She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee

Her dress has got a tear

She waltzes on her way to mass

And whistles on the stair

And underneath her wimple she has curlers in her hair

I even heard her singing in the abbey

She's always late for chapel but her penitence is real

She's always late for everything except for every meal

I hate to have to say it but I very firmly feel

Maria's not an asset to the abbey

I like to say a word in her behalf

Maria makes me laugh

chorus

How do you solve a problem like Maria

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down

How do you find a word that means Maria

A flibbertijibbet, a will  o the wisp, a clown

Many of things you know you'd like to tell her

Many of things she ought to understand

But how do you make her stay

And listen to all you say

How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh how do you solve a problem like Maria

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand

When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused

And I never know exactly where I am

Unpredictable as wheather

She's as flighty as a feather

She's a darling, she's a demon, she's a lamb

She'd outpester any pest

Drive a hornet from its nest

She can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl

She is gentle, she is wild

She's a riddle, she's a child

She's a headache, she's an angel

She's a girl

repeat

chorus