"Max, have you seen my aspirin?" 99 asked rooting around in the medicine cabinet.
"Yeah, the chief used 'em for his headache last time he was here. I put them in the end table drawer. You got a headache, 99?" Max asked joining her in the bathroom.
"Is that strange?" 99 looked at him faking a hurt look, for no apparent reason. Then gave him a little smirk, "I am human you know."
Max smiled, "You know I realized that too. After one or so years of marriage, I realized you were human after all."
"What did you think I was for six years?" She laughed.
"Well…" he paused jokingly and affectionately pulled her closer to him and held her midriff, "I thought you were a goddess."
"Mmm Hmm." She smirked and smiled giving his back a rub, which sent shivers up his spine he giggled, he tried to suppress it, but couldn't. She smiled coquettishly. "Sure you did."
"Max?" she said in distress, "I feel something."
"So do I 99." He smiled slyly.
"No, Max, I uh… I… I feel faint." She said taking her hand from his back and holding it to her head, right before falling to the floor.
Max looked down at his wife, lying nearly motionless on the peach colored rug on top of the tiles in the bathroom. He knelt down next to her looked at her face, he took her chin and tilted it toward him. Then said finally, "You know, 99. I bet the reason why you passed out had something about this needle in your forehead!"
A couple hours later 99 sat on a stool next to Carlson while he examined something under a microscope. He looked up finally and said, "Other than being married to that idiot, Smart, there's nothing wrong with you." He looked her over again commented, "Absolutely nothing!"
"I really don't appreciate either of those remarks especially the one about my husband." She said telling him off.
"Yes, for that you oughta have your head checked." He snapped back. Him and 99 glared at eachother when Max walked into the room.
"Whoa, break it up you two." Max stepped between them, "Fighting about my incompetence again?" Max used to take it personally that Carlson hated him, thought he was the stupidest thing ever to breathe and if he could he'd stop the breathing, but the law was the only thing standing in Carlson's way. The only thing that Carlson did that infuriated Max was the fact he constantly flirted with 99.
"As always." Carlson shot back. "I was on the pro-incompetence side."
"As if there was any doubt." Max told him taking 99's arm. "Are you ready to go sweetheart?"
"Just a minute, I have to get my shirt." She told him turning slightly.
"Wait a second…" He looked at her, "Am I losing my mind? (in the background Carlson muttered 'yes' but 99 glared at him) But aren't you wearing a shirt?"
"Oh yes Max. But this is the one from my locker, it was more comfortable and easier for Carlson to check my heart and stuff." She glared at him again. He looked back at her with confusion and frustration.
They got 99's shirt and were driving in 99's new Ford Focus. She was looking at the road ahead, Max was watching her, then spoke, "Are you sure you ought to be driving."
"Well, Carlson said I was fine, he couldn't find anything in my blood or off that needle in my forehead. Besides after the fainting, I was absolutely fine as Carlson put it."
"You know, 99" Max started, he gave her a look of exasperation, but it was lost on her because she was watching the road intently "I don't like the way Carlson talks to you."
"Oh, Max." she smiled sympathetically, "You know I don't take anything he says seriously, when he's flirting, since he's the CONTROL doctor if he says I haven't contracted some rare disease then I believe him. But you know what I mean right?"
"Yes," He smiled and leaned over to kiss her, she leaned over too. But with a loud sharp honk from the other lane 99 swerved back into the correct lane. "I'll take a rain check on that."
"Yeah."
Once they got home, 99 walked up the stairs. Max dashed after her and followed her into the bedroom. "Whatcha doin'?"
"Following you."
"I know… why?" 99 asked turning around and looking straight into his face.
"I want that rain check kiss!" Max told her wrapping his arms around her midriff. She smiled; they moved their faces closer to eachother and engaged in kissing.
Both 99 and Max felt dizzy, 99 broke the kiss and put a hand to her head. Her and Max fell to the floor, Max reached for her hand, and squeezed it. "99! What's happening?"
99, with her last shred of energy, turned her head, and whispered, "I don't know."
Several hours later, 99 woke up feeling extremely shaken (fact of story, did not look at Max). She wandered around 'til she found the bathroom, the lights were off and her mind wasn't exactly on finding the bathroom.
She wiped her forehead, it seemed strange, and she didn't feel her bangs. She looked up and into the mirror; "AH!"
"What is it, 99…" Max asked walking into, "Sorry, Max. Max?" he stared at her (uh… himself). "99? What happened to us?"
"I don't know." She looked at Max, "Here let me fix your hair, er uh my hair."
"Gee, 99! Do you have to worry about your hair now? We are eachother! In the great scheme of things your hair really isn't important." Max yelled.
99 had already began to reach over and brush (her) his bangs. She took no notice when he glared at her. "Well, I have an idea, maybe Carlson can help. But before that I really need to eat something! Fainting takes a lot out of a person."
"Ok, but then we're going to Carlson. The first time in my life I'll happy to see…" He paused to sneer, "Carlson."
99 was in the kitchen, making herself a salad. "OW!" Max cried from out in the living room.
"What happened Doll?" She came out to see Max rubbing just below his neck.
"I hit my chest, uh your chest. But that hurts! How do you stand 'em?" Max whined.
"You get used to them, to tell you the truth it's weird not having 'em." She smiled jokingly.
"I love you sweetie, but I can't stand being you. Do you promise right after lunch that we'll head to CONTROL lab?"
"Promise." She went into the kitchen again to retrieve her salad. When she came out Max was just about to bite into a huge, cheeseburger, she gasped. "Max, you can't eat that!"
"Why not?"
"You've got to watch my figure." 99 complained. "Look at me!"
"Well…" he said thinking about it for a moment, "Then you can't eat that salad."
"Max, Don't be unreasonable." 99 objected.
"I'm not, I can't eat the cheeseburger. You can't eat the salad."
"Max, that doesn't make any sense, you're acting like a child. I had good reason, you're just mad cause you can't eat your burger." She yelled. "And stop slouching."
"Let's just go to the lab, now!" He stood up.
"Fine with me." She narrowed her eyes. "Get my coat."
"Get it yourself." He shot, still a little testy, from being his wife and all.
"I meant for you…" 99 was much calmer, although there was no doubt that 99 would regain her senses, and be not quiet as testy, "You don't expect to wear your coat?"
"Oh, yeah." He said. She sighed and gave him a brief smile.
@*****@
Once at CONTROL they took the back secret entrance to CONTROL lab. Carlson saw Max come down the stairs (As 99).
"How very wonderful to see you." He ran a finger up his arm, "Decided to leave that idiot of yours?"
"Why Carlson," Max started his own voice leaving the delicate lips of his wife, "I never knew you cared."
He jumped back and stared at him with horrified awe. "Smart?" He said, looked him over, "99?"
99 came down the stairs skipping with grace just as she always does. "I'm over here, Carlson."
"But… what… huh?" He stuttered.
"This," 99 started joining her husband. "Is the results of that dumb drug, you said was harmless."
"I have half a mind to report you to the chief." Max said putting a hand on his hip and smirking.
"Don't be ridiculous," Carlson said smugly, "You haven't even half a mind at all."
"You two, please! Carlson, stop flirting and just find a way to reverse the drug." 99 demanded.
"I'll do it." Carlson told her through gritted teeth, "But only 'cause I can't stand his voice coming out of your body."
Carlson walked over to his filing cabinet, and fiddled around until he
found both files of the Smarts. "Hmm, I think I figured out the reason why, this happened. It says here that," He choked on the next pair of words, "Mrs. Smart's blood type is A negative. And Max's blood type is O positive."
"So?" Max said.
"When certain things are mixed with the combination of your two
blood types, the results could be horrid." Looks down at the paper then back
up at the Smarts. "And I can't see what's more horrible than this."
"Well that's because you have a simple mind." Max started in a
matter-of-factly tone of voice. "You couldn't comprehend a beetle without
one of you do-nothing-anyway books."
"I'll ignore that. But I need blood samples." He smiled, he knew like every other CONTROL agent that ever worked with Max he's extremely afraid of needles.
"Ladies first." Max said uneasily.
"I was hoping you'd say that." Obviously Max had forgotten that at this precise moment in time, he was the lady. "Thanks for wearin' a sleeveless 99." He said as he shoved the needle into Max's arm. 99 watched with a tiny smile as her husband fainted.
"I hope you'll be more of a man about this, figuratively speaking of course. Raise you sleeve please, I've got to get another needle. Won't be a moment." 99 took off the jacket and rolled up the shirt sleeve.
"Here we go." He said driving the needle into his second victim's arm. 99 didn't even bat an eyelash. "You never fail to live up to my expectations of you."
"I'm so glad, cause living up to your standards is what I live for." 99 remarked sarcastically.
"When your disgustingly squeamish husband wakes up tell him I'll be in the back testing it in different solutions. Join me when he wakes up." He told her before he walked away.
99 eventually got tired of waiting and fell asleep in her own chair. When she fell asleep she held his hand.
Max woke up abruptly when Carlson slapped his face to wake him. "huh?" he sighed groggily. He looked down and saw himself, and looked over to his left and saw 99 still slumbering peacefully. "I'm me again."
"That's right Smart." Carlson said in a proud voice, "You're you and she is she as well."
"But what? How?" He stuttered.
"After I had blood samples and using the needle from her forehead I was able to make an immunity and since you two both had open cuts I touch them both together and feed you both the drug. It passes through your system and through the cut… Why am I wasting my time explaining all this to you?"
"I'm leaving thank-you." He picked up his coat from the floor, and put it on. He lifted 99 by one arm and led her very carefully to the car.