Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice) Constantly send emails to everyone in your office telling them what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom." Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Insist that your company email be something outlandish, i.e. zena_warrior_princess@ibm or elvis_is_back@microsoft Every time someone asks you to do something say "Would you like fries with that?" Encourage your colleagues to join you in synchronized chair dancing. Put your garbage can on your desk with an "IN" label stuck to it. Develop a fear of staplers. In the memo field of all of your checks write "For Sexual Favors" Pick one person in your office. After everything they say reply "That's what you think." During meetings finish all your sentences with "...in accordance with the prophecy." Turn the brightness level on your monitor all the way. Insist that you like it. Dont use any punctuation when writing reports or memos As often as possible, skip rather than walk. Sing along at the opera. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. When a friend invites you to a party a week in advance, tell them you're not in the mood. Park your car alongside a highway and point a hair dryer at every car that passes you.

A Guide To Staying Mentally Healthy For The Working Masses

Note: I would acknowledge someone for this work but I've never seen it credited to anyone. It's just one of those emails that gets passed all over and it's by far one of my favorites. If you know where this originated, please let me know.