Stay at home mom
..dont try this at home men..
My husband came home today and saw me sitting on
the couch, toddler on one knee, and baby nursing on the
opposite breast. I was trying to turn the pages
of "The stove buzzer", which would indicate that
tonight's pork chops were tonight's entree."
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My husband looked at me innocently, and asked "So,
did you do anything today?"
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It's a good thing that most of my appendages were otherwise
engaged, so I was unable to jump up and throttle him to death.
This was probably for the best, as I assume that asking a stupid
Question is not grounds for murder in this country
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Let me back up a bit, and explain what led me to this point in my life.
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I was not always bordering on the brink of insanity. On the contrary,
a mere four years ago, I had a good job, steady income, and a vehicle
that could NOT seat a professional sports team, and me, comfortably.
I watched television shows that were not hosted by singing puppets.
I went to bed later than nine o'clock at night.
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I laughed at those people who drove halfway across the country
hauling a tent trailer, three screaming kids, a drooling dog,
and called it a holiday. What happened? The stick turned blue.
I have traded in my Victoria's Secrets lingerie for cotton briefs
And a firm support nursing bra. Good-bye, Garth Brooks. Hello,
Sharon, Lois and Bram. My idea of privacy is getting to use the
Bathroom without a two-year old banging on the door. And I
finally understand that the term "Stay-At-Home Mom" does NOT
refer to a parent who no longer works outside the house,
but rather to one who never seems to get out the front door.
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So here I sit, children in hand, wondering how to answer my
Beloved husband, "DID I DO ANYTHING TODAY?"
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Well, I think I did, although not much seems to have gotten
accomplished.
I shared breakfast in bed with a handsome young man. Of course,
the breakfast consisted of a bowl of porridge and leftover cookie crumbs
found between the sheets. The handsome young man is about thirty-four
inches tall and only gets excited at the sight of purple dinosaurs, toy trucks
and French Fries. I got to take a relaxing stroll in the woods.
Of course I had to look for frogs and lizards, and had to stop and smell the
dandelions along the way.
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I successfully washed one load of laundry, moved the
load that was in the washer into the dryer, and the dryer load
into the basket. The load that was in the basket is now spread
out on the bed, awaiting my bedtime decision to actually put
the clothes away or merely move them to the top of the dresser.
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I read two or three classics. Of course, Dickens and Shakespeare
Cannot take credit for these works, as we have moved on to the works
Of Seuss and Munsch. I don't think I will be making any trips to the
Adult Section of my local library anytime soon.
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In between, I dusted, wiped, organized and rearranged. I kissed away
the owies and washed away the tears. I scolded, praised, hugged, and
tested my patience, all before noon.
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I will now understand what people mean when they say
that parenthood is the hardest job they will ever have. In my LBD
[(life before diapers)] I was able to teach young minds how to divide
fractions and write complex sentences, but I am unable to teach a
strong willed two-year-old how to use the toilet. (And, in my case
an eight-year old.) I was once able to navigate urban streets while
talking on the car phone and looking for a decent radio station, but
now I can't get the wheels on my stroller to all go in the same direction.
I've graduated from a university, written newspaper articles, and won
awards, but can't figure out how to get carrot stains out of the carpet.
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I used to debate with my friends about politics, but now we discuss
the merits of cloth versus disposables. And when did I stop talking in
sentences that had more than five words?
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So, in response to my husband's inquiry, YES, I did do something
today. In fact, I am one step closer to one of life's greatest
accomplishments. No, I did not cure AIDS or forge World Peace,
but I did hold a miracle in my arms. Two, in fact. My children are
my greatest accomplishments, and the opportunity to raise them is
my greatest challenge. I don't know if my children will grow up to
be great leaders or world-class brain surgeons. Frankly, I don't care,
as long as they grow up to be good people. They are my greatest joys,
even though I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night in frustration.
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The point is, that today I got to watch my children take another step
on the great journey of Life, and I even got to point out some of the
sites along the way. As challenging as parenthood is, it is also equally
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rewarding, because we are using all our wisdom, our talent and skills
to help forge a new person. It is this person, these people, who,
in turn will use their gifts to create.
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So every nursery rhyme I recite, every swing I push,
every little hand I hold is SOMETHING!
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what did you do .... ?
make a buck..
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