It's summer, and summers are hot. Even I know that. But there are some of you out there that just assume that nobody knows, and keeps informing us of that fact.
Look, fuckers, if I'm sitting here in a full suit right now, in the summer, and I'm not complaining about it, then the rest of you should shut the hell up. After all, when you assume, it makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me"...but more you than me.
Summertime allows great outdoor activities that you couldn't possibly enjoy during the winter, like washing cars.
Washing cars is a great cardio exercise and a nice way to cool off, but what I don't understand is why we need to soap up the cars. and now there are special scrubbing pads to wash cars with.
I know that with dishes, the soap helps lift the oil off the pots and pans for rinsing. but cars collect dirt and bird shit - those can be rinsed off with a hose, or at the most, mild rubbing with a cloth. There's no olive oil on the spoiler or barbeque sauce stuck to the passenger side door. Are you going to EAT off your '98 Toyota Camery? Plus, doesn't our body have more oil than a car? why don't we scrub and scower our skin with scrubbing pads?
Now, I know there are already some of you assholes thinking, "I use a wash cloth and loofah when i take a bath". To the guys, I say, "Loofah? Are you shitting me? Why don't you hop on the homo rail for a one-way route to fudgepackingville?!" For the ladies, "Mail me the proof".
I think that's all there is...for now. So, shut up about being hot, just hose your car down, have a nice summer, and
"I'm Rick James, bitch!"
