I could have even given Hunter another chance. That Shawn lasted this long has surprised me. "I told him it was over, Chris. I just can't do this anymore. I just can't." I pull him into my arms. He doesn't need to tell me what it is that he can't take anymore. I know. I consider telling him about the conversation that I had with Hunter, but decide against it. Shawn's made up his mind and unless Hunter comes up with a miracle...that's the way it'll stay. I imagine that Hunter's feeling lower than dirt about right now. I can't believe that he didn't argue...try to talk Shawn out of it. Actually...yes I can believe it. Hunter doesn't believe in himself right now, let alone have the clarity to convince Shawn to believe in him. It's too bad. They really do belong together. "If you need me, I'll be outside." He moved so quietly that I didn't notice him standing beside us until he spoke. A brief kiss on the top of Shawn's head and one on my cheek and Adam's out the door. Shawn wouldn't have minded if he'd stayed, but I think the happy couple glow that we emit might have been just a bit much for Shawn to handle right now. Shawn cuddles closer to me and I run my hands over his back trying to soothe him. The only problem is that I'm not the one that should be doing the soothing. Part 5 *Adam's POV* It never fails. As soon as I get comfortable with Chris in my lap so we can do a little making out someone invariably interrupts. I know we probably shouldn't carry on like this at work, but I can't help it. If you had Chris all to yourself, you'd be all over him as well. Especially if you knew about that little sound that he makes when he...never mind. So it didn't surprise me when the knock on the door came. What did surprise me was the identity of the person doing the interrupting. Shawn had just finished a match so I expected him to be all cuddled up to Hunter until it was time for my match with him later. Instead we have a very upset Shawn, shedding tears and looking like his world just fell apart. What the hell has Hunter done now? And I don't have a doubt that whatever Shawn is crying over is due to Hunter. We've been here before. Only this time it seems Shawn has had enough. I keep quiet while he talks to Chris. When he informs us that he's finally left Hunter, I can't say I'm particularly surprised. The poor guy has been miserable since a week after they got back together. It certainly hasn't helped my feelings towards the guy. I tried to forgive him for hurting Chris, but I haven't been able to do that. I know...why should "I" have to forgive him at all...it wasn't me that he hurt after all. But I love Chris so much that I'd hold a bit of anger for anyone that hurt him. I even managed to keep it to myself until the first night that Shawn came to our door in tears. I've tried to see Hunter's point of view in this and I just can't. You love who you love and that's all there is to it. Chris and I have to make the sacrifice of not announcing our love to the world...our careers wouldn't survive the exposure and Vince would have a fit. But I could never keep it from our friends. Watching Hunter shy away from any overture that Shawn makes has really pissed me off. I haven't said anything directly to him because Chris asked me not to...but damn do I want to. Which makes working a match with him not exactly pleasant to say the least. I'm not looking forward to it. For now...I think that Shawn and Chris need a little privacy. Not that I'm not sympathetic, but telling Shawn that he's better off without the bastard is not going to be beneficial to the situation right now. Chris is much better at the 'comforting thing' than I am. So I'll just leave them to it. "If you need me, I'll be outside." A quick show of affection for them both and I'm out the door, closing it behind me. I wander slowly up the hall, stopping to chat with Jay and Dave. They must have seen Shawn and the condition he was in because they both look less than happy at the moment. Jay's eyes flit towards the door like he wants to join Chris and Shawn, but he doesn't. We're quietly talking about my match for later that day, my face surely showing my distaste for the man I have to work with, when we hear a shout from down the hall. "Shawn!" Damn. Hasn't he done enough damage for one day? It's Hunter...heading down the hall like his ass is on fire. I can believe it if Shawn lit into him at all. I would have. Now...here's my dilemma: I know where Shawn is, but I really don't want to tell Hunter. I probably wouldn't even consider it, but as he gets closer I take a good look at him. He looks frantic. His eyes are red and puffy like he's been...crying. Hunter, crying? Looks like his whole world is about to cave in on him if he doesn't find what he's looking for. I imagine that it probably will. Without thought I step into his path. I drop my hands to his shoulders just as he's about to barrel into me. He hadn't been paying any attention, looking around for any sight of Shawn. I know Dave and Jay are only a few steps away, staring at us, waiting to see what will happen. He growls before tossing his head my way to look at me. When he realizes who is holding him, he sighs. At least he knows that I won't make this easy for him. "Adam, I don't have time for this. I have to find Shawn." "What if he doesn't want to be found Hunter? Give me one reason why you should be allowed anywhere near him." I'm taunting him. It's evil, but it's not nearly as cruel as his behavior has been in regards to Shawn the last few months. I'm surprised that he actually looks me in the eye while answering me. "Adam...I know that you don't like me. First the stuff with Chris and now because of what's been happening with Shawn. Right now, I don't like myself any more than you do. I knew all along that the way I was treating Shawn was wrong, but I couldn't change it because I was scared of what might happen. Now though...I'm more scared of what will happen if I don't change. I can't lose him Adam. I love him." Wow. How weird is it that I actually believe him? It's a huge leap for him that he's actually admitted out loud that he loves Shawn. Question is...is he already too late? *Hunter's POV* "Adam, I don't have time for this. I have to find Shawn." Christ. Out of all the people to stop me, it had to be the one that hates me the most? What are the odds? "What if he doesn't want to be found Hunter? Give me one reason why you should be allowed anywhere near him." Damn it. I don't have time for this, but I can see that he's not going to let me go anywhere until he's sure I'm not going to hurt Shawn again. I actually respect him for caring...not that I'll ever tell him so. I'm going to have to appease his curiosity. I don't actually expect him to help me find Shawn. I just want him to get the hell out of my way so I can get to him. "Adam...I know that you don't like me. First the stuff with Chris and now because of what's been happening with Shawn. Right now, I don't like myself any more than you do. I knew all along that the way I was treating Shawn was wrong, but I couldn't change it because I was scared of what might happen. Now though...I'm more scared of what will happen if I don't change. I can't lose him Adam. I love him." My eyes go wide as I realize what I've just said. I actually said it out loud and nothing happened. The sky didn't fall on me, the earth didn't open and swallow me whole, no one jumped on me and beat the shit out of me...yet. Actually...it felt pretty damn good just saying it. Adam's still looking at me like a bug on a pin. I'm sure he's trying to decide if I'm being honest or just feeding him a line of bull. Finally he rolls his eyes at me and guides me so that I'm heading in the opposite direction. "Remember that little threat I made at the wedding?" The quiet words breathed against my ear make me shudder. At least I'm not on the receiving end of that evil little smirk or if I am then I can't see it. Damn that creeps me out. I nod, hoping he's not expecting a verbal response...I'd most likely squeak. "Remember that when you talk to Shawn. If you hurt him again..." He doesn't have to finish the implied threat. I remember it. The thought of how exactly he would make me disappear off the face of the earth isn't something I want to dwell on. I also have no doubt that he could actually do it. I swallow harshly, then yelp as he swats me hard on the ass. I turn and glare at him for just a moment before he points towards a door just down the hall. He's actually going to help me? I'm stunned. I hurry over to the door and stop just in front of it. I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to say and it would probably be a good idea to at least have a starting point. Since Chris wasn't with Adam, I have to assume that he's in the room with Shawn. That means that I'll have to get past him first. How weird is it that my ex is likely to guard my current flame like a mother bear protecting it's cub? Taking a deep breath, I don't bother knocking. I push the door open and see Chris on the couch, holding Shawn in his arms and whispering in his ear. There's not the least bit of jealousy when I see them, just heart-wrenching pain. A trail of tears down the side of Shawn's face, he's crying silently while Chris tries to calm him. Knowing that I'm responsible for his condition damn near kills me. If I thought I could live without him, I'd turn around right now and walk out the door to save him any more pain, but I can't. I honestly don't think I can go on without him. "Shawn?" His spine stiffens and I hear a quiet sound, almost like a whimper. God help me. The glare that Chris is shooting at me right now has me close to turning around and running out the door. I can't. Not until I try everything I possibly can to get Shawn back. "I know that I'm probably the last person you want to see right now, but I can't walk away without trying. I won't give up because if I do, then I may as well just lay down right here and wait to die. I can't live without you Shawn. I love you too much to give you up without a fight." "It's too late Hunter. You can't change and I can't wait any longer for something that is never going to happen." He lifts his head from Chris' shoulder and pushes himself to his feet. Taking a step towards me, he shakes his head and then bolts around me and out the door, his voice trailing behind him. "It's just too late." Part 6 *Shawn's POV* I cannot believe that he found me. It's harder to believe that he even tried. "I can't live without you Shawn. I love you too much to give you up without a fight." Why can't he just give up? Why can't he face the fact that he'll never be able to give me what I need? I don't hate him for it, but I can't keep loving him either. I need to get away from him, right now, or I won't stick to my resolution. I'll cave...just like I always do when it comes to him. "It's too late Hunter. You can't change and I can't wait any longer for something that is never going to happen." I look at him for just a moment, a fleeting space of time, and I can feel the urge to give in starting already. I can't do it. I need out. I skirt him and quickly head out the door. Please...please let him realize that it's time to give up. "It's just too late." I make it approximately three steps outside the doorway when I feel his hand wrapping around my bicep. I jerk to a halt and focus my eyes on his hand hoping that he'll get the hint to let me go. Like things could ever be that easy... "It's not too late, Shawn. Don't you dare give up on me now." I jerk my head up and glare at him. "Let me go." It's perfectly clear that I'm not only talking about the hold he has on my arm, but the one he has on my heart as well. "I can't let you go Shawn. You're a part of me...right here." He thumps his free hand against the center of his chest and suddenly my throat tightens. I want to speak, but there is this huge lump preventing any kind of communication. Damn him for doing this to me. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes again and try to pull away. He doesn't let go. "What do I have to do Shawn? What will it take to prove myself to you? Do you want me down on my knees, right here in the hallway, telling you that I love you in front of all these people? Because if that's what you want, then I'll do it." I look up at him, my shock evident, but that's when I notice the quiet murmurs around us. There are approximately twenty people in the hallway within hearing distance; every one of their eyes are fastened on the two of us though some are trying to be discreet about it. I notice Adam standing about ten feet away, keeping a careful watch on the situation. All I'd have to do is give the word and he'd come to my rescue. I can feel Chris' presence behind us as well. Then it hits me...he's just given me what I've been asking for all along. He knew the people were there when he made his offer. He'd said it loud enough that they were sure to hear it. He was touching me in front of other people. True it wasn't in any intimate way, only a means to keep me from running, but it was voluntary. I turn to face him and just stare for a moment. I can see how much he cares about me in his eyes and know that everyone around us can see it as well. "No, Hunter. That's not what I want." He looks almost wary now, probably assuming that I'm going to try to walk away from him again. I drop my gaze to the floor for a moment and when I look back up at him a smile slowly forms on my face. "I can think of a better reason for you to be on your knees than telling me you love me." He looks startled for a moment and then smiles back. Before I can say or do anything more, he pulls me into his arms and kisses me. Kisses the hell out of me to be exact. I'm so stunned that for a moment I don't even kiss him back...then I'm returning that kiss as if it's the last one we'll ever have. My hands clench on his shoulders, my head is swimming, and I can hear the yelling and catcalls in the background. It doesn't matter at all. He pulls back and presses a kiss to both of my eyelids and then my nose. There are tears running down my face, at odds with the huge smile on my lips. He laughs and then wipes the tears from my cheeks. "You are so getting lucky this afternoon, Mr. Helmsley." He looks completely startled. I laugh quietly for a moment before someone slaps Hunter on the back. *Hunter's POV* I can't let it end like this. I can't. I'm immediately out the door after him, having to grab his arm to drag him to a halt. He looks so defeated right now and that hurts so much...that I'm the one that is responsible for that sad look on his face. Irrationally, maybe, I'm almost angry that he's giving up on me when I'm so close to being able to give him what he wants. "It's not too late, Shawn. Don't you dare give up on me now." I see the flare of outrage in his eyes when he looks up at me. Good. Angry Shawn is so much easier to deal with than Hurt Shawn. "Let me go." My breath catches in my throat for just a moment. He's not only talking about letting go of him physically, he's asking me to let him walk out of my life. I won't -- can't -- do that. Ever. "I can't let you go Shawn. You're a part of me...right here." As my hand lands against my chest over my heart, I realize exactly how true that is. If he walks away from me now, he might as well rip my heart out of my chest and take it with him. It'll have the same effect. I can't live without him. I know there are people watching us, some more obviously than others, but right now at this particular moment in time...it doesn't matter. The worst thing that could ever happen to me is Shawn walking away from me and he's already prepared to do that. I've got nothing left to lose. I know in that moment exactly how right Ric and Chris both were. None of those people watching matter at all. The only one that matters is the man I'm trying so desperately not to lose. "What do I have to do Shawn? What will it take to prove myself to you? Do you want me down on my knees, right here in the hallway, telling you that I love you in front of all these people? Because if that's what you want, then I'll do it." And I will. All he has to do is say the word and I'll be at his feet before he has time to blink. I'm fully aware of the reactions of the crowd around us...the whispers. Chris takes one step from the doorway and then stops, waiting for Shawn's reaction. I know if Shawn tries to pull away again that I'll end up face to face with a furious Y2J. I know without looking that Adam's lingering around here somewhere, waiting to see if he needs to carry out his earlier threat. None of them matter. My eyes lock on Shawn, noting his shock over what I've offered to do. He turns to face me and I focus on him with all the feeling that I have in my heart for him. I wait...it seems to take an eternity. "No, Hunter. That's not what I want." He drops his head to look down at the floor and it hits me... Oh god. It's too late. He has given up on me. He's going to walk away. Adam's going to hide me in his trunk and take me somewhere to cut me into itty bitty pieces. I wonder if he'll kill me first? Not that it matters because my heart is already gone. And then Shawn looks up at me, the most radiant smile on his face. Wait. If he's smiling...then he can't be leaving me. Can he? "I can think of a better reason for you to be on your knees than telling me you love me." Has a way with words, doesn't he? Though I have to agree with his statement. Luckily not all of the blood from my body has rushed into my groin, though I have to admit a fair share of it has. There's still just enough making it to my brain that I can understand that he's not walking away. I smile. Then before he can change his mind...again...I pull him into my arms and kiss the living hell out of him. I hear the immediate reaction of the crowd, but it's just background noise. My attention is centered on the man wrapped in my arms right now. He tastes just as sweet as he always has. The warmth of his body cradled against mine chases away the cold, the lingering fear that he was lost to me. His hands are clenching so tight on my shoulders, his nails biting through my shirt, that I'm sure I'll have marks later. It doesn't matter. As I pull away from him, I press kisses to his closed eyes and the tip of his nose. This PDA thing isn't near as difficult as I'd always assumed it would be. The things I'd been so fearful of...the looks of disgust, the cursing, the bodily threats...aren't forthcoming from anyone around us. God. I've been such a fool. No more. I've definitely learned something. Such a contradiction is this man I love. His face is wet with tears, but there's a smile on his lips and once he opens his eyes I can see the glorious happiness in the depths. I can't help but laugh as I wipe away the tear-tracks on his face. "You are so getting lucky this afternoon, Mr. Helmsley." Huh? Does this mean I'm finally off probation? But technically I know I haven't fulfilled all the terms yet. You can bet your ass that that will be my first priority once we reach the hotel. No way am I letting it come back to haunt me later if he gives in before I've met all the requirements. Shawn's laughing and I smile because he's happy. Before I can make a list of what else I need to get accomplished, someone slaps me on the back...hard. I jump and turn to look at the deliverer of said slap...Adam. He's looking at me seriously and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. The guy scares me sometimes. Then he smiles and I immediately relax. "You keep doing stuff like that and I might just have to decide you're not such a complete asshole after all." I can feel my lips twitching. I won't take offense. He was looking out for Shawn's welfare, for which I'm grateful, and I think just maybe I can win him over now that I have my head out of my ass. He turns and hugs Shawn and I just stand there and smile. Chris, in the meantime, has grabbed Shawn's bag from the dressing room and hands it to Shawn. After a hug between the two of them, Shawn turns to me and I'm caught once again by the smile on his face. I grab his hand and start to lead him off down the hall with the intention of grabbing my stuff so we can leave. Only I forgot one thing. "Hey, Hunt? We really should get to the gorilla position soon. We do have a match to do yet today." I growl...can't help it. I'd forgotten all about the damn match. I shoot a scowl at Adam, the one who had to remind me about it, then sigh. I grab Shawn and kiss him again, then turn and hurry down the hall after Adam. I just hope I can get through this match without killing myself. I have much better things on my mind than rolling around in the ring with 'Blondie'. Part 7 *Hunter's POV* The match took way too long. Or maybe I'm just way too anxious to be out of the arena. Having Dave and Ric out there helped keep my mind on my work, but just barely. As soon as Dave and I make it to the back I'm sprinting towards my locker room where I am hoping to find Shawn. I ignore Dave's booming laughter behind me. Is it really so amusing that I'm in a hurry to leave the arena? I guess it could be considering that I'm usually one of the very last to leave. When I get to the locker room, what do I find? Not Shawn, that's for damn sure. Oh god. What if he changed his mind? I'm just about to go into a full-blown panic, am already in the process of turning to go look for him, when I come face to face with him. He was standing right behind me. "Nice match. I watched it with Chris and then hurried down here. Why aren't you in the shower yet? Come on Hunt! I want to get out of here. We've got things to do." The way he just wiggled his eyebrows makes me twitch. "Right. Things to do. Got it. I'm just going to go take that shower now." I really didn't run to the shower...honest. Okay, maybe I did. As I'm standing there, scrubbing the sweat from my body as fast as humanly possible, something occurs to me...we're in Japan. If I were a considerate, sweet, caring boyfriend...I would at least offer to take Shawn out to see the sights. I mean we don't make it here all that often with the Fed and it would be the right thing to do. I war with myself for almost two whole minutes. Sex with Shawn vs. the tourist traps in Tokyo. Yeah. There will always be another trip to Tokyo...right? I finish my shower, dry off, and drape a towel around my waist. Walking back into the room, I find Shawn sitting on a bench, flipping through a magazine. He smiles at me for a moment and then goes back to what he was doing. I'm pretty sure that Shawn doesn't read Japanese so I'm assuming that he's keeping himself occupied so that he doesn't jump me while I'm getting dressed. That thought makes me dress much faster. I'm finally ready to get out of here. I grab Shawn's hand and practically drag him from the room, the magazine falling haphazardly from his hand to the floor, his laughter floating behind us. I'm honestly surprised at the number of people that wave and call out wishing us a good night. It really was that easy...wasn't it? We have a driver to take us back to the hotel, thank god. I really wouldn't want to try to navigate unfamiliar streets right now. Shawn keeps making me laugh by leering at me. God, I love him. Which reminds me... I whip out my cell phone...damn is this going to be expensive, but I did promise myself that I was going to take care of everything before I give in to Shawn's plans for the night. Shawn looks at me oddly as I flip through the phone register. I push a button and suddenly the phone is ringing. I switch it over to the speakerphone. We have the partition up for privacy, but Shawn knows better than to try to jump me in the car...I'm not that comfortable yet. Suddenly Sean's voice echoes through the small space. "Hunt...why the hell are you calling me at midnight?" Oops. I'd forgotten about the time difference. Besides...since when does Sean go to sleep before 2 am? Double oops. Maybe he wasn't sleeping. "Just thought I'd call to say hi, Sean? Is this a bad time?" I'm so evil. "Hunt..." The growl tells me all I really need to know. Shawn laughs and grins at me. "Hey, is that Shawn? Where the heck are you guys?" "We're in Tokyo. Actually the reason I called..." I grin wickedly at Shawn as I consider my phrasing. "The reason I called was to tell you that I love Shawn and that we're on our way back to the hotel room now to have role-play sex. I'm going to have Shawn dress up like a geisha and do some really kinky things with a pair of chopsticks." "Hunt...you asshole. I'm trying to get laid here so if you don't mind...quit goofing off and tell me why the hell you called." It's just too much. Shawn and I are both laughing. In fact, Shawn's laughing so hard he's got tears in his eyes. "I'm not goofing off. Okay, maybe the part about the geisha thing was a bit much, but the rest of it is the truth. Honest." Shawn's still laughing. There's a moment of stunned silence from the other end of the line...at least I'm assuming that's why it's gone quiet all of a sudden. Then there's a loud laugh from the other end. "Seriously? Can I just say that it's about damn time you got your head out of your ass? Congrats Shawn. Make him beg...really. Now...if there's nothing else, I'm going back to what I was doing before you called...getting me some. Bye!" There's a loud click, but it's drowned out by the sounds of Shawn's continued laughing. He's sniffing now and wiping at his eyes. "Damn Hunt. That was just...fucking hilarious." He sobers suddenly. "I love you, Hunt." I'm about to reply when the door swings open beside me. Damn. I hadn't even realized that the car had stopped moving. I smile at Shawn and climb out of the car with him right on my heels. We grab our gear from the sidewalk where the driver placed it and hurry into the hotel. *Shawn's POV* Hunt's match with Adam was good. I probably would have appreciated it more if I weren't so anxious to be alone with Hunter. Chris laughed at how distracted I was during the match. He called it 'mooning'. I think he's nuts. After the match was over, I hurried down to Hunter's locker room. I caught the momentary flare of panic on his face when he turned around. I can't blame him for it...I did almost leave him earlier. Instead of acknowledging it, I steer him in the direction I want him to go...which is the shower...quickly. I flip through a magazine while I wait even though I can't understand a word of it...okay, maybe a word or two. I think it has something to do with architecture. Who cares? Once he comes out of the shower, I keep my nose buried in that magazine. If I see him naked, I would jump him right here and now. Granted Hunt did kiss me in the hall earlier, but even I'm realistic enough to realize that he's not ready for sex in the locker room. I don't think I've seen Hunter get dressed that fast before...ever. I can't help but laugh at the way he drags me out to the parking lot. He holds my hand the entire way through the arena and even surprises me by acknowledging some of the people wishing us well. I think he's really surprised that there haven't been any negative comments thus far. Maybe he heard so many horror stories from the past that he didn't realize how much things have changed? Maybe it was something to do with his own past? I'm not sure, but it seems as if he's accepted that it's not going to hurt him to show how he feels. Granted, we can't do this sort of thing in public, but that's a given. Vince would have a cow. Once we're in the car, I keep my hands to myself. I know that he's not ready to go for making out in the back of a car yet either. We'll work up to it later. Still I can't keep everything under wraps, so I spend a few minutes leering at him. God, I want him. It's been so long. I know, I know. It's my own damn fault because of the limits I placed on him, but now that they are no longer an issue...I'm going crazy trying to keep my hands, amongst other things, off of him. I have it all planned out. All I have to do is wait until we make it through the hotel room door, then wham...he's mine. I'm about ready to start whispering obscene ideas to him when he pulls out his cell phone. He's making a phone call? Now? He could be doing other things, damn it. Like thinking about he and I naked for one. Of course as soon as I hear who is on the other end of the line I quit pouting. The call that ensues is just...the funniest damn thing I've ever heard. At one point I'm laughing so hard that I have tears in my eyes...again. I didn't think I had any left, but at least this time there is a happy cause for them. I'd almost say 'poor Sean', but Sean gets laid more often than the other four of us put together. No joke. "Damn Hunt. That was just...fucking hilarious." It was, but at the same time it was unbearably sweet. I honestly didn't think he would do it right away. I let him off the hook at the arena and yet he still made a point of making that phone call. "I love you, Hunt." He doesn't say it back, but this time I'm not worried that it's because he 'can't' say it. Saying it in front of the driver would have been a bad thing. So we grab our bags and hurry through the hotel lobby. I stare at him from the time we enter the elevator until we reach our floor and I'm pretty sure he has no doubt at all what I have on my mind. The trip down the hall to our room is executed just as quickly. I'm swiping the card through the reader when I realize he's flipping through his phone register again. Now what? I push him ahead of me through the door even as the phone rings for the first time. "Hunt? Hang up the phone." I've already tossed my bag on the floor and am advancing on him like a tiger stalking its prey. "No." I grab his bag from his shoulder and toss it in the same direction where I'd left my own. My brow raises as the phone rings a second time. "No?" "No." I growl and grab hold of the front of his jeans, popping open the button and finding the zipper even as the phone rings a third time. I'm beginning to think the phone call is irrelevant as no one's answered yet and I work on sliding Hunt's jeans down past his hips. Just as I drop to my knees in front of him, the ringing stops. "What's wrong?" The slightly irritated voice on the other end of the line makes me smile. Well... that's part of it; the other part is because I'm now face to face with Hunter's cock, which is standing proudly at attention. Just as he opens his mouth to answer Kevin, I slide my tongue up his heated length. Hunter yelps. Part 8 *Hunter's POV* We make it to the hotel room in record time. I'm not sure who is in a bigger hurry...me or Shawn. Halfway down the hall I realize that if I don't make the call to Kevin and Scotty now, I won't get it done. I grab my phone and flip through the register while Shawn's opening the door. Then Shawn is pushing me through the door just as the phone starts to ring. "Hunt? Hang up the phone." Shawn's looking at me like I'm an all-you-can-eat buffet. It's all I can do not to swallow my tongue. He's beautiful like this...so happy he's practically glowing, his eyes all dark with need. I want to give in to his demand, but I don't dare. I have to do this before anything happens. "No." He grabs the bag from my shoulder and sends it flying across the room. Not at all impatient is he? His brow quirks up and it's obvious he doesn't intend to wait until this call is over. "No?" Come on Kevin! Pick up the damn phone already. I don't care if he and Scott are having sex, he damn well better answer his phone so I can have some, damn it. Uh oh. Shawn's really looking impatient now. "No." He growls at me and it's all I can do not to laugh. Shawn likes having his way and most of the time I like letting him have it, but not this time. I will stay on this phone if I have to let it ring fifty times. His hand slips into the waistband of my jeans and he pops open the button. God help me. The zipper is lowered in less than a second and before I know it the top of my jeans are down around the vicinity of my knees. Speaking of knees...Shawn's now on his. Come on Kevin! "What's wrong?" Thank god. The plan was to soothe Kevin's irritation and then explain the purpose for my call. It doesn't quite work out that way. Just as I'm about to tell Kevin that nothing is wrong, Shawn drags his tongue slowly up the length of my shaft and I can't help my reaction. Talk about distractions! I know he heard Kevin's voice too, so he did it on purpose. I'll pay him back for it later. You can bet on it. "Hunter? Are you hurt? Answer me, damn it!" Shit. Forgot about Kev. "I'm okay, Kev. Calm down." Shawn keeps up with his teasing. His tongue circles slowly around the tip of my cock and I groan. "Are you sure? You sound funny." He pauses for a minute during which I emit the most insincere squeak of protest I've ever made. It's difficult to protest Shawn licking my balls and actually mean it. "What the hell are you doing?" That was damn near a roar and I can hear Shawn chuckling. I can also hear Scott asking questions in the background. "Scott, will you quit poking me. Damn it all. I'm trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with Hunter." Shawn and I immediately lose it. Shawn is laughing so hard he falls on his ass on the floor. I can tell that Kevin's getting really irritated. He's doing that heavy breathing thing that he does when he's counting to ten. All of a sudden I hear Scott's voice. Shawn's wiping the tears from his eyes and resuming his former position. Oh man. "Hunter? What is going on? You've got Kev about ready to pull his hair out. I thought I heard Shawn laughing. If he's there, give him the phone." I try to hand the phone to Shawn, but he just smiles at me and shakes his head. I roll my eyes at him and put the phone back to my ear as Shawn runs his fingertips over my bare thighs. "He can't come to the phone right now. He's busy." Scott huffs into the phone and I can hear him whispering something to Kevin. "Busy doing what? He can't take a minute to talk?" Shawn shakes his head and before I can stop him he leans down to wrap his lips around the head of my cock. I bite my lip so I don't whimper like a puppy. I still need to answer Scott too, though I'm considering hanging up. If I did, he and Kev would both kill me the next time I saw them. I'd rather not have that happen since I definitely have something to live for now. Shawn's slowly swallowing my length down his throat so my voice is just a bit shaky when I finally answer. "He's...his...his mouth is full at the moment." Way to go Hunter. Shawn almost chokes. Then he looks up at me, his eyes sparkling. "What?" I pull the phone away from my ear. Scott can be very loud when he wants to be. I realize that there is no chance of me finishing this conversation semi-intelligently with Shawn's mouth wrapped around me. With a reluctant sigh I slip my hand under his chin and lift his head. He winks at me and then stands up before walking towards the bed. He's not finished with his tormenting however. My eyes are locked on him as he slowly strips off his shirt. "Hunter, would you like to clarify that? Because from what you just said it sounded like..." Whoops! Forgot about Scott. Can you blame me? I force my eyes away from Shawn and concentrate for just a moment so I can get this over with. "Scott, why don't you put me on speakerphone and we'll get this cleared up as quickly as possible." I wait a minute until I hear the click and then I can hear both Kevin and Scott mumbling in the background. "Here's the deal...I love Shawn." Stunned silence anyone? "Shawn loves me too." Still nothing. "And as soon as I hang up the phone, we're going to spend hours having really hot sex. Any questions?" "It's about god damned time." I swear they said it in unison. It's kind of freaky. It also says a hell of a lot that Sean, Scott, and Kevin all had the same reactions. Apparently the people I was so worried about telling already had it all figured out. I kind of...no make that definitely feel like an idiot right now. I finally look back up at Shawn and find him sprawled on the bed...bare ass naked. This phone call is so completely over. "I've got to run guys, but we'll call you when we get back state-side. Have a good night." I listen for a moment to their chorus of congratulations, risqué suggestions, and good-byes...then I turn off the phone and toss it on top of my bag. No more interruptions tonight. *Shawn's POV* "What the hell are you doing?" This conversation is already funnier than the one Hunt had with Sean earlier and it's not even half over yet. I'm being a little bit wicked with my teasing, but Hunter's enjoying it even if he looks like he wants to throttle me. I love the fact that I can make him lose his train of thought. "Scott, will you quit poking me..." Oh. My. God. I'm sure that he didn't mean that like it sounded, but considering what I'm doing right now, my mind is firmly entrenched in the gutter. I'm laughing so hard I can't stop and Hunter laughs even harder when I fall over. I finally get control of myself and climb back to my knees while wiping away tears of laughter. My stomach aches now, but that's not going to stop me from what I have planned. No way! He tries to hand me the phone and I'm assuming that one of them asked to talk to me, but I think Hunt should finish this conversation. I shake my head at him and just smile. He rolls his eyes at me...he's so cute when he does that...and puts the phone back to his ear. "He can't come to the phone right now. He's busy." Busy? I certainly am that, though I can't believe that was his answer of choice. It's bound to draw questions. Now...where was I? Oh yeah. Right about here... I wrap my lips around Hunter's cock and hum in satisfaction. God, I've missed the taste of him. I want more...so I start inching him down my throat. So good. "He's...his...his mouth is full at the moment." I've just learned a very important lesson...it's almost impossible to laugh with someone's cock halfway down your throat. They should do a public service announcement about it...don't try this at home. "What?" Wow. That was loud. Scott sounds a bit irritated. Can't imagine why. When Hunter slides his hand under my chin, I finally give in. I don't want to stop what I'm doing, but I do want this conversation over with so we can get to even better things. So I let him lift my head and wink at him. He knows that we're not near to finished yet and as I stand up his eyes are glued on me. I strip my shirt off and walk towards the bed. He'll get the hint. "Scott, why don't you put me on speakerphone and we'll get this cleared up as quickly as possible." I'd say he got it. While he's waiting for Scott to switch the phone, I'm busy getting rid of the rest of my clothes and grabbing a bottle of hand lotion from my bag. I'd rather have lube, but I'd almost given up hope of needing it so I don't have any with me. The lotion will do for tonight. "Here's the deal...I love Shawn." I'll never get tired of hearing him say that. I smile as I jump on the bed, pull a pillow from the top and stuff it behind my head. "Shawn loves me too." Yes I do and I always will. I toss the lotion on the bed beside me and fluff my pillow. "And as soon as I hang up the phone, we're going to spend hours having really hot sex. Any questions?" That's a guarantee! Come on Hunter; hang up the phone already! "It's about god damned time." Awww. Hunt's blushing. I think it's hilarious that Kevin, Scotty, and Sean all had the same reaction. I'm really glad that Kevin and Scotty do not bring up the past. None of that matters now. We're happy and we're going to stay that way. Hunt finally begs off and I couldn't be happier. He tosses the phone on his bag, turns to look at me, and I smile. I finally have him all to myself. I wiggle one finger at him in a come-hither motion. "Get over here, Hunt. You owe me some make up sex and I think it's about time you gave it to me." Part 9 *Hunter's POV* So here I am faced with the sight of one of my most treasured fantasies. Shawn is laid out on the bed, offering himself to me. All I can do is stare for a moment and think about how close I came to losing him...never having the chance to see him like this again...ever. It's been a few years since I've seen him like this. My hair is more blond than his these days, but he's still got the same sleekly muscled body, the same beautiful blue eyes. I'm itching to touch him, but I can't seem to make myself move. "...You owe me some make up sex..." Hello! He motions me towards him. If the motion weren't enough, he's got that 'I want it now' look in his eyes that I love so much. I do what any person in my position would do...whimper. The next logical step, of course, is to get my ass over to that bed as soon as possible. I take one step and end up falling half on the bed before shooting off the side and ending up on the floor. I hear a snort of laughter, quickly muffled, and then a tentative "You...uh...you okay babe?" I'm lying on my back, hands laced over my chest, looking up at the ceiling. If not for my eyes being open I'd look like I belong in a casket...well except for the fact that I'm half naked. It's his fault, damn it! If he hadn't looked so irresistible I would have remembered my damn pants were in the vicinity of my ankles before I tried walking. Those sparkling baby blues pop into view over the end of the bed accompanied by a definite grin. "Whenever you're done lounging around on the floor now, there's something up here that definitely needs your attention." I swat a hand at his head with mock annoyance, but he predictably moves out of the way before I can thump him. I kick my shoes off before sitting up to rid myself of my pants and socks. My shirt quickly follows. I crawl up onto the bed with the exceptional grace that had deserted me moments before. The way he's lying there reminds me distinctly of one of his famous Playgirl poses, except for the notable exception of the missing Calvin Kleins. Once I'm close I drop down beside him, my body curling next to and over his. I wrap an arm around his waist, drape one leg over him so it slides nicely between his own, and bury my face in his neck. His momentary amusement and my momentary embarrassment are both forgotten. I want him so much that I'm trembling. I wonder if he can tell? It would be hard for him to miss with me pressed against him like this. I give myself just a moment to soak up the feel of his warm silky skin where it comes into contact with mine and breathe in his musky scent. God I've missed this. I mean, yeah we've been sleeping in the same bed since we got back together, but it just isn't the same at all. When his hand threads lightly through my hair, I know that my time is up. If I don't do something soon, he's going to think I've lost my mind...or that I don't want him. That couldn't be further from the truth. I slide my cheek slowly against his, drawing my head back until I can look into his eyes. I slip my tongue slowly across his lips, the touch whisper soft. With a slight shift my noticeably interested erection presses softly against his hip as my hand travels from his waist over his chest. My fingers brush lightly over his nipple. It hardens almost instantly and I give it an extra caress before moving on to cup his cheek. His quiet moan is caught by my mouth as it closes over his. And just like that it's like we've never been apart. I still know his body, just like he knows mine. His arm wraps around my waist and he draws me flush on top of him even as our gentle kiss turns into a possession of sorts. I'm just not sure who is possessing whom. Our tongues duel briefly before he allows me to spend a long minute or two exploring every inch of his hot mouth. I re-memorize old territory with my hands, sliding them firmly over his body, taking time to count his ribs before seeking out territory even lower. Some things never change. He writhes underneath me as I trace my thumbs slowly over the sensitive skin covering his hipbones, a reaction I've pictured over and over again in my mind. His hands clench tightly on my shoulders and he thrusts his hips sharply pressing his heated length firmly against my own. I jerk my head back, breaking the kiss, and bury my face against his neck. "Hunter..." His voice is coarse with need and as much as I want to draw this out and make it perfect for him, I don't think he's going to let me take things slowly. In all honesty, I'm not sure I'd survive through it right now either. I find out just how right I am when I tease my tongue along the column of his neck. He growls at me and rolls me onto my back so that he's now on top. *Shawn's POV* Naked...Check. Irresistibly sexy sprawl on the bed...Check. Lotion...Check. Sexy naked boyfriend jumping on me and fucking me through the mattress...er, no. What the hell is up with that? Oh! Lovely little whimper there...definitely want to hear that more often. Yes! We have movement! ...Whoops. You'd think for all that they call him the Cerebral Assassin, that he'd remember his pants were around his ankles. That and maybe, I don't know...the draft. I can't help but laugh though I am nice enough to try to smother it with my hand. I don't think he really could have hurt himself, but it is Hunter so I guess I should probably check. "You...uh...you okay babe?" Nothing...not even a foot wiggling. So I flip over and look over the edge of the bed. Awww. Poor Hunt. I haven't seen him that particular shade of fire engine red in a long, long time. If I let him, he'd wallow in it for awhile. I won't though because I'm too impatient. I've waited a long time for this and don't want to wait any longer. I'm just not cut out for long periods of abstinence, especially when it's Hunter that I’m waiting around for. "Whenever you're done lounging around on the floor now, there's something up here that definitely needs your attention." I roll back towards the pillow before he can smack me in the head...he's so predictable sometimes. The soft thump of his shoes hitting the floor clue me in to what he's doing at the moment. Hey...we're making progress! He sits up and starts shedding his clothes. Yes! We're halfway to naked and fucking me through the mattress...definite progress. He finally crawls up on the bed to find me stretched out once again, the pillow tucked behind my head, hands tucked beneath the pillows, and my legs slightly spread. Hunter curls himself around me, his head buried in my neck. His heated breath wafts over the smooth column and I'm anxious to feel it elsewhere as well. The slight tremors racing through his body are more than obvious and it's a huge balm to my soul to know that he wants me as much as I want him. I thread my hand through his hair in a bid to calm him. I'm not going anywhere. The slight rasp of his stubble against my cheek drives me nuts and he knows it. As he looks into my eyes, I see the same thing I've always seen in the depths of his, his love for me. This time though it's clear rather than shrouded in the panic that was always present before. His tongue slips gently across my lips, the pressure so light that it's like a breath of air. If it weren't for the damp gloss of moisture left behind I'd have thought I imagined it. Then he's touching me everywhere, playing my body like a well-tuned fiddle. His teasing fingers have barely begun to play their song and I'm ready to chime in with a duet of needy whimpers and whines. Or maybe it's the hot length of his shaft branding my thigh. Whichever it may be, I want more of everything. What starts out as a gentle kiss turns wanton...needy...almost desperate. Wrapping my arm around him, I urge him to cover my body with his own. Like a blanket, he's sprawled atop me. The warmth and weight of his body is comforting, yet inflaming at the same time. He takes charge of the kiss, his tongue pushing deep into the recesses of my mouth, taunting and teasing. His hands slide over my ribs and lower yet. He takes advantage of one of my biggest weaknesses by swirling his fingers over my hipbones. I squirm underneath his onslaught, my mouth hungrily devouring his, my hands squeezing tightly from their new position on his shoulders. God, he knows what that does to me. My hips jerk in reaction and force my throbbing length against his own engorged shaft. With a jerk, he separates our mouths, his lips immediately seeking my neck. "Hunter..." I want...I need... He drags his tongue over the pounding pulse in my throat and I simply can't take any more slow and easy. We have all the time in the world for that later. Like a switch flipping inside my head, I know in that moment exactly what I want. When Hunt and I were together before, more often than not I let him take control in the bedroom, but this is a new beginning for us. I want to give to him just like he's given to me. I yearn for the feeling of him wrapped around me as I slip inside him. I need to feel him clenching around me as he explodes in pleasure. With a deep, husky growl I push him to his back, my body following his. Once I'm straddling his hips, I duck my head and nip his shoulder. Hey...that feels...really good. I could just slip right down on top of him and...no, no, no. No wavering, damn it. He can have the next turn! Of course he's still of the impression that he's going to be on top this time or he wouldn't have that big ol' smirk on his face. Time to see how well you beg, my love. I take the time to roll my hips slowly backward, drawing a long moan from both of us. I couldn't help it...it was right there after all, but now it's time to get down to business. He's lost that little smirk and looks almost as desperate as I feel...almost. "Hunt..." A twist of my hips and I've managed to part his legs and slip my own between them. "...Sweetheart..." A quick trip through his navel with my tongue and he gasps quietly. "...My love?" His eyes are firmly locked on my face now in a slightly dazed stare. I reach for the lube and quickly slick my fingers with it. He squirms just the tiniest bit...lovely. "Y...yes?" The tops of my knuckles trail over his thigh and along the underside of his balls. Oh...I love that little whimper. I pause with my fingers just centimeters from his entrance and smile up at him. "I want you, Sweetheart." Another lovely little whimper that sends a spark of fire through my groin. "Can I have you, love?" Just on the off chance that he's thinking of saying no, I circle one finger against his tight hole. "Yes," he hisses. I'm not sure if his answer is in response to the asked question or the unasked one and at this point I really don't think it matters. He's mine. *Hunter's POV* I'm so wired that I can already feel him wrapped around me. The little teases with him rubbing his ass against my shaft aren't responsible...nooo, not at all. I'm thinking I should be looking for the lube and I probably would have, but his voice draws my attention to his beautiful face. "Hunt..." I swear to god my name has never sounded so good. I want to hear him repeat it, over and over. "...Sweetheart..." Although that sounds just as nice...maybe he'll alternate them. Exactly when did he end up between my legs...? Oh god. His tongue should be registered as a lethal weapon. It's only my navel for god's sake, yet I swear it's shooting straight through to my cock. "...My love?" Oh, oh, oh...new favorite. Hands down. Every nerve in my body is singing and we haven't really even touched on the good stuff yet. Although I have to admit that with Shawn it's all good stuff. Now where did that pesky lube get to. Oh. He has it. Does that mean that he...? Oh god. "Y...yes?" Good lord. I sound like a teenager on the verge of his first encounter. Do I care? Nope...not a bit. Shawn seems to like it. He rewards me with another simple touch. Was that me making that noise? I wouldn't doubt it. He seems to like that too. "I want you, Sweetheart." That time it was me...no doubt about it. I want him as well, though I can't say it. Not because I don't want to, but I think all my higher brain functions have ceased. "Can I have you, love?" Can he? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...yes. Oh...right. Saying it out loud might help tremendously. One slow circle with his finger against my sensitive flesh jump-starts my brain long enough for me to get one word out. "Yes." The word has barely cleared my lips when he pushes his finger inside me. God. It's been so long since I've done this and the fact that Shawn's the one touching me just intensifies the sensations. Good...so, so good. I can't help the involuntary shift of my hips, wordlessly begging for more. He understands quite well and pushes another digit in up to the second knuckle. My hips jerk. He waits until I relax, my backside settling against the mattress, then pushes forward, his fingers brushing against my most sensitive spot. My hands clench in the cool sheets beneath me, my head thrashes against the pillow, and I moan loudly as he teases that small spot over and over in small swipes with his fingers. I don't care how much it might hurt; I can't stand letting him prolong this foreplay. It's been way too long since I've had relief of any sort and I'm close to the edge of exploding already. "Shawn..." His name falls from my lips, my voice scratchy and deep. I clear my throat. It doesn't help...still deep, still rasping. "Shawn...oh god...please..." He takes pity on me...his brand...which means he's not nearly done torturing me, but he lets me think that he is. His fingers slip from my body. I whimper at the loss. I find myself rolled to the side and he's suddenly pressed up against my back, snuggling close behind me, his hard, hot length settled firmly in the cleft of my ass. A hand slithers under my body, wrapping around to my chest, teasing at my nipples, as he pulls me back tightly against his frame. That's when the torture starts. His voice is smooth as silk, steeped in lust, as he whispers his erotic thoughts into my ear. *Shawn's POV* I had planned on spending a lot more time getting him ready for me, but it's been too long for both of us. I'm almost thankful when he pleads with me, though I'm determined to hold out as long as I possibly can. Hunter's always been an easy touch when it comes to sex talk, so that is the next step in my seduction of him. Rolling him onto his side, I grab the lotion, and slither up behind him. My chest lies flush against his back, my engorged shaft presses firmly against his lush smooth ass, and my mouth is at the perfect level to whisper into his ear. I slip an arm under him, wrapping it around his chest, pulling him firmly back against me as I tweak his nipples. For just a moment I listen to his harsh breathing, smiling into his silky blond hair. My hot breath washes over his ear and neck, words well up from deep inside my chest. "Want you sweetheart...can you feel how much..." My other hand lands on his hip and I draw gentle circles over the smooth curved flesh. His hips buck backwards, bringing him into firmer contact with my hard shaft. His head tips back against my shoulder, his beautiful hazel eyes are hidden by thick lashes, and his lips part on a deep moan. "Can't wait to be inside you...feel you clenching around me..." I reach behind me, feeling around for the lotion. My cock loses contact with his ass as I search. He whimpers...oh so prettily...as his hips thrust back again, searching for the hot press of my flesh against his. I grab the lotion and pop the top with one hand. That stills his body for just a moment. He knows that I'm getting closer to giving him what he wants. "Tell me what you want Hunt...what you need..." I hiss slightly as I rub the lotion on my aching shaft. It's damn cold but it doesn't affect my need or desire in the least. I think what I’m saying to him is having as much effect on me as it is on him. I'm hungry for it now...almost desperate. So is he if the shudder in reaction to a gentle pinch of his nipple is any indication. "Tell me, love...hard and fast or slow and easy..." Shifting my hips back towards him, I nudge his thigh forward with my top leg, resting my thigh atop his. I'm poised at his entrance. The only thing holding me back is his answer. A strangled groan is nice, ya know, but hardly informative. "B...both...just hurry Shawn...now..." Pressing my lips against his shoulder, I push forward slowly, breaching his body. I want to give him time to adjust, but he arches his back and thrusts his hips backwards, pulling me deeper inside his passage. The silky tight heat draws a gasp from me, smothered against his shoulder it's barely audible. His is much louder. I can feel him shift and clench my hand on his hip, holding him still. If I don't take a moment to get myself under control this will be over before it's even begun. I'd forgotten what it was like being a part of him. I nuzzle his hair away from his neck and give him a sharp nip. He growls at me. I smile into his neck when his impatience wins out. "Will you please... move..." The words may be indicative of a plea, but it's not. That's a flat out order. So I move...just enough to be called a wiggle. "Shawn!" Whoops. Guess he didn't think it was all that funny. I just love it when he growls my name like that though. I feel his muscles tensing and I know I’m about to get shouted at. Just as he opens his mouth, I roll my hips...very slowly. He squeaks. I laugh. He growls. It'd make a great soundtrack. If I don't get a move on then he's definitely going to be put out. I don't want that when we just got back together, so I roll my hips again adding a little twist at the end. It's still slow enough that I can feel the pull and clenching of his muscles around me as I move. With the next stroke, I throw in the twist a little earlier and bingo...I've found what I’m searching for. His guttural moan just turns me inside out. I settle into a slow, steady rhythm and with each thrust he offers up more encouragement. The sweet sounds coming from him stoke the fire inside me. Each shudder and shiver just add to the flames. He's enjoying it, yet frustrated at the same time. "More, Shawn...please...more..." I can't deny him anymore...it's what I want too. From a slow, easy roll to a snap of my hips and it all changes. I wrap my arm tighter around his chest, using it as leverage as I pound into him. My hand snakes from its position on his hips to wrap around his engorged shaft. With each thrust of my hips it drives his solid length through my hand. The mattress is squeaking, the headboard bouncing off the wall, and I'm starting to have doubts about the bed's chances of making it through this. Not that I care if it does break...this isn't going to be over...well...until it's over. I'm about ready to do some begging of my own. He's so hot and tight around me, like a silken vice. Still I'm determined to resist the tug of the insistent pressure building in my balls until I've pushed him over the edge first. Luckily I know Hunt's body as well as my own. I know exactly what it will take to give him that final push. With my next thrust, I run my tongue up the bony nubs at the back of his neck latching onto his shoulder with my open mouth. I'm rewarded with a final thrust of his hips forcing his shaft through my hand, his head tilting back against my shoulder with his mouth open in a silent testament to his release. A split second later he shouts, my name rending the air around us as he spills his release over my hand. It doesn't require a single movement on my part to reach my own fulfillment. His wild reaction is all it takes to force me over the precipice. His name is an incoherent plea that passes my lips as I fill him. After a dazed moment, I wrap my arms tightly around him. My smile, buried in his neck, is so bright that it would easily outshine the sun. "I love you, Hunter," I whisper against the throbbing pulse in his neck. "I love you, Shawn," he whispers back. He's on the verge of falling asleep or passing out...I'm not sure which. There's one more thing I need to say before I follow him into slumber... "Mine..." *Hunter's POV* "Want you sweetheart...can you feel how much..." Can I feel it? Hell yeah I can. No way could I miss something that hard prodding me in the ass. There's no doubt in my mind that he wants me. His voice going all soft and sexy like that is a sure sign. He knows what it does to me too...makes me ache for his touch. He's wrapped around me, but it's not enough. I arch into him, seeking still more contact with his lithe body. My head falls against his shoulder and my eyes drift shut, my greedy body relishing the touch of his skin even as I moan in a plea for yet more. "Can't wait to be inside you...feel you clenching around me..." Instead of more, I get less, his smooth hard length withdrawing from its resting place. I react instinctively, my hips thrusting back, beseeching more of his touch. The snapping sound when he opens the bottle of lotion is as loud as the blast from a stick of dynamite, my body stilling in anticipation. I know that I'm that much closer to having what I want and it gives me the fortitude to hold on just a bit longer...but not much. "Tell me what you want Hunt...what you need..." He's kidding right? That sexy drawl has me captivated...holds me speechless, yet he wants me to speak. I'm not at all sure that I can at the moment, but for him I'll attempt anything that he asks. I hear the slight hiss from behind me and I know that he's touching himself...getting himself ready to possess me. I can picture it in my head, his hand stroking smoothly along his hard shaft...oh god. I open my mouth to answer, but no sound will be forced out. I have to say something though. He won't give me what I want until I do. I know him well enough to understand that. He rolls my nipple between his fingers and still I can't say a word, though my body trembles against his. "Tell me, love...hard and fast or slow and easy..." Let's see...what a choice. Like I'm going to object to either? Hard and fast will give me what I'm so desperate for and it will give it to me now. But I've waited so long to have him again, feel him inside me again, that I don't want to rush through it. It will end much sooner if we don't pace ourselves. Slow and easy will also give me what I want, but you can be damn sure that he'll draw it out as long as he possibly can. I'm not sure I have that much patience left, to be honest. My breath catches in my throat as the slide of his thigh forces mine forward, his settling over my hip. The barest brush of his slick head against my entrance forces a strangled whine from my lips, breaking my silence. Thank god. Though I still haven't made my decision. So I decide to just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind... "B...both...just hurry Shawn...now..." Ha! That works. No wonder they call me the 'Cerebral Assassin'. I'm much smarter than I loo... Oh god yes. The slow penetration of my body tosses all thoughts of self-praise out the window. Scratch that...it tosses all my thoughts out the window except for getting more of what he's offering...now. Bucking against him, I force him deeper inside, trying to soothe the burning ache within. It only makes it worse. I'm hoping if I shift just right, it will give me enough to assuage this overpowering need. I twist in his arms, grinding my ass back into his hipbones, but despite the gasp of pleasure it forces from me, it's still not enough. His hand clamps tightly on my hip forcing me to be still. Damn. Forgot the slow and easy bit being a part of both and apparently he's going to enforce what I've asked for. Unless...I ask nicely...maybe. Though I have to admit that the way he's burying his face in my neck is rather nice and it's sending nice little shivers up and down my... Ow! I can't hold back my growl. The little shit just bit me. I'm so getting him back for that later, even though it did feel kind of good in an indulging a kink kind of way. It also had the effect of pushing me to the point where a simple nuzzle against the back of my neck just isn't enough to keep my attention. Why the hell isn't he moving? "Will you please... move..." Now...now I will get what I want. Okay, so maybe I could have asked a little bit nicer, but Shawn loves me so he'll give me what I what I want...what I need. Oh now that is just wrong. I can't even express how wrong that was. He calls that moving? That little twitch? That little jerk? That little wriggle? "Shawn!" I'm just about to let him know the exact definition of the word move, when he figures it out all on his own. And damn did he figure it out well. I wasn't expecting him to comply that easily though and make the most awful sound imaginable...I squeak. That's just not a sound that is ever supposed to pass the lips of 'The Game', though Shawn finds it rather amusing if his laugh is anything to go by. Blasted tease. I don't want him to think it's going to be a regular occurrence though so I infuse all my, you know, manliness into one terrific growl. Much better. It's enough to get him to actually move and make an effort at it. Damn what an effort. Two strokes later and he finds exactly the right spot, drawing a deep husky moan from me. He likes it. I can tell, because he visits that same spot...over and over again. This is very nice...quite lovely in fact. I'm shaking in his arms and it's beyond great, but it's not...enough. I need more...so much more. "More, Shawn...please...more..." My plea is obviously what he was waiting for. The first snap of his hips has me crying out...this, this is what I need. His hard, hot length being buried inside me...stretching me...plundering my depths. His hand wrapping around my throbbing shaft has me crying out yet again. Good...so incredibly good. I feel my release building...getting stronger...it's almost a live entity on its own. Each facet of our coupling feeds it. The sounds of the bedsprings, the headboard bouncing off the wall, the heady smell of arousal, and every point where we touch...all combining...making it grow until it's too big to contain. He knows me so well. With a final furious thrust inside me, a lick along the back of my neck that sends shivers down my spine, and the latching of his lips over the curve of my neck...he throws me headfirst into a blinding light. I writhe blindly in his arms as my release overwhelms me. His name crossing my lips in a roar barely registers. My warm seed splashing my stomach makes even less of an impression. The sound of my name is barely recognizable as he reaches his own fulfillment. If I hadn't been yearning to hear it for so long now, I doubt I'd have been able to pick it out of his incoherent shout. I know though...without doubt...that it was my name. I'm breathing like I've run a marathon, sweating like a pig, and so tired I can barely move, but none of that matters. This is the happiest that I've been in...god, what seems like forever. We're finally together. We're finally back where we belong...in each other's arms and that's all that matters. "I love you, Hunter." I'm so incredibly thankful for that. Thankful that he gave me another chance. Thankful that he didn't give up on me in the end. I would have deserved it if he had. Lucky for me that Shawn's stubborn. That's the thing I'm second most thankful for, believe it or not. The first being the fact that he loves me. "I love you, Shawn." It's so much easier to say it than I ever thought it could be. The things that worried me before just don't matter. Even if someone does get ugly over the issue at work, I won't care. I'll see to Shawn's safety, of course, but it won't hurt me like I always worried that it would. Having him, having his love, is so much more important than that. "Mine..." His sleepy little claim as he cuddles up to me just enforces that decision. He's right. I am his...completely. But we wouldn't be here right now without the help of our friends. I owe Ric and Chris both a huge thank you. I'll even show my appreciation to Adam for the help that he gave me and for the fact that he didn't feel it necessary to dismember me. Very grateful for that. I'll make the effort to try to like him, because I know that is what Shawn wants. Kevin, Scott, and Sean all know the truth now. It will make things much easier for the two of us when we're having those hair-raising Clique gatherings. Though I fear for the sanity of anyone stuck with us in the same place. The sounds could be deafening. And Mark... Oh shit. I forgot to call Mark. Looks like I haven't fulfilled all of the terms of my probation after all. I could do it now...if I didn't mind him taking my head off the next time we see him. It is the middle of the night where he is after all and while I have no problem chancing Scott and Kevin's wrath, Mark isn't someone I'm going to provoke on purpose. No way. Besides, I heard through the grapevine that he and Randy are having a few issues. The fact that Randy is here and he's not probably is not helping matters either. Damn. It'll have to wait. I'll just sleep for awhile and then I'll call him. I'm not giving Shawn any reason at all to change his mind. None. Part 10 *Shawn's POV* We napped for about four hours, but when I woke up I was starving...and not for anything on the room service menu. When there is something I want, I'm not one to hold back so naturally I set about waking Hunter up, in the very best way. He had no objections...not that I thought he would, but he did insist on a few alterations to my plan. Apparently he missed being inside me as much as I missed being inside him and I have to admit that I missed feeling his hot hard length pushing into me as well. It was just as good as I remembered, if not better. It didn't last all that long, but with all that waiting we've been doing I wasn't really surprised. Now that I've lifted the restrictions we'll have to work on our stamina next. With my sex drive temporarily satisfied I'm actually hungry...for food this time, so I convinced Hunt that we should order room service. He took care of it and is now trying to find a pair of pants to put on for when they knock on the door. I'm occupied with staring at his ass. What? Like you're actually surprised by that? Hunt's got a very nice ass...trust me. I've studied it from every possible angle. So anyway...I'm all absorbed in noticing how good it looks, minus tan lines, until I see him stand up with his cell phone in his hand. Now who is he going to call? He called Kevin, Scott, and Sean last night, even though I let him off the hook for the time being and he won't be waking any of them yet again. Adam, Chris, Dave, and Jay were all witnesses to his lovely display at the arena last night so I seriously doubt it would be any of them. I know Hunt. He'll hide for a day or two until he thinks it's safe to face them without them trying to tease him mercilessly about what he did. Of course he ought to realize that they won't forget no matter how long he hides. They've been waiting too long for this to happen. Plus he'll have to face them when we get on the plane in the morning, but I'm not about to remind him of that. So who does that leave? Mark... Oh man. I hide a laugh under the guise of a yawn. This is going to be...so...much...fun. I could tell him that he doesn't have to make the call, after all Mark already knows that we're together. And he did get a partial confession the night of the wedding, but...I think Hunter will feel better if he actually goes through with it. Nothing says I can't have a little fun with this though. Terrible, I know, but considering who I am...not really all that shocking. So I put on the most pathetic version of a pout, ever, and call out to get my lover's attention...Shawn Michaels' style. "Not even a whole day and you're leaving me alone in bed so you can call someone else. And here I thought you loved me, Hunt." Laid it on a little thick there, I suppose, but it got his attention. He spins around to look at me, still completely naked so I get a lovely view, which has me biting my lip to keep from smiling, and does a perfect imitation of a fish. "But..." Yes, Hunter, my love? "I..." Oh...he is flustered, isn't he? "I was just going to call...call Mark." "Mark? You're leaving me for Mark?" Get that Emmy ready. I'm too good. "Here I was, worried that you wanted your ex back, when all the time it was my ex that you wanted?" Trout, a big old trout. "Randy's bound to be disappointed." "I'm not leaving you for Mark!" Oh dear. I thought he'd have seen through it by now. Hunt's usually much quicker on his feet than this. "I was just...I was calling him because..." Oh my. The 'Game' scowl. By George, I think he's got it. Luckily I'm much better at thinking under the gun...or the threat of a 260-pound man jumping on top of me. I squeal and roll out of the way just in the nick of time, but he catches hold of my foot before I can make it off the bed. Doesn't stop me from laughing though. *Hunter's POV* Shawn woke me up in the best possible way you could wake a guy, with the vibrations of his throat while it was wrapped around my cock. I knew that he would have been perfectly happy to end things in that same position, but there was something else that I'd been dying for, waiting to have again for so long...the snug silky feeling of his body wrapped around my needy length. It wasn't too awful hard to convince him of the pros there. Didn't take long at all, but then I didn't expect much with how long it's been since I've actually had sex, not counting the meeting of bodies that we had a few hours ago. It's been a damn long time. The fact that it was Shawn in the bed with me, well that just guaranteed that it wasn't going to last all that long. Maybe once I'm feeling more secure, once it's settled in that Shawn is really and truly mine again, to keep, then I'll stop feeling so desperate to have him. Wouldn't count on that either though...it is Shawn, after all. But it might allow me to include some of the other necessary ingredients for a good relationship...like romance and...foreplay. After Shawn's use and abuse of my delicate person, and no I'm not complaining, he decided that eating was in order. I suppose I should feed him once in awhile. So I called room service and then set about trying to find some clothes so that I could answer the door. I'm not like Kev, who has scared the living daylights out of some bellboys by allowing them an unrestricted view of 'the hog'. Hell, he's scared me and I know the thing hasn't ever been pointed in my direction. Way off track there. Anyway, I'm trying to find some clothes, with Shawn staring at my ass...I do notice these things...when I come across my cell phone. Cell phone...oops. I've really got to get this phone call out of the way before I drive myself nuts. I mean, what is the worst thing that can happen? Mark can't kill me over the phone and since it's good news, he won't want to kill me anyway...right? "...Leaving me alone in bed so you can call someone else. And here I thought you loved me, Hunt." Wha...? I turn around, panicking when I see the pout on those beloved lips. He can't honestly think that I don't love him. I told him! "But..." 'I'm making this call for him,' my inner child whines. "I..." My mouth won't work. Apparently it took my brain on vacation with it. I still can't believe that he thinks... I have to explain. I have to. "I was just going to call...call Mark." "Mark? You're leaving me for Mark?" Oh now that's just crazy. I've never...okay I guess I can't say that I've never looked at Mark that way, but that was years ago and it was strictly curiosity. I swear! "Here I was, worried that you wanted your ex back, when all the time it was my ex that you wanted?" What the fu...? He never even hinted that he thought I wanted Chris back. I told him that he's the one that I love, so why would he ever think I would leave him for Chris? This has got to be a nightmare. I fell asleep and soon I'll wake back up. Some psycho spiked the lube and it's causing me to hallucinate. How did we get on this topic again and where did I take a wrong turn? "Randy's bound to be disappointed." Randy? Randy? Who the hell gives a shit about Randy? I'm not leaving Shawn for Mark or anyone else for that matter. I just have to convince him of it. "I'm not leaving you for Mark!" And he's not even looking torn up over this! That's the thing that kills me. It's like he's accepting it without even trying to convince me not to go and... I can't lose him now. Not after everything we've been through. "I was just...I was calling him because..." Oh. My. God. I am such an idiot. If I hadn't panicked right away, I'd have noticed the shit-eating grin that he's somehow barely managing to suppress. He lulled me with that whole pathetic pouting thing and I didn't even see it coming. And even if I could be forgiven for missing that in my frantic state, the fact that he was showing that much concern for Randy of all people should have clued me in. He is in so much trouble. Mine. I lunge without a second thought, but the little shit always was faster than I was. I manage to grab an ankle before he slithers off the bed though and pull him underneath me. Caught. Mine. And he knows I'm not letting go. "I love you..." He smiles up at me and it makes my breath catch in my throat, just like it always does. I love his smile...but he's not getting out of this that easily. "...but you are in so much trouble. You need to be punished, you little baggage." Oh my, doesn't he look hopeful? That wicked grin of his almost makes me want to give in and give him what his eyes are asking for...almost. "I know exactly what your punishment should be too. A happily-ever-after life sentence...with me." He looks so pleased with himself now that I want to laugh. "But before we get started on that...I'm putting you on probation." Trout...big, big trout. I love that look on him. I roll to my feet and grab my pants out of my suitcase...room service will be here soon after all. "Hunter!" I ignore him for the moment, smiling as I slip into my pants. "Hunter? You can't be serious." Knock on the door. Hopefully Shawn will stay out of the line of sight of the door. Not that he would care...not a shy bone in that beautiful body. "Hunter?" A pillow hits me in the back of the head and I turn to glare at my love. "This probation doesn't include any kind of ban, does it? Say like on...extracurricular activities?" I smile and walk towards the door. "We'll discuss the terms of your probation after we eat. I have a feeling you'll need your energy to fulfill the terms of this particular probation." He settles back on the bed as I open the door and retrieve our meal. He may be pouting at the moment, but I can guarantee that he'll be smiling again soon. It will be a rather short term of probation for him. I might even let him enjoy the fruits of his punishment... Right after he makes the call to Mark. The End ©2005 Raising Kane

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