|
|
|
|
A white limo pulls up to The Arena in Oakland, California but the limousine driver says....
~The Highest Paid Limo Driver in the World Because he Drives...~ Limo Driver Jackson: Excuse me, you don't want to do that Mr. Coachman. No, trust me you do not want to do that! These men do not want to be disturbed right now so, they will see you later ok? Thank you!
Just then The Coach turns around from the limo and runs into John Cena and the crowd erupts with cheers.
~The Docta of Thuganomics~ John ~Word Life~ Cena: Whoa, whoa, whoa Coach where you think you goin'? Heh, You know, there are rumors that my team is in town... Oh come on Coach! Turn that frown upside down! The Dream Team is what I mean so get with it Coach!
The crowd once again explodes with cheers after news of the Dream Team!
~The Docta of Thuganomics~ John ~Word Life~ Cena: Man we got some KICK ass superstars, but sorry Coach, you can't give no deep throat. And all you are Coach is a wrestler who never made it... I might be white, but you a black man who's skin is fadin! I got more skills than anyone in eHw! Everybody knows, ever since I beat Mike Awesome, Yall Throwin up the W's! Now if ya'll forgot this is what went down last time yall saw me in the eHw!
Cena gets out on the ring apron behind Awesome, picks Awesome up to his feet from behind, and gives him a Spin Out Powerbomb off the ring apron through the table at ringside!! The crowd pops huge for Cena after hitting the move as medics put Awesome on the stretcher and again begin wheeling him towards the back. The medics get all the way up the entryway aisle and are about to go through the curtain when Awesome stops them and pushes them away again. Awesome very slowly gets off the stretcher and when Cena sees this, he drops down to the arena floor, and begins jogging up the entryway aisle. Awesome gets down on his knees on the steel floor of the entryway floor and as Cena runs up to him Awesome lunges forward and low blows Cena. Awesome then spins Cena around and gives him a Release German Suplex on the stretcher! Cena hits on the edge of the stretcher which gives way and the back of Cena’s head smacks hard on the metal entryway floor. Awesome crawls back down towards ringside as Cena shows a few signs of movement and consciousness. Awesome gets down to ringside and crawls under the ring halfway, and when he comes back out he pulls a barbed wire wrapped table with him. The crowd starts mildly cheering as Awesome opens up the barbed wire table and sets it up three feet from the ring. While this is going on Cena gets up on his knees and begins to slowly crawl down towards the ring while holding the back of his head. Awesome goes back under the ring and pulls out a large black pouch. Awesome opens up the large pouch and empties it’s contents on the table which are revealed to be light bulbs! Awesome covers the barbed wire table with light bulbs then walks over to Cena as he gets close to the ring. Awesome picks Cena up and runs him into the ring. Awesome then gets into the ring himself and points back at the table as the fans begin to boo Awesome louder than they had before. Awesome picks Cena up in the ring and puts his head between his legs. Awesome picks Cena up and runs towards the side of the ring where the table is set up but as he gets over there Cena slides down Awesome’s back and lands behind him. Awesome turns around and Cena kicks Awesome in the stomach and gives him a DDT! After a few seconds Cena gets up to his feet and throws up the W as the fans begin cheering. Cena rolls Awesome out onto the ring apron, then gets out on it himself. Cena slowly picks Awesome up and picks him up in a fireman’s carry. Cena points the to table, makes half a W with his right hand, then jumps up off the ring apron, and gives Awesome the F U through the barbed wire wrapped and light bulb covered table!!!! The crowd erupts in a chant of “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!!” as medics come down, put Awesome on a stretcher, and wheel him all the way to the back and to an ambulance where he is taken to the local hospital. Cena wins!
The camera turns back to Cena who has a huge smile on his face.
~The Docta of Thuganomics~ John ~Word Life~ Cena: Now Coach, do I really suck? Tell me, DO I REALLY SUCK! NO! I beat Mike Awesome's fake ass to a fu$#ing pulp, just like my dick gets beat by your god damn hoe! And Coach.... if you get in my way..... I'll do the same to you! Now Coach.... Get some new glasses.... Because... YOU CAN'T SEE ME!
John Cena walks away with a smirk on his face as The Coach watches Cena walk away with an un-happy look.
The Chris Benoit "Hard Knocks" Commercial Comes on just before.....
John Cena: Yo it's the Dream Team here in eHw, ya'll think you can beat us, we just gonna smother you. With rights and lefts, and no grand thefts, but the auto's keep comin and we aint even get paid yet. Unlike George Bush, we've paid out of debt, and all this big pain? You ain't seen none yet, and at Redemption it's gonna be true, I go from YJ Stinger to the eHw Tube. Tube meanin' television, ya'll will get expelled if you don't listen to what John Cena has to say, so everybody listen up before ya'll Dream's get thrown away!
~eHw's Steve Erkel~ Joel Gershner: Well folks, it seems like The Rabid Lifers AKA The Dream Team is here! We have had John Cena for a while and after that match with Kevin Nash, Chris Benoit was gone for a while as well as Shelton Benjamin was after his beating FROM Chris Benoit. Now, how will these three do together? Hopefully, very well, with new talent coming into eHw, and old leaving, we hope that these three men will bring pain, and awe to the fans of the eHw! We will see John Cena for the first time since the eHw Stretcher Match which he defeated and dominated Mike Awesome in, when he is in action against, none other than Sting! Now, Sting was one of the most dominating wrestlers in WCW history when he was there, and the same for all other feds he was in, but can he beat the Doctor of Thuganomics?
Just then Basic Thuganomics hits and John Cena makes his way to the ring to a wave of cheers from every member of the Sold Out Crowd!
~The Docta of Thuganomics~ John ~Word Life~ Cena: Yo, yo, yo, yo, Yo, YO, YO! WHAT UP SAN DIEEEEEEGO! Yo chill, chill, chill, yo, man, tonight I'm here with somethin on my mind, I got a hatchet that was buried and that I gotta find! We in Chicago for Redemption, I don't gotta redeem myself, all I be doin is givin Sting a chance for some attention! Man, Sting aint no wrestler, he just hide his face, because if he took off the paint, people would start hurling all over the place! And look at his punk ass thinkin' he the bomb, only thing he's seen bomb up is, me in his mom's thong! Sting think he a legend? He aint Jack! I'll beat his ass faster than a dudes head on crack! And John Cena is keepin his Un-Beaten Streak! Only thing stoppin me is a worn out wrestler facin me at my peak! And now I want you to meet the rest of my crew, from John Cena, I bring to You..... The Rabid Lifers!
Just then "Whatever" by Our Lady Peace hits and Chris Benoit makes his way to the ring with Arn Anderson just before "Aint No Stoppin Me Now!" Hit's and Shelton Benjamin makes his way down to the ring with Torrie Wilson!
~The Docta of Thuganomics~ John ~Word Life~ Cena: YEAH! Shelton Benjamin, Chris Benoit, Arn Anderson and the always beautiful, my girl, Torrie Wilson! Yeah, now, TRL is here to deliver... Pain, Drama, and to do what all the other Thuganomers can do, KICK SOME MAJOR ASS!
~The Hottest Thing in the eHw~ Shelton ~F'n~ Benjamin: YO! Hey, John, Chris, Arn, Torrie it's great to be here in eHw especially the fact I'm with The Rabid Lifers! And in WWE, I was part of the World's Greatest Tag Team, along with my good friend, Charlie Haas, BUT! Here in eHw, I am the World's Biggest Shocker! I mean, John Cena is by far the best young wrestler in the eHw! Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit are Living Legends, and Torrie Wilson is WHOA! You Know.... TORRIE FRICKEN WILSON!
The crowd explodes with cheers as Torrie grabs a mic.
~The First eHw Playboy Covergirl~ Torrie ~Hot as Hell~ Wilson: Thank you Shelton, but babe, John's my man, sorry guys to break your hearts but we do have someone else for you to watch! AND! She's single, my girl, the cat of eHw..... SABLE!
A growl is heard before Sable makes her way down to the ring.
~The First eHw Playboy Covergirl~ Torrie ~Hot as Hell~ Wilson: Now, eHw, you have never seen two chicks as hot as this now have you? Well, by the sounds of your cheers, NO! I mean we are the hottest pieces of ass, as Johnny here would say, in eHw! And Sting... You could NEVER get us!
~The Hottest Thing in the eHw~ Shelton ~F'n~ Benjamin: See that John I told you we got ya back man! Because.... THERE AINT NO STOPPIN' ME NOW!
"There Ain't No Stoppin' Me Now" Hit's and Shelton Benjamin, John Cena, Torrie Wilson, and Sable all make there way out of the ring but Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit have something to say...
~The Rabid Wolverine~ Chris ~The Crippler~ Benoit: Now that that's over, Arn and I have something to tell you. Being the living legends in eHw, we wanted Sting to know, that he is to... But he's long out of his time! Arn is to, that's why he's a manager. BUT! The Rabid Lifers are here to prove that I! Still have what it takes to become World Champion once again! And after John wins the Deathmatch Title, I will get a World Title Shot and make whoever the champion is TAP OUT! Whether it's the Sandman, one of my close friends, Scott Steiner, another close friend, or even Al Snow.... I will make them tap! Last time you saw me I lost to Kevin Nash in a great battle, yes I know that, but I'm changed. Arn has been training me these months I've been off while John Cena got a taste of eHw, and not only a taste, but in the Two matches he's had, he's had the best start in eHw history! First he beat Road Dogg and Billy Gunn in a Dumpster Match! A match THEY made famous! THAN he beat Mike Awesome in an eHw Stretcher Match after he screwed Awesome out of the World Title! And Chris Benoit and Edge dominated Evolution in a Bed of Weapons Match at the biggest event of them all, CYBERSLAM! And now this year, around one year from now, you will see me, Chris Benoit, headlining Cyberslam for the World Title! And honestly, there's nothing ANYONE can do about it!
"Whatever" by Our Lady Peace hits and Chris Benoit and Arn Anderson exit the ring raising there arms.
