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A  day in the Court  ?!?


............ this in no scholar ................
CLERK:        Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God..."
WITNESS:      I swear by Almighty God.
CLERK:        That the evidence that I give...
WITNESS:      That's right.
CLERK:        Repeat it.
WITNESS:      Repeat it.
CLERK:        No!  Repeat what I said.
WITNESS:      What you said when?
CLERK:        That the evidence that I give...
WITNESS:      That the evidence that I give.
CLERK:        Shall be the truth and...
WITNESS:      It will, and nothing but the truth!
CLERK:        Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS:      I'm not a scholar, you know.
CLERK:        We can appreciate that.  Just repeat after me:
                 "Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS:      Shall be the truth and.
CLERK:        Say: "Nothing...".
WITNESS:      Okay.  (Witness remains silent.)
CLERK:        No!  Don't say nothing.  Say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS:      Yes.
CLERK:        Can't you say: "Nothing but the truth...?"
WITNESS:      Yes.
CLERK:        Well?  Do so.
WITNESS:      You're confusing me.
CLERK:        Just say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS:      Is that all?
CLERK:        Yes.
WITNESS:      Okay.  I understand.
CLERK:        Then say it.
WITNESS:      What?
CLERK:        "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS:      But I do!  That's just it.
CLERK:        You must say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS:      I WILL say nothing but the truth!
CLERK:        Please, just repeat these four words:
                 "Nothing," "But," "The" "Truth."
WITNESS:      O.K.
CLERK:        AAAAAAAhhh
WITNESS:      "What'd I do now."
CLERK:        Please repeat after me.
WITNESS:      AAAAAAAAhhh...
CLERK:        Now your confusing me.
WITNESS:      "you asked me to tell the Truth."
CLERK:        Yes!  Now.  Please.  Just say those four words.
WITNESS:      "which ones."
CLERK:        That you'll tell the truth.
WITNESS:      I always do...
CLERK:        GREAT!.
WITNESS:      I'm trying to now...
CLERK:        [Silence.]
WITNESS:      Well now what ...?
CLERK:        Please, just say these four words:
WITNESS:      These four words
CLERK:        oh PLEASE God.
WITNESS:      oh PLEASE God.
CLERK:        STOP IT.
WITNESS:   STOP IT.
CLERK:       "Nothing," "But," "The" "Truth."
WITNESS:       "Nothing," "But," "The" "Truth."
CLERK:       THERE IS A GOD [ looking up ]
silence 
WITNESS:       Im no Scholar ya know ...

whew

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