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DIARY OF A CAT >^..^< meow |
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DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. |
next entry of diary
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded.
(Must try this at the top of the
stairs.)
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair.
(Must try this on their bed.) .. lick smack |
next entry of diary
DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
deprivation, with incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.
heh heh heh |
next entry of diary
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was.
Hmmm. Not working according to plan... |
next entry of diary
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I
was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning
foamy chemical called ............"shampoo."What sick minds could invent such a
liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. |
next entry of diary
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. More importantly I overheard that
my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies."
Must learn what this is
and how to use it to my advantage. |
next entry of diary
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DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The Dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to
be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to
mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the hanging metal room, his
safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. |
click here for the end of the diary
click here for some good reasons why to keep that cat
will wait til one day ... one day .. heh heh heh ...
remember the "Sphynx"
[forwarded by Mark Engelhardt]
... some good reasons to keep that cat ....
WHY CATS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
1. A cat matures as it grows older.
2. Back hair on cats is cute.
3. It is legal in all states to neuter a cat.
4. Cats comfort you when you are sick.
5. When a cat sleeps all day it's natural, not annoying.
6. Unlike a man, a cat can fend for itself.
7. A cat is loyal. [yeah right]
8. Cats actually think with their heads.
9. "Meow" is never a lie. [careful tho ..... we really don't
know what they are saying]
10. They'll both stand outside your door and whine, but the
cat will stop when it gets in.
11. It's more amusing to watch a cat try and deal with a piece
of tape stuck on its paw than to watch a man do anything.
12. To buy a fancy dinner for a cat only costs $1.35 cents.
[but the breath is always bad afterwards]
13. A cat's friend is less likely to be annoying.
14. Cats can't show love without meaning it.
15. Cats are always cute. [except in the potty box]
16. The only thing a cat expects you to "put out" is food, water,
and a clean litter box. [like the other is bad tho]
[[all this is written by a uh mmmm well a er .. Woman - man hater ..]]
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