OCTOBER

10/03/01:
Today was my appointment with the nurse. I had to pee in a cup, get weighed and get my blood pressure taken. Then we went back to a room. She asked me all kinds of family medical questions. When all was done, I was gave a goody bag with tons of magizines and a sample of prenatals.
My appointment with the doctor is the 30th. At that appointment, I get an ultrasound. I stressed that I wanted to wait until I am farther along. She told me that this is an informal ultrasound and I will get another one when I am about five or six months along.
I have also started dealing with morning sickness really bad. I am sick all day and night long. So I stopped taking the one prenatals and started on the sample ones. They seem to be working, yippy!!! I have also started throwing up at night. Oh it's so much fun. Nate freaks out and Jim doesn't pay any attention to it. I hope this passes soon!!
10/12/01:
This is starting to be an old story. My bleeding started again on Thursday. I was sitting on the toilet throwing up. when I stood up, the toilet water was red. So I called the ob doctor and they had me come right in.
He did a pelvic exam and said that my cervix was irritated. Something about the lip of it. So he did something down their and then did an ultrasound. We seen the heartbeat and everything looked fine.
Being stupid, Jim and I had sexual intercourse. I don't know what I was thinking. Well the bleeding is still going on. But the doctor never did say anything about sex. So I thought it would be fine. I was wrong.
Now it is light spotting. But when I throw up, it becomes like a normal period for me. So I called the hospital and they told me I need to take it easy this weekend until I can talk with the doctor on Monday.
I just went to the bathroom and the bleeding has slowed way down. Since it's not heavy and I'm not cramping, I don't need to go to the hospital.
It's just getting so old. I feel horrible for thinking this way, but I can't take much more of this. I spend each day worried that this pregnancy isn't normal and any minute I will have a miscarriage. I won't allow myself to get attached to the baby. Jim has picked a boys name out but I don't even want to think girl names now. Buying stuff or even getting things ready (like I did with my first) is not something on my mind.
I'm sorry for being such a downer but this is really started to depress me. When I talk to someone and my bleeding comes up, I am forced to listen to stories of people that had the same symptoms as me and they ended up losing the baby. Or I am reminded of how I never did this with my pregnancy with Nate. I don't want to hear this. Nor do I want people to try to make me feel better by saying everything is ok. It's not ok. If it was, why do I keep bleeding like this.
10/30/01:
I had my first OB appointment today. Since I have seen him twice for bleeding, all I got was an ultrasound. The baby was in there sleeping. I don't know what the heartbeat was. But the doctor is keeping my due date May 14. That would put me at twelve weeks on Tuesday. But the baby only measured 11 weeks, three days. Even if I am over due, I will still have the baby before Nate's birthday. So I am very relieved.
I got a copy of the ultrasound. If you want to see it, click here. Sadly, Nate and Jim missed the ultrasound. Nate was at school and Jim went to get him. By the time they got back, I was all done and walking out the door.
I have lost a couple of pounds from when I seen the nurse a month ago. I thought I would have lost more because I can't keep anything down. The next appointment is the end of November. I hope to get to hear the heartbeat and start getting measurements.