Brotherly Love
The influence of the truth of God suffers when brethren do not have godly attitudes toward one another or when godly attitudes are poorly applied. Some of the attitudes that assist us in “keeping the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” are found in Ephesians 4:1-3. Paul emphasizes in verse 15, “… but speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into him, who is the head, even Christ.” Some have difficulty applying both truth-speaking and love. At no time should we compromise the truth and the application of truth by reasoning that our silence evidences our love for people. Turning our heads to error and ignoring practices that are not in harmony with the will of God shows no love for God or others. On the other hand, we should not reason that speaking the truth excuses our harsh and impatient mannerisms. Both are necessary and both can and should be carried out. Paul wrote in Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt that you may know how to answer every man.” We should treat a brother or sister as we would want to be treated if we were in error, keeping in mind that we may be the one in error (See Galatians 6:1).
What is love? There are two basic kinds of love used in scripture. Two distinct terms are translated love in our English language. Jesus distinguishes the two terms in John 21:15-17 when conversing with Peter. Later, Peter distinguishes them in 1 Peter 1:22 when he writes, “Seeing ye have purified your souls in your obedience to the truth unto unfeigned love (phileo) of the brethren, love (agapao) one another from the heart fervently.” Phileo is the natural love between human beings due to the common bonds and interests of people. It may be expressed by tender affection. Paul writes, “In love of the brethren be tenderly affectioned one to another” (Romans 12:10). Agapao is divine love that knows no bounds and seeks to serve every person by acting in their best interest.
The natural feeling of affection, friendship love (phileo) is defined as “belonging to,” or “to regard and treat somebody as one of one’s own people” (Theological Dictionary of the N.T; IX, 115). The root word is present in the word translated “friend” (philos, John 11:11) and in “friendship” (philia, James 4:4). The word translated “kiss” is a translation of the Greek word philema.
This meaning is further seen in the objects of such love. For example, it is applied to the love of one’s parents (Matthew 10:37), a friend (John 11:3), “your own” (John 15:19). This friendship love is often observed toward the wrong objects: to love self, money, pleasure (1 Tim. 3:1-4), to love the world (James 4:4), to love personal acclaim and titles (Luke 20:46, Mat. 23:6), to love human wisdom (Col 2:8), to love a lie (Revelatin 22:15), to love strife or the eagerness to argue (Lk. 22:24), and to love preeminence (3 John 9).
When such natural love does not exist between brethren, it is an indicator that something is wrong with their relationship with each other and consequently, with God. This heartfelt love is witnessed when brethren are devoted to one another. Paul wrote, “In love of the brethren be tenderly affectioned, in honor preferring one another” (Rom. 12:10). The NASV translates it, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.” Preferring one another is not just favoring a brother or sister over one who is not a brother or sister, though that would be natural. Rather, we must prefer the other brother or sister over even ourselves. Similarly, Paul wrote to the Philippians, “…but in lowliness of mind (humility) each counting the other better than himself, not looking each of you to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others” (2:3,4). This is the courteous yielding of one’s own opinion or judgment to another. Peter also wrote, “Finally, be ye all likeminded, compassionate, loving as brethren, tenderhearted, humble-minded, not rendering evil for evil, or reviling, but contrariwise blessing…” ( 38,9). Our objective should always be to build each other up and/or to save those that hear us. Human pride often asserts its ugly head, causing us to “strive about words to no profit” just to win an argument. Such a spirit is not from above but is “earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing will be there” (James 3:15,16).
Unfortunately, those showing wrong attitudes while “standing for the truth” are sometimes so involved in their own self-righteousness that they also blind others including their own children to what is true righteousness. We have a generation of people in churches of Christ who do not apply true righteousness. First, some have followed another gospel – one that appeals to them by supplying them with an array of entertainment. Even in the pulpit, they are expecting to be entertained by a professional speaker to avoid the boredom of studying the Bible or hearing it read. Or, they will tolerate a moment of boredom knowing they will soon be allowed to have fun with their friends. Second, others in opposition to the above, will not have anything to do with the other and further alienate themselves and their children to a life of Pharisaical attitudes. They both either despise the other or resent the other for the past conflicts and differences. Each prejudice the minds of our youth with untruthful accusations, unfair labels, and the building of straw men to tear down. Each are truly “blind, and have forgotten the cleansing from his old sins” (See 2 Peter 1:5-9). Both are no longer applying all diligence to develop this warm friendship-love for one another.
We can and should enjoy one another, visit one another freely
