THOTS FOR ANY DAY

The domino effect at work.
~ A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out 
acting like teenagers.
~ A chat has nine lives.
~ A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
~ AAAAAA (American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous)
~ Adult child of alien invaders.
~ And which dwarf are you?
~ Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people 
remembering the same thing.
~ Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
~ Anything not nailed down is mine. Anything I can pry loose is not nailed 
down.
~ As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
~ Back off! You're standing in my aura.
~ Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do 
criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes.
~ Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
~ Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
~ Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
~ DIAPER spelled backward is REPAID. Think about it...
~ Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.
~ Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
~ Does your train of thought have a caboose?
~ Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
~ Don't byte off more than you can view.
~ Don't take life so seriously...it's not permanent.
~ Don't worry about the world ending today...It's already tomorrow in 
Australia.
~ Eternity. Smoking or non?
~ Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
~ Fax is stranger than fiction.
~ Gene police. YOU! Out of the pool!
~ Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net 
and he won't bother you for weeks.
~ "Good enough" is NEVER good enough.
~ Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.
~ Have you ever seen anyone actually laughing all the way to the bank? 
~ Home is where you hang your @.
~ How do I set a laser printer to stun?
~ How to cope with stress: Fill out your tax form using Roman numerals.
~ I can't dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.
~ I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
~ I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
~ I have my doubts about disbelief.
~ I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
~ I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
~ I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me
~ If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the 
other trees make fun of it?
~ If it weren't for halitosis, I'd have no breath at all.
~ If life is like a stage, I want better lighting.
~ If mother always knows best, what happens when two mothers disagree?
~ If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
~ If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
~ If you're too old to learn, you were born so.
~ I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
~ I'm not in denial. I'm just very selective about the reality I accept.
~ I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
~ I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
~ In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
~ Inflation is when the buck doesn't stop anywhere.
~ "Invent a wise saying and live forever!" (Anonymous)
~ IRS: Be audit you can be!
~ It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning 
to others. [Tammy Caldwell]   pathetic eh! 
~ JESUS CHRIST: The same yesterday, today, and Y2K.
~ Just say "on" to dyslexia!
~ Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought 
to myself, "Where's the ceiling?"
~ Life is a Lambourghini: It goes too fast, and it costs too much.
~ Live as you wish your kids would.
~ Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip 
around the Sun.
~ Macho law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong.
~ Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen.
~ Modulation in all things.
~ Necessity is the mother of circumvention.
~ "No comment" is a comment.
~ No decision is a decision.
~ No sense being pessimistic; it probably won't work anyway.
~ Normal people worry me.
~ One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
~ One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
~ Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
~ Punctual people have nothing better to do.
~ Remember, stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
~ Resurrection: God's recycling plan.
~ She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
~ Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. [Tammy Caldwell]   dilbert dude! 
~ Some people develop eye strain looking for trouble.
~ Sooner or later, EVERYONE stops smoking.
~ "Star Trek" on Novocain: To poldly bow air mobius gumby four!
~ Stop global whining.
~ Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen 
asleep yet.
~ Suburbia:  Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.
~ Sweater: a garment worn by a child when a mother feels chilly.
~ Taxes, n.: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get 
an extension.
~ The best vitamin for making friends is B-1.
~ The greatest of all faults is to imagine you have none.
~ The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for 
everything that goes wrong.
~ The modem is the message.
~ The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
~ The more things change, the more they stay insane.
~ The really nice thing about not planning is that failure comes
 as a complete surprise and is not preceded by a period
 of worry and depression.   this is soooooooooo thomas! his motto in life!!!
 ~ Therapy is expensive. Popping that bubble wrap stuff is cheap. You choose.
~ There are more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the
~ There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
~ There is more to life than increasing its speed.
~ There's no place like home.com.
~ Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.
~ Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
~ Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
~ What boots up must come down.
~ What would you rather have, no short-term memory or . . . Uh, I forget 
the question.
~ When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's father. 
He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "The middle of August? 
Cool."
~ When the going gets tough, the tough have a little cry over in the corner.
~ When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if 
they ever press charges.
~ When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide 
to play chess.
~ Where there's smoke, there's dinner.
~ Where there's smoke, there's mirrors.
~ Which came first: the chicken or the various things that taste like chicken?
~ Whisper my favorite words, "I'll buy it for you."
~ Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
~ Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. 
Dance like nobody's watching.
~ You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
~ You can't teach an old mouse new clicks.
~ You only go around once. You only go around once. You only go around once.
~ You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication.
~ You! Off my planet!

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