MwF - Dynamite Results 04/10/04

EARLIER TODAY [The camera distorted and blurred with a vision of pink and red...] [Now fade back...] [Back...] [Ok, It's the face of Alex Warn. He has an obvious black eye, but both are closed... He's not dead, but you can bet your ass that before the night is over, he'll wish he was... Now camera pan out..] [Out...] [Ok, we now see his dilemma... A big angry masked man has him tied, chest down, to the desk of newly-semi-retired Ed Walker... Tonight would not be a good night to be Alex Warn, not at all...] Gutter Rat: Ed Walker has flown, he has dropped out of sight... He left me his lackey, to do what I might... The father of whores floats away on last breath... Saving himself from otherwise... "Certain Death..." [Alex moans, beginning to come to, and the fans know, that with the explosive actions resulting from Implosion, the MWF is headed into uncharted waters... Well, let this be a lesson, there's a Shark in those waters... Things are about to reach a whole new level....] Alex Warn: Dammit, are you gonna let me off this desk? I didn't interfere in the match, all I did was wheel Mr. Walk... Gutter Rat: DO NOT REPEAT THAT NAME!!!! He's GONE!!!! At Implosion, that walking afterbirth Thunder bull retained his title, but I got what I was after all along!!!! You see, the title isn't as important as the knowledge that because of the injuries I inflicted upon him, HE has left the building... No curtain call, no encore, no big last "Hurrah"... Ed Walker is GONE!!! G-O-N-E, GONE!!!! Alex Warn: Yeah, well, be that as it may, I'm now out of a job as "Personal Assistant", Wayne won't return my calls, you've found and beaten me, I think I'm missing a tooth, I also believe you cracked one of my ribs, and now I'm strapped to a work desk... What now, Rat? Find my family and stalk them? Put me in a dress, and force me out into traffic? I really don't think there's anything more you can do to ruin my week... [Gutter Rat is smiling behind the mask... You can't really see it, but rest assured, it's there... He looks down at Alex, and next to his head, sets a Costco-sized jar of "Vas-o-Line"... The look on Alex's' face... Priceless... ] Gutter Rat: Relax there, junior... This isn't something out of a prison movie, though after I'm done, you'll probably have wished otherwise.... See, I can't fathom that you would have hooked up with that former excuse we had to call boss... I can't fathom that it was YOU that led the search for little "Thomas" all those weeks back... And I can't for the life of me, fathom what you were thinking, wheeling Ed Walker out in the middle of MY match last night... I let YOU distract me, that doesn't happen often... I got to thinking... What would posses a man to do that much obviously crazy stuff in such a short time with one company... And then I figured it out... DRUGS!!! [He picks up the jar, and walks to the back out of the cameras eye, camera focuses on the worried expression of Alex Warn...] Gutter Rat: It could have been just a simple Death Wish, but MOST would not like something quite so painful... So we're back to drugs, Warn... So, I thought to myself, "Self, How would he smuggle them in so no-one could see them?" My reply was simple... Now hold still... Alex Warn: HEY!!! Those are my Pants!!!! Gutter Rat: Yes Alex.... See, with Walker gone, I now hold a stake in where his company is headed... I WON'T have a "user" running around the company, interfering with my matches ANYMORE!!! Alex Warn: You Psychopath!! I'm not a "user" Now Get Me Off Of This GOD-(BEEP) TABLE!!!!!! [Alex looks angry, humiliated, and a little scared right about now... The "pop" of the lid in the background makes him flinch, and you can hear the sound of the lube being applied to something...] Gutter Rat: Now, now, temper temper... A classic text-book case of denial, and withdrawals, all into one... I promise, this body cavity search will only take a minute, or thirty, and it won't hurt... Much... [The camera fades away from the scene and to the closing of a door reading General Manager Wayne....] Muffled Screams from the office: AHHH!!! AAAAHHHH!!! IT HURTS!!! OH JESUS STOP!!!! [Fade]