Jay:See all these movies take place in a town called Shermer, in Illinois. And there's all this fine bush running around, and we could kick all the dude's asses because they're all whiney pussies. Except Judd Nelson, he was harsh. But best of all there was no one selling weed. So I says to Silent Bob "Man, we could live phat if we were the blunt connection in Shermer, Illinois!" So we collected some cash we were owed, and caught a bus. But when we got here, you know what we found out? There is no Shermer in Illinois. What kind of shit is that!? Fucking movies are bullshit! -Dogma

Snead's (Because If You Can't Think Of A Good Way To Say It, Just Find An Actor Who Already Has!)

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair; I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. I hate your big, dumb combat boots, And the way you read my mind, I hate you so much it makes me sick; It even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right, I hate it when you lie, I hate it when you make me laugh; Even worse, when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, And the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you; Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. -10 Things I Hate About You

Salty: Don't call it a gun. That's my friend, John Roscoe. When I need him, he speaks up for me, he's my persuader. You see, with your friends you can sway them with words and they listen. But with your enemies...well, that's where my friend John Roscoe comes in. He persuades my enemies. -Salty O'Rourke

Richard Boyle: I've done a lot of, you know, carnal sins, and drunk a lot of alcohol and done some drugs. I've kind of weasled around a lot in my life, trying to get the edge all the time. But basically, I would say I'm a good-hearted person. I haven't really done anything malicious in my life. I haven't done anything really great in my life either. I've tried to do some things, tried to find some truths. -Salvador

Dr. Evil: You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough. -Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Tinkerbell: You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting. -Hook

Frank: It's the same old story: boy finds girl, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl... -The Naked Gun

Jack: Why are you here, Doc? Doc: Wyatt's my friend. Jack: Hell. I got lots of friends. Doc: Well I don't. -Tombstone

Roy: When I walk down the street, people will look at me and say "There goes...the best there ever was". -The Natural

Red: Sometimes it makes me sad though...Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more grey and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend. -The Shawshank Redemption

Friar Tuck: This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker and glory to his bounty by learning about... beer! -Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Harris: Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment when love begins but we always know when it ends? -L.A. Story

Curly: I just turned around and rode away. Mitch: Why? Curly: I figured it wasn't going to get any better than that. Mitch: Yeah, but you could have been, you know, with her. Curly: I've been with lots of women. Mitch: Yeah, but, you know, she could have been the love of your life. Curly: She is. -City Slickers

Kevin: What about love? John Milton: Overrated. Biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate. -Devils Advocate

Uncle Willis: My dear boy, this is the sort of day history tells us is better spent in bed. -High Society

Narrator: This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time. Narrator: Marla was like that cut on the roof of your mouth that would go away if you would stop tounging it, but you can't. -Fight Club

Ramius: Upon reaching the New World Cortez, burned all his ships; as a result his men were well motivated. -The Hunt for the Red October

Mike: Mister, if you don't shut I'm gonna kick one hundred percent of your ass! -Fast Times at Ridgemont High