03/03/02:
Today was my 30 week appointment. I was so excited because I had my birth plan all ready to give to the doctor. When he seen it, he made a comment about it being from the internet and how many of the options they give you are not possiable to have while in labor and during delivery.
He asked why type of birth I wanted. I told him a Bradley birth (which he didn't know what it was) with no medication. I thought it was very simple but I guess it wasn't.
He didn't understand why I wouldn't want pain medication. His comment was that when I go to the dentist, I get pain medication and why wouldn't I do the same for a labor. Instead of fighting with him about this, I let it drop. I knew that trying to get my point across wouldn't happen.
I haven't gained any weight and my belly only measured 30. We heard the heartbeat but didn't get a count. He wouldn't tell me what position the baby is in because the baby will still move around.
I also made a comment about me bleeding again. So he did a check and he didn't see no blood. So he came to the conclusion that it's nothing important and all is fine. I come back in 4 weeks.
I came home and cried. I so badly want to birth with my body in control and not with a doctor or nurse telling me what to do. Jim, who was once on my side for a natural labor and birth, is now siding with the doctor. I can't believe this is happening. Once again, I will have a birth that will upset me to reflect on.
03/15/02:
Well some things have changed, mostly my attitude on how the birth will go. Jim and I had a heart to heart talk. He doesn't want to see me in pain. So I explained my position to him and I think he now understands how I feel and will support me.
I tried changing dcotors. Hell, I even called doctors 45 minutes away hoping to find someone who has the same beliefs as me when it comes to birth. No luck. I remember my sister telling me about a midwife coming to town and he will work with my OB. When I called the office, I was told she doesn't have permission to do births at the hospital. She may get that permission before May and she may not. The receptionist told me at my next appointment talk with the doctor about why I want to switch to the midwife.
I have also go in the mind set that I will get the birth I want. So if I have to labor at home until the last minute, I will do it. If have to sign waivers and be a bitch I will do it. I will get the birth I want at any cost. As long as Eve and I are fine, then things will go my way.
03/20/02:
We are moving!! I am so excited to finally get out of this hell hole. We will be doing the moving on Easter weekend. Knowing that we finally get out of this place has really helped my mood.
It was pointed out to me that in one entry, I said how we were changing the babys name from Jenavieve to something else. Then the next entry I write how we will still be using Jenavieve. So I wanted to explain it.
Jim and I are the only ones who liked the name. Constant remarks from family got to me. So I thought changing the name would make everyone happy. When Jim and I sat down with a list of new names, we couldn't agree. So we went back to Jenavieve and now have the you don't like it, too bad attitude. People are getting used to the name now.
Titan has ate my Bradley meathod book. Stupid dog!! A lady from my June96 list is loaning me her book. So I can't wait to get it and start working on the exercises.
I am carrying Jenavieve so low. My belly looks like a huge beach ball. Plus tons of false labor lately. I'm not ready for her to be born now so I try to take it easy. But I only have seven more weeks before she is due. Not enough time to get ready!!!!
03/22/02:
Here is a picture from today. It's bad because I was just joking around. But you get an idea of what the belly looks like.
